me when we start eating billionaires and i have to kill gomez addams
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

#extradirty
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Mike Driver

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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Discoholic 🪩
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@shardsystemactivate
me when we start eating billionaires and i have to kill gomez addams
Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears.
this is my favorite video on the internet
mental health tip: save this video. watch it when you’re sad. it’s the best goddamn thing on the internet
Penguins attend classes on the first day of school at the University of Antarctica, 2007
i know this is fake history but i hope it’s real future
this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
It’s by Tim Burton, what did you honestly expect?
Actually, it’s Henry Selick, who was the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas. The book was written by Neil Gaiman, though, and is far…far….worse.
Sorry, I’m about to geek the hell out.
The movie is captivating, but the book is twenty kinds of terrifying, even now, ten years after I first read it. As disturbing as the movie may have been to some, the things Selick added really serve to cushion just how horrific the story really is.
First of all, the character of Wybie does not exist in the book. Coraline is facing all of this nearly alone, with her only help coming from the sly comments of the cat, a warning from the circus mice, and the stone given to her by her neighbor, presented with no comment but that it “makes the unseen seen.”
Second, the Other Parents are never quite as warm (and, dare I say, normal) as they are in the gifs above. They’re described as having paper-white skin and the Other Mother’s hair is said to move on its own, and her long, red, claw-like nails don’t ease any uncertainty that she is absolutely, positively up to no good. The first time Coraline meets them, they (and the rest of the Others) seem to be playing roles (for whatever reason, Coraline does not seem to pick up on this), like they all know what to say and what to do and are simply waiting for Coraline to make her move in their terrifying play world. This is shown to be partly true when the Other Parents tell her they know she’ll be back soon after she refuses the buttons - this time, to stay.
Third, the Other Mother commits atrocities that really should not have been in a book for anyone not fully grown up. She physically deforms the world around Coraline to slow her progress in their game beyond any mild traps the movie portrays, and, instead of turning the Other Father into the wandering pumpkin-thing seen in the film, she simply ceases to use him and throws his body away in the cellar, leaving him to rot with whatever bit of sentience he has left. She begins to lose her touch, as Coraline gains the upper hand. Her world doesn’t just become a nightmare - it falls apart completely. No creepy but oddly cool bug furniture here, just the house that now appears to be a child’s drawing. Whatever the Other Mother is (a beldame, but something tells me she’s much more ancient and powerful than that), she does not give half a hump about what she has to do to ensnare Coraline. Destroy the supporting characters of her twisted creation? Done. Allow herself to be dismembered to ruin Coraline’s life in the normal world? Not even gonna bat an eyelash.
On a final, personal note, imagine eight year-old me, ignored by my parents, absorbed in the story and identifying with Coraline from the start. Imagine me finishing this bloodcurdling book and immediately thinking of my basement, where there is still a locked door that my grandmother swears up and down is nothing more than a storage room, but has not once in my (or my mother’s) lifetime unlocked.
Can you see why this book still scares me?
Fun fact I learned from seeing neil gaiman speak: when he first wanted the book published, his editor said it was too scary. He suggested she read it to her young daughter, and then decide. So she did, and her daughter wasn’t afraid, and it was published. Years later, Gaiman was sitting next to that daughter at an event and told her this story, and she said “oh I was terrified I just didn’t want to tell my mom”.
Coraline WAS too scary to be published, but exists anyway because a girl lied to her mother.
@neil-gaiman, is this true about the publisher’s daughter?
It was my literary agent, Merrilee Heifetz who read it and said “you can’t seriously expect this to be published as a children’s book.” So I suggested she read it to her daughters. And she called me back a week later and said “They love it and they weren’t scared at all. I’ll take it to Harper Children’s.”
A decade later, at the Opening Night of the Coraline musical, I was sitting next to Morgan, Merilee’s youngest daughter, and told her how her not being scared had made the book happen. And she said “I was terrified. But I needed to find out what happened next. So nobody knew.”
So, yes.
This website can be toxic at times, but the fact that people can just tag Neil Gaiman to get his input, like a sorcerer invoking a benevolent spirit, is definitely a bright spot.
Stéphane Mallarmé, from Collected Poems and Other Verse; “The Afternoon of a Fawn,” (x)
A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.
Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?
Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.
Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok
Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts
Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
A++ addition
Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?
Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great
I LOVE THIS
Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.
Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.
Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal.
“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”
Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”
Following up on my previous post: http://shardsystemactivate.tumblr.com/post/164550926075/im-honestly-surprised-i-havent-seen-any-posts HE SPEAKS!
I'm honestly surprised I haven't seen any posts about this, so here goes. In Steam Powered Giraffe's 2009 version of Album One, "On Top Of The Universe" ends with Upgrade asking Michael Reed for a very large sledgehammer to "turn off" The Spine after he holds the songs final note, as he does in the better-known 2011 version. Upgrade then proceeds to search the stations for a song she likes which leads into "I Am Not Alone." However, before this, the stations play a couple of songs which may or may not have been recognizable. 4:35 plays a sound bite from The 2¢ Show's "Juju Magic," 4:38 pulls up "I am in a Cube" from David Michael Bennett's "College Recordings & Solo Work," which can be downloaded as an Engineer-eteer, and 4:43 introduces an unknown song seemingly written by the band as filler, since I can't find anything about it anywhere. "I be livin' in the living room, sleepin' on the floor, you asking me what is what the living room for, living at my dad's house on a mattress on the floor..."
is satan gay?
No. He has a wife, Mrs. Claus
What?
my hand slipped
i love old science fiction because it’s all like “IT’S THE DISTANT YEAR TWO THOUSAND AND THREE AND MAN IS EXPLORING THE DEEP CORNERS OF THE UNIVERSE” like god bless you old sci-fi you had such high hopes for us
And then there’s The Running Man which starts with:
“That’s what was so exciting to your mom, that life is full of so many possibilities, and you would get to explore them for yourself. I mean, you could be Steven, or Nora, or anyone else.”
- Greg Universe, Steven Universe
So, Greg is accepting of Steven changing his name to and/or just being Nora, if Steven so pleased, and this makes me so happy!
How much lace could Jesse Lacey lace if Jesse Lacey could lace lace?
I got bored.
It seems the sun rises. It brings things to light. I live and I walk with a new sense of sight In what I so long fretted. There's no longer fright. I may bid my farewell to the Queen of the Night.
A Valentine Some Time Ago
It was your warmth which helped my heart thaw In darkness, your glimmering light's what I saw From that moment, your presence did leave me in awe I admired so fervently, it left my eyes raw But though I'm still grateful for all that you've done I can no longer call you the sun And though I imagined our future'd be fun I can no longer see you as The One Just know that you'll always be seen as a friend That you helped in more ways than you may comprehend And, for now, my well wishes are all I can send Until this situation can be brought to mend.
New Era Newspeak
May we not end up like Winston or Julia Let not this Trump-led regime's clutches pull ya Think muchwise your thoughtcrimes and keep your mind set On "Freedom is Freedom," but please don't forget That Peace will be War until Big Brother's gone Until every last law that brings harm is withdrawn I'll risk being unpersoned to fight for the just For the speedful revolt on this tyrant's a must Time to gather your friends, make sure it's understood That the fight against Minitruth is doubleplusgood