Sweet.

[beatlesweatles]

Evil Shakespeare be like: MacDeath

[beatlesweatles]

[mrdarcysdadbod]

Okay i know i myself have made jokes on Mr Darcy hating to spend time with Mr. Collins but. I feel like of the two of them Darcy is probably significantly less annoyed than Lizzie by Collins simply bc 1) he never received The most obnoxious proposal in the world from him 2) the combination of Darcy's superior rank and his not being an Elegant Female puts him in a position to just tell Collins to stop talking and probably be thanked for the privilege. Darcy probably just lets him talk for five minutes and then is all "hm. I'd like to meditate on that in silence for a while. Very intriguing." And gets like an hour of peace

[mrdarcysdadbod]

Alternatively Lizzie is just openly blatantly rude to Collins and when he looks at Darcy like are you gonna control your wife?? Darcy just shrugs like. It's her house man I'm not the boss of her.

[hanna-writes]

Personal headcanon is that Darcy just keeps doing what he did the first time Collins approached him, aka suffers in silence for two minutes and then just turns around and leaves without a word, while Collins “feels that he has every reason to be pleased with their conversation”. Once Pemberley and Rosings are back on speaking terms, Lizzy discovers that she can do the same thing without Collins getting butthurt, bc she is after all the niece of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Although tbh, Collins doesn’t bother Lizzy too much, bc even he finds it slightly embarrassing that he once told the future Mrs Darcy that she was never gonna get a better offer than himself. He probably ends up apologising to Mr Darcy for the presumption. “Your choice of wife is most fortuitous, and I would offer my humblest apologies that I once implied, or rather insinuated, that her marriage prospects were not … that she might not look forward to such elevation as she has now been granted in marrying such an esteemed personage as yourself.” Meanwhile Darcy is just standing there like “aPolOgIZe tO LiZZy, noT to mE”

[mrdarcysdadbod]

My own personal headcanons in addition to this are 1) that Collins finds Lizzie and Darcy's marriage DEEPLY suspicious and is bringing peak Weird Little Man energy to his attempts to investigate this mystery and find... Something. He doesn't know what, but something. Maybe Darcy is being blackmailed, or mind controlled. Who's to say. And 2) Darcy finds out about Collins's proposal FROM Collins, leading to a very "you said WHAT to my wife" "well she wasn't your wife at the time" "that is NOT the point sir" kind of exchange. At which point Darcy is no longer able to calmly zone out for the duration of their five minute interactions his chill is gone

[mrdarcysdadbod]

Also having just reread the last like 7 chapters of the book, Darcy fully stops talking to Lady Catherine for MONTHS bc of the way she wrote about Elizabeth i have no doubt that hearing Collins blithely recount his Extremely Impertinent Proposal would have Darcy on the verge of violence. Furthermore, given that Mr. Bennet likes to a. visit Pemberley when he's least expected and b. cause problems on purpose, obviously the way it goes down is that Mr. Bennet, imposing on Darcy's hospitality at the same time as Mr. Collins, casually brings up That Time Collins Almost Married Lizzy, encourages Collins as he digs his own grave recounting the proposal, and then sits back to enjoy the show.

[zombeesknees]

#OH MY GOD   #THE FALLOUT SHOW I NEVER KNEW I WANTED   #'Mr Collins is bothering Mr Darcy at the dining table... what is this?! MR BENNET IS COMING IN WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!!'

[schweetheart]

@marshmallowmcgonagall​

[hortensius-deactivated20240909]

what do you mean Just Standing There Ominously doesn’t count as socializing

[dontmindme-imjustfangirlin]

[dukeofstratford]

[copperbadge]

New definition of gritty reboot: the story is exactly the same, but one main character has been replaced by Gritty.

[princesssarcastia]

#pride & prejudice (via @mylordshesacactus)

[mylordshesacactus]

#but who would be gritty?#darcy’s too obvious so that’s out#elizabeth has phenomenal comedic potential#so does lady catherine de bourgh#NO WAIT I’VE GOT IT:#MRS. BENNET

Jane. All the dialogue about how she’s objectively the prettiest and sweetest sister with the most delicate manners and constitution and has trouble expressing her emotions especially when in love remain 100% unchanged.

Meanwhile, Jane “Gritty” Bennet is in the background of the shot in a 100% period-accurate dress, throwing Mr Collins through a window.

[priscellie]

Pride and Extreme Prejudice

[copperbadge]

The responses to this post just keep getting better. 

[leaveharmony]

@lone-gunwoman-of-the-week

[muffinworry]

Mr. Darcy: You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room.

Meanwhile:

Mr. Bingley: She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Someone please draw this I’m in physical pain

[fine-eyes]

JANE EYRE 2006 _ TEXTPOSTS 

3/?

[30-minute-memes]

Macbeth

[nellygwyn]

I don’t get emotional about literature much, but when I do, it’s over Jane Eyre’s ‘Do you think because I am poor, obscure, plain and little that I am soulless and heartless?’ speech. Charlotte Brontë wrote that for ugly girls everywhere.

[johnjie]

#do you think i am an automaton? a machine without feelings? #and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips? #and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? #do you think because i am poor obscure plain and little that i am soulless and heartless? #you think wrong! #i have as much soul as you and full as much heart #and if god had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth #i would make it as hard for you to leave me as it is for me to leave you #i am not talking to you through the medium of customs #or coventionalities or even of mortal flesh #it is my spirit that addresses your spirit #just as if we had both passed through the grave and we stood at god’s feet equal #as we are!

[ailment-remade-deactivated20210]

i startled her…

[shookethspeare]

CUNT!!!!

[lotusohm]

Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House was published sixty years ago today. The novel begins with one of the best openings I have ever read:

“No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.”

[clownboybebop]

me: to really understand Frankenstein, we have to take into account that Mary Shelley was surrounded by creative men who really didn’t take her seriously, so in addition to sci-fi horror, it can also be read as an exploration of female creative frustration and-

The burglar that broke into my house: bodily autonomy?

me: exactly. Now,

[fieropasto-deactivated20210613]

did Heathcliff effectively utilize girlpower when he came back after years to wreak havoc in the lives of everyone who made him miserable starting with Cathy’s brother

[snapextherapy]

was no one going to tell me that Tolkien did not just invent a language, he invented 3 different version of the language and each have multiple dialects, AND created separate languages for orcs, goblins, and dwarves

[snapextherapy]

WHO SAID THAT HE WAS ALLOWED TO DO THIS

[skatingsplits]

for there is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather; to cheer one on the tedious way, to fetch one if one goes astray, to lift one if one totters down, to strengthen while one stands

[medievalthymes]

you’re laughing. i told you i loved you against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance, and you’re laughing.

[fernsandsunflowers]

If I was Elizabeth Bennet my entire family abandoning me at the dinner table when Mr. Collins requested a private audience would have been my villain origin story.

[fishandbikes]

Idk who needs to hear this but reenacting your trauma isn’t the same thing as healing.