[froggiethelesbian]

I found a guide for a no tape, easy to unwrap wrapping tutorial to make Christmas a little more accessible, wish I just found it sooner

[animatingforfun]

For Christmas this year, I got a Jurassic Park Velociraptor toy, and even though it’s now a few days past Christmas, I decided to make this stopmotion video because I couldn’t stop laughing at the idea. Enjoy!

Animated with Stop Motion Studio Pro app on my iPad.

[higglety]

This is a masterpiece

[milfleeta]

someone should’ve introduced data to crochet. i think that would’ve been good for him.

[milfleeta]

crochet can’t be replicated by a machine but one of the central points of data as a character is that he’s not just a machine. just imagine someone giving him a hook and some worsted weight yarn, and he makes an absolute beaut of an afghan and then geordi probably mentions that he hears crochet can’t be done by a machine and then the look on data’s face, u know the look. u get the vision.

[cipher-fresh]

[ID: A reaction image of Lisa Simpson crying /End ID]

[prismatic-bell]

Y’all.

Y’all I could cry.

THE RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE ACT HAS BEEN PASSED BY BOTH HOUSE AND SENATE AND IS READY FOR BIDEN TO SIGN.

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE AND INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE ARE NOW EXPLICIT LAW OF THE LAND AND DO NOT REQUIRE “INTERPRETATION” OF THE CONSTITUTION.

[zaatanna-moved]

anyway just a reminder for the myth lovers out there

king arthur was welsh. merlin was welsh. camelot was in wales. the lady and the lake she pops out of; welsh. excalibur; magic inanimate welsh object. etc.

on the way to see family, i drive past a lake that in which is welsh legend, is the last resting place of excalibur.

i’m just saying in my experience a lot of these legends had been so anglo-fied in the past and it’s like, all this cool shit is celtic welsh legend.

[jackironsides]

Arthur’s wife was called Gwenhwyfar first.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Like the kraken I emerge, summoned by the English theft of Arthur

Arthur is a Welsh name. It means ‘bear’. He’s likely derived from a Gaulish bear god

In the form of King Arthur, he is an anti-Saxon mythological WELSH figure, representing the native Brythonic people of Britain against the Anglo-Saxon invaders, dating from the 500s AD

The version appropriated by the English in the 1100s is the shitty boring sanitised version - they did it because they were trying to compete with the romance tradition on the continent at the time but didn’t have anything of their own to romanticise

Merlin is called Myrddin

Percival is Peredur

Kay is Cei, and also was subject to enormous character assassination in the English version - in the Welsh version he’s much closer to Arthur’s right hand man

Guinevere is Gwenhwyfar

There is no Lancelot, no Galahad, no tedious affair story

There is no Camelot. Arthur’s seat was Caerllion - modern Caerleon, putting him into both the region of the Silures (one of the most fearsome and warlike of the British tribes, modern South East Wales) and the old Roman fortress, which would have been an impossibly huge Palace for a warlord at the time.

They all have super powers and get up to wacky hijinks involving hair care, giants, strange giant wildlife, spectral revolving/glass fortresses in the Celtic sea, and a really fucking weird chess match. Also a cloak made out of beards.

What the fuck is the round table

Anyway it’s particularly irritating because traditional Welsh culture and beliefs have been so thoroughly stripped away and destroyed by England over the centuries, and Arthurian legend is one of the few surviving fragments we have left to preserve. And he’s specifically an anti-English figure. So the ubiquity of the boring and appropriative English Arthur across the whole fucking world is… Well, it’s not great.

[undergoingcalibrations]

For those interested in Arthuriana’s Welsh roots, besides the original texts, I personally recommend Phillip Reeves’ Here Lies Arthur which is a sort of speculative historical novel about the events that might have inspired the original Welsh cycle (featuring genderfluid interpretations of both Peredur and the “Lady in the Lake”, the latter of which is the perspective character)

[a-list-of-moods]

despite what popular opinion may lead you to believe, some rocks actually do have scientifically-proven auras! Unfortunately, those rocks are uranium and the aura is cancer. 

[clatterbane]

[guerrillatech]

[reluctantbroodingdads]

So as an Antarctic expert I need to add to this that we had not in fact been to Antarctica when it was named. The ancient Greeks decided that because there was an Arctic at the top of the world, with bears, there had to be an opposite at the other end, without bears. Which is kind of ridiculous except that the fuckers were dead on

[undergoingcalibrations]

This is a common misconception: see, while Arctic and Antarctic do come from the Greek (Arctos) for bear, they’re not referring to the presence of the bears on the land.

They’re talking about the bears in the sky.

The constellations we call Ursa Major and Ursa Minor (or the Big and Little Dipper) have long been imagined as depicting bears (Ursa/Ursus being the Latin for bear). These constellations are found in the far Northern celestial hemisphere. To travel North was to follow the bear constellations, to follow Arctos. To travel South was to go in the opposite direction of the bear constellations, hence Antarctos and Antarctica. The Ancient Greek philosopher Artistotle could extrapolate Antarctica existed because based on earlier Egyptian calculations and the astronomy at the time it could be inferred the earth was symmetrical (not that everyone believed that model of existence at the time, but yes, understanding of the earth as a globe is that old). If the earth has a ‘top’, it must have a ‘bottom’. He didn’t make any claims about the presence or absence of actual, living bears there, he just knew it was in the opposite direction of the bear stars, hence the name. 

It’s simply a pleasant coincidence that bears on earth obey the whims of the bears in Heaven, to allow for this etymological confusion.

[jame7t]

are you eating poisons? deadly poisons? and youe didnt share? can i have some of your poisons. Can i have some of your deadly poisons

[noelle-ism]

dogs when youre eating chocolate or grapes

[amaraqwolf]

Are you trapped on tumblr right now?

Is there something you planned to do before you got trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Are you yelling at yourself to get up and do the thing, but you can’t, because you’re trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Consider this your save point.

Put tumblr down, stand up, stretch, and go do the thing you planned to do. Future you will be incredibly grateful.

[amaraqwolf]

Things people in the notes have been able to do thanks to this post:

eat breakfast

go to bed

get out of bed

take a shower

write

practice

watch Superman Returns and write a paper on it

retain shreds of sanity

I need y’all to know that you’re doing amazing, and I’m so glad that I was able to help you break out of a procrastination loop you did not want to be stuck in.

[sandersstudies]

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

[fuitgummyworm]

Me, culturally Protestant, walking into a Catholic church filled balls to the walls with paintings sculptures candles and god knows what else: why’s there so much stuff

[fantasticmojo47]

Me, Orthodox, walking into a western church:  w h e r e   a r e   t h e   b o n e s

[odin-n-out]

Me, vampire, walking into any denominational holy place: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[hungry-hyena]

Me, a janitor, sweeping up the vampires ashes: where the fUCk did all this dirt come from

[unsubconscious]

Love In Bloom Kintsugi vase by Marc Antonio  

[historicaltimes]

Cleaning women washing a crucifix, 1938

via reddit

[thewolfbroughtindoors]

Me, thinking they’re hosing an emaciated child down the stairs: oh jesus…

Me, realizing it is in fact our lord and savior on the cross: oh, Jesus…

[jocollins]

i should not be laughing about that note

[allthingslinguistic]

The International Phonetic Alphabet consonants found in English, with keywords and relevant parts of the mouth highlighted and colour-coded. (Source.) 

[pervocracy]

Pronouncing each of these in sequence is a very strange and amusing physical sensation, and I highly recommend it.

[elodieunderglass]

haha look it’s where those noises live in your dang FACE, TRY IT

[hjoed-deactivated20220525]

I’m a linguists and I’m legit obsessed with this visualisation 😍

[vicshush]

[Text ID :

A diagram demonstrating where various English language phonetics (sounds as parts of words, specifically) are pronounced within the mouth and throat.

Twenty-four letters and characters representing sounds are arrayed in an arc over a stylized diagram of a human head, with a cutaway showing the shape of the inside of the mouth and part of the throat. The letters are color coded by eight types.

While the letters and characters representing sounds can be read from a normal orientation, the words demonstrating each sound are angled at about ninety degrees, to fit the words close together. The words follow the arc of the letters/characters and the names of the sections of the mouth and throat where the sounds are made. Starting at the left end and the front of the mouth, words can be read by tipping your head to the right. This flips about halfway through the arc. Section : letter/sound, and (example) are listed in quotes below. A description of the part of the mouth and throat encompassed by the section follows.

“Bilabial : p (spy) b (baby) m (man) w (wood)” This section is connected by a dotted red line to the diagram indicating that the sounds are made with the front of the lips.

“Labio-dental : f (fall) v (very)” This section is connected by a dotted orange line to the diagram indicating that the sounds are made with the back of the lips.

Interdental : [the letters highlighted are the ‘th’, in both of these examples] θ (thought) ð (breathe)“ This section is connected by a dotted yellow line to the diagram indicating that the sounds are made with the front of the mouth, just inside of the lips.

“Alveolar : t (top) d (dad) s (sad) z (zebra) [text changes orientation ; you now read it by tipping your head to the left] ɾ [the letters highlighted in this example are the double ’t’] (butter) n (nope) l (light)” This section is connected by a dotted green line to the diagram indicating that the sounds are made at the front sixth of the roof of the mouth.

“Post-alveolar : r (red) ʃ [the letters highlighted in this example are the ‘sh’] (should) ʒ [the letter highlighted in this example is the ’s’] (asia)” This section is connected by a dotted teal (blue green) line to the diagram indicating that the sounds are made at the second sixth (from the front) of the roof of the mouth.

“Palatal : j [the letter highlighted in this example is the ‘y’] (yes)” This section is connected by a dotted medium blue line to the diagram indicating that the sound is made at the middle third of the roof of the mouth.

“Velar : k [the letter highlighted in this example is the ‘c’] (cat) g (go) ŋ [the letters highlighted in this example are the ‘ng’] (sing)” This section is connected by a dotted violet line to the diagram indicating that the sounds are made at the back third of the roof of the mouth.

“Glottal : h (happy) ʔ (uh-oh [a tiny black arrow points to the hyphen in ‘uh-oh’ to emphasize that it is the break in this compound sound that is represented])” This section is connected by a dotted indigo blue line to the diagram indicating that the sounds are made at the top of the windpipe (trachea), where the larynx (voice box) is. This is shown to be just below the point where the windpipe diverges from the food pipe (esophagus).

Beneath the diagram, text reads “English IPA” and “www.languagebasecamp.com”.

/end text]

This is neat and all, but I was expecting this to be a nerdy beer label and am faintly disappointed.

[alexseanchai]

tags by youdieinstantly: #hello this is why lipreading is so hard #there’s very little visual difference between phonemes within the colors and the ones at the back of the throat aren’t visible at all

[uwuplasmiusuwu]

I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:

They were free.

They were fucking free.

They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.

Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.

Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.

At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.

In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.

Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.

That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.

[uwuplasmiusuwu]

After thinking about it for 15 minutes, I now know where the fuck my gremlin tendencies come from. I was always a little shit, and I always tried to be helpful, but this? This was when 19-year-old me realized that chaotic and good are not mutually exclusive.

The world has not known peace since.

[souperluminal]

Thinking about a duct tape wizard

[m0uthbr3ather]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

[skwinky]

I always need this on my blog.

[xopachi]

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

[tootsiebb]

Yes

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]