Unmitigated Hilarity @shitpostsavant - Tumblr Blog

Some Details about Moi Même and This Blog:

• I SWEAR TO GOD I’M NOT A SPAMBOT—this is a blog made and curated by an honest-to-blorbo real person, so help me plinko horse

• this pinned post right here is a combo of my listed interests, personal info, and DNI-criteria, so please keep this in mind going forward

• I made this Tumblr account so I can de-stress/escape from real-life bullshit and to maybe hobnob with people about shared interests

• this is a pro-LGBTQIA+ Tumblr account, so if you’re a bigot of any sort, please go elsewhere

• while I really enjoy consuming fanart and fanfiction and fiction in general, I don’t support proshipping (so let me be very clear on this: I do not, and NEVER will, advocate or condone or endorse the production or consumption of fictionalized (or real-life) sexual content of minors, or of incest)

• I interact with and reblog from all sorts of Tumblr mutuals/non-mutuals, and I don’t go over every Tumblr-blog I encounter with a fine-tooth comb, so if you see me reblogging from someone who actually advocates or condones or endorses Really Horrible Shit (for more details on that, see the IMPORTANT-section included below), please contact me and let me know (so I can then take appropriate measures, like unfollowing and blocking the purveyor of said Horrible Shit)

• IMPORTANT: there’s NO tolerance for abuse/bullying/punching down on my blog (same goes for aphobia/fascism/homophobia/MAPism/Nazism/racism/pedophilia/SWERFism/TERFism/transphobia/xenophobia—you get the idea)—if you have an issue with what I’m liking or reblogging (or whoever I’m reblogging from), I’d appreciate it a lot more if you respectfully explain what it is that bothers you, rather than automatically jumping to bad-faith conclusions and being nasty and rude about it, plz&thnkz

• I don’t go on Tumblr to get into fights/start shit/harass people, because life is too short, and I have better things to do with my time

• lots of humorous posts and reblogs will be featured on here, with a smidgeon of topics I find interesting or relevant (like comics or current events or food)

• because the tagging function on the mobile-version of Tumblr is fcky, I may add tags to a post or reblog, and then go back and edit/add to them later (apologies to anyone who finds this annoying)… also, my depression and executive dysfunction make it difficult for me to summon the energy to meticulously. label. every. single. post or reblog I make), but I’m trying to be more conscientious about doing this

• HOWEVER, I will try to be conscientious about tagging gifs and videos that have bright, strobe-like lighting and/or rapid-fire movements with: flashing/epilepsy warning/rapid-fire movement/shaky cam

• there may or may not be NSFW stuff on here, so be forewarned (because of this, I’m going to have to politely request that minors don’t interact with this blog)

• I’m trying to maintain a work/life balance atm, so if you try to contact me and I don’t respond in a timely manner, please don’t be upset! I’m probably at work and will try to get back to you as soon as possible

• I may or may not indulge intermittently in absent-minded rambling

• I may or may not use proper capitalization, grammar, and punctuation in my posts or reblogs

• some flavor of autism—with a sprinkling of dyscalculia, dyspraxia, and emotional dysregulation thrown on to enhance the taste

• constantly oscillating between C-PTSD-induced anxiety and executive dysfunction

• old enough to remember the ‘90s

• currently living somewhere in the US

• more info to be added or edited at a later date… maybe

animentality

chillyfeetsteak

krudman

a-sassy-bench

#current events #current events 2024

prokopetz

One of my favourite recurring bits of terminology confusion is folks who've never played Dungeons & Dragons hearing that it has a class called a "monk", and, being aware that D&D's milieu is generically medieval, assuming they must be based on Catholic monks – particularly when you start explaining what the class actually does.

erdariel

honestly it would be hilarious to try and twist the class enough to make a character that works as aesthetically and vibes-wise more catholic monk of some sort

like probably not worth the effort, fuck knows i'm not gonna do it, but it would be funny

prokopetz

The Order of Saint Nicholas the Pugilist.

grahminradarin

Saint Sebastian, patron of athletes, and by extension, boxers

prokopetz

Sebastian is definitely also a solid choice; I tend to go with Nicholas because the specific reason that some Catholics venerate him as the patron saint of pugilists is funny as hell.

hobo-rg

Nicholas (of Myra) is the saint who punched another bishop in the face in the middle of a conference trying to resolve some kind of doctrinal dispute, right? Is that what you're thinking of?

prokopetz

Nicholas of Myra allegedly spent a night in jail at the First Council of Nicaea for decking Arius of Alexandria in the face during a particularly spirited debate concerning the nature of the Trinity, yes; some Christians (unofficially) consider him to be the patron saint of pugilists based on this anecdote.

(From an historical standpoint, the story doesn't show up in the record until centuries after the fact, and there's no evidence that Arius actually attended the First Council of Nicaea anyway, so the entire episode is most likely apocryphal, but so it goes.)

prokopetz

@captoring replied:

this is how i am learning it wasn't based on catholic monks

The D&D monk – at least in its early incarnations – is broadly inspired by Shaolin "fighting monks" as depicted in bad English dubs of Shaw Brothers martial arts films in the 1960s and 1970s, and was originally added to the game because one specific dude in one of the first D&D playtest groups wanted to play as Remo Williams from Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir's The Destroyer.

prokopetz

(Folks in the notes like "well ACTUALLY there were totally militant Christian monks" like, yes, there were, but there are notably few traditional stories about them deflecting arrows with their bare hands and running up walls. Friar Tuck is not customarily depicted shooting energy blasts outta his hands – though perhaps he should be!)

kyanve

And D&D has a class that's based on militant/martial monks anyway.

It's called the Cleric.

axslashel

Or Paladins. The class really has very little to do with the knights of Charles the Great and a lot more in common with the Knights Templars.

prokopetz

Like the monk, the paladin entered D&D because somebody wanted to play as a specific popular media character: Holger Carlsen from Poul Anderson's Three Hearts and Three Lions (1961)*, in this case. That's basically the answer for "why does this weirdly specific character class exist?" nearly every time.

* Also the source of D&D's goofy regenerating trolls, incidentally.

coolclaytony

Bad RPG idea, choose four to six arbitrarily chosen characters from popular media and design an rpg where those are the core archetypes for player characters.

prokopetz

I cannot emphasise strongly enough that what you are describing is literally how most class-based tabletop RPGs worked for the first twenty years of the hobby's existence.

alexilulu

it's how most PBTA hacks work, also, so its also been the last decade+ of the hobby's existence

prokopetz

Depends; in my experience, most Apocalypse Engine games try at least to stick to the same genre when picking popular media characters to turn into character classes, so they're missing the "arbitrarily chosen" part. You don't see a lot of modern games where the main media-characters-turned-class-archetypes are, say, Shinji Ikari, Luke Skywalker, Will Smith's character from Men in Black, and Robocop – old-school class based RPGs were known to do that!

(To anticipate the obvious question, yes, that's a real example. Go check out the English localisation of Tenra Bansho Zero.)

#d&d #history #religion #tabletop rpgs

prokopetz

On the one hand, I'm always up for making fun of New Yorkers. On the other hand, every city I've actually been to has zoned corner stores out of existence – apart from gas station kiosks, I literally have not seen a residential corner store in twenty years – so I kind of get the romanticising bodegas thing.

geeoharee

where do you people buy milk I am so confused by American lifestyles

prokopetz

I'm Canadian, but to answer your question, when you live in a city that doesn't allow (or no longer allows) mixed residential-commercial zoning, and you need some trivial article you can't buy at a gas station kiosk, you drive to the nearest grocery store – which may be kilometres away – for every little thing. This is considered normal.

(For my part, I went to a great deal of trouble to find housing right on the border between a residential zone and a commercial zone, because I don't drive, and living next to a highway is worth having a grocery store in easy walking distance!)

prokopetz

To be 100% fair, there's also been a recent-ish move to reintroduce mixed residential/commercial neighbourhoods in the form of apartment buildings with shops on the ground floor. In practice, however, the owners almost invariably set the ground-floor rent far too high for convenience stores, so you end up with shit like an apartment building whose ground-floor shops consist of eight different orthodontists' offices. Which is great if you need a lot of dental work, I suppose!

#neighborhoods

patrocles

maggierobots

That's it. That's the dream. I'm almost mad that that's the dream.

fuckyeahsnackables

That's half the dream. The other half is being fairie fucking godmother to everyone on the planet.

See, I had 100k for a hot minute. Doesn't matter why. But for nearly a calendar year, I picked up the tab every chance I got, i lavished people with gifts, I took a friend to Greece, I paid for healthcare for myself and a few other people, for lawyers to help someone get out of an abusive marriage, Christmas presents for a single mom of 3.

It felt incredible. Just to take away the worry and say, "I've got you." Instacart groceries to a grieving friend of a friend across town. Pay the unexpected car repairs. Gift a young artist a yearlong subscription to Procreate.

That's why I'll never understand billionaires. If you could fix it, if money could actually make even one life better, why would you not do it? Even just for the kick? Hell, i don't care if it feeds your ego. Be Tony Stark, be Superman, idgaf. When you'll never be able to spend all that you have, even if you some up every damn day like it was your job, if you could end world hunger six times over for the price of a social media company, why wouldn't you just DO IT?

I don't have a coherent conclusion to this, except that if I ever meet Jeff Bezos, I'll beat him to death with my bare fists.

#thisthisfckingthis

only-cat-memes

caats

#animals #cats #kids #so cute #funny

gokuchiarts

What is next in the list? ... Oh ... Exactly ... So, I present to you El Gusano Gigante and C-Rex!

#animation #godzilla #godzilla the series #yay

gokuchiarts

For a long time I did not post something of my own here, so I decided to make a small series of artworks dedicated to one of my favorite animated series - "Godzilla: The Series".

So, here you can see the two first-born of this idea - Godzilla himself and his freak clone, Chameleon.

#animation #godzilla #godzilla the series #yay

tangled-shoelace

do you think spawn can get drunk. I think he should be allowed to be absolutely sloshed tbh. That could fix him. probably not but I think he should. giving him a bottle of whiskey or something. it'd be even worse if he drinks like an entire thing and it doesn't do SHIT to him like he's solidly head in hands with an empty bottle of vodka completely sober wailing because he really could use a good drink. Spawniekins ily

I need to draw him holding an empty bottle of vodka like “GOD FUCKING DAMN IT ALL” because it’s not working actually. this is wonderful. genuinely

idk it would probably work differently with how his body functions as a demon. so if he can’t get absolutely smashed he’s just crying and slamming down another shot and crying harder because it’s not working. something is WRONG with this man

#funny #spawn