Shadowed Words

They/Them, 1994, I'm still tired.

[fuckhugeoctopus]

For years, sci-fi has asked, what if aliens were wetter than us. Project Hail Mary posits a new, daring question. What if we are the wet aliens

[yamada-ryo]

"Explaining binary search to a cop" should've caught on as a saying tbh.

[kalichnikov]

I forgot about the context to this. God this is so funny

Image description: screenshot of two paragraphs that read, "Afterward I found a chat room thread among Cambridge computer scientists, one of whom had also been told that unless he could pin down the moment of the theft no one would look at the footage. He said he tried to explain sorting algorithms to police - he was a computer scientist, after all.

"You don't search the whole thing, he said. You use a binary search. You fast forward to halfway, see if the bike is there and, if it is, zoom to three quarters of the way through. But if it isn't there at the halfway mark, you rewind to a quarter of the way through. It's very quick. In fact, he had pointed out, if the CCTV footage stretched back to the dawn of humanity it would still probably have only taken an hour to find the moment of the theft. This argument didn't go down well."

[virtualgirladvance]

teaching an old dog new tricks: trite cause dog likes you and wants to help but maybe is getting a bit hard for them

teaching a cop binary search: real cause even if they were smart enough to understand and use it they wouldnt because fuck you they dont care

[newyorkcitywater]

why is the human body composed of such capricious tubes

[homunculus-argument]

One interesting element of being a part of a conversation consisting of multiple ADHD people is the backtracking. At some point you realise you're all talking about granny oil wrestling or trying to remember what lobster blood is made of, and you all just go "wait, how the fuck did we get here?" and then you all start retracing your steps to figure out what you had been talking about before, and how it led to this one, until you get back to how you jumped from normal conversations to how one would logistically arrange an ostrich brothel.

[the-doctor-and-the-asshole]

Like reversing a VHS. I you forget what happened, you need to rewind and try again.

[brightlotusmoon]

Me rewinding my VHS tapes over and over until we got a separate VHS rewinder that I just had to trust

[gay-irl]

gay irl

[glumshoe]

whoa the exact same thing happened to me once

[inatcats]

Jungle Cat (Felis chaus)

Observed by myworldofbirdphotography, CC BY-NC

[lightweightkate]

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

[uncharacter-istically]

[Video caption:

O-okay, let’s get into this, shall we?

*grumbling* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Joker- *shouting* Lex Luthor, by like, a fucking mile!

Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction, which is bad. Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s not a great mix. He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.

But let’s analyze what working for Lex Luthor is like versus the fucking Joker. With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out, so you’re not a treat, so he can stop the problem.

If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not fucking dead. You say one wrong thing? Bang. You don’t laugh at his jokes? Bang! You do laugh at his jokes? Bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman?

Who’s Lex Luthor’s right-hand-man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome. Who’s Joker’s right-hand-man? Bob? Nah, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her multiple times. Slappy? Who the fuck is Slappy?

The best case scenario of working for the Joker is that you fight the fucking Batman! And that presents its own fucking list of problems. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex’ll be pissed, but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop Batman as a Joker henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out yesterday.

This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question, and the correct one is Lex fucking Luthor. Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk, have a nice day.

End caption.]

[loveitorreblogit]

Bitch neither I work for Wayne Industries, they got better offers than work these clowns:

[gandalfsbignaturals]

batmans secret special attack is offering all of his enemys henchmen a living wage and guaranteed healthcare

[frontmansdefender]

I aspire to be as passionate about something as this guy and the orcas are passionate about hating the sunfish

In the sunfish’s defense!!!!!

[crazyneutral]

Hank Green has also become enamored of The Fish

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

So my mom's friend of 35 years, Pat, probably one of the kindest people I've ever known, almost succumbed to depression via gun.

How she survived is beyond me.

But she lost an eye and has a very long road to recovery ahead of her, so my sister set up a fundraiser for her. We don't talk about the big S word there, because she only just admitted it to us. We thought she'd maybe gotten attacked. Finding out it was her that did it was devastating. We're considering trying to save up as a family to go visit her.

In Florida. I'm going to change my gender marker on my ID just to do it. Thank God Nevada doesn't care about that and you can change it around as many times as you want or need!

The fundraiser is tied to a Cashapp card that only my mom and Pat have access to. My mom, because she navigates the Internet far better than Pat does, and can use the money to order things for her directly. Pat, because duh.

She needs a lot of stuff. Her fake eye that Medicaid covered isn't great. Her rehabilitation stay may get cut short. She can barely swallow food or talk.

If you can help I would really appreciate it. Pat is one of the most loving people I know and the fact that she felt alone enough to even go this route has made me cry like. A lot? But if you can't help, please please please share. Please.

Pat deserves all of the love and care in the world, especially right now.

Donate to Help Pat Recover After Horrific Accident, organized by Ashley Gonzales

Pat has been through an unimaginable ordeal since a horrific accident in Febr… Ashley Gonzales needs your support for Help Pat Recover After

[neopet-euthanization]

[zomdead-deactivated20260110]

transgenderbloodsport

[ruinedchildhood]

[politijohn]

Source

[discoursedrome]

monks debating whether vows of silence should still allow you to leave emoji reacts on the monastery groupchat

[gallusrostromegalus]

So a guy I went to middle school with now works in the vatican and according to Cam, the rules on:

Whether you can leave emoji reacts in the groupchat

Whether you can leave regular messages in the groupchat

Whether you can HAVE a groupchat

Whether you can have Electronic Devices

-vary from one silent monastic order to another, but none of them have ever successfully banned "Long trail of increasingly hostile post-it messages on the fridge".

[locked-keye]

[writing-prompt-s]

You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.

[bixbythemartian]

[Audio starts]

“Mom has been texting me for the last twenty minutes. She wants me to come home. It’s a four hour drive, when the roads are clear, and from what I hear everybody is trying to get somewhere right now. There’s no telling if I’d even-”

“Everybody else has left. All the other kids were picked up, the other staff left. They gave me all the keys. I promised to stay and wait for as long as- well. Even if some of the parents show up, I guess some of them won’t, so I’m just waiting. Until.”

[Clears throat.]

“A couple of people came after everybody left. Peter, one of Aidan’s fathers, gave me three hundred dollars for staying. What am I going to do with money? It’s- anyway. I kind of get it. He wanted to give me something.”

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“They’re all between 2 and 4.” Sniff. “They’re so little. Too little to really- maybe if they were older, I’d have to tell them something. But um. I’m just- trying to stay calm and keep them happy and occupied. I think that’s the best thing, right now.”

[Heaving breaths.]

“I normally use this recorder to help me remember stuff. It’s just, uh, habit to talk to it. I don’t know. They’re napping, right now. I’ve got the baby monitor, they know that if they talk into it, I’ll come, so-”

[Sobbing.]

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“Mom keeps texting, so I blocked her. I sent her a text telling her goodbye, first, but. I do. But these kids need me.”

[Sniff.]

“I tried calling their parents again, but I can’t get anybody. It’s just busy signals. I called the firefighter station, 911. I can’t get through to anybody.”

[Shaky breath.]

“I went out into the yard. Um, I think they can play. It’s nice out, and you can’t really see it yet. Little bit of a glimmer, if they ask I’ll just tell them it’s a plane, but it’s nice out and we’ve got hours before-”

[Murmuring child’s voice, indistinguishable.]

[Audio ends]

Keep reading

[papayafromtv]

i like a jason that genuinely was a textbook perfect child before he died, and he started going back to that goody-two-shoes way of life after reconciling with the bats. it’s just kinda in his nature; he likes the attention and the fact that bruce lets him get away with so much because ‘he’s such a good kid’, and he likes knowing he’s better than his siblings.

the rest of the batkids are absolutely disgusted by this dynamic, by the way. all the adults around them think jason is a fucking angel, and it drives them insane because the second bruce and alfred turn their backs, jason is a complete asshole of a brother. and there’s nothing they can do about it because in everybody elses eyes this man practically shits gold.

*at breakfast*

Jason: oh hey, Alfred, sit down; i’ll do the dishes. you just enjoy the food.

Alfred, smiling: why thank you, Master Jason. i believe i’ll take you up on that, the sunroom is lovely and sunny right now.

Jason: you just relax and enjoy it then :)

Jason, the second Alfred leaves to sit down with his food: *shoves Tim off his stool and steals his food* this is mine now, you go do the dishes.

Tim: ?!?!?!?!

~

*Damian and Jason at the league*

Ra’s, begrudgingly pleased: you have certainly surpassed my expectations, Todd. i have to say, my daughter made a good choice bringing you into our ranks.

Talia: you truly are worthy of being an Al Ghul heir.

Jason: :D

Damian, face flat: you know he didn’t even do the mission you assigned him, right? he hired a mercenary and went to Legoland.

Jason: *kicks him in the shin* HA! as if! man, little kids say the darnedest things… i thought i taught you better than that Damian!

Ra’s: yes… Damian, perhaps we should up your training until you learn not to spread lies in an attempt to tear your brother down. you could learn from him, you know.

Damian, loudly: i am going to kill myself.

~

Jason, walking through the manor: *accidentially knocks over an antique ceramic decoration, smashing it*

Jason:

Jason: *locks eyes with Dick from across the hall*

Dick: don’t-

Jason: BRUCE, DICK BROKE YOUR THING-

Dick: god DAMMIT JASON-

~

Bruce: *giving a mission brief on the batcomputer*

Jason: *shoots Tim with a slingshot*

Tim: *yelps*

Bruce, turning around: what’s happening?

Tim: Jason’s-!

Jason, slingshot hidden behind his back: oh, what? i what, Tim? because it seems like all i can fucking do is disappoint this family nowadays, i don’t even know why i fucking came home when none of you seem to like me being around,

Tim: YOU LITERALLY-

Bruce, snapping: ok that’s enough. Tim, don’t be rude to Jason, he hasn’t done anything wrong. if you can’t get a hold of yourself then you’ll just have to be benched for the night, understood?

Tim: ARE YOU- SERIOUSLY?!?!?

Bruce: yes. not another complaint. *turns back to the batcomputer*

Jason, grinning: *brings out his slingshot*

Tim, dead inside: i miss being an only child.

like, Jason’s a good brother, and he’ll have his siblings’ backs in anything. but he’s also the prodigal son that everybody mourned and it’s the biggest get out of jail free card in existence and he 100% abuses it at any and all opportunity.

[atomikats]

my personal take on the matter

[valtsv]

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

[valtsv]

a hoe never gets lyme disease

[perditionsflames]