okan is not your friend @sluttypillow - Tumblr Blog

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

silly-slacker-person

Posts that changed the timeline

fleetwood-mac-andcheese

I’m so mad that somewhere down the line the use of effervescent will have changed so much that dictionaries have to adapt the definition and some poor etymologist will have to cite “cockmcstuffins”

mattel

Turning Kandy Muse into GOTTMIK

gayiconwaluigi

manthadoodle

we-are-the-reckless-youthhhh

explanatorypower-deactivated201

i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me

free-market-pluralist-deactivat

This is the america they don’t want you to see

robloxgf-deactivated20190515

i love america

dalaisa-katili-deactivated20170

This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry

rasec-wizzlbang-blog

*group of people having fun* this site: wtf this is so scary

wilfulwayfarer-deactivated20220

People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.

inkandcayenne

Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:

Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.

Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.

The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”

Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”

The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)

It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”

postmarxed

We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open?

epiphanies

This is the difference between an organizer and a strategist. Knock Down the House (dir. Rachel Lears, 2019)

5slicesofpepperonipizza

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

miileskine

this is the realest shit i’ve ever read

miileskine

all the french in the notes are like

carnival-phantasm

Good

guava-jarritos

In High School Musical 2 Sharpay very clearly states that they have “…Iced tea imported from England, life guards imported from Spain, towels imported from Turkey, and turkey imported from Maine.” In order to import an item, it must come from another country. The series is set in Albequerque, New Mexico, and as New Mexico and Maine are both part of the United States Of America, they cannot have their turkey imported from Maine. As most of the characters are white, and all speak English, this clearly indicates that High School Musical takes place in an alternate universe where a second Civil War has split the nation and New Mexico is no longer part of the Union, based on the fact that we never see the characters celebrate the Fourth of July. In this essay I will

breakfastburritoe

I’m so hipster… u probably haven’t heard of my favorite band… glee cast

latuladi

yall are over here talking about how Relatable™️ bella from twilight is, but katniss everdeen was saved from dying of starvation by a boy in her class and was so socially awkward she missed the Window of Opportunity to thank him w/o being weird about it and then didn’t talk to him for four (4) years until they became human sacrifices in a battle royale

pagetbewbster

this is it… the worst text a guy has ever sent me in my entire 2 decades of life…. I surpassed the 5 stages of grief when I read it and astral projected straight to hell

legends-canon

thebootydiaries

gets me every time ;(

edwardfucks

he really snuck into her window at night and watched her sleep and we all were young and the 2008 recession was going on and we were just like “yeah okay sure”

castformi-deactivated20241025

dystopia au where we are all assigned one of two chosen genders at birth

peppylilspitfuck

Thanks to ultrasounds, the genders can be assigned before birth. The people are so excited to conform they throw “Gender reveal parties” to make sure their offspring exist in a strict binary since before they can even form thoughts.