
Product Placement

JVL
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Kaledo Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

tannertan36
$LAYYYTER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
DEAR READER
almost home

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
NASA
taylor price

izzy's playlists!

#extradirty
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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pixel skylines
Not today Justin
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@silverukiss
idk about you guys but I think this is the best video to ever exist
posted by: @gekiomi
HIS NAME IS MAMESUKE. THAT’S LIKE CALLING A DOG “BEANBOY”
While bad news and political turmoil were turning everyone against each other, a #CuteAnimalTweetOff erupted, and it was exactly what Twitter needed.
I need to give Gentle Hugs to every single one of these Zoo Friends
M Y HEART
aaaaah
soft boys
As a zoo keeper I can confirm we all think our animals are the best and cutest and will always challenge other keepers XD
teacup what the fuck i just woke up why would you put this rIGHT AT THE TOP OF MY DASH
Ok so I’m crying and you should experience this wonder too
When I was nine, possibly ten, an author came to our school to talk about writing. His name was Hugh Scott, and I doubt he’s known outside of Scotland. And even then I haven’t seen him on many shelves in recent years in Scotland either. But he wrote wonderfully creepy children’s stories, where the supernatural was scary, but it was the mundane that was truly terrifying. At least to little ten year old me. It was Scooby Doo meets Paranormal Activity with a bonny braw Scottish-ness to it that I’d never experienced before.
I remember him as a gangling man with a wiry beard that made him look older than he probably was, and he carried a leather bag filled with paper. He had a pen too that was shaped like a carrot, and he used it to scribble down notes between answering our (frankly disinterested) questions. We had no idea who he was you see, no one had made an effort to introduce us to his books. We were simply told one morning, ‘class 1b, there is an author here to talk to you about writing’, and this you see was our introduction to creative writing. We’d surpassed finger painting and macaroni collages. It was time to attempt Words That Were Untrue.
You could tell from the look on Mrs M’s face she thought it was a waste of time. I remember her sitting off to one side marking papers while this tall man sat down on our ridiculously short chairs, and tried to talk to us about what it meant to tell a story. She wasn’t big on telling stories, Mrs M. She was also one of the teachers who used to take my books away from me because they were “too complicated” for me, despite the fact that I was reading them with both interest and ease. When dad found out he hit the roof. It’s the one and only time he ever showed up to the school when it wasn’t parents night or the school play. After that she just left me alone, but she made it clear to my parents that she resented the fact that a ten year old used words like ‘ubiquitous’ in their essays. Presumably because she had to look it up.
Anyway, Mr Scott, was doing his best to talk to us while Mrs M made scoffing noises from her corner every so often, and you could just tell he was deflating faster than a bouncy castle at a knife sharpening party, so when he asked if any of us had any further questions and no one put their hand up I felt awful. I knew this was not only insulting but also humiliating, even if we were only little children. So I did the only thing I could think of, put my hand up and said “Why do you write?”
I’d always read about characters blinking owlishly, but I’d never actually seen it before. But that’s what he did, peering down at me from behind his wire rim spectacles and dragging tired fingers through his curly beard. I don’t think he expected anyone to ask why he wrote stories. What he wrote about, and where he got his ideas from maybe, and certainly why he wrote about ghosts and other creepy things, but probably not why do you write. And I think he thought perhaps he could have got away with “because it’s fun, and learning is fun, right kids?!”, but part of me will always remember the way the world shifted ever so slightly as it does when something important is about to happen, and this tall streak of a man looked down at me, narrowed his eyes in an assessing manner and said, “Because people told me not to, and words are important.”
I nodded, very seriously in the way children do, and knew this to be a truth. In my limited experience at that point, I knew certain people (with a sidelong glance to Mrs M who was in turn looking at me as though she’d just known it’d be me that type of question) didn’t like fiction. At least certain types of fiction. I knew for instance that Mrs M liked to read Pride and Prejudice on her lunch break but only because it was sensible fiction, about people that could conceivably be real. The idea that one could not relate to a character simply because they had pointy ears or a jet pack had never occurred to me, and the fact that it’s now twenty years later and people are still arguing about the validity of genre fiction is beyond me, but right there in that little moment, I knew something important had just transpired, with my teacher glaring at me, and this man who told stories to live beginning to smile. After that the audience turned into a two person conversation, with gradually more and more of my classmates joining in because suddenly it was fun. Mrs M was pissed and this bedraggled looking man who might have been Santa after some serious dieting, was starting to enjoy himself. As it turned out we had all of his books in our tiny corner library, and in the words of my friend Andrew “hey there’s a giant spider fighting a ghost on this cover! neat!” and the presentation devolved into chaos as we all began reading different books at once and asking questions about each one. “Does she live?”— “What about the talking trees” —“is the ghost evil?” —“can I go to the bathroom, Miss?” —“Wow neat, more spiders!”
After that we were supposed to sit down, quietly (glare glare) and write a short story to show what we had learned from listening to Mr Scott. I wont pretend I wrote anything remotely good, I was ten and all I could come up with was a story about a magic carrot that made you see words in the dark, but Mr Scott seemed to like it. In fact he seemed to like all of them, probably because they were done with such vibrant enthusiasm in defiance of the people who didn’t want us to.
The following year, when I’d moved into Mrs H’s class—the kind of woman that didn’t take away books from children who loved to read and let them write nonsense in the back of their journals provided they got all their work done—a letter arrived to the school, carefully wedged between several copies of a book which was unheard of at the time, by a new author known as J.K. Rowling. Mrs H remarked that it was strange that an author would send copies of books that weren’t even his to a school, but I knew why he’d done it. I knew before Mrs H even read the letter.
Because words are important. Words are magical. They’re powerful. And that power ought to be shared. There’s no petty rivalry between story tellers, although there’s plenty who try to insinuate it. There’s plenty who try to say some words are more valuable than others, that somehow their meaning is more important because of when it was written and by whom. Those are the same people who laud Shakespeare from the heavens but refuse to acknowledge that the quote “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them“ is a dick joke.
And although Mr Scott seems to have faded from public literary consumption, I still think about him. I think about his stories, I think about how he recommended another author and sent copies of her books because he knew our school was a puritan shithole that fought against the Wrong Type of Wordes and would never buy them into the library otherwise. But mostly I think about how he looked at a ten year old like an equal and told her words and important, and people will try to keep you from writing them—so write them anyway.
*sobs for like the umpteenth time this day and reblogs the fuck out of this*
Reblog, Facebook, and sending it to myself so I can always find it…
Book Sale!!!
From right now, until 11:00 pm on Monday, January 15th, print copies of my book, In the Hatred of a Minute and Barefoot Amongst the Thorns are on sale for only $4.99 USD and $3.99 USD, respectively on amazon.com!
In addition to this, the Kindle ebook of In the Hatred in a Minute will be only $.99 from 12 am, Jan. 13th until 11 pm, Jan. 15th! Happy reading!
“We never kneeewwwww…”
Lmaooo I love these
U N M U T E
JUST PRESS PLAY AND UNMUTE THIS YOU WILL THANK ME
X
I’m just here to say, I’ve been in fandoms since internet fandoms were a thing. I’ve been in X Files, Star Wars, anime fandoms, video game fandoms, TV shows, movies, books… I’ve seen every kind if fic there is: We used to call them limes or lemons, hentai, ecchi, there was tentacle fic, there was all kinds of Rule 34 going on everywhere, I mean X FILES, think about that for a sec.
BUT
IN ALL OF MY FANDOM LIFE
I HAVE NEVER SEEN WEIRDER OR MORE CREATIVE SMUT
OR JUST OUTRIGHT BIZARRE SHIT
THAN THE THINGS I SAW IN INCEPTION FANDOM.
And Inception writers were/are good, that’s the thing. I learned about kinks I never even damn heard of, and that shit was so well-written.
Thank you, Inception fandom.
It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.
because everyone needs this now.
THE PUREST THING
Kids work together to create eternal recess
#community
once again, brooklyn 99 is spot-on
What the fuck
I know y’all who are making the joke is gay but this really ain’t funny, it’s kinda fucked to up to joke about lmao
I’m really fucking pissed about this bc so many straight liberals say this same shit so I’m just gonna tell you why this is fucked up, copy pasted from another post I wrote:
First of all, the myth that “all homophobes are secretly gay!” Is a myth that straight people made so they don’t have to feel responsible for the oppression that happen to gay people and to laugh at gay people’s pain.
Second of all, even if a homophobe is “secretly gay uwu” that’s not fucking funny. He’s not a homophobe secretly gay, he’s a gay man who’s suffered and been surrounded by so much homophobia that he’s convinced himself it’s so wrong that he has to hide it and go for other gay men to be seen as acceptable. He hurts himself and gay men in process because of what society has taught him. This does not happen as often as straight people think it does and when it does, it’s not fucking funny, it’s extremely sad.
Pretty much if you laugh at gay men’s pain and can’t see why that’s wrong, you’re not progressive, you’re just a piece of shit.
I disagree. Yes, it’s sad that he spent so much of his life hating himself. I was a very conservative queer person who spent much of my life hating myself for being queer, so I know how much it sucks. However, once I became an adult I started to learn more and change. It was my responsibility to decide how to act now that I had the freedom of an adult to interact with various ideas and see how my actions impacted the world.
Far too often in the conservative world I’ve spent most of my life in, I see people who are not straight using that as an excuse to say that they can’t possibly be homophobic. Or other people using that as an excuse to say the not straight person can’t be responsible for their own homophobic actions. Being not straight in no way excuses adults from being homophobic. This man being not straight in no way excuses the horrendous homophobic actions he has taken and tried to force on other people. I feel sad for him that he hates himself so much, but that pain in no way excuses what he did. I don’t think it’s horrible for people to point out that to them he’s being a hypocrite.
As for the joke that all homophobes are secretly gay, of course it’s not accurate. Every single generalization is inaccurate. And in no way in my mind does it excuse what homophobes do as okay, regardless of how straight or not they are. I do think it touches on a subject that I found to be true in my own life. As a child, being a closeted queer conservative did unfortunately mean that I lashed out at those who weren’t straight, probably enhanced by my fear that people would find me to be queer if I didn’t make it clear which side I was on.
my dream is to become a knight and go to rescue a princess. there is a dragon guarding the castle. she yells no men allowed! I take off my helmet. “I am no man!” the dragon let’s me in. I find the princess. she asks me what took so long. I say “the systemic oppression of women kept me from achieving the rank of knight sooner, my princess.” she laughs. I became a knight for her. she knows this because we were lovers before she was trapped in this castle. she told her dragon friend to whisk her away so that she wouldn’t have to marry a man. she left me a letter that said “become a knight and come find me my love. only then can we be wed.” this is because of the law where if you rescue a princess from a dragon castle you get to marry her. I ask “how am I supposed to find her?” I flip the letter over. it says: “I went to the castle where we first banged.” I know exactly where to go. because it’s my castle. I am the queen of the neighboring kingdom. also a knight. also sexy. we get married. we unite the kingdoms. we both carry swords at all times.
And that’s my lesbian fantasy.
Wait so were you just locked out of your own castle for years while you tried to become a knight.
No my lesbian moms tended to the kingdom while I was gone. They ruled in my stead
my wife was residing in a castle outside the capital that me and my mothers used to spend summers in
I have more than 1 castle. Possibly more than 5
I like this story.
Print your own “Captain America’s Ballsack” candle label!
Inspired by a very long and insane Twitter thread, during which the topic of fic characters’ predilection for nuzzling balls came up, which several of us questioned, because balls don’t generally smell good, and then @kedgeree11 brought up candle scents, and then I thought that if anyone had good-smelling balls, it would definitely be Captain America.
Anyway, if you download the full-size version, you can print it out and stick it over the label on a large Yankee Candle jar candle, like so:
It’s totally up to you to decide what, exactly, Captain America’s balls smell like.
Also, you should probably be following me on Twitter.
Reblogging for Christmas candle season.
Immortals, Long Cons, and the Building Fury of the Art History Department
I’ve mentioned my favorite art history professor to @systlin a few times, but there’s one story of him that stays with me. So for you, Plant Aunt, I’ve crafted a tale of one immortal spitefully making sure another immortal finally gets his:
The running joke among David’s students is that our beloved professor is clearly an immortal. How else could we explain his small office crammed with illuminated manuscripts, Scythian and Mongolian bows, 3rd cent. Roman gladii, near-Eastern rugs and ancient swords? The way he sighed wistfully in class and told us how beautiful the Parthenon was when it was new and, “not just a damn tourist attraction”? It wasn’t uncommon for us to see him hefting a sword over his shoulder, leather trench coat flapping in the wind, flipping off the head of security who really should have stopped trying by now.
It was also a running joke that our favorite immortal just did not get technology. I worked at our Help Desk for all four years of college, and David would always request one of his students to come and fix his computer. “This computer isn’t fast enough,” he told me once, polishing an enameled chalice. Google maps was still loading on the page, trying to parse the coordinates he entered. It was likely looking ten centuries too late. “It needs more of that RAM. Really. I could be soaring over ancient Rome like a bird!”
After repeat requests, he got a brand-new Macbook Pro, which he promptly abandoned for his antique slide projector.
“I just don’t get the new technology,” he shrugged. “You can’t get the feel of things.”
That was the only sentiment he shared with his nemesis.
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