She would, in fact, download a car
Noah Kahan

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@skippy209
She would, in fact, download a car
Wow thanks for the ingot man let me just inspect the quality real quick
Dude come on
grian's newest episode explained
happy republic day to all the italian tumblrinas gnc
pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say
I’ve been awake for two hours tops and I’ve already googled if lube is flammable and debated on which material fantasy straps are made out of, I fear my day has been too productive already
the eridians have this beautiful, transcendant concept called the thrum where they come together to form a hive mind in order to discuss scholarly pursuits and solve their peoples greatest issues which resulted in them building a space ship to save their planet
and the human race has eva stratt with her two cups of coffee
Grace, explaining how humans evolved: yeah so basically we evolved to be persistance predators where we would just slowly walk towards our prey and track it until it got so tired it couldn't fight back or run away and then we killed it :)
Rocky, who is an Eridian, an AMBUSH predator, who can't see light and so cannot track things the way humans can, and that doesn't have a lot of stamina and literally won't be able to wake up once they fall asleep: grace what the fuck statement--
Quick doodle
Humans being persistent predators is probably a terrifying concept to Eridians. A creature that slowly follows you until your body forces you to sleep knowing you will be unable to wake up as they inevitably get closer and closer.
Grace’s explanation of old human hunting practices probably spawned a whole new genre of horror on Erid.
Having a terrible time at your first ever job will alter your brain chemistry btw
Channeled my axe-throwing, spider haver dnd character at the ren faire a bit too much yesterday, ended up with countless little spiders crawling on me during the day and coming in second at the axe throwing competition
SHAKE AROUND THAT PATHETIC WOMAN. PUT HER IN A BLENDER. THROW HER AT A WALL. CHEW ON HER. IM TIRED OF YOUR MEN ITS TIME TO TOSS AROUND YOUR GIRL BLORBO LETS GOOOO
no, Eva Stratt is not a pathetic woman. she’s quite the opposite actually
"grace. grace! grace give attention. rocky perform human ritual of escape closet now. statement."
"come again?"
"i learn more from thinking machine. human gender preference. attraction to same gender, means word 'gay.' all eridian same gender." rocky stands straight up. "rocky come out to grace now. all rocky plural gay, statement."
"...wow, that's... rock, i'm not sure it makes much sense to apply human ideas of sexual orientation to a monogendered species."
a long and judgmental pause. then:
"grace HOMOPHOBIC, question????"
Has this been done yet?
Where’s that one post that’s like Reasons Why My Wife Cried This Week and when are we gonna get a fanfic of that but Ryland Grace.
Reasons my human has cried:
* New student, very small. Grace said it was pebble. Pebble is small Earth rock. Pebble likes name.
* He found out Eridians have no gender rules.
* Students brought him mineral sample. After he stopped crying he said he loves show-and-tell game. Human naming conventions oddly literal.
* I told him Earthsun grew bright.
* I took him up atop atmosphere bypass elevator to look at stars.
* He woke up from nap and found me still with him. I did not wait on his chest; he says I am heavy like “elephant” and he “couldn’t breathe.” I laid my arm over him instead, kept him close, feeling safe. He said “cuddle” was warm.
* Before class he heard younglings singing.
* He has plants in house from sprouts on ship. Plant grew “bud.”
* Engineers got seawater temperature right. He took off shoes and stood in water, sighing. He didn’t care about pants getting damp. Cried until shirt was also damp. Humans very endlessly wet.
* He missed “Doritos.”
* Adrian helped food scientists make taumoeba dried paste. Made it crunchy after heating. We fused it into triangle form. Told him it was Tauritos. That made him laugh-cry. Laugh-cry is rare and precious.
* He remembered Eridians have no gender rules.
* We made him celebration outfit. Used metals he calls pretty. He can see frequencies named “colorful” and “shiny.” These make humans happiest.
* I gave him hug when he wasn’t expecting it. Easier to hug close now with exosuit. Hug when Grace sitting down so he does not fall over.
* Told him to think long time, stay with me as long as he can.
Can you imagine being stuck in space completely alone with only the corpses of your friends for company, and the first living thing you meet after 46 years of that misery is a fucking weird alien creature who just rolls up with crazy advanced tech and goes "hi let's work together" and makes it possible for you to save your world through the power of friendship and molecular biology. AND THEN you find out that in this creature's language, its name means "mercy". Happened to my good friend Rocky btw