[dogwise]

PRACTICE URGE SURFING

[dogwise]

[teumessianandlaelaps]

Huh, didn't know there was a term for it. This explains why I haven't been drinking as much lately.

[nightmaretour]

On the topic of scars I'd like to say that yeah, someone else's scars might be triggering to you based on your assumptions about them, however your discomfort does not under any circumstances come before their bodily autonomy. You don't get to decide what other people are allowed to wear for your comfort, you don't get to decide whether someone is allowed to be out in public if they can't hide their scars. How you feel about someone else's body isn't their fault and isn't their problem. You can move away if you really need to.

[sashayed]

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

[boomstab-papa]

[your-cosmic-creature]

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

[swiftrunnerfelidae]

"Kill your local sex offender!" Oh, you mean the guy who went streaking at his local college football game on a dare one time? That's a sex crime.

"No, I mean-"

Oh, maybe the woman who had to pee in a public park that only had pay toilets, so she tried to hide behind the bushes but got caught? Public urination is a sex crime.

"What? No, I mean-"

Oh, maybe you mean the homeless guy who had to strip down to get his clothes in the laundromat to clean them for the first time in weeks? He tried being subtle, but someone called the cops on him, and now he's on the sex offender registry for public nudity.

"Rapists and pedophiles! Kill rapists and pedophiles!"

Oh, like the trans woman who got called a pedophile groomer for helping a trans kid escape her abusive parents?

Or maybe the black man who got labeled a rapist because he came on to another man's wife, and he decided to get back at him by charging him with rape?

How about the 17 year olds who were fooling around, fully consensually, in one of their bedrooms? That's still technically underage sex and thus rape of a minor.

Oh, or maybe you're talking about the doctor who performed genital reconstructive surgery in a state that just voted to get that classified as rape?

People will do everything they can to get you convinced rape and pedophilia are the worst crimes possible, then accuse whoever they like the least of being either a rapist, a pedophile, or both, counting on you turning on them just for being accused of the crime.

"Oh, so you're saying you don't want to kill a serial rapist?"

That's exactly what I'm goddamn saying.

Once we decide a group is okay to kill, the government will do everything they can to convince you that their political enemies are either part of that group, or just as bad as that group, to get you to kill their enemies for them.

The only way out is to accept every life as worth saving.

EDIT: If you're going to go on this post to say that no, you think you really should be allowed to kill people you decide are rapists and/or pedophiles, I'm going to block you. I have already been blocking you, because it's clear that you aren't willing to engage with what I'm saying.

Also, if someone says something like that we'd be better off with rapists being dead BUT that they won't let that opinion shape their stance on public policy, and you reply to that person to accuse them of wanting to murder people, I'm also going to block you, because what the fuck that's a completely different sentence.

EDIT 2: Since so many people seem to fail basic reading comprehension, let's state it again, in different words:

1. Killing people is bad.

2. Killing someone can never be undone by any means we have.

3. If the government can kill people, they will want to kill their political opposition and other undesirables (WHICH CAN INCLUDE YOU PERSONALLY AND ANY IF NOT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY).

4. If there is a class of people OF ANY TYPE who the government can LEGALLY KILL, they now just need to convince you their enemies count as that class (ever wondered why there's so much emphasis on claiming gay people are pedophiles? Now you know!)

5. If there is a class of people OF ANY TYPE that the public can LEGALLY KILL, murderers just need to convince people that their victims counted as that class (I murdered him because he's a rapist. Anyway now his job is free promote me into that position plz.)

6. As pointed out in the notes (thank you everyone pointing this out!), if the penalty for a crime is death, people are much more willing to silence witnesses to that crime (for example, murdering their rape victims), which is EVEN WORSE than just committing the initial crime.

7. THEREFORE the only way to keep those from happening is to have NO category of people it is considered okay to kill FOR ANY REASON.

[tockthewatchdog]

we need to give this tweet more credit for im pretty sure coining "die mad about it"

[invertprivileges]

checks out, thank you melanie

[fandomsandfeminism]

I think you can tell a lot about how rigorous and committed someone's belief in a human right is by how quickly they are able to name people who they think could or should have that right taken away.

[fandomsandfeminism]

Like "X is a universal human right. (This doesn't include Y people though)"

Either you think X isn't actually a human right, or you think Y aren't people.

[fandomsandfeminism]

Some folks really did go straight to the replies to prove me right.

[hyperlexichypatia]

It's wild to me that people in the notes are all arguing about rapists and murderers and people deserving to get their human rights taken away for doing Bad Things, and...

Yeah, sure, serial killers deserve human rights too, but isn't there a more obvious demographic you're sliding right by? Isn't there a demographic of people so thoroughly erased by human rights discourse that their rights aren't even debated, it's just taken for granted that human rights don't apply to these people?

(It's minors. I'm talking about minors. Also disabled/neurodivergent adults under institutionalization/guardianship who have been reduced to the legal status of minors.)

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I literally do this as a first-day activity in my childhood studies courses.

I take a poll: "how many of you would agree that 'everyone deserves the right to privacy' is a pretty uncontroversial statement?"

when 95% of them have put their hands up, I say "now, what if I clarify that 'everyone' includes children?"

and as everyone lowers their hands slowly and gives me a confused look like a deer in headlights, I tell them "okay. this class is about what it means to not be part of 'everyone'."

[latter-ace-saint]

How to talk to children

This is based on decades of experience as an uncle and as an older brother.

Never forget that children are just as much people as adults are.

Kids 10 years or younger (and sometimes older than that) don’t get sarcasm or irony, so don’t use them.

If a child has difficulty pronouncing a word, don’t copy their misprounciation when speaking to them. They can hear the word just fine. It could sound to them like you’re making fun of them.

(Yes, this means no babytalk)

Don’t be dismissive.

Listen to what they’re saying.

To get on the same eye-level, don’t bend over or squat: it seems condescending. Kneeling or sitting are better.

It should go without saying that you should respect children’s body autonomy. Don’t force affection on them.

Respect children’s emotional autonomy as well. Let them be angry. Let them be sad. Don’t force them to be happy.

Let children like things. Don’t run down the things they like just because you find them cringy.

Don’t think that you know better.

To children, adults are giants. Be a big friendly giant.

Don’t stifle children’s curiosity.

Don’t stifle children’s enthusiasm.

To quote Sondheim, “Be careful the words you say, children will listen.”

Don’t look down on children.

[jadedaceofspades-deactivated202]

When I worked at the before and after school program, I had all elementary school ages and this list is perfectly defined how to talk to kids.

One thing I want to add is: let kids just play. Let them use their imagination. If they’re running too fast but they think they’re sonic the hedgehog, just tell them “be a slower sonic so you don’t fall down.”

[directactionforhope]

Not only is having intergenerational friendships literally not creepy, imho it's actually essential. You NEED friends who are older to do things like help you when there's a problem with your taxes, and give you job advice, and relationship advice, and especially if you are part of a marginalized group, and especially if you're part of a marginalized group and don't have contact with a ton of other members of it, you need older friends to show you that there IS a future for you, for people like you, and what it looks like, and the way it doesn't even have to involve turning into your parents

[hiccup-queen]

conversely, you need friends who are younger to help introduce you to new ideas. You need friends who are younger to drag you out to try some adventure because they thought it looked cool. You need younger friends to help you fix problems, because they may have faced something similar in the past! You need younger friends to keep you up to date on slang so that you can embarrass your teenage family members by intentionally misusing it.

Cross-generational friendships are not some weird sin. My best friend is nineteen years older than I am - im closer in age to her children than I am to her. She's still my best fucking friend.

[genderkoolaid]

having friends who are older than you helps inoculate you against ageism towards older people.

having friends who are younger than you helps inoculate you against ageism towards younger people.

you need to be able to see people of all ages as people you live in a community with, people who are similar to how you once were or will be, people you can learn from and people you can teach.

[through-thick-and-quinn]

It is also just a given of life. Those that are like "Why would a 40 year old ever even be near a 16 year old? Thats sus!" Have never worked a minimum wage job or gone to college, especially community college. My first year of school, I was friends with a 36 year old man with kids I was closer in age to. My senior internship was in a cardiac rehab unit and I made friends with people an average age of 65. I was often teased at being in charge of their workout plans when "I have shoes older than you". I had a 50 year old coworker last holiday season and she was great, I loved working with her.

Outside of forced association with only people your age and people much older than you like in K-12, you're gonna be hard pressed to find friends that are only in your age group. Its okay, and it honestly rules.

[windynebula]

I'm gonna say something incredibly 30-year-old and I'm going to ask you to not judge me while I'm trying to be genuine and real. Okay? Here's my truth.

A piece of lettuce can really elevate a sandwich. The fresh crunch? Unrivaled. Peak. Poetic cinema.

[benjaminbadger]

I think there's some medias that you just cannot meaningfully engage with if your main priority is shipping

[benjaminbadger]

(Tired aroace voice, metaphorical cigarette in hand) You don't have to make them kiss... they don't always have to kiss...

[bear-ylee-stable]

So many other kinds of human connection get put to the wayside with our current culture’s obsession with romantic love.

Don’t get me wrong it’s ok to ship romance but it doesn’t have to be the only type of relationship we celebrate in media, fandom space included.

[benjaminbadger]

[girlsjustwannahaveadegree]

Me at least twice a week

[cosmicallytiredd]

hate to break this to you but if you call yourself self aware but you are only aware of your faults and never acknowledge your strengths you are not self aware. you just repackaged your self hatred

[anna-neko]

[armandology]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[vamptits]

it's just really apparent that people think it's okay to want pain but morally abhorrent to want to give it. sorry but the sadist gets to have fun too. it's actually pretty crucial to the process.

[vamptits]

if I said I was going to a taekwondo class would you feel the need to tell me kicking people on the street is bad or.

[whoopsie-collective]

Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr comment that says "yeah, its only abhorrent imo, when the recipient is non consenting, i've" the screenshot cuts off.

[dogspouse]

[solarprominence]

I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up

[muzzlesbian]

While often different in practice, cissexism, transphobia, and homophobia are all rooted in oppositional sexism, which is the belief that female and male are rigid, mutually exclusive categories, each possessing a unique and nonoverlapping set of attributes, aptitudes, abilities, and desires. Oppositional sexists attempt to punish or dismiss those of us who fall outside of gender or sexual norms because our existence threatens the idea that women and men are “opposite” sexes.

Julia Serano, Whipping Girl

[andmaybegayer]

> looking at a new popular collectible

> ask the people if it's objects or gambling

> they don't understand

> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is objects and what is gambling

> they laugh and say "it's a good collectible sir"

> look up how to buy a collectible

> its gambling

[andmaybegayer]

> #wait are labubu's blind bags?!

Labubus are blind bags but they're also blind bags with some of the most insane dark patterns stacked on top. The online store for them has a thing where they tell you what you got the second you order it online so that you can immediately try again if you didn't get the thing you wanted.

There's also a shake feature that is designed to encourage you to buy more than one by narrowing down the possibility space on a crate of options so that if you're hunting a specific model you can verify that it's guaranteed to be in one of these three IF you buy all three right now!!!!!

[girlishgamine]

You can read more about what dark patterns are and how to spot them here.

Deceptive Patterns (aka Dark Patterns) - spreading awareness since 2010

The original website about deceptive patterns (also known as “dark patterns”) - tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things tha

[ralfmaximus]

That is a fucking awesome site everyone should visit. Don't skip the Hall of Shame.

[dailymanners]

I just thought of this post, which was actually how I learned what Dark Patterns are, because I tried to cancel my Adobe Acrobat subscription, and it took much longer than I anticipated because several times throughout the process it felt like it was intentionally trying to trick me into thinking I'd cancelled my subscription when I actually hadn't yet.

Please read up on Dark Patterns and learn how to recognize them.

[selkiecremie]

People talking abt autism like its a set of quirky silly traits and not an often debilitating neurological disorder genuinely drives me up a wall, especially as someone who's support needs are higher.

"I want a gf with autism :3" ok are you prepared to help them with hygiene tasks? Are you gonna help them with laundry and cleaning their room? Are you gonna be patient with them when they're using AAC? Will you comfort them through meltdowns? Or do you just want a gf who talks to you about dinosaurs and has a cute "neurodivergent aesthetic"?

The minimization of autistic struggles to just "socially awkward sometimes" ends up making higher support needs autistics feel real isolated, because it's obvious that when you romanticize neurodivergence, you're not talking about us.