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Tagging @swfandomevents, @femslashfandomevents, @wipbigbang, @polyamships, and @thebigbangblogproject ♡
“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.
still thinking about ilya teaching shane how to fuck his girlfriend in this university au, and well.
* * *
“Oh my god, Hollander, what are you doing?”
Hollander throws Ilya a dirty look and throws his free hand up. “I’m trying to finger my girlfriend,” he snaps. “Like you asked, asshole.”
Ilya bites his tongue so he doesn’t grin, or worse, laugh. Hollander’s irritation buzzes over his skin, making him giddy. “Are you? Because it looks like you’re trying to find your boring car keys in there.”
Out of the corner of his eyes, Ilya sees Jessica purse her lips until they’re bloodless. Her hand twitches, as if to fly to her mouth, but instead, places it on Hollander’s forearm.
“Fuck you.”
Oh, a boy can dream. Maybe one day. Maybe soon.
Ilya traces the sullen, embarrassed look on Hollander’s face and grins to himself when Hollander won’t meet his gaze, eyes skirting around. He shouldn’t have pity, he normally doesn’t have, or at least not with most people. But Hollander is...Hollander is so boring, it’s hard to not take pity on him.
Carefully, Ilya shifts. Hollander’s eyes immediately zero in on his movement, tracking it warily, and it’s hilarious, really, but right now, Ilya does not want to spook him. It’s important that he doesn’t spook him.
Hollander’s fingers have slipped out of his girlfriend and Ilya grabs his wrist. Hollander jolts as if Ilya has shocked him with a taser. As if he’s always taken by surprised to be touched. Touched by Ilya. Hollander isn’t afraid of touch. He’s not afraid of bodies crashing into him, checking him, pushing him.
And yet, he startles whenever Ilya touches him and his eyes drop to where they’re connected.
Hollander’s breath hitches a little. He turns his big brown eyes on Ilya. It makes his stomach do funny things, Hollander’s attention. His naked wish to be guided. He regularly tells Ilya to fuck off and die, but it’s always so plainly in his eyes, his desire to be good for someone.
Ilya wonders if Hollander knows who he wants to be good for.
He guides Hollander’s hand back to Jessica’s pussy. “Imagine you’re looking for new tape.”
As far as comparisons go, this isn’t ideal, but then nothing hockey related works for trying to teach Hollander how to fuck his petite little girlfriend.
“What?”
“I’m tape now?” Jessica asks at the same time, head raised to look at him. There’s a grin on her face, though. She always surprises him.
“Yes, now shhhh,” he tells her and she drops her head with a huff of laughter while Ilya focuses back on Hollander.
“Why would I look for new tape?” he asks with a frown. His wrist is heavy in Ilya’s hand. “I like the tape I’m using.”
Ilya breathes through the raw urge to kiss him. “Is metaphor, Hollander, focus.”
Hollander’s cheeks pink up so sweetly and he nods, mouthing okay.
“You’re careful, yes? Getting a feel for it?”
Hollander scowls but it seems like he’s doing it to himself more than to anyone else. Gingerly, he pushes two fingers back into Jessica’s cunt when Ilya nudges his fingers against it.
“See how it feels and moves when you touch it,” Ilya continues. He lifts his gaze to look at Hollander and finds him already staring back at him.
Ilya watches his face, watches Hollander’a eyes flick down to his lips and linger there. It sets off a buzzing in his head whenever he catches Hollander staring at him like this: lost in his own head and with a hunger in his eyes that looks like he has never even thought of sating. Ilya wets his lips unthinkingly.
Hollander blinks rapidly when he shakes himself out of it, eyes skittering away again, and he licks his lips, too.
Ilya shifts closer to him again, remembering why he’s here. With sure fingers, he grips Hollander’s wrist and enjoys the full-body shudder that runs through him at the touch. Slowly, Ilya pulls his hand back.
“The...lips are very sensitive, too,” he points out and draws Hollander’s fingers over her pussy. Hollander’s breath brushes over his cheek, little shallow shivery things that tickle the hair at Ilya’s temple.
Ilya lifts his head again and Hollander jerks back, as if he suddenly realized how close he’s drifted.
“I can do it,” he mutters, pissy, and shakes Ilya’s hand off. His hand looks huge against her cunt.
“Yes, sure,” Ilya says and shrugs, curling his hand into the sheets. “You don’t need me at all.”
“Fucking asshole.” Hollander looks deliciously flushed and angry.
“No, we have to teach you how to fuck pussy first.”
“Oh my god.” Jessica covers her face, trying to hide her laugh, but her body almost shakes with it.
Hollander has this look in his eyes like he’s considering murder while also looking utterly mortified. Ilya winks at him and ignores the way his stomach flutters at the way Hollander’s flush deepens.
shoutout to project hail mary for showing one of the biggest and what sometimes feels like most unattainable aroace fantasies coming true: having a best friend who doesn't value you less than their romantic partner.
Happy Pride!!! Bringing trans Anakin back around again because I will never stop.
A reminder you can choose whether the F is his birth assignment or whether he got it changed to the F bc I don't wanna be using birth assignment as its own kind of binary.
obi-wan’s force ghost post rotj: you did it, luke. you didn’t listen to the emperor and resisted the temptation to fall to the dark side.
anakin’s force ghost: yeah…I mean. he did just meet palpatine like, right then. and they talked for like five minutes. it’s not like the emperor spent fifteen years grooming him…engaging in psychological warfare to engender his trust and manipulate him…he was kind of just some guy telling him to be evil. just saying. but yeah definitely. good job luke.
I think asexuals across the favorable-averse spectrum could benefit from accepting that asexuality is a different experience for different people, and we should be able to talk about our experiences without a plethora of disclaimers attached.
If I see a post along the lines of "the asexual urge to write the horniest fic possible" I recognize that while that is not at all my experience of asexuality, it is theirs, and I don't feel a need to say "hang on, that's not the case for everyone, that's just your experience, don't generalize!" Because they are making a post about themself and others like them, not about me.
And along these same lines, when an asexual conflates their asexuality with their disinterest in/dislike of sex, perhaps you could simply assume that that is their experience, and that those things are intertwined for them, even if they didn't add seven disclaimers about how being favorable is also Real and Valid and Awesome and Cool. Like, maybe they're talking about them, not being sex-negative and invalidating You Personally.
(Maybe non-favorable aces should not be constantly presumed to be puritanical sex-negative prudes for vocalizing any distaste for sex, and expected to affirm sex-positivity at every opportunity, as if it's an activism membership card that absolves us of the terrible sin of not being too enthusiastic about sex.)
an important note: true sex positivity revolves around each individual’s sexual autonomy—including both the autonomy to own their own sexuality with pride, and the autonomy to avoid discussions of sex and not have or want sex. anyone who accuses aces of puritanism or sex negativity simply for not wanting to be directly involved in discussions of sex or participate in sexual acts is not practicing sex positivity, they’re just being an aphobic asshole. sex positivity isn’t about “not being a prude,” it’s about destroying rape culture and culturally mandated sexual repression, neither of which requires EVERYONE to have, want, or even talk about sex.
b4 someone says “just curate ur internet experience,” first of all this also happens in person, second of all, like, yes, everyone has a responsibility to butt out when a discussion doesn’t include them directly, but when someone is speaking directly to an asexual about sex and that ace says “i don’t want to hear about that,” that’s not fucking sex negativity it’s making a request that should be honored by any sex positive person worth their salt.
I never really understand the trope where a character is embarrassed by their parents showing their baby pictures to their partner, because honestly I'm petty sure if i had a partner I'd be the first one to show off my photo albums lol
you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too
Obikin where Obi-Wan was pretty affectionate when he was raising Anakin & Anakin giggles n reminiscents abt a cute childhood memory during post coital cuddling while Obi-Wan is having a crisis about him fucking his son vs Obikin where Obi-Wan struggled with showing how much he cares about his Padawan and really only managed to openly say that to Anakin after they started dating and Anakin is kind of having a crisis about having to sleep with his dad to be praised by him
I neeeeeed Obi-Wan to be the one yearning/pining/pursuing in Obikin fics because in canon so much of their dynamic around aotc is Anakin asking for affection n reassurance and Obi-Wan trying to dodge the conversation because he's uncomfortable with open emotions.
And by rots he figured it out and he's finally in a place where he can tell Anakin that he cares to his face. But at this point Anakin just.. kinda gave up. He dosen't trust Obi-Wan with anything that's important to him and he honestly kinda believes that Obi-Wan is the perfect Jedi who dosen't love anything or anyone.
And thats!!! Why!!! Obi-Wan needs to commit to the mortifying ordeal of being known!!! That's why it's appealing when he loudly says that he loves Anakin!!! Obi-wan confessing his love is my JAM dude, I need that man bright red and stuttering and still soldiering thru or utterly indignant and loudly yelling it at Anakin's face because how dare he not know how deeply he is loved!!!
I Have A Bad Feeling About This @sky-kenobye - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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