life... sucks

screw me and shucks

[elalmadelmar]

One of the things that’s started troubling me more and more about discourse online, and particularly queer discourse (since that’s what I’m most embedded in) is how restrictive we get about acceptable/unacceptable terms. 

This is something that can and does hurt people within the community. I think it can be a little invisible to those within the online community that our terms, our way of talking about these terms, and the terms we define as outdated or inaccurate, can change very, very quickly. Online discussions, and especially decentralized online discussions like tumblr or twitter that rely on spreading a post through a network of connected individuals rather than a centralized discussion space – these don’t reach everyone at the same time. 

Why is this bothering me?  I recently wound up in a discussion about older trans folks who use the term ‘transsexual’ to describe themselves. 

Now, ‘transsexual’ is a depreciated term. It’s not current.  Someone who uses it is probably going to get a side-eye from any queer folks within earshot.  But it’s also an identity term for people who have fought long and hard for their identities. And those people are still here, still with us. Who are we, younger and more online, surrounded by our communities, to tell older trans folks, the ones who didn’t have the internet to answer their questions and connect them with others, who had to risk it all to visit each other in person or forge their way in painful solitude for years or decades, what they can and cannot call themselves? 

I think it’s good that there is online discussion.  I think it’s great that we can continue to refine our language and the way we think about our identity and our community. Adding to the language we have to define ourselves is no bad thing.  

My plea, instead, is that we not subtract from that language. If someone feels that ‘transsexual’ is the term that best describes them, let them have it! If a trans woman feels that “MTF” is the term that most accurately describes her life journey, who am I to crawl up her ass with a lecture about how that language invalidates people who feel they never were their AGAB and don’t have a ‘to’ of any kind?  It’s not about them! She’s talking about herself, and telling her that her own self-chosen term is outdated or even transphobic (!!!!) is bullshit of the highest order. 

The weakness of progressivism is the tendency to turn on each other, and to spend so much time fighting amongst each other over minor details that we lose sight of our goals that, ultimately, align. Fighting over the precise connotations of different terms blinds us to the fight for genuine freedom to be ourselves. 

Terms for the broad community are likewise never going to sit exactly right with the entire community. Some terms are going to be better than others, of course, and get wider acceptance – but there’s no universally accepted, universally identified-with language. We do the best with what we have, and it’s important to remember that not everyone has access to the exact same information – the same tumblr posts, the same twitter feeds, the same subreddits, the same Facebook groups – that you might have seen. And that does not make people who haven’t seen those exact same posts/discussions/etc ignorant, misinformed, or malicious.

We do the best with what we have. Language is an imperfect tool, and all the more imperfect for its uneven transmission. If a person says “transman” when you feel they should be saying “trans man” – does correcting them further the movement? Does attacking them strengthen our resistance against the legions of people who want to see us crushed down and forced to conform to the M or F slapped on our birth certificates? 

Accept that there is a broad, diverse range of ways to talk about our experiences, our identities, and our struggles. There is no one right way to be trans, no universal lesbian experience, no single bi or pan definition that covers everyone precisely. There is no official measure of gay. 

The language we use matters. But our solidarity matters more. Choose the battles that will advance our freedom, rather than tearing down your siblings in arms.

[ptactwo]

"gnc straight man being called a faggot doesn't experience homophobia" what the fuck are you talking about. there's absolutely no logic in anything like that. we have kids who literally killed themselves because of homophobic abuse in schools and you would dare to tell them it isn't homophobia that killed them because they weren't actually gay? insane. and so fucking cruel

[deadryn]

I need some of y'all to remember this:

Oppression is not dictated by who you are, but by how the oppressor percieves you. You don't have to be a woman to be a victim of misogyny, you don't have to be gay to be a victim of homophobia.

[ti-bae-rius]

Yes, @mrquackman exactly that

Image ID: a comment from user mrquackman which reads “a bullet fired at the wrong person is still a billet fired at someone.” End ID.

[theconcealedweapon]

[damienhaaas]

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[science-junkie]

… and here is a gift for all of us.

[pppeonies]

Do you feel pathetic having to rely on other people to support you? You shouldn’t have had a kid if you can’t support her yourself. It’s honestly sad and irresponsible.

Right

[pppeonies]

Ok honestly i was really defeated about this this morning but like this is fucking bullshit like anon ur literally an asshole who is just shitting on ppl for being poor. Like maybe i shouldn't have had a kid but i was literally 15 years old at the time. I don't owe u any kind of explanation or the time of day bc like u suck obviously but yeah dude this world fucking sucks, especially the US in the middle of a fucking pandemic. I am not pathetic for needing help. I am a single mother who had a child in their teens, i have lived the craziest fucking life with literally the entire system built against me to keep me poor and despite needing help i am proud of how far i have come and where i am today. Needing help does not mean i am pathetic. ANYWAYS if ya'll wanna help me keep my fucking electric on and help me feed my daughter and help me keep a roof over our heads i would literally appreciate it so much. I am applying for assistance programs and foodstamps today but in the meantime i really need money in order to get by. I have to quarantine for 2 weeks because my roommate has covid and any help is appreciated so much. Please reblog if u can't donate.

Venmo: kodamabutts

Cashapp: kodamabutts

Paypal.me/kodamabutts

[pppeonies]

Boosting this bc i still need help!! Pls reblog!!

[pppeonies]

Hi everyone i just need $150 more and then i can pay my electric bill pls help!! If u can't donate pls reblog!!! I wld appreciate u endlessly!!!

[callese]

[khapikat222]

Report Disney, Report Universal, Knotts, the Large Golf Courses.

Report them en mass and force their business behavior to change.

[keeshplay]

[gehayi]

If you want to report water waste by Disney, Nestle, Universal, Palm Springs Golf Course, etc., go here and select “multiple types of waste”, because nothing else actually fits real wasters like them.  (The other nine options are about ratting out your neighbors [7], complaining about cleanliness in hotels [1], or complaining about restaurants serving water unasked [1]. Fuck all of these.) 

“Multiple types of waste” requires a comment, but somehow I don’t think anyone on Tumblr will have any problems sharing their opinion.  In vast detail, if necessary.

You can also take photos of Disney’s, Knotts’, Universal’s, etc. water waste and attach it to the report.

This can be done through desktop or mobile.

Have fun!

[tevanbuckley]

He’s right and he should say it.

[idishido]

I feel like it’s worth bringing up that in 2005, RTD introduced Captain Jack, a heroic, complex bisexual character in to his high profile revival of a beloved family show and had him kiss the male and female deuteragonists.

This was only 2 years after the repeal of Section 28 in England and Wales banning the “promotion of homosexuality” in 2003.

He’s absoloutely right.

[wakewithgiggli]

And 4 years earlier than that, in 1999, he created the fantastic show Queer as Folk, which celebrated the hedonistic lifestyle of a particular gay scene in Manchester, and portrayed a bunch of gay people living normal lives and being normal people. When it comes to bringing queer characters to mainstream success, and showing how they can be normal human people with rich, complex, diverse personalities and loves, there’s no-one better than RTD.

[dailyflicks]

“It felt heavy, it’s a lot of weight to carry. Awakening people that are asleep, you have to deeply understand why they’re asleep and carry that and show compassion to that and move to them from their perspective and awaken them like that. So it’s a lot of thoughts, a lot of things happening. There was a deep, deep, deep, deep weight on me, around me and in me.” - Daniel Kaluuya on portraying Chairman Fred Hampton

JUDAS AND THE BLACK MESSIAH — Dir. Shaka King, 2021.

[spectrumcore]

the pride flag industrial complex

[spectrumcore]

but seriously: thinking about how ppl in the west are OBSESSED with symbols and visual indicators and little markers and acknowledgement of identity as a manifestation of marketing and brand culture & as a product of this particular ‘late’ manifestation of capitalism, and how this has affected how we approach the marginalisation of LGBT people and liberation politics as a result

[libertineangel]

The ever-increasing number of ever more specific flags, the constant arguments and redesigns and all that other bullshit surrounding them has got so ridiculous, I mean I say it all the time that it seems almost completely forgotten that the central point of the communities they were supposed to represent was to unite us by the ways in which we are similarly marginalised, but the endless crap over which specifics people fall under and whether these specific microlabels are perfectly right or you’re an invader for using them and not something almost exactly the same, all this as if it’s the be all and end all of what the community is, it’s a great and terrible example of the signifier eclipsing the signified.

[jennysparksandtheauthority]

Understanding the Johansson/Disney lawsuit thanks to Twitter wisdom…

Here’s part of Disney’s statement…

Yes. They’re excusing a breach of contract over the pandemic. Oh. So righteous.

And because context is everything…

Some say Johansson made a dick move because Disney is “the hands that feeds her”. I wonder if they’d say the same thing if this was Tom Cruise or Robert Downey Jr or some MAN of the likes.

Last, but not least:

I say: good for her. Go after the mouse. Let it all burn if you have to.

✨Slay✨

[sepulchritude]

I’ve cracked the code. Next time you correct someone on your pronouns and they respond with that generally positive but slightly defensive vibe like “oh sorry, I’m new to this so it’ll take me a while” just hit em with one of these:

“No worries, I’m practicing at reminding people and you seem like a safe person to practice with”

Boom. Took the perceived blame off their shoulders and made the connection for them that being corrected = being trusted. Rinse and repeat. It’s also not a lie, correcting people on my pronouns is stressful and personally I really am super cautious about it

I figure some angry people will jump into the notes on this one so let me clarify: trans people do not have to be nice or coddle cis feelings. Some of us like living low-conflict lives though, so get off our dicks about it

[sepulchritude]

Cis people if you would like to avoid having this interaction in the first place, try “thank you for correcting me”

[afronerdism]

[afronerdism]

I hope y’all understand the racism apparent here and how black women are being expected to conform to the standards of white womanhood in order to be actually classified as women

[squidbroom]

homophobes are not allowed to use computers because the inventor of the computer was gay

[local-chibi-girl]

People think this is just a joke but Alan Turing was the inventor of the computer and his sexuality was illegal in his time (which was not even 100 years ago) and he was arrested. They put him on drugs that destroyed his genius brain and committed suicide a year after being covicted. He was gay and a war hero as well. He helped to break enigma which was a German code that they put all their messages through. He shorted WWII by two years and saved so many lives in the process.

[anticritical-lapis]

Friendly reminder that if not for Alan Turing you wouldn’t be reading this post and we might be ruled by the nazis

[addycted]

The Alan Turing statue on my campus

[beefgameplays-deactivated202105]

wait fuck this is soooooo important always reblog

[sopretty4]

I will never NOT reblog

[paxamericana]

[kineticpenguin]

What a funny way to say “cops blew up neighborhood”

[smitethestate]

It’s been really hilarious to watch the LAPD try to dodge any responsibility for this while the media tries desperately to help them by publishing the most confusing fucking headlines but what really happened is that the cops found and confiscated thousands of pounds of “illegal” fireworks in LA and then decided to take 10 pounds of that, call the press, and make a show of using their new expensive toy, the “total containment” truck that is supposed to be able to take explosions of up to 15 pounds.

So they took the 10 pounds of explosives and their toy truck to a poor Black neighborhood, got reporters there, stuck the explosives inside, and set them off intentionally instead of just defusing them like they did with the other 4,990 pounds of fireworks.

For some reason, likely because something went wrong with their truck which I bet cost the city a shit ton of money, the containment completely failed and the explosion destroyed cars, homes, and injured 17-19 people (I’ve seen different reports with different numbers), a couple of whom were in critical condition but it sounds like everyone survived.

The LAPD then had the audacity to tweet that they didn’t know what caused the explosion when it was them who caused the explosion, intentionally, and we know because they called the media so that everybody could see them do it.

In summary, the LAPD wanted to show off/justify their ridiculous budget but their expensive toy was a dud and so they ended up bombing a poor Black neighborhood (because they would never risk this in a white neighborhood) and don’t want to admit it.

[jesseeisenberggirlfriendofficial]

not to be my grandma but when i say social media is actually the devil i mean it and i find it so sad that there are preteen girls or young teenage girls out there who feel the need to wear a full face of makeup and clothes that typically older girls wear because older teenage girls and young women make up most of their media consumption and shape their beauty ideals and make them forget that they're children. and the worst part is if you point this out and propose that maybe there's something wrong with wearing a full face of makeup and posting thirst traps when you're thirteen those young girls get so defensive and offended as if you criticize them personally, like i know you feel the need to do this and it's all you see, but it's literally not normal.......the women around you who point it out are not "jealous because your eyeliner wing is sharper than theirs" they're worried and scared for you as a child who is very obviously losing their childhood and being convinced to think that you need to grow up and go from 12 to 17 because your media consumption consists solely of older teenagers

[jesseeisenberggirlfriendofficial]

"are you mad because i'm thirteen or because i look better than you at thirteen" i'm mad that you are having a breakdown as a thirteen year old about your forehead wrinkles and refusing to leave the house without a full face of makeup on. at thirteen.

[loumandliker]

this is a bit of a hot take but when it comes to lgbtq identities i don’t think any experience is actually exclusive to any given sexuality/gender

[loumandliker]

trans men have experiences in common with lesbians who have experiences in common with bisexuals who have experiences in common with gay men who have experiences in common with aromantic people who have experiences in common with bisexuals who have experiences in common with asexuals who have experiences in common with lesbians who have experiences in common with gay men who have experiences in common with trans women who have experiences in common with trans men etc etc etc lived experiences are not as cut and dry as “this experience is exclusive to bisexuals” or “this experience is exclusive to lesbians” or “this experience is exclusive to this kind of trans people” because oftentimes queer people are brutalized and affected in the same ways when it comes to interpersonal and legislative experiences. people don’t exist in discrete identity categories that all have unique experiences with no overlap.

[spark-so-floss]

#the point of breaking out of toxic boxes isn't to go invent your own and be just as brutal about them

[great-and-small]

Don’t hate me but I really believe the world would be a better place if pigeons were the ubiquitous avian pet instead of parrots 👀

[fullfrontalbirds]

Soapbox time, sorry to interrupt but it’s something I feel strongly about.

I LOVE birds. Adore them. Obsessed with them. I see a vulture on the side of the road and I squeal because they’re so COOL. I plant honeysuckle outside my window to watch hummingbirds. I spend hours looking at bird photos for this blog. In some circles my name is “Auntie Birdie” and in others “Bird Lady.”

And I am strongly against parrots as pets… even though I own one.

She is a rescue, whose previous owners thought it would be fun and cute. When she was a baby, they adored her. Then she started to grow up, and so did her demands. They couldn’t keep up with having jobs and coming home to a screaming toddler every day, knowing that this was the next 40+ years.

So now I own her, but honestly she owns me. I lament every day that she wasn’t born in the wild with a flock. I am twisted into a pretzel trying to keep her engaged and happy, and it’s a full-time job, and it’s never enough. I love her with every beat of my heart, but I would still rather see her living in the wild where she belongs.

There are some days when she’s using her “oh no I’m lost my flock isn’t here” scream intended to travel through the rainforest… Inside my home… When I’m just a room away… I just think about the average person who wants a parrot, and I wish they knew.

They aren’t pets. They aren’t cute little cuddle things that talk. They aren’t the funny, silly things on YouTube.

They are wild animals that are meant to be flying free and foraging in trees and making nests and screaming as loud as they want as much as they want.

I wholly recognize that there are lots of people like me who dedicate much of their life, time, energy, and money to keeping their parrot happy.

But I also know, for a fact, how many parrots suffer. How many rip out their feathers from anxiety and depression and from being unable to cope with the stress of captivity; instead of a flock and an entire forest or plains or mountain, they now depend on you, in your home.

How many parrots are snatched from the wild to be sold as pets. To be forced to live and breed in small cages so their young can be sold as pets.

How many breeders see them as high value items, a market good. There are good breeders, but there are also breeding mills. There are parrots kept in a garage for the sole purpose of breeding. There are parrots who don’t get to fly, to play, to run around.

So if you really want a parrot, ask yourself this.

Are you ready to have a toddler for the rest of your life? Are you ready to be a parent whose child never grows up, never matures? Are you ready to have a pet that you can’t easily board when you go on vacation?

Are you ready to try to be a substitute for an entire flock, to be a substitute for the wonders of the natural world?

There are so many that are suffering. So many surrendered to rescues. Too many. Way, way too many.

Please think VERY CAREFULLY before buying a parrot, and then please still don’t do it.