My name is Iko! I make art, short stories, and occasionally analysis posts for characters. I have lots of creative hobbies, but I also spend a lot of time with psychology. I love learning about people and all the little things going on in their heads. Feel free to interact with me in my inbox or if you see me around, but keep in mind that I am very nervous! I may be a little jumpy, but don't let that deter you! I love discussions! Have a nice day ☺️
Fandoms
Tokyo Debunker
Twisted Wonderland
Obey Me
Undertale/Deltarune
Message Box Rules~
🫀 I am always open to requests, but it may take a while to complete. Please be patient! I might also just never finish it so, uh, hehe
🫀 Please be as specific as possible with your requests, especially if it's for a character analysis! The limit is one idea per request. If it involves multiple characters in the same topic (ex an analysis on the relationship between two people), I may accept it. Feel free to put in multiple messages, though. I just don't want to get things confused.
🫀 I do not accept NSFW. I'm otherwise lenient with what I'll allow, but smut is a definite no! Gore is acceptable.
The game doesn't explain its fighting system well enough, and with how low the summoning rates are, it totally feels like it's Pay-to-win. But as a ftp player myself, I'm here to tell you it's possible! It does take a while to pile up, but once it does, it's a total avalanche.
my credentials:
Topics covered:
Leveling up, team building, resource gathering, nightmare raids
First and foremost, let's work on building a Main. Choose ➡️ONE⬅️ SSR card to be your primary fighter. Having one strong card will do better than two smaller ones! So pick ONE!!
Once you've picked, you can dump everything you have into LEVEL and POTENTIAL.
This one is mine! I've been playing for a couple years, so I had the resources to switch my main, and then to start building a second main with whatever I'd maxed out on the first.
-->click the "skills" button and take note if your card is S or P for later.
If you have your card's matching Warding card, equip it now and upgrade its POTENCY, LEVEL, and SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES. Your warding card gives a huge boost to power, and when it matches, you get an additional Link Bonus that increases with upgrades. AWAKENING the warding card really helps, so I recommend awakening it fully!
If you do Not have the matching warding, it might be better to wait until you can get it first.
Tools:
There are three kinds of tools. Perfume, Brooch, and Accessory. The Accessory is different depending on the card you have. Through Galaxy missions, you can obtain up to A level equipment. Only R+ can be upgraded.
For R+, you need to go to Mr Mo's Mines. I recommend only summoning when there is an event that rewards you for summoning here. Otherwise, you are not guaranteed to earn anything from it.
-->equipment Grade is more important than its Level, but I would still recommend saving for higher quality if possible.
When leveling them up, here's what you should prioritize based on your card.
For P Attackers: Perfume>>Accessory>>Brooch
For S Attackers: Brooch>>Accessory>>Perfume
Gemstones:
There are 10 different kinds of gemstones. If you press the "?" Button and scroll down far enough, it will tell you what they all do, and then you'll figure out that the ones with weird names just help 2 stats and aren't actually that complicated.
In battles, you do not attack very often. So, you want to maximize Attack per hit and Defense for between hits.
For P attackers: Warding-->HP, P ATK, Strength or ATK. Perfume--> S DEF, P DEF, HP. Other--> same as warding
For S attackers: Warding-->HP, S ATK, Intelligence or ATK. Brooch-->S DEF, P DEF, HP. Other--> same as warding
of course, you can switch it up a bit depending on your needs, but this is what I've got.
Gemstones can be bought up to Level 9, and then can be upgraded up to 15 in your equip menu. Do your Warding's gems first.
Pets:
You can get SSR pets from the Nightmare events. These can be upgraded by sacrificing your other pets. Other pets come from Eggs at varying levels, but they should only be used as placeholders until you can get an SSR to upgrade.
➡️TEAM BUILDING⬅️
Once again, mine's gonna look a little different because I have enough for a Secondary.
But oh my gosh, do NOT just use the Optimize button. It is NOT optimal.
Here's the Team menu. If you press and hold on any of these characters, their Skills menu will pop up.
Based off of your cards' skills, you should arrange them in a way that gives your Main an advantage.
In the first few Squads, I recommend using extra damage skills, like Curse and Poison.
Right before your Main, I'd put a couple Sleep or Stun cards.
Right after your Main, but as many Guards as you have.
If your Main's skill has a skill that, for example, does extra damage to Cursed enemies, put a bunch of Curse cards right before it. Mine have Endurance, so I did not put anything special in front of them.
If you have extra cards, you should use a shrunken version of this logic to have extra teams for Guild Battles as that is the only place you can use them.
➡️RESOURCE GATHERING⬅️
Once your teams are ready, head over to Arena. Here is where your primary income of Gems and Pyramids will come from. It rewards you for your rank every 24 hours. Gem prizes can be anything up to ~300 daily.
If you want a better chance at winning, maybe take a quick glance at the other players's team. You don't need to examine it, but checking their Main and will give a better idea of their power than their Total power.
Also, if they have their main at the very top, they probably used the "optimize" button on their teams... your chance of winning is 80%.
Now, go do your daily tasks. You will earn most supplies from Investigations. Doing your dailies will also reward you 150 gems + whatever you get from reaching the Active Bonus.
You also have things like Chests(inventory), Guild Points(guild), Feathers(pheonix exchange), and Silver Coins(arena). You can use these for extra supplies as needed.
➡️NIGHTMARE RAIDS⬅️
The last place to get supplies from is Nightmare. These happen twice per day, and are team events. The most notable resources from Nightmare are Gapples, Pink coins, and Gem shards.
I only login once per day, and it's during this time. You don't have to do both raids, and you don't have to do raids daily. They get frustrating, I know, but they are useful.
Most players do raids within the first couple minutes of Nightmare opening, but there are some strays afterwards. I do recommend friending some people to do raids with if you need to, but doing it with strangers works as well. I'm pretty sure the top raid's power is about the equivalent of 3 ftp players who've been doing their dailies consistently, so you should be fine.
➡️➡️For Nightmare, it will tell you the raid's power. BUT, if you have THREE PLAYERS in your room, you ONLY need a combined power of ~70% of the raid.⬅️⬅️
If you still can't beat them, try again at a lower one. Some resources is better than none.
Also, being defeated once does not mean you can never beat that raid. Similarly to Arena and Galaxy, since the attacks are directed randomly, the result is highly based in chance.
Unsuccessful attempts do not count towards your Key count, so feel free to try again. I especially have to retry a lot when I'm by myself, even if I have more power than the raid I'm doing.
That's about everything! If you have questions, please ask. I'm not very active, but I'll get to it when I see it.
⤷ Sho Haizono Headcanons ꒰does contain mentions of nails and makeup but no pronouns!!꒱
❥ Sho seldom lets people in aside from Leo. Sure, he’s had a few flings in the past, but he rarely gets past that point. Partially because he’s so occupied with his food truck (and putting up with a certain pest), but also because he genuinely had no interest in having a serious relationship. While Sho isn’t the outwardly coddling type, he does care a lot and the fact that he chooses to be in a relationship with you reflects that.
❥ Sho isn’t one to rush into things, he prefers to think things through and act out accordingly. So when he realizes his feelings, he’ll accept them without any resistance and think of when and how to confess. He won’t drop the bomb immediately but drop subtle hints, like inviting you to his food truck after closing to give you leftovers or to taste-test some new dishes before they’re officially put on the menu. He’d eventually just invite you over and cook you whatever you like rather than giving you leftovers from before.
❥ He’d be the type to memorize your food preferences and what you like, that way he can make them more. He’d also be the type to learn how to make dishes from your culture. He’d invite you over to try it and give him feedback so he can perfect it.
❥ His main love languages would be acts of service and quality time. While he won’t smother you in public or serenade you with words, he’ll care for you in more quiet ways. He’d tie your hair back when you’re cooking together in the kitchen (or move it out of your face if you have shorter hair), cover the corners of tables or desks when you walk by, and surprise you with your favorite meal after completing a long mission. He may not be the most expressive verbally, but he’d know you and your preferences down to a t.
❥ His favorite form of quality time would be cooking with you. Even if you’re not the best cook, he’d still make an effort to teach you regardless of whether or not you make progress (I mean, have you seen how he still helps out at the Mystery Diner despite them not getting any better?). He’d enjoy taking you out on late night rides on Bonnie away from Darkwick. Perhaps in a secluded area in the mountains where the both of you can have your privacy. He’d drive the both of you out to an area that’s not as affected by light pollution, that way you can stargaze. He’d also take you on restaurant dates.
❥ If you ever get your nails done, he’d be the type of boyfriend that can help pick out a nail color for you. You could show him two slightly different shades of the same color and he’ll be able to pick the more flattering one. And after you’re finished, he’d ask you to send him a picture of your new nails. Same goes for clothing, if you ask him to pick out an outfit for you, he’ll find something in your style.
❥ If you ever take him to a makeup store, he’ll let you use his hand as a tester. His hand would be littered in multiple samples of lip products but he wouldn’t care if it made you happy. And he’d drive you to and from the store on Bonnie.
❥ He’d enjoy indulging in your hobbies, and if it’s something that he doesn’t already know how to do, he’d like to learn from you. Or, if you’d like to learn one of his hobbies he’ll teach you. While he hasn’t touched his guitar in a while, he wouldn’t be opposed to teaching you how to play. He’d sit behind you as he guides you on how to hold it and the different fingerings.
❥ For milestones, such as anniversaries or your birthday, he’ll bake you a tiny cake. He’d remember your preferences, like your favorite flavor or if you like frosting or not, and put that knowledge to use. While he doesn’t bake nearly as much as he cooks, he’ll still look up the best recipes and baking tips. He’ll be the type to study the difference between under mixed, over mixed, and perfect cake batter just so he can perfect your cake.
❥ Since he’s got a busy schedule, he’ll manually mark down your guy’s dates on his calendar so as to not forget. You would be one of his priorities.
❥ He’d like when you wear his clothes (specifically his shirt) since he’d find it cute.
❥ When you’re sick, he’ll take good care of you. Although he still has to run his food truck, he’ll pre-cook meals that you can easily heat up and stop by after he closes. He’ll bring medicine from the campus store and cook up some soup for you. While he won’t outwardly show it, he’d worry over you and insist on spoon-feeding it to you. He’d click his tongue and scold you if you ever try to get up but that would be because he wants you to rest. If you’re burning up, he’ll even put a wet rag on your head and consistently check your temperature. He’ll make sure that you have everything that you need before heading back to Vagastrom. No amount of teasing from Leo will stop him from looking after you.
Summary: Linette has always been a sweet, quiet girl. She keeps to herself and does her best to take care of others. Unfortunately, not all favors are returned.
Author’s note: my first original work! Please support me by interacting and giving feedback! Thank you <3
Disclaimer: this story is fiction. It does not reference real people or events.
When people hear an animal’s cries, their first reaction is to make it shut up. Whether it be a dog’s barking, a cat’s meowing, or a bird's chirping, it doesn’t matter how loud they're being, nor how insistent they are. If the humans can't detect what the animal is warning them about, it will be assumed that said danger does not exist. It's just an animal, after all. It doesn't know anything.
“Hurry up, Linette!” Theron calls from down the street. I always feel bad leaving the dogs alone every day, but if I don't make haste, I’ll get left behind!
Theron is an old family friend that I’ve known since I was young. He lives a couple houses down, and since we’re going to the same school this year, he agreed to drive me. I throw myself and my backpack into the passenger's seat. His other friend is already in the back. The car turns away from our street as Theron and his friend talk and make jokes with each other. I don't have anything to add to it, so I stayed quiet and checked my phone.
Making new friends is a little difficult for someone as shy as myself, but I always like to try my best! I love making friends. They're so fun to have around, and I always enjoy spending time with them and hearing what they have to say.
I wish I could talk to people as easily as he does. That’d make my life so much easier! But every time I try, my heart races and I get all sweaty. It's so embarrassing! People probably think I'm a real big weirdo. It's understandable if they do, if I make them uncomfortable, or if they just don't want to be around me, but I think I could make a million times more friends if I were a bit better at it!
As the car pulls into the school’s parking lot, I give myself a little hug and take a deep breath, knowing the anxiety already is creeping into my face. Today is another day, and another chance to be better! I'm gonna make as many friends as I can!
—~
The not so distance of chattering fills the halls every chance it gets. It's loud, but not hostile, so I think I'm okay with it. I trot along my path, lagging a couple steps behind my friends. There's not enough space here for all three of us to walk next to each other. Plus, I don't know anything about what they're saying, so I can't be a part of the conversation. I don't play any sports, haha!
We separate and I wave a quick goodbye. My head goes back down, but lifts every time I spot someone else I know. I love being around so many people! Everyone has such a unique voice and face. I could listen to them all day! I'm so lucky I have so many friends to listen to.
I love doing my best for my friends. I love seeing people smile and laugh. It makes me happy too! I made my friends smile all day today with jokes and cuteness! One of my friends was sad today, but that’s okay! I helped them feel happy again. Another friend was hungry, but that's okay! I always carry snacks around just in case.
The last bell of the day rang and I skittered on back to the car. Can't be late now, can we? Theron and his friends are really happy today. I'm so glad! I like Theron best when he’s happy, because he includes me in their fun sometimes! It's all so much fun!
I had to sit in the back this time because one of his friends wanted my seat. It's okay! I don't mind being a little bit behind if it makes it easier for them to chat and have fun. I'm just going to be on my phone anyways, so it doesn't matter. Today was really great, and tomorrow will be too!
I learned today that one of the new friends I just made is also friends with Theron. That's so cool! Maybe I can learn more about him so we can be friends too! I'm so happy today. I've always wanted to be friends with Theron.
He described Theron as a good person. Wowie!
—~
Singing makes me happy. Music is so cool! Even so, I have to be careful in case Theron is sleeping next door. My room is adjacent to the guest room, which Theron hangs out in when his parents are working late. I lean my head against the wall, humming along joyfully with a blanket over my mouth. Hopefully that'll—
BANG!!! BANG!!! BANG!!!
I jump. My body is shaking. I take off my headphones and stare at the door. Was that Theron? Did he bang on the door? I- I thought I was being quiet enough… He didn't say anything, did he? Maybe he told me to be quiet but I didn't hear him. I don't know. I'm scared.
A couple minutes pass and he still hasn't said anything to me about being quiet. Maybe it was a mistake? Sometimes I hit the wall by accident… Yeah, it was probably a mistake. Still, I'm filled with dread. I pull out my camera app just in case. Surely he wouldn't do anything, but it makes me feel a little better. If he wants me to stop doing something he can just ask, hehe! Humming does ease my stress, after all, so I'll just—
—~
Father finally agreed to install a lock on my door. I'm getting new headphones, too! The old ones are a little uncomfortable now, so I'm glad they're getting replaced! I gotta go back to school again this morning, and it'll all get fixed by the time I get home. I won't have to worry anymore!
Smile! Smiillleeee!! Smile for your friends! Today is another amazing day! Today is another day to have fun!
“Oh, I hit my arm on the corner of the counter yesterday,” I laughed nervously. “I'm pretty clumsy.”
“Yeah, same here. I swear, bruises just appear out of nowhere!” She agreed. “I don't usually need bandaids for it though. It heals fine if you leave it alone.”
I squeezed my hands into fists as I chased the subject. It's normal to get injured from time to time! Arguments are normal too. He was just in a bad mood that day. He didn't mean anything by it, I'm sure! Today is a happy day! I'm not about to let it be ruined by something that happened yesterday, that's just silly!
Plus, Father always says it's not good to talk bad about someone behind their back. It'll give the wrong impression if I only tell them about all the bad things he's done. He’s not a bad person! It would ruin his reputation, then he wouldn't have any more friends. That’d be so sad. I think everyone should have friends so they can be happy!
Theron has a lot of friends, and they all think he's a good person. They're good people too! Theron should keep those friends, they're good friends! They don't have to know what he did.
—~
The camera is pointed towards the door. My voice comes in for a moment, asking what he's doing. I told him I was recording, but he didn't care. He had a pipe in his hands, one he had asked Father to buy him for crafts. The pipe was as long as I was tall. He said he hates me. The camera is wobbling. The screen goes dark as it hits the floor. It picks up sounds. Until everything stops.
There's three more minutes on the recording. I could turn the volume up, but I don't need to. I don't care to listen to myself cry. If I did, I could rewatch any of the other videos.
I don't understand what I did wrong. He never told me. Maybe it's one of those things I'm supposed to figure out on my own, but for as long as I've tried, nothing has changed. Maybe I'm just too stupid. I bet I could fix things if I were a little better at knowing what people want.
Father didn't care when I sent this to him. The lock on my door is a result of his annoyance, not his care for my safety. I doubt anyone else would care either.
Some of these are a few years old now. Nobody would care about them. I should stop holding onto them. I need to stop. I need to give him some grace. He didn't mean any of it. I'm just being dramatic, holding onto grudges from so long ago. He was just in a bad mood. It doesn't say anything about him. I just did something bad that day. It didn't mean anything. He didn't mean anything by it, I'm sure! Today is a happy day! I have a lock now.
Tap. Tap. No more of that. It's useless to keep. It's useless. I don't even know why I took those videos. It's not serious. All siblings get into fights. Mother used to tell me about how she and her siblings fought so much worse. Scrolling through my phone, I can find no contacts who would muse my disdain towards silly thing. The bed creaks as I roll over, and I tune my ears for the sound of Theron’s door just in case. Nothing. I'm okay.
I turn on my flashlight and examine the wound on my hand. The damaged chunk is slightly paler than the rest of my skin. It looks like it's about to fall off. I press my thumb against it and watch it move in and out of its place. Each push causes a spark of pain, but I find it hard to care. I’m mesmerized by it. I lift the chunk ever so slightly, hoping to see what it looks like on the inside. The reflection of my flashlight on the blood blocks my vision. I lift it further.
The blood starts to drip down my hand, startling me. I snap back to reality. I have to get this bandaged and put ointment on it so it heals properly. I shouldn't tear my skin any further. Yes, that's what I'm supposed to be doing.
Even through the bandaid, my thumb unconsciously presses against the wound, again and again and again.
—~
Theron doesn't remember any of the things he's done to me. If I bring it up, he'll accuse me of making shit up. I wish I could forget as easily as he does. That would make my life easier. Then I wouldn't get this tightness in my chest every time someone mentions him. I'll be guilt free, just like him.
Today, one of his friends claimed she was “basically just him but worse.” I forced myself to laugh it off. It's no use trying to tell people. They never take it well. It makes me wonder if she would still be saying that if she knew. I wonder, if I still had the proof, would she believe me then? I know she won't, but it's a nice thought, having someone care about me.
I think a couple of times, people have pretended to, but nobody keeps their word. I've heard all the promises you can imagine, from loving me forever to fending off people who hurt me. It never goes anywhere. They just like to say it because it makes them sound thoughtful, then give it up when it's no longer fulfilling.
All human beings are selfish. They won't do anything that they don't deem “worth it.” And if they do something that isn't socially supposed to be “worth it,” they'll justify themselves beyond logic until it is. If they see someone else doing this, how much they justify is a mix of how much they like the person and how much they can relate to them.
Everybody likes to pretend to be unbiased, that their judgement is the correct one. They all think they get a say in good or bad, right or wrong, deserved or undeserved. They don't listen to what’s going on around them, they don't care about the bigger picture, don't truly listen to themselves or anyone else. It's just about what makes them feel good about themselves.
For example, did you know that miners used to use what’s called a canary recusitator to detect toxic gasses? Canaries are sensitive, fragile birds, so they're the first to collapse from carbon monoxide poisoning when the miners were underground for too long. They'd see this as their sign to leave, then revive the canary and do it all again. They felt bad for the canary, apparently, which was what led to this invention. Not the most logical plan of action, is it? The canary will still eventually die for those humans’ sakes.
Why would you subject a canary to such a thing to begin with? Why bring it from its life and its home to a place not meant for it? Why would you ignore its cries? And why, after all of that, would you pretend that its life mattered to you? Truly, such contradictions should not have gone without question for so long. The only difference between using a canary with or without the resuscitator is convenience, not empathy. Humans don't give a shit about anything they perceive as beneath them.
—~
I have a good life. I have nothing to complain about. Both my mother and father love me. They make good money and we go on vacation once or more per year. I have scars, but they were all accidents. They're all starting to fade.
When they're gone, will there be any more evidence of my suffering? There isn't enough as it is. I don't deserve to feel the way that I do, it's all so selfish of me to complain about my situation when others have it worse. But I don't want to lose what I have. I want there to be something to show for it. I need there to be some kind of proof of what I went through, otherwise it was all for nothing.
I pick at the scar on my right elbow, my nail pressing against my skin as it goes back and forth over the small, uneven bumps. It's a lot smaller than it used to be, back when I first got it some years ago. We never told mom and dad where it was from; I don't think they even asked. It's hardly noticeable now, same with the rest of them.
Sometimes I wish something would hurt me really bad. I wish something horrible would happen to me. It's moronic and ignorant of me, I'm well aware, but I can't help but think about it. Dream about it. I can't help but cross streets without looking, can't help but be tempted by drugs and alcohol and ignore suspicious figures around me. I know none of that will ever happen. I'm a good kid living a good life. There's no reason for any of that to happen. I'm a protected little princess that's never seen any harm, I'm not going to end up like that.
I have a utility knife in my bedroom drawer. It has a screw driver, a bottle opener, a nail file, tweezers, and obviously, a knife. It's small and delicate, so very thin. So very sharp. If I put it somewhere out of first glance, it'll go unnoticed. But maybe, if someone is paying attention, maybe they'll know. Maybe I won't have to prove myself anymore.
As I hold the blade to my skin, I can only hope this doesn't hurt. I press it up against the old scar, but it's not enough to cut. I have to slice. I have to do this. I need to. But at the same time, I don't want to be in pain again. My hands are shaking. I don't want to. I don't want to.
I close it and squeeze it in my hands, falling to my knees. I hug my legs against my chest, tears forming in my eyes. God, I'm so fucking weak. I can't even do this much. I've been through pain more times then I can count, why can't I just endure it one more time? I'm a piece of shit, a hypocritical loser. All of that wishing, all of that hoping, but no results. Fuck this.
I slap a bandaid on it anyways, just because. I'm such an attention seeker, but fuck if I can't even do this much.
Just then, the lights flicked on and mother walked into the room, immediately saying some shit about the mess. I rushed to set the knife down and wipe my face. She’s too busy yapping about the clothes on the floor to notice, or so I thought.
She went around the room just to point out everything wrong with it, when her eyes happened upon the knife. She paused for a moment, grabbed it, and looked at me. I held my breath, waiting for her to say something.
When she finally opens her mouth, my chest feels like it's about to explode. The first words reach my ears, and it's—
“What the hell do you think you're doing with this?” She scolds, pausing slightly between words. “Listen, young lady. This is absolutely not allowed in my house. If you do this again, I'll throw you out on the streets, is that clear? As long as you live under this roof, this is unacceptable.”
My jaw fell open. Did I… hear that right? I stare blankly at her, unable to speak.
“Answer me! Do you or do you not understand?!” She raised her voice. I nodded, the motion small and slow, closer to lowering my head than nodding. “Good. Now clean your damn room.”
She stomped away, leaving me alone.
—~
I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying I'm not lying
I know there's no proof, but why won't you listen? Do you really think I'd just make everything up? I'm not lying I swear! I'm telling the truth, so please just listen to me. I know there's no reason for you to believe me, but won't you at least just hear me out? Won't you at least try and help me? I'm not lying, please! I don't care if there's nothing that can be done, I don't care if you can't help me, just please, listen! I'm begging you. Someone, anyone, give me a sign that you hear what I'm saying. I just want you to know, that's all I'm asking!
I haven't played the piano in years. I freeze whenever someone raises a hand to me. I don't know how to cry or scream or shout or sing anymore. I'm scared to talk to anyone about this. Every time I try, I feel my heart squeezing itself in my ribs. I feel weak. I feel useless.
I don't have a voice to speak with, but I'm yelling as loud as I can. I don't care who might hate me for this, I just want to be heard! Even now, just writing, I can feel it. My hands are shaking and each letter is unsteady and smudged. My back is hunched, my hair falling over my shoulders because I don't even feel safe here, in my own home and I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared please, please just listen to me.
What else do I have to do to be heard? What measures do I have to take? I'll do it all if it means I can get some relief, enough to release the tension in my throat and give me back my voice. As long as I can make someone listen. I'll do anything, just please.
—~
Theron is an impatient person. He doesn't like to wait, and he doesn't like to give things grace. It's not that he doesn't have enough time, he just won't use it on anyone but himself. When the scenario is flipped, he hates being rushed, even if he's 10x more late than others have to be for him to leave them behind, which is usually is. I don't really understand him, he’s never given a clear explanation beyond telling me to fuck off and being passive aggressive until he forgets about it some hours later.
Theron is stubborn and narrow minded. I have tried to understand him on several occasions, defend him to my parents and his, and been patent with him. We talk sometimes, when he's calm. His voice turns sour whenever something I say is slightly off from what he thinks is true, and he never believes a word I say. He sees me as stupid and oblivious, not at all worth listening to. I miss obvious things a lot, so it's not that I disagree with this perception of me. I understand that much. Except, he also misses the same things, with the addition of jumping to conclusions and sticking to whichever side he sees first. He won't give it more than a millisecond of thought. If proven wrong, he will likely pretend nothing happened. He will not apologize for the actions made under said false assumption, and the tension sticks to him for hours afterwards.
I am not sure what Theron expects of me. I just know that the second I cross whatever line he's drawn that day, even by a centimeter or with something as trivial as a verbal misunderstanding, I am no longer safe.
I have not heard of him doing anything bad to other people. Or, nothing that others have found it worthwhile to mention to me. I've seen several signs of it, which worries me, but I guess he’ll only do what he knows he can get away with. Nonetheless, it worries me. If he hurts someone, what will happen? I don't want anyone to get hurt. I want everyone to be healthy and happy. What should I do? His friends trust him more than me, so I doubt they'd believe me. I’ll keep an eye out, but someone like me can't actually do anything in the end, can I? One can only hope all will end well.
—~
There are so, so many stars in the sky. I couldn't count them all if I tried, much less learn about them all individually. Some would have to take priority over others. The sun, for example, is closest to us, so it'd be a good place to start.
I wish I were somebody’s priority. Maybe if I were a little closer to someone, it might've given me a chance. I wonder what it's like to be close to people like that. No matter how much I try, I don't ever get to be someone's priority. Someone always comes before me.
I'm not sure what to do with myself anymore. I don't want to be here, but there's nowhere else to go. If I run away, what next? I'll only be. More alone. But if I stay, what else is he going to do? I don't want to be around when he gets angry again. Can nothing else be done?
I think I should try one more time, at least. That way, no one can say I didn't.
Hi! How's it going? :D
I press send. There's no immediate response, so I message a few other people, all with the same line. I don't want to be a burden, so I might as well check up on them too.
I wait. No responses still. My head hurts. I want this to be over with quickly. I scavenged for a box of painkillers. Once I have it, I tuck myself back into bed and take one. My phone dings.
ngl im in hell rn
Huh. Should've expected that.
What's up? Anything I can help with? I'm always here if you need me :)
ok so yk that girl I told u abt
she lwk pmo
What happened?
I… don't really want to have this conversation. I already know my friend is in the wrong again. I watch the messages flood my phone one by one, each horribly typed and horribly ignorant. She keeps talking, not even bothering to ask me about myself or give me a chance to speak.
Is this all I'm good for? My phone falls out of my hands and I stare at the walls in front of me. I can't take it anymore. It's so selfish of me to do these things but I just can't help it. Fuck, I'm getting out of control again.
I sit up straight and pinch myself. I've gotta stop doing this shit. I started this, so I have to deal with it. I unlock my phone again and skim over the last few messages.
hello? r u there?
don't leave me on delivered
girl istg
Sorry, my parents almost caught me.
smh
as I was SAYING
come w me to the party this wknd
Huh? Why?
wdym y
idw go by myself
Okay. Send over the details and I'll meet you there!
omg ur such a lifesaver
ty
I sighed to myself and turned off my phone. I'll read the rest of it later. I'm tired as shit right now.
—~
After dragging me around for 30 minutes, she was quick to discard me the first chance she got. I freaked out as soon as she ran off, but decided to let her go after seeing her new company. Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew. I migrated to the backyard, nearly tripping in my heels. I tugged repeatedly at my skirt, shivering about from the cold and the lustful eyes in my peripheral.
As a trade off for being moderately quieter, the patio reeked of cigarettes. I sat myself down in a corner, messing with my phone. I have no business here, but with my back to the wall, at least no one can stare at it.
“Linette? Is that you?” A voice called from my side. I looked up, finding friendly but dilated eyes. His words were slurred. “Never thought I'd see you here! Whaddup?”
“Nothing much. What about you?” I smiled politely. He was right, I absolutely do not belong here. I want to leave.
“Im not gonna lie here dude, I don't know,” he said, suddenly glum as he sat beside me. “I'm addicted as hell. Don't even like this shit, just use it cuz I gotta. I don't wanna do all this.”
I turn to face him. “Do what?”
“Everything. Alcohol, drugs, cigs, I done it all so much without batting an eye,” he said softly. “My girlfriend broke up with me cuz of it, and it got me thinking. I don't want any of this. But here I am again, at this stupid fucking party getting drunk and high like an asshole.”
I put my hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it'll be okay. If you want, we can—”
“Wait, don't tell me you're taking that stuff too!” He shot up suddenly, making me jump. “You ain't the type. You ain't like me. Don't do it, Linette, don't do it!”
Huh? Huh??? I started to laugh, relief collapsing my muscles. “Of course I'm not. I'm here for a friend, just in case something goes wrong.”
“Ah! Had me worried there.” He gave an approving smile and patted my head. “You're so responsible.”
He fished a thing of pills out of his pocket and tossed it into my lap.
“You keep 'em. I don't want them anymore. I'm going home,” he said with certainty, and stumbled off.
—~
People joke about killing themselves far too often. I cannot devote my time to checking in on every individual who does so, and certainly do not have the energy to do so in depth. What a disheartening thing to become commonplace.
Lately, it has been infecting me. I find myself considering it on the regular. I am painfully aware that it would be as pointless as it is selfish, but it's there in the back of my head until I rot.
I'm curious, what would happen if I really did do it? How would everybody react? How long would it take before I am forgotten again? What will change? Will people have regrets? Will they show up at my funeral and give their halfhearted memories of me?
Something leads me to believe I wouldn't appreciate how my name is presented after the fact. Nobody cares about who I am. It's only when I follow the shape of their mold that it matters that I exist. Anything extra will be scraped off the edges and tossed away, as it deserves to be. I'm hardly someone worth grieving.
I think myself a bird with clipped wings some nights, when I look out the window in my room. If I take the leap regardless, will I laugh as I fall? Or will I merely feel my heart drop first and allow my soul to sink beyond the floor?
I hardly know what I'm saying at this point. None of this makes sense to me. It's as if the act of tiredly laying my head on this book has spilled my nonsensical thoughts onto its pages. If I'm doing all of this, I might as well go off and chase a timely white rabbit.
Indulge my senselessness, if you may, and I will ask you one more thing. Where do you lie within the unholy “Other”? Do you frequent this resting place or pretend not to?
Perhaps I am wasting your time. You might as well find yourself senseless as I before attempting an answer. Though, you might find yourself senseless to have happened upon an odd bird’s nest to begin with.
If I were to commit suicide, I would have no need to give away my belongings or write letters of goodbye. Not openly, at least. It is hardly worth the effort or consideration, and I do not care to leave a mark of my existence. I only wish for some peace and quiet once I pass, and not to be held back by silly fools who never knew me enough to put the right flowers by my stone.
I am tired. I want to sleep forever.
—~
I stopped talking to everyone. I got tired of it, so I'm not going to do it anymore. No texting first, and no responding to any messages. I'll keep to myself at school, too. We’ll see how long it takes for them to notice. We’ll see how much they care.
Everything feels so much slower now. It's like a muddy haze has fallen over me, making everything around me feel collapse on itself, kicking up a dust storm. Looking at it now, it's hard to believe these things once had color. It's hard to believe I used to get freaked out over how much people liked me. But then again, the color might’ve just been my imagination.
My body feels heavy. I don't want to get up or move around, even though I know I should. I've been scrolling through the internet for hours, I think. It's hard to tell how much time has passed.
I have to do homework and eat dinner, but . I don't want to. Mother and father have likely eaten without me by now, and are in their room. Theron isn't visiting today, he has something to do at school. The house is pretty empty, then. I won't run into anyone downstairs, but still. It's so hard to get up.
My phone slips from my hand and I snuggle up against my blankets. It's warm. I should probably stop sleeping on the floor. My room is a mess, but it's an incredibly soft mess, my stuffed animals becoming makeshift pillows and a couple clean shirts draped over my shoulders.
My eyes fall closed for a minute, but I'm awake again soon. Shame is leaking from my stomach. My very empty stomach. I reach over to my bag and dig around for extra snacks. I find none, but the old bottle catches my attention. It shouldn't be on my mind, but it is. I'm tired. I could use a little something.
…
It tastes slightly sweet. I don't think I'm supposed to take many, so I close the bottle and shove it beneath the pile.
Huh. That's interesting. There's a funny little bug squirming around on the carpet. Look at this little fucker. It's got so many legs, but it's still so damn slow. Kinda feel bad for the little guy.
I pick it up, pinching its tail with two fingers. It wriggles around aimlessly, like it ain't got no noggin. I wish I were a little bug. Then I'd just be chilling on someone's carpet like this guy, and instead of having a bunch of stupid friends, I'd have a shit ton of legs. These legs don't even need boots, and I'd bet he doesn't know what socks are. That's rad, I tell you.
I carry it to the toilet and plop it in. I watch it get flushed down, water carrying it all the way, I mutter a soft “weee” to myself as it goes. Looks fun, like a huge ass water slide. I hope the little guy can swim, but he doesn't look like he's any good at keeping his arms and legs crossed on the way down. Might get hurt.
Welp, that's his own doing. I flush down a bit of toilet paper for him to use as a boat if he needs it, then go wash my hands. The faucet’s got all these little things going on with it. It's so neat. I wonder where the water comes from. Maybe if it runs long enough I'll see the little guy pop up again. Wait, but this thing’s got a filter at the tip. I pick at it but it won't budge, so I leave the sink alone. Don't want him to get stuck in there and die, that'd be pretty sad.
Haha, this is nice.
—~
No one.
No responses.
No calls, no texts, nothing.
Nobody.
Not a single one.
After everything I've done?
Really?
What did I do wrong?
Nobody cares about me.
No one.
What did I do to deserve this?
Where did I mess up?
What do I have to change?
What do I have to do differently?
I made everybody happy, didn't I?
Wasn't that enough?
Aren't my efforts enough?
I need
Somebody
Help me, please.
Somebody, give me a sign that I'm not unwanted.
Hello?
Anybody?
I need
Help.
I need
Something.
Anything.
…
I dig through the pile of laundry on my floor. Nothing. More digging. Nothing. More.
Oh, thank god.
It's still here.
I pop open the lid and flip the bottle over my hand. I dump them all into my mouth, swallowing everything at once. It makes a lump in my throat, but I keep swallowing until they're all down.
Relief washes over me. It feels so, so much better. My stuffed animal is smiling at me, that little sucker. See? I'm not alone. I'm not alone at all! I'm right here with my fluffy friends who will always be by my side.
I lift one up and squeeze it in my hands. Its face looks so funny, all fucked up like that. I stretch it. It's like playing with a ball of mochi.
I squish it against my face. So fuzzy and cute. I love these little shits. I put them all in one big pile on the floor and slam my face right back into it. That way, none of us are alone or forgotten. We can all be best friends and stay together until the very end. Nobody's gonna be unhappy when I'm around!
So snuggly. I feel like going to sleep with everyone here.
My body feels heavy again, but it's a different kind of heavy. It feels good, melty, like I'm at one of those fancy spas or some shit. Man, gotta visit one of those someday. That'd be real great. I could bring my stuffies with me too.
I pick one up at random. It's a little bird with beady eyes that reflect the moonlight from the window. What a pretty little guy. I hold it up by its wings and shake it around so it looks like they're flapping. It looks so silly. I wish it could fly for realsies.
Giggling uncontrollably, I throw it up at the ceiling. It falls back down. “That's not how you do it. You gotta flap ‘em! Fly, little guy, fly!”
I throw it up several more times, but the result doesn't change. He still doesn't seem to get it, so I give him a nice scolding.
“You gotta move those wings, little buddy, otherwise you're gonna keep falling.” It doesn't answer. I look into its shimmery little eyes. “Aw, don't look at me like that. You tried your best, you don't gotta fly just yet. Sorry little guy. I still love you, okay?”
I hug it in my arms and pet its little head. Poor thing. Can't even do the one thing it's gotta.
When I wake up, I'll make them all a nice little house. Something better than the floor. And I'll be their friend forever and ever. Maybe I could learn to fly, too.
go onto pinterest and select the first image the pops up when you search the following: breakfast, weather, drink, jewellery, quote, hobby, clothes, house, car
thank you sm @nervoushottee for tagging me! i love you 🤎
erm the outfit is pretty accurate but I am a gold jewellery person (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟother than that pretty accurate (also, I’m not a huge fan of this architectural style but whatever!)
once again, this is so lovely cobra! thank you for tagging me!🫶 I love that when Pinterest doesn’t know what I like, it’ll show me a photo of that category but ✨organised✨it’s a pretty accurate board!
npt: @satorella @natsuki208 @strawberrywafersstuff @sweetlokum @annawayne @burnt-venus @abiatackerman @levis-poison-is-my-medicine @this-is-krikkit @eleuthreomaniaaa @wersary369 and whoever wants to join!
Thank you for the tag @itsnathateasy <3 This is such a cute idea!
I hadn’t been on my Pinterest for like… ten years, so this probably turned out rather basic, lol. The hobby part is accurate, though, as is the weather – rainy and gray is pretty standard where I live, as much as I wish we had more sunshine haha. And the breakfast looks super delicious (I’m kinda hungry now, ngl)
No pressure tags: @theremainsof @titanloveraaaaa @xmads-omensx and anyone else who wants to do this <3
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Lovely Bunny is finally finished!
This is my first work, and it,,,,,, certainly is a hell of a debut???? If you love gore, non sexual romance, complex lore, etc, give this short, two chapter story a try! I'll be waiting to hear your feedback!^^
Summary:Time is almost up in Darkwick, and I doesn’t want to leave with regrets. There's something I have to do.
This is first person of an OC but their name is never mentioned so you can treat it as an x reader if you want.
hiiii,,, weird ass requester back again with a questionable idea (I am very much enjoying myself) (I have no regrets and refuse to take back anything I say))
This time, may I ask what would happen if the ghouls said / did something MC doesn't like (I personally don't like when people make comments about my body but use whatever seems best) and they respond with "I'm gonna neuter you" :) in the most deadass tone ever like they're actually gonna do it :) (spoken as someone who just learned how)
I really wanna see this with Vag, Hota, and Sino!! This gonna be FUN :::DDD
Okay that's... (remembers "I have a dick" request) Interesting!!.. But honestly this sounds like something I could actually say when I'm pmsing. Anyways! Hmm not sure what to go with here, I think we'll just leave out what they actually said/did to make more neutral/relatable? If that makes sense?
Alsoo just a small reminder for people requesting to specify which houses you wanna seee (my limit is 2 per post I'm sorryyy) unless you're fine with me choosing! (• ▽ •;)
Well, that's all. Hope you'll like it!
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𝑺𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂 & 𝑯𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒖𝒃𝒊 𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖...
𝑻𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒆𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎
‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹
You like him, of course you do but... When he does/says that one thing you just hate.. it's stronger than you! The words leave your lips, with your face not betraying even a hint of emotion..
Taiga will just laugh it off let's be real. He says the most unhinged shit on a daily basis, so this is just a fun competition for him! Whoever says something that makes Lulu's face contort in disgust more, wins! Come on kitty cat, say something more! You were serious, huh? He'll just ruffle your hair, saying how you need to get bigger claws first. You're cute for trying tho.
The tone of your voice takes Romeo by surprise! He's the one thrown off balance, for once. It doesn't last long though. Who do you think you are, threatening him like that!? Still, he's somewhat impressed you have the guts to talk to him like that... Though he will remind you to speak up clearly against something you dislike, next time. No need to be weird like that. You're also banned from hanging out with Taiga.
I'm not sure if this was a good idea.. because Ritsu has you now sat down, reciting law to you. From memory of course. He looks serious when he explains why throwing threats at someone is pretty much illegal! He started it? What in the world? He said something you didn't like, you say? Looks like law lessons are not the only ones you need. How about he teaches you how to communicate your thoughts properly? You're his partner, after all.
Haku reacts to your words with a hint of teasing. He'll fluster you in fact, all to make you laugh in embarrassment. So you wanna touch him there, hm? Maybe you should see his size first, then decide? It would be a shame, he thinks. After all, he's more than willing to offer you a much more pleasant form of entertainment, if you know what he means. Everything is in your hands. Including his cough cough I need some water
Zenji lets out a loud gasp. Doll, why do your words carry such ill intentions? It does not suit a lady such as yourself! Tell him, what came over you? He did something that upset you? Oh Dear. All you have to do is let him know! There is no need to run to such... barbaric acts. (He's also a ghost but that's besides the point) He'd rather fix his unintentional mistake.
Subaru's eyes widen in horror. Then he goes all red from embarrassment. How much did he have to offend you, for you to say something like that? He apologizes profusely, while also asking you to kindly explain which one of his gestures/words made you so angry. Rest assured it won't happen again. Being the cause of your frustrations is the last thing he wants!
Cat With a Human Face and Brain @shewhodoesntexist - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
