Sleep_Deprived_Menace

I am in a state of constant and extreme exhaustion and not responsible for my actions in this state. You can call me Jay- she/her pronouns- I have audhd, hEDS, depression and anxiety going for me soo :P

[thirstkanaphan]

[blackshvck]

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

[angels-changeling]

Building off my last post about Simon’s mutations being dormant for the most part, but triggered during periods of high emotional distress

[the-doodle-darling]

thought about Adrian and Rocky and the opening of Would You Fall In Love With Me Again, and now im crying

[coast-modern]

isn't it kind of crazy that for any moving vehicle you need to wear a seatbelt but then on buses they're just like fuck it stand up whatever

[what-even-is-thiss]

In a battle between a city bus and your mom’s 2009 Toyota Corolla the bus will usually win

[charaznablescanontoyota]

words of wisdom from wikipedia this evening

[sleep-deprived-menace]

This reads like something said by Lemony Snicket

[charaznablescanontoyota]

words of wisdom from wikipedia this evening

[ryannorth]

much to consider

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 76 (masterpost here)

Bruce: Robin, stop stalling, we need to get back in the air.

Damian: can we not stay down here for a few more minutes? one of the workers of the food truck just told me they'd give me a free hot chocolate.

Dick, dryly: well thank heavens they won't charge you, because you know we're running low on cash.

Jason: *snicker*

Bruce: shut up, both of you. and Robin, you know you aren't supposed to take food or drink from civilians on patrol. who knows who those people might be working for? they could drug anything they give you.

Damian: *thoughtful hum* ...i accept those terms.

*a beat*

Bruce, baffled: what terms?

Damian, innocently: the terms that in exchange for a free hot chocolate i must roll the dice on being drugged. i view this as a fair exchange.

Jason: *laughing again*

Bruce: Robin- *abruptly cutting himself off* Red Hood, knock it off or i'll have you moved from this line. Robin, you cannot act as if being drugged isn't a big deal, it isn't funny.

Damian: but it isn't a big deal. do you know how many times i've been drugged, Father? by allies, enemies, friends, foes; it's not rare in the life i lead.

Bruce: *concerned* what.

Dick, curious: Robin, you're fourteen. what 'friends' do you have that are drugging you?

Damian: well off the top of my head; Hood once gave me weed.

Bruce, voice dropping three octaves: excuse me?

Jason: ay aY AY AY- UNDER THE TERMS THAT YOU DON'T FUCKING SNITCH ON ME?!?!?!?! ROBIN?!?!

*a beat*

Dick: well, there goes your pass at deniability.

Damian: ...ah, right. apologies, Father. i was mistaken. i have never been drugged by a friend. a brother, on the other hand,

Jason: WHAT DID I DO TO YOU.

Damian, instantly: -broke my phone charger trying to strangle Red Robin.

Jason: ... *resigned* ...ok yeah.

Bruce, through gritted teeth: Red Hood. meet me back at the cave. now.

Jason: oh shut up- i own the iceberg lounge, you twat. i've seen you snort coke off a Pitbull impersonator's bald cap.

Bruce: JASON FUCKING TODD-

Jason: -jESUSOKFUCK I'M GOING-

[sabertoothwalrus]

don’t you hate when you feel like you’re forgetting something but you can’t remember what it is because you forgot about it and the absence of what it’s supposed to be is so present in your brain it’s like a popup ad in the corner of your field of vision and you can’t close out of it and you can’t see what it says but you also can’t see past it either. am I making any sense at all

[sabertoothwalrus]

it’s like someone put a sticky note on my forehead as a reminder but the words were written on the other side

[wolfythewitch]

furthest we've ever been

[zverenysh-kota]

I believe that dwarven hair (and beards) grow really slowly, especially after first century.

So that’s why cutting hair is so heavy deed - where human will grow it back relatively fast - dwarves will need literally decades to regrow at least part of it.

So no, Thorin didn’t need to trim his beard during the quest, and then all the dwarves were fascinated how fast Bilbo’s hair could grow.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

you know when sometimes something happens to you and you're like "oh well that's probably not normal. but idk how to begin looking into what this is so i guess i'll just ignore it"

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

sometimes if i experience a flavor of a temperature shift that's very very sudden (or sometimes just for no reason at all) i will get an involuntary full body chill that makes me audibly recoil, and all my muscles will kind of twitch for a moment like i'm being possessed by a ghoul. and sometimes for a split second i'll feel like i'm falling out of the front of my conscious mind. and then it stops. but i haven't died yet so i guess its fine

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

its normally from hot/room temperature to cold, but it could happen both ways. and sometimes it doesn't need a temperature trigger at all. the 'chills' i experience don't often feel cold per say. its just the only way to describe the way boy body suddenly seizes up and twitches mildly all over. it doesn't hurt, and it doesn't last for more than a second. it's just unusual. a strong flavor, or intense flavor variation one after another sometimes does it (going from something sweet and sour to something savory, just as a random example). and sometimes it doesn't appear to have much of a trigger at all…. maybe sometimes exhaustion can do it? i don't really know.

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

Things that actually happen in hunchback of notre dame, in no particular order

The book mostly is told from the POV of Pierre, a self-insert who is failed author and, I cannot stress this enough, utterly pathetic 

Quasimodo damaged his hearing as a teenager from years of bell ringing and now uses sign language whenever he can

There is a scene where Quasimodo and a fellow deaf guy have to have a conversation without using sign language because they’re in a courtroom and the jury doesn’t know sign. It goes about as well as you’d expect 

Frollo has a little brother, Jehan, who he raised after their parents died. Jehan is now a frat bro in college whose hobbies consist of getting drunk and being mean to Quasimodo. In his first scene Jehan complains about college DEI because an Italian guy got a scholarship he wanted. 

Esmeralda is accused of witchcraft because she taught her pet goat Djali how to do math

Djali may or may not be sapient. He can and does imitate human mannerisms to make fun of people on purpose. He does this while on trial. 

Yes. They tried the goat for witchcraft, too. 

Pierre writes a whole play riding on the pun of dolphin/Dauphin. Nobody likes it. 

Frollo is an alchemist and has a secret mad science lab where he writes on the walls

Jehan literally pulls a “buy my silence” and frollo gives him money to make him shut up

There’s a trio of catty girls who bully Esmeralda like it’s Mean Girls

Quasimodo and Frollo literally have Cryptid Status— Parisians circulate rumors that Quasimodo is either a familiar, a homunculus, or the result of demonic mpreg, and that Frollo is a wizard with wizard powers and/or a ghost

There is a little old woman who lives in a hole and shouts slurs at people. She has a tragic backstory. 

There is a homicidal con man/king of thieves named Clopin Troillefou (surname translation: The Fool of Fear) who deserves tumblr sexymanhood.

Pierre learns how to carry chairs with his teeth 

There’s an entire chapter dedicated to the layout of the streets of Paris in painstaking detail

There’s another chapter that is a rant about interior design 

Esmeralda and Pierre get platonically married due to Clopin’s murderous shenanigans. Pierre tries to make a move in her but ends up being more emotionally attached to Djali the goat than to her. I think that should be grounds for divorce

There is a scene where Pierre has to choose between helping Esmeralda escape or helping Djali. He picks Djali. 

Frollo hides from his own brother by laying face down in mud and playing dead. Somehow this works 

There is a Plot Significant Tiny Shoe. A Tiny Shoe Chekhov’s Gun. And Victor Hugo will not stop telling you just how Tiny this shoe is. 

There’s a soap opera style plot twist that involves a false accusation of cannibalism and the woman in the hole who shouts slurs

Quasimodo makes up a stupid little song that doesn’t even rhyme to confess his love to Esmeralda, who remains oblivious

He then attempts to demonstrate his affection via convoluted metaphors that involve props. She doesn’t get it. Boy please say what you mean

Frollo pulls the classic discord groomer tactic of threatening self-harm if Esmeralda doesn’t give in. 

Jehan rolls up to a party/rescue mission scheming session in Clopin’s secret hideout in full plate armor (how did he get that???), drunk off his ass, and acts like he owns the place. Everyone finds this so ridiculous that they just let him

Hugo goes on and on about how innocent and naive Esmeralda is but then casually reveals that Esmeralda carries a dagger on her person at all times to fend off assault. When Frollo attacks her and Quasi intervenes, she takes Quasi’s knife and almost kills Frollo (fair!) but he flees. She contains multitudes?

Frollo has a psychotic breakdown in the middle of a field surrounded by chickens and hallucinates skeletons everywhere 

For the first half of the book Esmeralda is like 70% sure Frollo is a ghost, not helped by his aforementioned Cryptid Status

Jehan eats a moldy piece of cheese off the ground 

Frollo tries to send Pierre on a suicide mission in drag. Pierre objects to the suicide part but not the drag part  

Clopin’s preferred weapon is a scythe, he’s very good at using it, and he sings when he fights. Again: sexyman potential. 

Victor Hugo has a foot fetish. I initially dismissed it as Frollo having a foot fetish until Victor Hugo included a foot fetish torture scene without any Frollo in it. So I can only conclude that the foot fetish is authorial in nature. Unfortunately the foot scenes are important to the plot. 

Frollo is canonically 36, he just aged like shit and is bald. The narrator will not stop telling you just how bald he is.

Despite being in full plate armor, Jehan gets splatted like a bug

Almost every named character dies. Djali the goat lives. 

[miiilowo]

having feelings that contradict your morals is soooo fucking annnoooooyyyiiingggggg. can the emotions and logic department get on the same page im tired of having to like strangle myself into being a tolerable person

[trans4trains]

[papayafromtv]

unrealistic to me that at no point during Jason's time in the League of Assassins was there a period of Ra's desperately trying to figure out what the fuck brought Jason back to life inside that coffin and that at no point was there a conversation that was like,

Jason, on a medical table for the twelfth experiment that day: how do we even know it was me, though?

Ra's: what do you mean?

Jason, shrugging: like- maybe i was just in a magic coffin. maybe it had nothing to do with me, maybe it was my environment. have you ever read the book 'pet cemetery'?

Ra's:

Ra's: *squints deeply*

Ra's: no. if it was the graveyard then you wouldn't be the only person that came back to life. you're being ridiculous.

Jason: i dunno. maybe it was just that one specific patch of grass.

Ra's:

Ra's: hm.

Bruce finds out Jason came back to life way earlier than planned because halfway through patrol he gets an alert of a disturbance at Gotham Cemetery and when he and Tim get there it's to see Jason and Ra's in the dark with headlamps on next to Jason's now dug-up grave, dirt everywhere as Jason holds a shovel and Ra's holds the corpse of a dead chicken over the hole, ready to lower it, surrounded by league assassins either standing guard or holding notebooks and pens for if something actually happens and Ra's wants to take notes.

Damian is in the car with the window cracked wrapped in Jason's jacket and tiredly playing temple run on Jason's phone while he waits for them to be done so they can go home. when he sees Bruce arrive he sighs loudly and does up the window. Batman and Robin land in the graveyard and everybody freezes like the scene in ratatouille when the humans catch the rats in the kitchen, and it takes Jason two solid weeks to convince Bruce that no, they were not trying to replace his corpse with a chicken, they were doing science-

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[frankensteinsmonst3r]

The concept of Arizona as Mordor is killing me

[fondesmode]

I think flinching is such a hit or miss reflex. Like yea a tiny bit of boiling water touched my hand but i dont think reflexivly throwing the water everywhere is a good defensive measure perhaps. might be even worse actually