Vietgurl

~ Insert sad lyrics ~ Lurve my mutt <3 ~ Pokemon trainer ~

[fuckingrecipes]

question, why do delicious cakes cost so much to bake? okay cakes are cheap, but delicious ones cost like 30-40$ to get non pantry staple ingredients for

Take a cake mix from a box. Betty Crocker, Pillsbury, Duncan Hines, whatever the hell is on-sale.

They usually ask for you to add in some water, some cooking oil, and egg whites. 

Fuck that bullshit. 

Instead, replace water with milk (or buttermilk), use butter instead of oil, and use the whole goddamn egg. Toss in some extra vanilla extract. 

If you want to make it a bit spiced, add in some cinnamon/nutmeg/allspice

Want to make it gently lemony? Zest some lemon peel into the batter. 

Want it extra dense and moist? Add another fucking egg, half a package of vanilla pudding powder mix, and make sure to whip that batter extra hard and long. 

Welcome to rich, moist cakeland, entrance fee: $5

Enjoy impressing your friends. 

[chryza]

also shoutout to my really tired old white guy gynecologist who when i said "i want a hysterectomy" did not push back at all and instead sighed, and without looking up at me from his tablet went "We'll have to do a bunch of stuff for insurance because it's a scam and otherwise they won't approve it" and then after laying out the plan walked me out and i dont know if we made eye contact once after shaking hands, which is exactly the kind of medical care i want in this day and age.

[minotauri]

nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions

[minotauri]

"i sent this article to my relative" "mom & i were discussing dialectical materialism" you navigate the world with such a different set of parameters than i

[dwinkus]

nonlocal area code = hang up. obvious telemarketer

local area code = hang up. this one is also a telemarketer but trying to be sneaky

never answer the phone ever

[cigarettesforcats]

this is why everyone on this website is a virgin

[dwinkus]

I’m not gonna fuck the telemarketer man

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[parkchanwoohoo]

Realizing that I am not employing enough of my free will to become a nuisance at work

[raine-of-auroria]

Me watching this:

[cowboybarbaryn]

I’m not letting this rot in the tags

[thebibliosphere]

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

being a TA is so unserious why was my snow day email "class cancelled no zoom if you want a 20 point bonus assignment go build a snowman and send me a pic"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

oh no

[mayasaura]

I'm doing my part!!

[mayasaura]

I feel like it really adds something to know that this coffee shop was right next to the state capitol building. There is a non-zero chance one of these lattes ended up in the senate chamber.

[mayasaura]

Congratulations, you've unlocked the secret nerd bonus! I actually ended up texting a friend who specializes in the early Roman empire for advice on designing this special.

Honey and almond are pretty self-explanatory, as honey and nuts both figured heavily in Roman desserts. Cinnamon, meanwhile, means dead rich guy. It was insanely expensive to obtain, and the wealthiest of Romans used it to scent funeral pyres, so that the smell of burning cinnamon would cover the scent of cremation.

[charlesoberonn]

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

[charlesoberonn]

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

[gropeable-boychest]

she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

[charlesoberonn]

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p

[charlesoberonn]

Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

[ardinwriter]

Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!

[charlesoberonn]

She isn't 29 years old. She's been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she'd be 43.

[terraswallows]

God I needed this.

[trucywright]

When the actual academic scholarly book makes the tumblr meme post a reality.

[homunculus-argument]

The "I put food on the table and a roof over your head what more could you possibly want" type of parents are always so shocked that their kids never come back again once they find anywhere else that they can get food and a roof under better terms and conditions.

[scratch-meowt]

my hottest take

[keeper-of-the-flames]

Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.

[pusheenthenerdcat]

guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare

[maimonideznuts]

[pusheenthenerdcat]

yeah the guy who invented them made incredibly precise infusion pumps (as opposed to gravity fed ivs) which not only meant they could give medications to teeny tiny babies safely, it's also used for insulin pumps and portable dialysis machines. the key element is that it's a peristaltic pump so the liquid stays in sterile tubing for safety

(unholy drink cloaca uses it to dispense precise amounts of flavored sugar syrup)

[you-know-that-you-like-it]

AND it can make me a peach sprite

[phantomrose96]

That thing where milkmaids were often immunized against small pox because they'd already contracted the weaker cow pox earlier in their lives. That's Tumblr, to me, against whatever the hell social media landscape is happening in 2026.

[phantomrose96]

"TikTok Instagram Youtube-Shorts Share-Your-Whole-Life Influencer Social-Media Online Online Online" it cannot affect me. I was already a weird online 16-year-old all so many years ago. You cannot grab me raw and unfortified with these poisons. I inoculated myself when glomping was a thing. I am still on Tumblr making text poasts.

[omamervt]

The reason I know for a fact that a hot dog is not a sandwich or taco or whatever is because the sausage, served by itself without a bun, is still a Hot Dog. This implies that the bun is just as much a condiment to the hot dog as the chili and cheese or ketchup and relish would be. If the bun is not essential to the dish, how could it be a sandwich?

Likewise it cannot be a Taco, because a taco without its shell becomes Taco Salad. A hot dog does not become a salad when removed from the bun. Therefore it cannot be a taco, either.

In conclusion, a hot dog is a type of sausage, one that can be served on a bun with a wide array of additional toppings, but the toppings and bun do not change the classification of the sausage, although certain toppings may create a sub-classification (ex: chili dogs).

[helenvaughans]

[helenvaughans]

the thing is that for all its supposed faults, i would take this brand of 90s utopian globalism over whatever the fuck we’ve been doing for the last 10 years in a heartbeat

[witch-hattery]

I think what we're seeing is movements that were against racism being taken over by people who value the struggle over the goal.

Anti-racism attitudes of the 90s seemed pretty victorious. There was an impression that most people agree that racism is bad, the exceptions were relics of a less enlightened time.

So I think what happened is that people who liked this outcome became less active, leaving organizations and movements in the hands of people who made "fighting racism" their career or personal identity, and weren't content having their opposition reduced to an occasional "old racist uncle" type.

They wanted to be the underdog. They wanted "the opposition" to be a mighty conspiracy, not scattered holdovers. And that's where I think the rhetoric that amounts to "all white people are automatically racists" comes from.

100% eliminating racism is probably impossible, but if you want to move in that direction, you have to promote unity, not dig up and maintain points of offense and division.

[emeraldmercury]

100% eliminating racism is probably impossible, but if you want to move in that direction, you have to promote unity, not dig up and maintain points of offense and division.

[cuunos]

literally my second biggest flex is that the guy behind osha official is my mutual. first biggest flex is that there's a discord server dedicated to hating on me

[cuunos]

GUYS???

[handsomeamoeba]

[chickenwaffles17]

hey you ever think about how the Cullen's love-bombing eventually replaced Bella's personality?

She mentions multiple times in the books that she despises expensive gifts, and the ones that actually leave an impact on are her Chevy and the wooden wolf bracelet Jacob gives her. The Chevy is second-hand from Billy, and the bracelet was carved by Jacob. They hold value to her because they have personality; they speak to her tastes and were given to her with those tastes in mind.

She loves her Chevy, but it is eventually replaced with a sleek, expensive designer car gifted to her by the Cullens. She adores the bracelet but Edward puts an designer charm on it to remind her of him.

Even her clothes, which she insists are fine and suit her, are replaced with branded sweaters, dresses and heels.

She hates the idea of any kind of marriage but Edward holds vampirism over her head to get what he wants. Even when she agrees to marry him (against her will) she wants to keep it simple, wanting to simply drive to Texas and get married via a drive thru- Alice begs Bella to allow her to plan the wedding and it's easily more ostentacious and expensive than her birthday party in New Moon, which she describes as "a hundred times worse than I'd imagined"

They get rid of her preferred aesthetics in hopes that their consumerist one will stick, and one of the last things they do to her is literally strip her of her humanity.

She becomes a cold, perfect creature and as a result, is no longer allowed to have ties to her father, mother, her best friend or the interests she had before. She's converted into a Cullen and this shit is supposed to be romantic.

[afriendlyirin]

#oh hey it really is mormon (via @quasi-normalcy)

[bitchesgetriches]

Reblogging for consumerist Cullens.