[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

i jjust. peeled an orange while sitting on my bed and noww. i don’t remember where i put the orange peel. 

in this trying time i;d like to set up a kickstarter to find my oran

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

what kind of rat fuck jams pieces of orange peel under a pillow, you ask

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

my conscious brain: mmmnnnmm delicious orange

the neanderthal living in my subconscious: hide the rest from bears 

[rebe83]

late night tumblr is just you and a handful of mutuals sitting around a campfire, and one of you finds something and you all take turns presenting it to each other

[theheadcanonzone]

Similar to how Kravitz is called the Grim Reaper, Lup eventually picks up “the Red Death.” Barry doesn’t get a nickname because there’s nothing intimidating about a middle aged man in blue jeans

–

submitted by Anonymous

[jortsman]

I feel like Barry is especially intimidating in a way because he is so not what you would think is gonna show up for you when you’re committing death crimes, so he’s got that element of surprise.

Like, you’re expecting a threatening apparition to be the harbinger of death, but instead a regular ass dude in dad jeans shows up with a scythe? I would be like the fuck even is this i must have *really* fucked up, someone’s dad is here and he’s armed  

[internationalhouseofblupjeans]

Plus, can you imagine Barry saying “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” to a bounty? Necromancers would rather deal with Lup or Kravitz at that point.

[jortsman]

omg yes, and then launching into a lecture about the consequences of their actions on the natural order of things, but yknow, he had a good reason for it because he only messed with necromancy for his family and let me tell you a little something about family values

[jortsman]

GIANT GLOWING BRAIN WITH THE ENTIRITY OF THE COSMOS SWIRLING INSIDE OF IT: BARRY’S REAPER NAME IS DADDY DEATH

[hotdogpeasant]

What I’m saying is Twitter has become 2012 Tumblr with the “we’re all Twitter gremlins!” And “Twitter has the weirdest people. Like if you’re stuck in hell.” It’s just not supernatural gifs, it’s kpop gifs for everything now. Anyway what I’m asking is when is the Twitter dashcon

[hotdogpeasant]

[enchantingwlw]

[valtsv]

ive never done a days exercise outside of mandatory high school gym class in my life, but i swear to god i could run a marathon and win as long as i was listening to “run boy run” by woodkid the entire time

[valtsv]

yoann lemoine: run boy run! this world is not made for you/ run boy run! they’re trying to catch you!

me:

[unclefather]

All hills are silent if you think about it

[officialcountdooku]

Not the ones alive with the sound of fuckin music, bitch

[unclefather]

Sorry I don’t talk or look at theater kids

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[copperplatescript]

marvel characters who are false advertising

ant-man: he can be ANY SIZE not just ant-sized

cyclops: this fucker has TWO eyes not just one

winter soldier: he is there all year round

wolverine: doesn’t wear a wolverine fursuit. you’d think he was a furry but no he isn’t

[shofarsogood]

Iron Man: suit made out of a gold-titanium alloy

Spider Man: only four limbs, doesn’t shoot web out his butt

[denimsnake]

mr. fantastic: he is awful

[jakemorph]

you are fucking insane if you think griffin mcelroy could ever be described as ‘feral’

[jakemorph]

he literally looks like smooth spongebob

[sewergorilla-deactivated2021101]

Literally everyone on Berk: Hiccup why the hell would you do something so monumentally stupid

Hiccup:

[thoodleoo]

when i die, make sure to bury me with a milkbone so that i can give cerberus a treat when i show up in the underworld

[allofthemliches]

m9 alignment chart featuring the wonderful keg

[glowbat]

i haven’t seen hollis do much other than tell off the pine guard and yet im hopelessly invested in them…

[fatpinocchio]

It should be socially unacceptable to come to work with a cold or similarly contagious disease.

[infraredarmy]

It should be socially unacceptable to make your workers come to work with a cold or similarly contagious disease.

[shoggoth-the-bitch]

It should be socially unacceptable to pay your employees so little that they have no choice but to come in with a cold or similarly contagious disease.

[beyonslayed]

The last two should be legally unacceptable

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

this has already been said before but jojo is such a funny series because it ramps up the strangeness very gradually so by the time you get to the later parts all the really weird shit naturally starts making sense but then you take it out of context and you get sentences like this

[kars-in-space]

Ironically the entirety of jojo can be summed up by just one panel, and it even isn’t that strange

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

My ask for today (27th of February) may have gotten eaten since I haven’t seen it yet but.. I’m so fucking sorry Caesar. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m so so so sorry. - Joseph

[grlbts]