âYou two have a really weird relationship, you know that, right?â
The two Force ghosts in front of Luke froze mid-bicker.
Anakinâs eyebrows were knotted in offended disbelief, Obi-Wanâs face flattened with skeptical disapproval. Both looked taken aback at Lukeâs apparent audacity to interrupt their very important conversation about haircuts (Luke resisted the urge to roll his eyes).
âLuke,â Anakin began paternally (an effect somewhat ruined by the fact that his Force ghost looked a barely twenty member of a teen boy synth band â on a good day), âYââ
âDonât Luke me!â  Luke sprung out an accusing finger from where he sat (had sat. For hours. While Dad and Obi-Wan had argued. Over haircuts.)
âThisââ Luke waved his hand around in the general direction of the two, âThis is not normal.â
Two blue, flickering mouths dropped at the same time. Two unimpressed voices spoke immediately.
âLukeââ âSonââ
âYou two canât tell me that you donât see it.â Luke crossed his arms. When heâd first spoken with the two Force ghosts, heâd been delighted that theyâd seem to have made up. Years â decades â worth of injuries and betrayals forgiven, the friendship born anew. It had been beautiful, and Luke genuinely meant that. Even after everything that had happened, the fiery chaos and turmoil, they had found their way back to each other. Governments might rise and fall, people born and die, but Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker had returned to each other at the end of it all, after the anguish, loss, and bloodshed, casting aside their differences and embracing each other in forgiveness. Â
Luke had been pleased. Had being the key word in that sentence. He had thought heâd see two old friends reconnect, the good friend Obi-Wan had mentioned being his good friend again, get a glimpse of who they had been before.
Instead, Luke had witnessed something that defied description. Defied normalcy. Something that, with every new piece of information, only became more confusing.
Luke had learned that Obi-Wan had been Anakinâs friend, yes â simple! Straightforward! â but heâd then learned that Obi-Wan had also raised Anakin like a parent, but had also been Anakinâs best friend, but Anakin had also considered Obi-Wan his father, but also his older brother, but also his Master, but also his best friend, but alsoâthe list went on. In terms of a family tree, it felt more like a tangle of bushwire. A tumbleweed, always moving, just when you thought you had pinned it down.
âThis!â Luke waved his arms in their general direction again. âYou two â you two need an intervention!â
Anakin and Obi-Wan shared a look (That was another thing, Luke had learned they had a lot of looks â at least this wasnât their smirking one). He raised an eyebrow, expecting his father to start thundering on about nonsense, but â but Obi-Wan began instead, in a somewhat stern tone.
âLuke, I donât know what you could possibly mean. As I told you years ago, your father and I are good friends. I should think it obvious.â
âYou watched over his children for twenty years!â Luke spluttered. âThat goes a little beyondââ
âWouldn't you do the same for Hanâs child, if necessary?â
âYeah, Obi-Wan and I are like brothers â just like you and Han,â Anakin nodded.
âI thought that he raised you.â Luke settled back into his seat stubbornly. Time to hammer out what exactly this was. Today. If only to make them see how weird their relationship was, their in-no-way-romantic-but-absolutely-not-platonic bond. Their best friend/brother/father/son/somewhat soulmate connection. Which made Luke have a thought. Huffing, he added, âHonestly, the only thing you two havenât done together is raise a child.â
Obi-Wan and Anakin simultaneously froze.
âIn my defense,â Anakin started, âObi-Wan tricked me into doing it.â
âTricked you! I can assure you, Anakin, everything was above board.â
âYou basically forged my signature on adoption papers. I know for a fact masters had to sign something, and I sure as hell never saw anything.â
âYou agreed in the end, didnât you?â
âHold on a minute!â Luke interrupted with a stutter, âYou two did raise a child together? You twoââ In his head, a mental scroll unfurled of the long (very long) list of buckets that their relationship fit into, and a feather pen scratched a new addition of coparents.
âWell, not strictly speaking,â Anakin reflected. âShe was a teenââ
âI have another sibling?â
âNo,â Obi-Wan shook his head instantly, âShe was more likeâŠwell, I suppose you could call her Anakinâs little sister.â
âYeah, also Obi-Wanâs Grand-Padawan. So, kind of your aunt and cousin, Luke.â Â
Luke gave up. He had told Leia (who had raised an amused eyebrow but remained silent, which should have been his first warning sign), in no uncertain terms, that he was going to confront his father and Obi-Wan about their friendship, stage an intervention of sorts, try to tumble it in a somewhat healthy and normal direction â but he was discovering that he had bravely marched up to the confrontation only to find he had brought a knife, not to a blaster fight, but to a kazoo concert. Whatever was happening, he didnât know how to handle it.
âFine. Fine,â Luke muttered, running his hand through his hair. âYou win. This is normal.â He added under his breath, âWhatever normal is, anyway.â Consider him defeated, and soundly. He should have known better than to take on The Team. His mistake.
Although, he had been desperate. The idea for the intervention had come when he had been woken up in the middle of the night (not for the first time) by them arguing over his bed about who had had a worse time on Tatooine. Theyâd said it wasnât their fault he was so attuned to them, but it had sounded like, as Uncle Owen would say, a bunch of last minute bullshavit to cover buffoonery. Maybe he should have gone down Leiaâs path of no contact. That was looking fairly appealing right about now; sounding very appealing, given the sharp sounds that had risen up from the twoâs direction.
âFor the last time, Anakin, it was nine times. Not ten,â a clipped voice echoed across the clearing.
âI seem to remember you saying it was ten at one point.â
âBecause you refused to let me onto the ship until I did!â Â
Luke wanted to slam his head against a tree. Normal. This was normal. Sure.
