Signed, the Ghost

Feel free to ask me stuff; I tend to just lurk otherwise.

[fuckingrecipes]

question, why do delicious cakes cost so much to bake? okay cakes are cheap, but delicious ones cost like 30-40$ to get non pantry staple ingredients for

Take a cake mix from a box. Betty Crocker, Pillsbury, Duncan Hines, whatever the hell is on-sale.

They usually ask for you to add in some water, some cooking oil, and egg whites. 

Fuck that bullshit. 

Instead, replace water with milk (or buttermilk), use butter instead of oil, and use the whole goddamn egg. Toss in some extra vanilla extract. 

If you want to make it a bit spiced, add in some cinnamon/nutmeg/allspice

Want to make it gently lemony? Zest some lemon peel into the batter. 

Want it extra dense and moist? Add another fucking egg, half a package of vanilla pudding powder mix, and make sure to whip that batter extra hard and long. 

Welcome to rich, moist cakeland, entrance fee: $5

Enjoy impressing your friends. 

[signedtheghost]

I think you just summarized every Cake Doctor cookbook.

[niuniente]

I don’t understand where this need for diverse artistic expression in themes comes from? Like WHY? Why would you need to draw and paint 457495 or even 20 different things? Why can’t you just paint and draw the few things you really like?

Seriously! Let’s see some artists:

Pepe Shimada paints cats with bright colors and from a front or side view. Sometimes there is a polar bear, but 98% of paintings it is a cat.

Maud Lewis painted the same black cats with yellow eyes, countryside landscapes and animals with flat colors.

Boris Groh mainly paints the same gigantic Gashadoguro-like skeleton. He is most well-known for it.

Tetsuo Takahara painted cats looking at you with earthy colors. Sometimes there’s a tiny dog, but 99% are cat pics. 

Mark Rothko painted just squares and rectangles, most often on a single color background. 

Jakub Rozalski paints werewolves, soldiers of the same time line, monsters and mechanical machines again and again. 

Yoshiro Takahashi has made his decades long mangaka  career with dog manga only. He just draws dogs, with the same style, year after year, story after story. 

Yves Klein invented his own blue color (Klein’s Blue) and just used it over and over again.

Miss Monster has made her career out of monster mask, monster items and monster designs. She has worked with Guillermo del Toro. 

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! DO NOT FIGHT AGAINST YOUR FAVE SUBJECTS! DRAW AND PAINT AND SCULPT AND WRITE THE SAME FRIGGING THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND COMES NATURALLY FROM YOU! 

Every artist has their own special genre/style/theme/color palette. Do not try to be 100 different artists at the same time (unless if it your happy calling). Just be you. Unironically paint 56869 birds with green feathers,  make 100 werewolf high school comics, draw dogs with collars, use flat colors, paint clouds.

BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU.

[garnet-xx-rose]

Ok but this makes me feel better because I really just wanna draw black girls, flowers, and make OCs based off Entrapdak

[a-midwinter-night-dream-86]

All. I wanna. Do. Is draw trees, my OCs, and make some fabric.

And if I end up with 56768 cherry trees? Well

[signedtheghost]

Okay, but what if Unapologetically Me wants to make 457495 different things?

[angiethewitch]

my hearing has been aided and holy shit is this how you guys hear all the time

[angiethewitch]

I can hear the birds calling to eachother!! im sat inside my house and I can still hear them!!

[angiethewitch]

my cats purrs are so loud...I never knew how happy he was when I petted him 😭😭

[angiethewitch]

bees have such nice buzzes!!!!!

[angiethewitch]

rustling leaves sound nice. motorbikes do not

[angiethewitch]

I can hear the river running through my village...this world has so many beautiful and amazing sounds

[angiethewitch]

if you rub your hands on a leather sofa. that sounds excellent

[angiethewitch]

gravel sounds fantastic btw. go kick some gravel immediately

[angiethewitch]

CRUNCHY LEAVES

[angiethewitch]

I still can't get over jinx purring. I never knew how happy he was or how much he loves me. he's been purring since I got home, every time I say hi to him. my husband says he's always purring like that, I just never heard it before

[angiethewitch]

thank you @dwiwediblino for suggesting a clicky keyboard. I just tried it out and what a FANTASTIC sound

[adoratato]

Have you heard the pitter patter sound of your cats toes yet? Always enjoy that sound

[angiethewitch]

yes!! when we came home and I called him downstairs for some food I heard him leap off the bed I think and his excited patters down the stairs

[angiethewitch]

food in frying pans really do be sizzling...

[angiethewitch]

the sound of old crinkly book pages oh my GOD I have found my new favourite sound

[angiethewitch]

went down to the village river and it was so nice!! the river is pretty low rn because of the lack of rain but when it rains lots I want to go back and see it go fast and hear it

[angiethewitch]

also! hearing the rustle of grass as I walk through it!

[angiethewitch]

and and and i threw a stone into the water and it made a very satisfying splash sound :)

[intercoursefluids]

What do you think of this noise?

[angiethewitch]

that's such a funny sound I need to get some sheets of metal and laminate some paper immediately omg

[angiethewitch]

popped my hearing aid on when I woke up and just listened to my husband breathe next to me. he's here, I get to wake up next to my best friend every day. he's alive. he loves me.

then he started snoring very loudly and it was even worse with the amplified sound

[angiethewitch]

you guys can hear the ticking of watches?? they're so loud!!

[angiethewitch]

when you light a cigarette and you hear a faint crackle as the dried leaves catch fire. very good.

[angiethewitch]

I was hanging my washing outside and I shook out a pillowcase to hang it up and it made a very good whoosh sound with a slightly sharp crack!

[angiethewitch]

the crackling sound of a candle wick being lit!! what a fun noise!!

[angiethewitch]

a bird landed on the tree branches above my head and I heard it!! I thought birds were silent but theyre not!!

[angiethewitch]

heard my neighbour come home from his daily bike ride and the bike made a clicking sound??? :0

[angiethewitch]

im outside in my garden with my easel doing some painting and I was drawing on the easel and it makes a scratchy noise?! the pencil was scratching! it makes a very good sound indeed!!

[angiethewitch]

all of you who were suggesting a cold drink over some ice...you were all so right for that

[angiethewitch]

sizzling barbecues!! loud and fun!! different foods make different sizzles

[angiethewitch]

I CAN HEAR THUNDER THERES SO MANY DIFFERENT PITCHES TO IT WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWWOW

[angiethewitch]

IT ACTUALLY RUMBLES!!! JUST LIKE IN THE BOOKS!!!!!!

[paper-mario-wiki]

Visit Original Link

[signedtheghost]

I knew the parallel universes would turn out to be a problem.

[thatsbelievable]

[glumshoe]

I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…

The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.

[glumshoe]

Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”

Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”

[glumshoe]

Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”

My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”

[puerto-nic0]

Zombie : “AARRRGH”

Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”

Zombie : “TEETH!!”

[schmergo]

This happened to me.

Scary prison dude: HELLO

Me: Nice to meet you!

Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot

[batsalmighty]

My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that

[tired-wolfe]

Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend?  Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet?  Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).  – Got to walk a second time through–  Same guy: My friends -wailing-  Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh. 

[hoardofhyperfixations]

I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.

Specifically, I remember;

There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.

Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”

I could hear them giggling.

[imanicepersoniswear]

Guy playing Freddie Kruger: Remember, you are all my children!

Me: thanks dad

A small chorus of teenagers: thanks dad

[under-the-arch]

I went to a haunted corn maze once. Someone ran at me with a chainsaw. I just stared at him. He hung his head and walked away. I left.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

The Real Horror Is The People We Dissapointed Along The Way

[sun-flowers-sam-deactivated2019]

IM CRYING

[lizard-business]

My friends and I were in a really dark part of a haunted house and couldn’t find the exit, so the guy who had just jumped out at us had to say “to your left” in his same scary voice he’d used to scream and we were like “thanks!”

And then after a few moments of patting blindly at the wall he says again in the same ominous voice “your other left”

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Proof for that post going something like “surviving the narrative by being such a sweet and goofy little guy that your presence changes the genre”

[ypandaanimation]

First Post! Maybe I’ll be more active here since Twitter went to shit.

Ghost pokemon! I’ll be finishing this project as soon the new game is released! I hope you like it!

Music by the musical ghost!

[penandinkprincess]

i do not at all mean this in a perjorative manner, but i do think it’s important to be able to consume a piece of media and go, “i’m not the audience for this” and be able to just walk away 

there doesn’t have to be something wrong or “problematic” about something for a person to not like it. personal taste is personal taste. but something not doing it for you doesn’t mean it automatically has to be wrong or bad. it’s just not for you. 

[sindri42]

There’s been several times when I’ve watched a thing and been like, they clearly did what they intended to do, and did it well, and I don’t want any part of it. This is a high quality and deeply unpleasant piece of art.

[queenclaudiabrown]

“This is a high quality and deeply unpleasant piece of art” is a wonderful line, I love it, I feel it in my soul

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

too good a take to be left in the tags

[obstinaterixatrix]

Recently, my son said to me after seeing a ballet on television: “It’s beautiful but I don’t like it.” And I thought, Are many grown-ups capable of such a distinction? It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it. Usually, our grown-up thinking is more along the lines of: I don’t like it, so it’s not beautiful. What would it meant to separate those two impressions for art making and for art criticism?

- Sarah Ruhl, 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time To Write

[the-davest-of-uncles]

Jazz. I have a deep respect for the artists who display such mastery of their instruments by turning what’s in their souls into music.

But I don’t wanna hear it.

[signedtheghost]

This is true even to a smaller degree, though. I've been spending some time going through a site for remixes, trying to find music I can listen to on random while working on stuff offline. And while obviously some of the songs are keepers, and others are not to my liking and probably never will be, there are still others that are like 'This is great but does not fit what I'm looking for right now,' or 'Someone else might love this but I just can't get past [X],' or 'I can tell this is well-made, and at another time I might like or even love it, but not now.'

There are songs currently on my computer that I've had for many years now and that I fondly remember listening to many times in the past, which will not be included in the working playlist and which I simply have no interest in listening to right now. They didn't become bad in the intervening time; I'm just not currently in a state to enjoy them.

To make sure I'm being clear, this isn't necessarily a matter of 'growing out of' or into something. The time will come when I settle down to listen to one of those melancholy tracks I've passed over before and let it wash over me and soothe my heartaches, or when I say to myself 'I miss that one song, it was really fun. Lemme go look it up again' and end up enjoying both the song and the memories of the good times it came with. It's just that time isn't now.

Personal taste does differ, not just from one person to another but from one time to another for the same person. This is both okay and not a condemnation of a particular work. The day may come when you decide to give another chance to something you hated a week or a month or a year ago, and while doing so go 'Oh.'

[dazuresky]

Respite

[fx43]

[butchniqabi]

september is apparently suicide awareness/prevention month, so shout out to all the babes who thought they wouldnt still be here, love you all, life is hard but we continue the long walk home

[nevercure]

So what this paint company does is take iron pollution from abandoned mines that are polluting soils and rivers and makes iron based red pigment paints out of it.

Basically they realized hey no one's cleaning this shit up, it's polluting the streams, killing all the fish, making the water undrinkable and there's a huge market for it so why not make money by cleaning it the fuck up?

They remove this stuff by the industrial bucket load from the rivers. The idea is if it's in a painting, if it's in your home, it's not poisoning wildlife.

anyway its cool as shit, please support tf out of these people https://gamblinstore.com/reclaimed-earth-colors-set/

[syro-malabar-baby-deact]

Father: "Son, we have another spot open for the Apostle post. Any preference?"

Jesus: "Hmm maybe someone sweet and and gentle. Who wouldn't hurt a fly, y'know? A soft boy. Another fisherman, perhaps?"

Saul of Tarsus: "DIE you Christians!!!"

Jesus: "I want that one."

[o-lei-o-lai-o-lord]

Saul of Tarsus: “DEATH TO ALL HERETICS! I WILL PERSONALLY WIPE THIS CULT OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND THAT IS A PROMISE! HAD I BEEN THERE AT THE CRUCIFIXION OF THIS FALSE MESSIAH I WOULD HAVE HAMMERED THE NAILS IN MYSELF!”

Jesus:

[shenzi-hemlock]

[zegalba]

Rainbow Eucalyptus trees get their colorful appearance when they shed their bark, starting with bright green patches that gradually transform into orange, maroon, and blue hues

[tradast]

[2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241]

Something something appeals to the male fantasy

[mornington-the-crescent]

[signedtheghost]

Me, a woman, seeing this and grabbing the popcorn: epic fight epic fight epic fight

[teaboot]

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

[fervent-bookwomb]

On it boss!!

[teaboot]

[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, "Yes", "no", "I don't have a card for that", "can't talk right now 😢", and "I have powerful wizard magics 🙂". End id]

[signedtheghost]

I have been blessed with the shelly babbies!

[vgjustice]

I gave you crabs lol

[signedtheghost]

Sir we try to be a family-friendly blog here