Stuff

[thecollectibles]

Girl by Xi Zhang

[siramasagenav]

I THINK I JUST SAW A MURDER???

GUYS, so you know how I like to relax near that tree by the lake I always post about on Instagram?? Well yesterday while I was supposed to be drawing commissions (you guys definitely won’t complain about my art taking too long after this story) these three stoned guys just stumbled a few feet in front of me?? But like that’s not the problem, the problem was they were all dressed in trashy try-hard clothes and yelling, I kid you not, about finding Death and killing him or something like that. And I was superrrr confused and thinking what is wrong with these people. BUT IT DOESNT END THERE. Like ya’ll know how I live in a farming area, so there’s cow poop literally everywhere and like you know how people always say that it’s raining dogs and cats or whatever, well I’m pretty sure it rains cow poop here because after it rains its everywhere and I know it’s literally just grass but like nooo it’s not to ME. Anyway back to the stoned guys, they suddenly stopped their death chant and started laughing and cursing because apparently they thought the cow poop was gold????? They started digging their hands into it and KISSING IT and I swear my soul would leave my body if my lips ever touched that so I was like nope NOPE I’m out of here. So I left and that was the end of it, or so I thought...

I come back later that afternoon just in time to see one of them running back with this crazed look on his face, and I was like great! My day can’t get any better! and then it did ha    - _ -  

So I started going back home when out of the corner of my eye the other two dudes STAB HIM, LITERALLY OUT OF NOWHERE and I am literally LOSING MY MIND because I just saw a MURDER no joke I have no idea why I’m telling you guys this instead of idk CALLING THE POLICE??? maybe I’m in shock???

Anywayyy the two guys just start laughing and patting each other on the back like dumb dude bros, and I’m just hiding behind my tree trying to decide what to do because I value my life?! And God totally exists because he answered my prayers and the two bros started seizing and their mouths were foaming as if they were like possessed freaks or something, so I run back home and now I’m here and I don’t know what to do. Did the other guy try to poison them or karma just finally did its job, ughhhhh guys please dm me or I am going to LOSE MY MIND THANKS 

[siramasagenav]

[capnskull]

the drum is filled with hot steam and then sprayed with cold water. the pressure on the outside of the drum is far more than inside. the pressures try to maintain and find balance taking the drum as a casualty.

“Oh FUCK that’s cold!”

[barfingunicorn-deactivated20210]

when youre in the shower and someone flushes the toilet

[deadmomjokes]

My Chemistry teacher did this the first day of class with a coke can, a hotplate, and a basin of water. I have never forgotten the scientific principles behind it, and here’s why.

There were 20-something of us in the classroom, all dying of sleep deprivation since it was the first day back to school, first class of the day. Mr. Moses was that teacher you weren’t sure how to deal with. I mean, the man’s name was Noah Eugene Moses, for starters. He drove a Harley to school, but also drove the bus. He had giant cokebottle glasses and a doofy mustache with shaggy ex-Beatles hair. He always wore suspenders and a grease-stained t-shirt because he had a potbelly and taught the shop/electrical classes. He wasn’t even really lecturing; he was throwing in tidbits of the syllabus in the midst of bad jokes and fun stories. We were all a bit nervous, because none of us had taken a class from him before, but his tests were legendary—nobody had ever made it out with an A (until I did, but that’s another story for another time and involves a really awesome bet and some hair cutting scissors).

Well, as we were fighting to stay awake, and attempting to take notes of whatever he was talking about, he was pacing around the room from here to there, straightening things and moving stuff. He was very scatterbrained, and it was easy to tell from how he kept forgetting where he put his coke. Turns out, that was just a ruse. He had the can filled with just a tiny bit of water, and the things he was moving around were stacks of papers and books hiding the hot plate and water basin. So he set his coke can down onto the hot plate, continued talking loudly enough so we wouldn’t hear the water boiling, and then knocked it over really fast into the water basin.

BANG!!!!!!!!

Three girls fell out of their seats, one dude swore so violently I’m pretty sure the devil himself cringed, everyone at least jumped and screamed, and I actually broke my pen in half.

See, with rapid decompression comes a vacuum, and with a vacuum comes a rushing of air that creates a massive sound. Think “thunder”. That’s the same principle behind it. His little tiny coke can of steam into a bucket of ice water, and we had a bang so loud the band teacher came in from across the hall to see “what was exploding today.” To which Mr. Moses responded, “Nothing, it imploded. Explosions are chapter 3.”

And that’s when I knew it was going to be the best class ever.

[armadabrontzman]

International fans, it’s up to us to #SaveDirkGently

So, as you have probably heard, BBC America made the decision to drop Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.

And it sucks.

But AMC (the company involved with international distribution) are still up for carrying on with it, so we need to take action now.

The American fans did their bit by watching as the show aired. Now us international fans need to show that the world wants more Dirk Gently.

What can we do?

The most important thing is to watch the show on Netflix. Season 1 is available to be viewed right now, and the christmas holidays are the perfect time for a rewatch, no? You can also use this time to introduce all your friends and family to the show and prove that it’s gonna be worth watching season 2 and getting more seasons.

When January 5 comes around, we need as many different netflix accounts watching the show as possible. It’s all well and good if you want to watch it with your friends, but 2 separate accounts = 2 separate people watching, and we need the numbers.

Tell your family and your friends and everyone you know to watch the show on January 5 or very soon after so that we can show that the dedication that we have to it, and hopefully get it renewed on Netflix.

Is there anything else?

Yes! You can keep tweeting using the hashtags #SaveDirkGently and #RowdyForS3. For more information on who to tweet, I suggest you contact @busy-thinkin-bout-dirk or @sharkcats.

There is also a petition that you can sign here in order to show your support for Dirk Gently getting future seasons.

I love the little holistic family that we have, but the truth is that we need more people to join our ranks so that we can get our show renewed.

I believe in us, so lets show the powers that be that we ARE NOT GIVING UP ON DIRK GENTLY.

[kinstarlan]

Netflix at the moment

[holisticdetectives]

{the end}

[lostkittyinside-blog]

Acephobia - like what the hell people???

I saw a lot of posts about this here and on other social networks and there is so much hate towards asexuals (especially from inside the LGBT community), that I really need to get this off my chest.

My girlfriend is ace, I´m an average lesbian with an average sexual desire. And you know what? I´m totally fine with that.

We have a realtionship like everybody else, except we don´t have sex. We cuddle, go to the movies, go on trips together, laugh a lot, game, hold hands, kiss, everything. In short - we´re happy.

And then there are people. I even consider some of them my friends and they know about all of that and even though, I constantly get comments like

“Don´t you miss that?”

“You should finally make a move.”

“Time you get laid again.”

“Maybe you should get yourself a ‘normal’ girl.”

“Oh god, I couldn´t live like that. I´m sorry for you.”

Yes, that are actual quotes from actual people. And yes - those words hurt! Because you are lowkey implying, that I can´t be happy in a relationship without sex and at the same time, you blame my girlfriend for that, even though I just told you, that we´re happy.

Her body wasn´t the reason I picked her.

I picked her, because she makes me smile, when I feel down. I picked her because of those beautiful sparkles in her eyes. I picked her because of her endless fangirling and Elder Scrolls obsession, her love for space and stars, because of the way she snuggles into my arms at night, because she is so damn perfect to me.

Why would I expect her to change who she is? How could I pressure her into doing something she isn´t comfortable with? I knew she was ace and I knew what I got myself into and it doesn´t bother me. I love her and I want her to be happy and for her to be able to always feel safe with me. That´s what counts.

My girl and me had a lot of talks on that topic. She was scared and she cried a lot and she had a lot of things on her mind because of that. I felt bad because of that. I felt bad, because she thought, she´d eventually have to have sex in order to be part of a healthy relationship. That´s what society tells us everyday - that sex is an important part of a relationship. It´s like a constant pressure on everybody, but I think it´s the worst for asexuals.

Seriously, there´s sex without love, why can´t there be love without sex?

They´re constantly told, that there´s something wrong with them. Everyone tells them, that they´re too young or they should try it or haven´t found the right person yet. It even is considered a mental disease!!

Wait a second? Does that sound familiar?

Yeah, right! How do you know you like girls, if you never had a boy? Or the other way round? Maybe you try being straight first? How about you finally decide, if you like boys or girls, rather than being half straight and half gay. Did those things hurt you, when you heard them? I sure heard them and yeah, they hurt.

In the end, we all want to be accepted and loved.

How can you love someone, when you can´t even love yourself, because of all the negativity that is stuck in your head. All the insults, the pressure, the intolerance.People kill themselves because of that! How can you do that?

How can you expect to be accepted, if you don´t accept others, if you constantly need to show others how much better you are. You want to be respected, show some respect first! It´s not that hard.

Don´t call someone a fag, just because he´s gay. Don´t call the girl over there a lesbian, because she has short hair. Let the trans people pee in peace. Don´t act superior, only because you´re straight. Don´t blame black people for your shit. This list could go on for pages.

We´re all the same. We´re all humans.

The world would be such a better place, if everyone started to behave like an average human being, stop being so goddamn fixed on labels and decide to be less horrible to each other.

I accept and respect my ace girlfriend. I don´t care about the sexual side, even though I miss that sometimes, but there are so many things that can be way more intimate than sex.

A relationship is based on love and trust and supporting each other, not on what goes down in the bedroom. You should remember that the next time, you make a comment on someones lifestyle, decision, orientation or anything else.

[croptool-deactivated20221013]

white people on tumblr

white1: i love broccoli

white2: omg i love broccoli too sooo much

white3: did some1 say broccoli? i love broccoli

white4: i’m factkin with broccoli uwu no doubles

white5: i’’md bbrrococoli ttoo wwhyyr r  uu a a ffakke off mme??

white6: *posts a pic of a broccoli* my boyfriend

white7: i want to shove a broccoli up my pussy

white8: omg guys i found a broccoli vibrator xD

white9: *rbs pics of broccolis and tags everyone in it*

white10: ii jsustt fuckigng lovove brrocoli soso muchy

and then there’s a “broccoli hour” which lasts 3 hours instead and you have to unfollow 10 people

[evil-loli-bitch-from-hell]

This is actually really racist, but really fucking funny. I’m bouta do one with black folks and soul food, then Russians and vodka.

[croptool-deactivated20221013]

your url has loli on it

[evil-loli-bitch-from-hell]

And? Tag my post with pedophilia again. I dare you. I’ll press charges for defamation of character.

[evil-loli-bitch-from-hell]

screencapped and emailed to my lawyer. She will have filed charges by tomorrow afternoon. By law We must allow you 48 hours to remove the offending material. If not, you will be charged with defamation of character, libel, and criminal mischief, all misdemeanors. You will face a judge trial.

Don’t think you won’t be found either. That email with the cap also includes your Dox, which will not be shared publicly. I’ve also forwarded this material to the local FBI field office. They take false accusations of pedophilia VERY seriously. Especially when your uncle is a high ranking Homicide Detective with good friends in the FBI, the US Marshals Office, and the NSA. 

[croptool-deactivated20221013]

hey guys! with this post reaching almost 100k notes, i’d like to inform everyone that sakura (evil-loli-bitch-from-hell) has been reported to the authorities for possession of child pornography and is hopefully being arrested soon.

happy new year!

[starfallskitter]

anyone in this thread smoke weed

[back-that-sass-up]

my friend got hit by a car once

[witchjock-deactivated20221208]

Looks like 2018 is starting with [spins wheel] a YouTuber [spins a second wheel] desecrating a corpse

[madamehardy]

DM treats her players like kindergardners.  It works.

[czechs-and-holdings-deactivated]

I’m “How the fuck do you not know what your DM works as?”

[beaft]

going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half

[beaft]

“And so Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, and Eve turned to Adam and said, 'Nice going, loser.‘” 

iconic

[beaft]

whilst you were listening to avril lavigne, i learned the way of the Lord

[extraverted-feeling]

your eleven year old writing style inspires me

[brainswithbron]

My art club is literally the best thing I’ve ever been in. The club leader was dabbing to a song as a bunch of students were dancing behind her and my friend was watching the Emperor’s New Groove and drew Yzma, then a kid painted her drawing to be a monstrosity, cackling, as she cackled right with him; people were shouting and chanting Bob Ross’ name as the same kid that painted Yzma was pretending to be Bob Ross, another kid claimed to be Ross Bob, a girl was watching Moana and a group of more members were singing along with the movie, and when we left, we were singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs and scared two students who were in a different club away.

Oh yeah–my club leader is also into anime

[hedgieobsessor]

Yesterday in Art Club

Teacher: Anyone have any questions, comments, grievances, or concernes? Student: *points at friends* I have concerns about these two.

[ivygreeneyes]

March 24, 2017

[rambling-camel]

How I accidentally started an art club

So at my school, you can do one elective each semester, and unless that elective is band or choir, you cant do it both semester. I love art so I did it the first semester. when the the first semester ended, I still wanted to do art so I talked to my art teacher. He said I could come after school, but I would need someone else to come with me in case he had to leave for something. So I got my friend and we start coming after school. After about 2 weeks, I told Alex about it and she asked If she could come, and so she started coming. After that, my our other friend asked if she could come to. So she starts coming, and that Alex invited this guy and he started coming. After that 3 other people started coming (idk how they found out, none of us told them). The are sort of annoying because before, we would sit quietly and work on art, and they are basically theater kids with a love for art. They always talk a lot, play music and are just general loud. Just this week they invited 2 other people I don’t know. One of the people actually does things, but I don’t like the other. She just puts on music really loud and dances and talks (aka doing anything but art). She also called Alex a cracker and yeah. The my first friend and the guy stopped coming, and now there are 7 people regularly coming to this art club that I started by accident. So yeah.

[siramasagenav]

In the last scene , Todd did feel the flow of the universe or whatever

Like remember when Dirk was telling Todd to close his eyes and try to feel the next move and Todd said he felt that he needed to go to the bathroom. Well that actually was the next step because he needed to leave so he wouldn't follow Dirk outside. He needed to leave so that everything could go downhill.