yoohoo

wear a mask

[salamencerobot]

Thank you Mr docm77 for fighting the bigots this pride month

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

best job I ever had was manually removing aquatic plants from like, golf course ponds. I started out wearing waders, but the plants would be in too deep, so I just started wearing a bathing suit and water shoes and diving down under and just pulling cattails and stuff out by the roots. The thing was, when I’d first get started, the vegetation might be so thick it took up most of the pond, and I’d start in the deepest section so as I got tired I could move toward shore and start standing instead of swimming.

So I’d dive in and virtually disappear into the reeds

and it wasn’t until recently I thought about how many random tourists just saw some girl walk into an aesthetics pond in a swimsuit and dive under water and then just……….Not come back out

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

job description: golf course alligator

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

My fav part of this job is that it’s so bad for the golf course. Every year golf courses contact fish managers bc all of the fish in their ponds keep dying, and golfers’ families are upset bc they like fishing the ponds.

So we go test some water indices and usually find out that fertilizer runoff from the lawns has turned the pond into an oxygen void, so the fish all essentially suffocated, so we say “you need to build up a riparian buffer [wet habitat vegetation and trees that can absorb nitrates before they get into the water] around your pond”

And they’re like “no that looks ugly” and then they hire undergrads like me to remove the vegetation they do have

And then they’re like “wtf my fish are DEAD again!!!!”

It doesn’t end.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Golf course manager: I will pay you $8 an hour to destroy part of my business for aesthetic purposes

Me, putting on my goggles: say no more

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was getting coffee with my coworker, who is kind of right-wing and I said jokingly, "You know, I'm awfully leftist," and he said, "Yeah, I figured that the moment I learned you're a fan of the Lord of the Rings."

[one-time-i-dreamt]

THE WHAT

[sapphling]

ever since my gf and i moved in together a couple years ago i've been semi-regularly executing something i call a "prank night." this is something you want to do frequently enough that it's not a special occasion, but spontaneously enough to make it a prank. the set-up for a prank night is simple

listen to your partner and take note of a couple things she's putting off doing, as well as a couple things she's been wanting

wait for a day when your partner is out of the house for work or errands

tell them that you'll be playing videogames/hanging out with the guys/doing very little all day. this way her guard will be down

now you can execute the four core aspects of the prank night

act of service. complete a chore or task that you know she's been dreading. doing the dishes/cleaning the living room/making an appointment/doing the groceries, etc.

lil gift. flowers, chocolate, anything that you know she wants but hasn't felt justified in getting for herself

sustenance. a charcuterie board, a homecooked meal, her favorite snack, or a fancy cocktail can all work

fourth, final, most important, when she gets home you sit her down and eat her out like she's your last meal on death row

The Look On The Girlfriend's Face Will Be Awesome!

[bungerc0re]

[bungerc0re]

[pukicho]

Hey guys just had the most mid teryaki chicken of my life at the denver airport.

[kitzenvoncatzen]

congrats!!!!! im so proud of you!!

[pukicho]

I am releasing the beast at Denver airport

[level-17-spheal]

What terminal?

[pukicho]

Oh you’ll know

[valtsv]

[small-winter-price-raise]

*resisting the urge to buy these*

[prokopetz]

Concept: tabletop RPG where your character’s stat block is a string of randomly generated symbols with no associated numerical ratings, and how many dice you get to roll depends on how many of those symbols you can bullshit a reason for being relevant to the challenge at hand. Like, you need to stop a dragon from eating a village and your stats are

Good luck!

[stufflikethathere]

some examples of wabi-sabi 

[notmanthelessbutnaturemore]

this reminds me of the time I visited Canterbury Cathedral and a nice old volunteer told me all about the grooves worn in the floor from pilgrims kneeling there

[angremlin-deactivated20250312]

Things like this don’t just reflect the past, they also shape the future. When Rome was building its network of roads, it was also using war chariots with wheels a standard size and distance apart. The chariots wore deep grooves into the roads that were essentially the same everywhere. Because of these ruts, everyone pretty much always made wagons and other wheeled vehicles with wheels that fit into them so they didn’t have one wheel slip into one and crack the axle. This just sort of became The Size Vehicles Are, so train tracks have their rails match these dimensions too. A lot of train lines pass through tunnels, and these tunnels are of course built just large enough to accomodate the trains. These train lines, with the tunnels, are pretty much the only reasonable way to move very very large cargo overland. When we build space ships, we didn’t build everything at the launch pad. Parts had to be constructed all over the place. These parts then had to be moved for assembly. That means that had to be put on trains. That means they had to fit in the tunnels, which were sized based on trains, which were sized based on their rails, which were sized based on the exact dimensions of war chariots of the Roman Empire. And that’s how the grooves worn into roads by Roman soldiers two thousand years ago determined real physical properties of space craft.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[small-winter-price-raise]

the last one has me crying laughing i love it so much

[valtsv]

i just think that this meme has potential outside of marine biology

[small-winter-price-raise]

i think this meme has potential everywhere

[1i73-deactivated20221021]

brothers in arms

[thebootydiaries]

Doctor: you have 6 months to live

me: Oh No!!!! 😜👌🏽😂👌🏽😉👌🏽💯💯🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂

Doctor: how the hell did you do that

[mrdarcysdadbod]

Me and my gf were talking abt good castings for Sir Walter Elliot and she suggested Jack Black and I was like "Jack Black could do any Bennet. Jack Black could do ALL the Bennets" so now my ideal P+P has Jack Black as the entire Bennet family, or at least Mrs. Bennet

[mrdarcysdadbod]

Further thoughts on Jack Black as Mrs. Bennet

He is not in drag.

He is wearing a dress and a bonnet.

He is the only one who seems unaware/does not acknowledge that the 5 Bennet sisters are obviously adopted

bonus points if they're cast race-blind so they're OBVIOUSLY adopted

It's played straight that Jack Black was a renowned beauty in his day, which is how he snared a genteel husband

He is the only cast member not required to do a British accent

He is in fact encouraged to do a bad British accent but only sometimes

The bonnet that Jack Black wears is possibly the most ostentatious bonnet anyone has ever seen HOWEVER

Each time the camera cuts away and back, Jack Black is wearing a different bonnet.

A significant portion of the costume budget should go towards Jack Black's various bonnets

Mr. Bennet can wear the same outfit for the entire film that's in character for him

The changing bonnet gag is absolutely key to this film

[mrdarcysdadbod]

@canolaaoil

[ID: tags reading "every time they cut back it's a different bonnet BUT it gets bigger each time" end ID]

YOU GET IT

[ellynneversweet]

[mrdarcysdadbod]

Im WEEPING

[luckyybones]

@seatidesofthesoul you are one of several people tumblr has just decided I can’t message 🥲 but you definitely need to see this lol

[theflashisgone]

@thebibliosphere

[thebibliosphere]

Every scene where Mary is implied to be playing the piano poorly is now replaced with her absolutely shredding the keys while Mrs Bennet stands swaying in the crowd with a candle held aloft.

[small-winter-price-raise]

this is the best thing i’ve ever seen

[merthurians-prat-and-idiot]

Spiderverse hc: Peter B Parker somehow visits Miles and is like- "Sooo it didn't work out with Mary Jane but I found someone else- this is Wade Wilson" and Miles is just like- "RYAN REYNOLDS?!!"

[small-winter-price-raise]

ACCEPTED

[whitepeopletwitter]

[small-winter-price-raise]

reblogging again because i just thought of the mootrix

[deanpinterester]

[small-winter-price-raise]

this kills me every time i see it