[BLOGGING INTENSIFIES] @smolshan - Tumblr Blog

- TRASH BLESSINGS -

A series of pieces based off of common urban fauna with the aim of reminding people of traits in them we could all do well emulating sometimes, and celebrating the ability of nature to carve out a place in any environment.

Interested in seeing these on patches or pins? Please send me a message! If there’s enough interest, I’ll look into the cost of having them made.

[REDBUBBLE COLLECTION] // [COMMISSIONS]

porterr-robinson

toastpotent-deactivated20250619

2012: get a weird background, put wacky characters on it, put some silly text

2019: get a weird background, put wacky characters on it, put some silly text

kikml2

Memes are the same except now they’re cryptids

#video

feltguy

had a dream last night that my alarm was connected to twitter and everytime i hit snooze it publicly tweeted it with a disparaging little message along the lines of “filthy horrible boy has slapped the screen again, and slumbers on” so that your followers could shame you and i was deeply, DEEPLY humiliated but that did not stop me from hitting snooze upwards of 14 times

slytherverse

hey op! i couldnt sleep until i built this! you motherfucker!

just gotta “borrow” my sister’s alarm clock

get that twitter api, write the bot in some python bc god is dead n slap together some fuckin UI with legos

your idiot self wants to sleep in???? hit that snooze button a couple times???? (maybe 4 times in a row)?? disgusting.

twitter knows! bc it posts how many times youve hit it. fuck you

the next step is NOT profit. noone profits. everybody loses. go home.

bliss-cree

So… I heard there was a kiribaku Aristocats Au @branbrandio

katama-k

Y’all remember when I used to do dumb redraws all the time lmao

spearmint-milkshake

i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was like “I’ve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what I’m saying makes sense, i’m simply stating the obvious. i’m sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.” and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and i’ve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.

cocksmasher69

Men automatically assume they’re more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. I’ve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male

cheekless0nion

I’ll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that she’s on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented with “good luck” and other encouraging messages. A man’s comment was advice on how to give birth.

celean0

You have got to be kidding me

wreathedinscales

So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writer’s museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said “well I’ve never read the book”

My dude………..stop

coffeebuddha

my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to make ‘donuts’, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking

i’m a fucking pastry chef

gotlostintheuniverse

met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if i’d ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too

i have a degree in physics

and am a published coauthor in astrophysics

sxpositive

the best part is that the woman who invented the term ‘mansplaining’ (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldn’t let her speak long enough for her to tell him that

she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her

saltiestsoprano

You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.

soupshark

paverics

this is extra funny if you know that the show is in fact not scripted, for the kids anyway, so the 3 of them who were on the show were only told a basic outline of the scene so (most) of what they said was exactly what they thought of on the spot and the adults had no idea what was going to happen

kiyotakamine

munchlax is pretty hot

kiyotakamine

happy 10 year anniversary of munchlax being pretty hot

tabaquis-barking

Actually know what reblogging again bc the girl with the white ds knows what the FUCK is up and pink girl is either a dumbass or a scammer.

In DPP (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum) sneasel shows up on five different routes, and then evolves into weavile when leveled with a razor claw at night. Razor claws aren’t hard to find either, so while there’s minimal effort involved here, weavile isn’t really special.

Munchlax, though? Jesus fuck. Jesus fucking christ. Munchlax in DPP is one of the most difficult Pokémon in ANY of the games—if not the absolute most difficult. DPP has a mechanic where you could slather honey on certain trees, and six hours later a Pokémon would turn up on the tree. Several of the Pokémon you could get this way were common, but some could ONLY be obtained from honey trees. You couldn’t change the DS system’s time to speed things up, because the trees ran on their own counter—so you HAD to wait six hours for a Pokémon to show up.

It gets worse. There were 21 of these honey trees in the game, and regardless of the tree’s location, and tree could summon any of the “honey tree Pokémon…”

Except. Fucking. Munchlax.

Only FOUR trees in the game had the potential to summon Munchlax. Which trees, you ask? Guess. No, literally, take a fucking guess—because the four trees that can summon Munchlax are decided at random based on your trainer ID and secret ID. There is NO way to determine which trees they are unless you feel like hacking into your game’s data and then doing some weird complicated math.

That’s not all. You thought that was all? You thought Munchlax was a merciful god that would take pity on your tiny, pathetic body? Oh no. Not even close. Munchlax isn’t done with you yet, Munchlax is going to peel you like a fucking mango and laugh while you cry.

Munchlax only has a 1% encounter rate.

ONE. PERCENT. As in 1/100.

So to recap—4/21 honey trees (and you don’t know which ones) have a 1% chance of summoning this little motherfucker once every six hours. That’s it. No fast tracking, no cheats, and no workarounds. Munchlax in DPP is the holy grail of hard to find Pokémon.

And pinky here has the AUDACITY to offer the MUCH more easily obtainable weavile for it. Fuck that. Fuck that!!! White DS girl knows what the FUCK is up!!!

In conclusion;

Munchlax is pretty hot… Try again.

Bitch.

dankmemesreasonforliving

springfieldusa

justinpie

holy shit marge

ghostlybitchwitch

My aunt’s cat is very shy and hides when there are guests in her house. She semi-trusts my parents and will at least be in the same room as them. Tonight, my dad made some progress: