i'm raven, aadi is also great. it's nice to meet you! i prefer he/him, but they/them is also fine, she/her is a no no. i'm transmasc/genderfluid. fun :D
this blog is just for randomness. might post art/writing, but i'm new to this and don't have a lot of free time, so patience would be nice, thanks :)
(crediting @cafekitsune for text dividers!)
!!! DNI !!!
anti-lgbtq+, pro shippers, nsfw blogs, pedophiles, people who think (___) should die, ableists, racist people, hardcore religious people
!!! DNI !!!
i will write:
male and gender-neutral readers
male characters x male/gender-neutral readers
nb/gender-neutral characters x male/gender-neutral readers
fluff
angst (i'll attempt it, anyway)
i will NOT write:
nsfw
female readers (many other blogs for that)
pedophilia
anti-lgbtq+, racist, or ableism
things like "student x teacher"
etc. (more to be added)
requests are open, ask away! my masterlist currently has one fanfiction (July 29, 2024)
To be clear, I don't have any news about any impending doom. But I've heard a bit more about what's going on with staff after the layoff of last week, and there are even less people than I thought still working here.
I don't think even the current staff know what's going to happen, but honestly, I don't see how the high ups could even pretend to intend to keep this place open while virtually unstaffed.
In your blog settings you have the ability to initiate a blog export, and this will generate a backup for your blog.
Fair warning though, if you've been on the platform for a long time this archive is likely to be quite hefty in file size. This blog I have had for 5 years with 22k posts, and the export from tumblr came to be 48GB. My previous blog I made in 2011 and has 95k posts, so needless to say I did not use tumblr's built in export to back that one up.
If you want more control over exactly what you back up from your blog, I recommend that you use tumblr-utils instead. It allows you to backup specific tags, post types, and to ignore posts that you did not create (reblogs where you've added a comment count as a post you created, to be clear).
To use it:
download and install python
create an application on tumblr to get an api key
create a folder where you would like to save your backups and right click to open it in the terminal/command prompt, or type cmd.exe in the address bar from inside that folder
now in the window that opens it should show the current path, and you can type pip install tumblr-backup, and then when it is installed type tumblr-backup --set-api-key [your oauth consumer key], and then finally tumblr-backup [your options] [your blog name], like so:
Backing up just my original posts from this blog with this command came to 632MB rather than 48GB, and also gave me the option to save my posts in JSON format which will be useful for converting my posts to a new format for self hosting.
On that note I'm currently looking into figuring out a simple (and ideally free) way of self hosting a static site blog that utilises activitypub, and also converting my old posts to re-host on said blog.
This post series by maho.dev on implementing activitypub with any static site is my primary source of guidance atm if you also want to try figure that out yourself, as well as having an explanation for why you'd even want to do this if you don't already know
but if tumblr goes down before I get things sorted and write up a post about it then i'll be reporting back on it via my bsky, mastodon, and toyhouse accounts
if you dont have an account on any of these I'll also be sharing an update via my personal site's RSS feed, link of which includes an explanation of what RSS is and some feed readers you can use, I highly recommend checking it out as getting a feed reader is going to be the best way you can stay connected with people if they scatter across the internet!
tldr: download tumblr-utils to backup your blog more efficiently, introduce yourself to RSS and get a feed reader to stay connected with people, consider saving mine so you can find out how to self host your blog later if tumblr goes down
reader's race and gender are ambiguous; no pronouns or physical descriptors are used.
summary: Severus is quick to break the distance between you, as he kneels down next to you and places a hand over your forehead. âYouâve been dosed with Amortentia and you thought it pertinent to send a letter?" His voice possesses a confusing mix of irritation, fury, exasperation, and something surprisingly close to concern.
The following snippet is meant to serve as the sixth part to my ongoing series featuring Severus/Reader.
word count: 4k | ao3 version
Warnings: non-consensual drugging (amortentia), vomiting, nausea, unconsciousness, sickness, medical fare (think the infirmary, medical recovery processes, etc.)
Disclaimer: I do not support or condone the actions and beliefs of HPâs author in any way whatsoever. I thoroughly believe in fanfictionâs transformative, restorative, and healing power. Therefore, I write HP fanfiction not to encourage the authorâs beliefs, but instead to directly challenge and disprove her prejudice; I write to further strengthen, validate, and support minority identities that are harmed by She Who Must Not be Namedâs dangerous ideologies. I'm not taking any questions, comments, or criticisms regarding this. Don't like it? Don't read!
It all starts at lunch. At least, thatâs your most educated guess.Â
You ate your typical meal and drank from your gobletâjust like every other lunch. None of these occurrences shouldâve been indicative of future turmoil. Yet, hours later, when you find yourself hunched over your desk with tunneling vision, shaking hands, and sweat along your skin, you have to come to terms with the fact that something likely happened at lunch. Youâre no Potions expert, but you know the telltale signs of an Amortentia dosage when you see them.
You summon a piece of parchment and grab your quill, writing a quick letter to Severus and handing it to your owl. Your owl lets out a weak chirp, pecking your forehead in evident concern before flying away. Severus will certainly be able to brew the necessary Potions to get the Amortentia out of your system. Ordinarily, youâd simply walk over to his officeâbut youâre not very confident in your ability to walk at the moment. Indeed, the moment you had gotten up from your desk, you were hit with such an intense wave of dizziness that you fell to the ground. Youâve since managed to move back to rest against the wall behind you, closing your eyes in a feeble attempt to distract yourself from the feverish sensation at your core and your blurring vision.Â
Meanwhile, Severus is grading papers in his office when he hears an owl tapping at his closed window. He huffs and turns around, tempted to ignore the creature until he recognizes it as yours. The Potions master gets to his feet and opens the window, only for the owl to nearly collide with his chest as it frantically flies at him. Severus frowns and takes the parchment tied to its leg. The message only deepens his frown.
Severus,
Apologies for disrupting you. When you get the chance, would you bring me some potions to treat Amortentia dosage? Theyâre for a student.
Severus stares down at the parchment for a moment longer, unease prickling along his skin. He wonders why you didnât simply come to his office to ask him in person. Even more troubling is the uncharacteristic slant to your writing. He canât seem to get rid of the unfounded feeling of dread settling in his chest as he looks at your message. Itâs innocuous, and yet⊠he knows something is wrong.Â
Furthermore, if the Potions were for a student, then youâd likely supply their nameâafter all, Hogwarts faculty are trained to practice ultimate discretion when it comes to the health of their students. Your messy writing and the omission of the studentâs information arenât significant on their own; together, however, they unsettle him. Your owl bats him with a wing, breaking him from his thoughts. Your owlâwhich is usually quite calmâseems to be stressed, too. Quickly coming to a decision, Severus heads for the door to his office.
And in the time since you first penned the letter, you found yourself falling to the floor. Youâre now lying on the ground with your back to the wallâsweat dripping down the back of your neck. Your clothes feel extremely constricting and you want nothing more than to run out of your office and find the person who slipped you the potion, the object of your affections, the target of your obsession-Â
Suddenly, your office door is nearly thrown off its hinges as it slams against the adjacent wall. You look up at the sudden noise, only to find Severus standing in the doorway, looking truly menacing as he wears a furious expression on his face. âSeverus,â you say. You donât think you manage to successfully hide the relief you feel from your voice, but you canât find it in yourself to care. You donât have the energy ânot when your skin feels like itâs oozing off of you into puddles on the ground.Â
Severus is quick to break the distance between you, as he kneels down next to you and places a hand over your forehead. âYouâre the one who needs the potion,â he states. His voice possesses a confusing mix of irritation, fury, exasperation, and something surprisingly close to concern. âYouâve been dosed with Amortentia and you thought it pertinent to send a letter?â
âIt didnât seem pressing at the time.â You choke out, shivering and sweating at the same time. You feel like youâre stuck in quicksandâeven a small gesture with your hand feels like an uphill battle against a powerful current.Â
âMerlin,â Severus mutters.Â
There are tears sliding down your cheeks now. You wipe at your eyes, your hands trembling beyond belief as your vision tunnels and sways around you. The professor leans closer and you flinch, guilt flooding through you when you recognize the instinct.
But Severus doesnât seem to take offense. Heâs staring at you with a clinical gaze, taking in all of your symptoms and evidently developing a plan in his head. He opens the satchel at his side with nimble fingers, grabbing an unfamiliar vial. âTake this,â Severus implores. At your blank stare, he continues. âDonât make me force you.â The dark expression on his face suggests that he will do exactly that, if necessary. Not wanting to approach death, you bring a shaking hand to the vial. Expecting him to relinquish his grip, you bring the vial to your lips and tilt it backâonly to realize that Severusâ hand hasnât left the vial either, instead moving it to your lips and ensuring you donât drop it. The potion burns as you swallow it and you cough briefly, shuddering at the awful taste.Â
Then a weak, utterly humiliating sound wrenches its way from your lips. Your skin feels like itâs on fire. âSeverus-â You try to say. Your words are garbled and your tongue feels far too thick to create anything coherent. In one last burst of energy, you try to reach out to himâonly to succumb to the darkness creeping along the edges of your vision.Â
You wake up in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing and, at first, you feel as if youâre a student. Then, the memory of what happened rushes back to you and youâre forced to remember that youâre a professor who was poisoned by a student. The thought unsettles you, so you try to distract yourself by looking around the space.Â
To your surprise, Severus is sitting at your bedside, looking entirely unimpressed. The pinched expression on his face looks somewhat painful to maintain, yet his scowl is so deeply-set that it doesnât even flicker in intensity. You try to avert your eyes, but itâs too lateâheâs noticed youâre awake.
â...Hello,â you try. Severus arches a brow. For a long moment, there is nothing but a horribly tense silence that descends across the space. You glance around the Hospital Wing, relieved to find that there arenât any students present. Itâs embarrassing enough for Severus to be hereâthe last thing you need is for one of your students to be seeing you like this.Â
His form is strung together with a silent fury. âWhat could have possibly possessed you to consume a gift from a student?â Severus eventually seethes. It takes you a few moments to process that accusation.Â
âA gift from a student?â You then ask, your voice a little hoarse. You clear your throat before continuing. âDo you really think so little of me? Iâm not that foolish.â
Severus stills. âWhere do you suspect the potion was, then?â He asks carefully, clearly sensing the implications of your confession.Â
âIt mustâve been in my goblet during lunch.â You answer.Â
Severusâs expression morphs from vicious fury to calculating precision. âThat is⊠even more concerning,â he admits with a stormy expression. âI will speak to the elves about this.â He resolves.Â
âSeverus, thatâs not-â Thatâs not necessary, you want to say. Except it sort of is. You donât want anything like this to happen againâyou donât want to feel doubtful or suspicious of the meals in the castle. Severus must sense your thought process, because he continues as if you hadnât said anything at all.Â
âThe offender will be expelled,â he asserts easily. âSince they are likely a student.âÂ
âExpelled?â You choke out, suddenly feeling lightheaded. Sure, youâre unsettled by the whole situation, but you donât want to completely ruin a childâs future. Preventing them from returning to Hogwarts seems a little extreme. âSeverus, expulsion is a little extreme. I donât want that to happen; we can negotiate something less severe-â
âI donât remember inquiring about your desires,â Severus states coldly, bringing you back to reality. You once again feel like youâre a student, as youâre coming face to face with the professorâs unflinching authority. You resist the growing urge to shrink back against the pillows at your back. âAnd need I remind you that administering Amortentia without explicit consent is a felony?âÂ
âNo,â you sigh resignedly. You bring a shaking hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose. Youâre still struggling to get a handle on everything that happened. It all feels like a blur. âI just⊠I donât want to make this a big deal.âÂ
âThis became a big deal when a Hogwarts professorâs life was endangered by a studentâs foolish actions,â Severus asserts, raising a brow and challenging you to argue. You remain silent and, once he senses that you wonât voice any dissent, he continues. âNow, tell me who it was.âÂ
Somehow, that statement is what makes the reality of it all set in. You were so distracted by your symptoms that you didnât stop to think and internalize the fact that a student was likely the one to do this. Someone in the castle wanted this to happen to you. At the mention of the culprit, dull grey eyes unwittingly come to mind. Youâre suddenly hit with a horrible wave of dread and infatuation all at once, as the studentâs visage appears in your mindâs eye. Even the thought of uttering their name is enough to summon the taste of bile. Every time you close your eyes, you see their cool gaze and shimmering hair and-Â
Youâre vomiting into the bowl at your side. When youâre finished, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and place your hands on the mattress, feeling the need to brace yourself. Severus vanishes the evidence of your sickness, which you are thankful forâthe smell would not have helped your persistent nausea. Heâs patiently waiting for your explanation, and itâs abundantly clear that youâre not going to be able to escape this.Â
âJust-â You choke, shaking your head. It all feels like far too much. You take a shuddering breath, pretending not to feel as helpless as you do. Their name feels caught in your throat. A verbal admission is too much for you to handle right now. âLook at me.â You implore the professor. Severus understands quickly, as his eye contact with you quickly turns probing. You try to drop your Occlumency shields and summon the studentâs visage to mind, showing Severus rather than telling him. The effort isnât exactly difficult, given the potion thatâs coursing through your veins. If anything, itâs harder not to think about the culprit.Â
âLegilimens,â Severus says quietly. For a moment, it feels as if youâve been plunged into ice water. Thereâs the faintest sensation of a frigid breeze rifling through your mind. Then, within moments, the professorâs looking away with thinly-veiled fury in his eyes. He seems moments away from walking out the door and interrogating the student, until a cough rips its way out of your throat and his attention is evidently thwarted.Â
Severus squints at you before getting to his feet and approaching your bed. He places a hand to your forehead before holding your jaw and looking into your eyes, tilting your head slightly as he evidently looks for lingering effects from the potion. His hands are cool; you have to resist the urge to keep them pressed to your skin, if only because of the boiling feeling running along your skin. âIâve provided a strict Potions regimen to ensure the Amortentia leaves your system,â Severus explains, his gaze flitting to the parchment on the bedside table. Then he looks at you sternly. âIt is imperative that you maintain this regimen.âÂ
âOkay,â you say, too tired to argue or question him any further. You blink at him dazedly, struggling to clear your vision. The air seems to fall still. âThank you, Severus.â Severus just nods, his right hand still cradling your jaw. The infirmary descends into a tenseâbut not uncomfortableâsilence.Â
Thereâs some bustling in the corner of the room. âYou have another visitor,â Madam Pomfrey says, promptly breaking the strange moment that had been created between Severus and you. Severus leans back and nods at you, before making his departure. You watch him leave with conflicting feelings.Â
âAlbus,â you greet the headmaster, who walks into the room with a concerned expression.
âHow are you faring?â Albus asks, settling at your bedside.Â
âIâm fine, thanks to Severus,â you respond honestly. Youâve been better, but without his help, youâd be feeling much worse.Â
âHe seems worried, the dear boy,â Albus says, leaning forward conspiratorially. âHe has been on edge since you fell unconscious.âÂ
âOh.â Youâre not really sure what else to say. Judging by the way Albus is smiling, heâs trying to tell you something. You just donât know what it is.Â
Over the next few days, Severus accompanies you to every meal. He always performs spells to ensure nothing has been tampered with. You want to be thankful for the thought, but at this point, youâre just frustrated that you have to go to such lengths.Â
Youâre slowly starting to recover. The Potions regimen Severus left you is dwindling down, as you take lower doses with each passing day. But there are still lingering side effects. Your hands still have tremors; your vision still has brief bursts of painful clarity. You still feel a little nauseated when thinking about the student who constructed this charade. Â
The paranoia has to be the most debilitating aftereffect of all, though. Youâre sure itâs a logical response to a near-death experience, but itâs making things rather inconvenient. Despite all the reassurance youâve been givenâby practically every member of the Hogwarts staff and several Ministry officialsâit still doesnât feel like enough. You still have moments when you canât even stomach the thought of eatingâmeal times spent huddled in a corner of your office, shaking as youâre assaulted with the prickling sensation youâve grown to associate with Amortentia.Â
You start to think youâre getting better. But then you get up from your desk late one night, only to crumple to the ground like a broken marionette. You canât even push yourself up to your feetâinstead left to slowly fade away on the floor of your office. Youâre commanding your muscles to move but theyâre ignoring your demands. Your skin is licked with flames and sweat. Suddenly, your throat feels extremely dry. Your office is spinning around you and, within seconds, youâre slipping into darkness once more.Â
There is a cool cloth draped over your forehead when you wake. You stare up at the ceiling, your vision slowly returning to you. You attempt to push yourself up to a sitting position, but the effort is annoyingly difficult. Thereâs an almost imperceptibly quiet noise of frustration, before youâre being helped up with a hand on your forearm and another at your side. Your breaths are labored once you finally sit up.Â
When your vision finally starts to calm down, you find yourself staring into familiar black eyes. âSeverus,â you say. Your vision is spinning a little, but not enough for you to miss the irritated furrow to his brows.Â
âI distinctly recall ordering you to notify me if any of your symptoms returned,â Severus states flatly. He looks entirely unimpressed. And damn it, now youâre feeling guilty again.
ââŠI didnât want to bother you.â It sounds pathetic, even to your own ears. Severus briefly looks to the ceiling, as if wishing for it to swallow him whole and end his life. He seems to be exercising a nearly infinite amount of patience; you can tell by how much time he takes to respond. Â
âThis is the second time youâve taken the liberty of making that decision for me,â he says coolly. Itâs clear thereâs a lot more he wants to say, but he holds his tongue. Instead, Severus scowls and casts a diagnostic spell. âNo fever.â
âThatâs good.â You say weakly.Â
âThe dosage mustâve been high,â Severus then says, his brows furrowed. You canât tell if heâs speaking to you or himself, at this point. âIt should be out of your system.â But itâs not, you think. Itâs not out of my system, and Iâm scared.Â
âSeverus-â You try to say.Â
âIt will fade soon enough,â he states. Thatâs as close to reassurance as youâre going to get. âRest. Iâll ensure youâre awake to take your next potion.â He says sincerely.Â
And so you rest.
Seeing you in this state unsettles Severus far more than heâd like to admit. He tells himself his concern is of a professional nature and nothing more. Heâs concerned for his colleague; and the implications of this Amortentia incident. After all, the bare facts still paint a startling picture: a Hogwarts professor drugged by a student, in the Great Hall during mealtime. The castle has always been regarded as one of the safest places in the wizarding world; yet a staff member has been harmed within its walls.Â
Severus expected you to show resistance at the thought of seeking out the culprit; he was surprised, therefore, that you allowed him to sort through your mind in his search. No one has shown him that kind of trust before. Yet you unflinchingly met his eyes, and implored him to look into the depths of your mind.Â
Severus did nothing of the sort, of course. He did not want to betray your trust, and so his perusal through your mind was quick and purposeful. The unusually tangled web that structured your thoughts did not escape his notice, of course. He knows you to be a rational person; such disorganization is an indicator of a deeper issue. In your case, it is a sign that the Amortentia hasnât been completely removed from your system.Â
Severus spends an immeasurable amount of time brewing the potions needed for your treatment. Brewing is usually a tranquil experience for him. Yet, today, heâs lost in his thoughts as he prepares ingredients. Fortunately, for a wizard of his expertise, distraction will not truly affect the result. He does seem to be in the lab for longer than usual, but then again, he doesnât typically have occasion for brewing these particular potions. If everything goes according to plan, Severus will not need to brew any more potions like this for you.Â
When heâs finished with the first few doses, Severus breaks away from the lab and returns to his personal quarters. Youâre reclined on the sofa, looking exhausted andâŠvulnerable. Severus tears his eyes away. Truthfully, he has never allowed someone into his quarters before. Itâs strange. Severus was convinced he would dislike itâthat your presence would feel like an intrusion. But he knew he would be able to care for your symptoms much more effectively if you were near. And somehow, the sight of you manages to alleviate some of his prior concerns. Heâd daresay your presence comforts him.Â
âŠMaybe the Amortentia was transferred to him, too. He scoffs at the unlikely thought, but decides to subject himself to a quick diagnostic spell just in case. As Severus suspected, there is nothing wrong. These strange feelings are entirely of his own creation.
Youâve been looking at him with such a trusting gaze throughout this healing process that it makes Sevwerus want to vomit. He immediately wants to roll up his sleeve and force you to take in the warped mark across his forearm, if only to dispel you of the notion that he is in any way deserving of your trust.Â
He only averts his eyes from your sleeping form instead, his throat feeling tight. What is it about you that provokes such sentiment within him? Severus shakes his head quickly. He doesnât have the luxury to contemplate such things at the moment; right now, your health is the priority.Â
When he has a moment to breathe, Severus informs Albus of the culprit. It slips his mind, for the briefest of moments, that the headmaster is stubbornly idealisticâand sees the best in everyone. Indeed, he should have expected Albus to provide an alternative method of disciplining the child.Â
âSuspension.â Severus states blandly, glaring at the headmaster. âYou believe suspension to be a suitable punishment for the unlawful administration of Amortentia.â
âAnd what would you suggest, Severus?â Albus asks, his eyes twinkling. Heâs setting a trap for him. For some reason, unknown to Severus himself, the headmaster wants him to argue.Â
âExpulsion, of course.â Severus scoffs. He isnât sure what the old fool is trying to do here.Â
âI canât imagine your colleague was quite pleased with that suggestion.â Albus remarks, that damned twinkle in his eyes still taunting him.Â
âNot at first,â Severus admits with a scoff. âOf course, upon discussing the likelihood of a similar incident occurring, the suggestion was better received.â He crosses his arms over his chest.Â
âI see.â Albus responds. Thereâs a thin smile on his face.Â
âWhat?â Severus nearly spits. âA professor has been drugged. This is no laughing matter, Albus.â
âOf course not.â Albus says sincerely. âAlas, I fear you are correct. Expulsion would be the wise choice. I shall inform the boyâs parents at once.â
Severusâs jaw clenches in irritation. That was far too easy. Albus is never so easily persuaded; and yet, he conceded without much argument. Just what does the old man have planned? The Potions professor regards him warily.Â
âNo need to be suspicious, dear boy.â Albus reassures him. The reassurance only makes Severus more suspicious. âIâm only thankful that you have found tolerable company here in the castle.â
Severus glares at him for several moments. His jaw is clenched and his teeth are gritted. âAnd how is this relevant, exactly?â He manages to spit out.
âItâs merely an observation.â Albus surrenders. He senses Severus is growing tired of this conversation. âAnd how is our young professor faring?â
âIâm developing an enhanced regimen to eradicate the Amortentia.â Severus responds, thankful for an excuse to talk about something else. âI brought my colleague,â he borrows the words of the headmaster, âto my quarters, to ensure proper adherence to the regimen.â
âYour quarters?â Albus asks lightly. He looks rather pleased with himself. The Potions professorâs wand hand twitches. âThatâs rather forward of you, Severus.â Severusâs jaw nearly cracks with how hard he grits his teeth at the remark. Albus is wearing a victorious smile; the Potions professor immediately steels his composure and stares right back at the man.Â
After what feels like far too long, the headmaster relents. âKeep me updated, Severus.â Albus remarks, his expression returning to an appropriate concern.Â
Severus nods jerkily, before making his escape. He is never quite certain when a conversation with Albus will morph into an interrogation; this time was particularly catastrophic. He takes a few slow breaths as he returns to his quarters.Â
Unsurprisingly, you are awake to greet him. Before either of you can descend into empty small talk, youâre breaking through the silence. âYou⊠donât mind me being here, do you?â You ask, glancing around the room as if realizing your surroundings for the first time. âI can return to my quarters, Iâm sure.â
âGiven the return of your symptoms, that would be unwise.â Severus says after a moment. It takes him longer than heâd like to formulate a response. âIâm afraid I will have to be⊠inconvenienced by your presence a bit longer.â Yes, it is truly inconvenientâbecause you provoke such unusual feelings in him. Every time he sees you in his quarters, he has these horrible urges to embraceâŠÂ domesticity. It disgusts him.Â
âIf you insist.â You say hesitantly. Neither of you decide to acknowledge the tension that has settled in the air. Severus promptly returns to asking you about your symptoms, in an attempt to ward off these strange sentiments that spring to mind in your presence.
endnotes: I feel like Severus is in a perpetual state of disgust: with himself, with the world around him... sigh. he's very fun to write for, though.
I genuinely forgot I wrote this and was so happy to find it in my drafts again. And then a few weeks passed and I forgot about it *again.* When I stumbled upon it again, I was very surprised to find it 99% complete, bahaha.
anyways, thanks for reading! <3
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