King Shepard

My name is Shepard. I was born in 1996 in February. It's King Shepard because King happened to be my nickname in high school. Part of it anyway.

[sanska]

That’s not a bird

[boxenstopp]

an ode to my online friends (i love you)

[rumwik]

Strange haunted photo where Winifred looks like she's a painting

[needs-more-hugs]

I have placed her in a more fitting setting

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

For the first time in my tenure on tumblr, it's "THAT'S A PHOTOGRAPH?" and not "THAT'S AN OIL PAINTING?"

[ph0inon]

i drew this last july after 3.4 *khaslana retains his memories while the others don't

[bolters-and-rivets]

I've just discovered there's a reddit user that's editing warhammer into historical art peices and photos that Tumblr deserves to see

Credit to u/TheTwist, please check out all their edits, and if you have a reddit account, tell them what you think of their work.

and my personal favourite

they also have a series on warhammer characters in dresses titled "the prittiest X"

[bolters-and-rivets]

Hi! you're in luck! Fuedal worlds are a catagory of planet within the Imperium of man, they're basically exactly what you're looking for, planets with a dark ages to pre-industrial levels of civilisation set under the backdrop of a vast & crumbling interstellar empire held together only by the sheer innertia of the thing. they're often deliberately held back as harsher worlds produce hardier recruits for the Imperial Guard and Space Marines

the most frequent example are the home planets of knight houses, they're much like the knights of old with hirearchies and chivalric honour and courtly politicing, with the sole distinction being that the Knights in question are metres tall mechs capable of dropping a kiloton's worth of munitions in a single voley

Warhammer 40,000 as a setting is large enough and more or less has built in justification for running an army however the hell you want, right down to a horde of tiny guardsmen clad in knight armour

[thrawlane]

had an idea

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[juststarsandthemoon]

Free service with no ads: Okay so these guys are stealing my data

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[kedreeva]

Take a moment from your busy day to relax and observe all the ways to pester a peahen, at her insistence.

[levelvii]

For the birds that like pets, do beak rubs tend to be their favorite? They seem to ask for more pretty consistently

[kedreeva]

Yep! They like break rubs best, followed by jaw rubs under the jaw, followed by gentle neck rubs where their head is in my hand and my thumb goes over and over the spot behind their jaw/ear. They also enjoy a finger stroking over the top of their heads (especially if their jaw is resting on my hand), and having their little head held like a stick shift (like being tucked into their wing to sleep I guess, because they'll fall asleep like that if they're already sitting down). They don't seem to mind the neck pets where I circle my fingers around their neck and stroke down (but they also don't particularly ask for it), and Bug likes her saddle pet (rapidly and harder than you'd expect, more like you're trying to brush something off her that's a little stuck on...I don't know why she's like that), but none of them really like anything past about mid back to be touched. Some of them have liked feet rubs (Princess is going to be like that, maybe Dragon too, but Bug and Mantis are Not).

This is, I think, tragic for them all. Visitors who want to pet them rarely want to put fingers too close to beaks, so they just end up mildly annoying the birds trying to pet them on the back like a cat or dog. I regret to inform you that peafowl have no bones and their necks are very long, it doesn't matter where you pet them... If they want to bite you, they will. The birds WANT you to pester them in the face, that is counterintuitively where you are least likely to get a hard bite. They show affection through face and neck preening. But I cannot convince anyone to pet them in the face like they want.

[puppyaulait]

Archon’s ache

[fandom-aleatoire]

So QQQ has figured out that either 1) SQH doesn’t know how expensive that shit is or 2) whoever he has wrapped around his finger is completely whipped, because he keeps dragging his sleeves through ink. (Spoiler, it’s both and he has an existential crisis when he figures it out.)

She’s sneaking around SQH’s leisure house, when all of a sudden she’s cold as fuck and she’s locking eyes with a huge, handsome ice demon with a fancy gold hairpin in his hands. He looks at her, puts the pin on SQH’s desk, glares at her for a second. Then he’s just… gone. Wtf.

Well, now she’s knows what’s going on. He’s colluding with demons. Obvi, she hunts down YQY, because she knows she’s outclassed. 

QQQ: SQH is in cahoots with demons!

YQY (sipping tea): I know.

QQQ: Yes, we must arre- wait. What.

YQY (raising an eyebrow): do you know where he gets SQQ’s special talisman paper? Because I don’t.

QQQ: fair

[melgillman]

Here’s HSTHETE, the 24 hour comic I drew this year!  Thanks to everybody who followed along on twitter this weekend as I posted these pages <3

PS: if you liked this, there’s a whole book of these comics available now!

[red-garden]

I wish there was a way to communicate on grocery deliveries “Hiii 🥺 I promise I’m not doing bc I’m lazy 🥺🥺🥺 I’m just disabled🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 please don’t leave out large parts of my order🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I love you🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺”

[unriyality]

Qijiu on a date at the abortion clinic

[plagues-and-poisons]

@red-garden

[red-garden]

I’m always saying this

[dorothygale]

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

[indigobuntings]

I can't believe home depot literally produced a wildly successful science fiction musical and we all just pretend it didn't happen. on one hand yes it had a boring white guy main character but like.... home depot just... Made it? And it had shit ton of box office sales? and no one even talks about this. this is like avatar (2009) all over again

[indigobuntings]

OK so. After a lot of frantic googling I realized this was all a dream. home depot did not in fact produce a wildly successful science fiction musical. I was on allergy meds and took a nap and my brain simply prophesized this. slightly disappointed because I wanted to watch it.

[krchov]

(by @galwednesday)