ShakespeareAllanPoe

"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know" - Morticia Addams

[shakespeareallanpoe]

*Dick Grayson trying to give Damian a brotherly talk*

Dick: "Pick your battles, Robin. Pick...um, pick fewer battles than that. Ok, put some back. That's still a little too many."

[sajucaart]

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." ✨

A gift for one of the winners of my DTIYS challenge @myra_paints (IG) 🥰! I loved painting her character Raven. Couldn't resist adding some birds to liven up the composition 🐦‍⬛

[shakespeareallanpoe]

It is my solid opinion that Raven would come back from a week long magic related mission looking like this and Damian-I'm-the-heir-to-the-mantle-of-the-bat-Wayne Al Ghul would take one look at the love of his life dressed like a dark goddess and simply pass out on the spot.

[shakespeareallanpoe]

The teen titans, meeting Damian for the first time: "Robin, no offense, but I think you're really mean."

Damian:

[shakespeareallanpoe]

I think DC needs to wake up and realize that pitting Damian-fresh-out-of-Nada-Parbat-Al-Ghul against multiple supervillains and everybody in general is unrealistic. Please. That boy grew up in an environment where the nearest dentist was several kilometers away in any given direction. And even if the league did care about checkups, their teeth would get knocked out two weeks later from their fighting so there would be no point in visiting. 11 year old Damian's arch-nemesis would ABSOLUTELY be the first unlucky doctor who sat him down for his first visit (at Bruce's insistance) and dared to shove several dental instruments into his mouth. God forbid they had to do x-rays too.

_______

*Cuts to Damian storming out of his first cleaning as the first child without a goodie bag and violently swearing bloody revenge*

"...Father I have never been so violated by a healthcare professional in my life. And the word "professional" is a term I use loosely."

"Pennyworth I DEMAND justice. Change Father's mind immediately. I shall not be returning."

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Satan: "Hey, so I bought your soul last week, and..."

Ras Al Ghul: "No returns."

Satan: "Please. I'm scared."

[inverted-typo]

“A perfect person doesn’t exist.”

Damian: ????

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Why am I reading it as Damian's thoughts as he's telling himself that everyone is eventually disappointing and perfection does exist, blah blah blah and his inner mind goes: WTF?!? She does??

[shakespeareallanpoe]

I'm also imagining it like that scene from Inside Out where the emotions all put on a memory of a person on the vision screen so they can swoon and the person can "daydream" about the object of their affections.

Like, at some point (probably perched on a gargoyle) Damian is brooding too much and his emotions are like, "ok we've already surpassed the "burdened by duties unimaginable zone" for this week and if we clock in any more brooding time we are going to become Batman faster than anticipated."

And then Joy is just like, "hey guys! Remember that time Raven took Titus for a walk and came back with a doggie sweater for him?"

[inverted-typo]

“A perfect person doesn’t exist.”

Damian: ????

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Why am I reading it as Damian's thoughts as he's telling himself that everyone is eventually disappointing and perfection does exist, blah blah blah and his inner mind goes: WTF?!? She does??

[shakespeareallanpoe]

"...and I believe the tigers in the zoo are also warming up to my companionship Kyle, as they passed me multiple times during my four hours sitting outside their enclosure..."

"Damian. Do call me Selina."

"Tt. Very well."

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Batfam as Tumblr Quotes (pt.3)

Dick

Damian

Barbara

Steph

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Tim: What are you guys' favorite cereals?

Damian: Cocoa Puffs

Tim: Good answer, good answer

Jason: Frosties

Dick: *turns to Jason* That is such a basic answer

Jason: So what?! They're good! Let me guess, yours is like Fruit Loops, the Tropical Edition or something!

Dick: No, who do you think I am?! Mine is obviously the "Super Crunch" Edition from 2005

Tim: The Superman cereal? The one that had wildberry, cherry AND cinnamon all in one box?

Damian: I doubt that those are still safe for consumption, Richard

Jason: You were asked to name your favourite cereal and you go ahead and are like "Oh, I like the Ford Bronco produced in 1993! Yes, it has to be from 1993 because the other ones suck actually!" Be a fucking person, Dick!

[shakespeareallanpoe]

"I doubt that those are still safe for consumption, Richard." LOL 😂

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Raven, 4-6 business days before Damian first showed up at Titans Tower

[wickedbats]

[Villain punching Damian] Dick, Jason, and Tim, all raising their weapons: You mess with the wrong bat.

[shakespeareallanpoe]

*0.003 seconds later* Dick, Jason and Tim, all lowering their weapons as Damian beats the dog shit out of said Villain: You messed with the wrong bat

[shakespeareallanpoe]

*Tim gets thrown into a wall and isn't moving*

Batman: "Robin. Check the pulse."

Damian: *completely misses all pulse points on purpose and sticks a gloved finger in Tim's ear instead*

Damian: "No pulse. He's dead."

[arttuff]

meow

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Weirdly proud of being the 666th person to reblog this...

^before me

[shakespeareallanpoe]

"The window is just another door for me to enter a home that isn't mine."

-The Batfam, most definitely

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Damian: "I believe I'm forgetting something..."

Jon: "Your morals, probably."

Damian: "No, no. Something important."

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Batfam as Tumblr Quotes (pt.2)

Cass

Kate

Tim