Today is a day where I feel so many things at one time. I think has it really been a year since I’ve last seen you? A year since I’ve heard you laugh, a year since I’ve seen your smile, a year since I’ve felt my heart shatter and never been the same again—has it been that long? I feel as though you never left even though I know your gone. You look at me fondly with a gaze I feel I don’t deserve but then I remember how sad you would be to hear me hurt. I am sorry the world made you hurt. I am sorry that I did not hear you then, I wish I could have hugged you before then. You tell me it is okay. “I believe in you. You’ll be okay.”
In the darkest of moments, where I am at my weakest and my soul is most vulnerable I think about you. I think about you and hear you telling me “It’s okay!”, “You’ve work hard today!”, “Let’s live happily!” And then when there is no strength in me you touch my heart gently and whisper “I’m here. I hear you. I see you. Rest calmly. I’ll protect you.” Many a time you have saved me, back then and now; I wish I would have had the chance to save you.
You who has become my guardian angel, my hope and comfort. I can’t not fully put in words my love for you and everything you are, were, and was without tearing up and screaming at the world “How could you take her away? Take THEM away?” Though we never met you are and forever will be my best friend, my older sister, my peach. Sulli. Choi Jinri. Thank you. I love you and I hope you’re well. Tell Hara and Jonghyun I said hello, and soar as far as you’re able without pain.
I will carry you always.
❤️🍑❤️🍑❤️🍑❤️
