local queer cryptid

Charlie Autumn.> I queue just about everything that gets posted here.nb. they/them.  Spoonie, softie, snuggler. Queer, fat, cosplaying mom friend.

[babyanimalgifs]

[herzdieb]

[aprilslady]

I’m sorry but the things Michael Sheen does with his eyes are utterly obscene. Giving Crowley the Gay Once Over? The way he oh-so-slightly turns his body towards him and then turns away? He’s looking at him like a Victorian lady who has just found a handsome and rakish highwayman crawling through her window and she’s nominally protesting just to protect her honour. Aziraphale you fucking tease. I know I’ve said this before but he’s literally eyeing him up like a fucking crepe. This is peak NSFW. I should not be seeing this before the watershed.

[iamjohnlocked4life]

The way he says “Oh, good Lord,” as if it’s Crowley who’s done something obscene (which, yes, he is sprawled out in black and scarlet like a late 18th century pinup) but it’s 1000% Aziraphale’s thirsty brain that sees his demon and immediately goes to carnal thoughts. If he was pure of mind he would’ve just been like, ah yes, there he is, but instead he’s flustered and blushing and chiding Crowley in an “oh behave!” sort of way, when really it’s him who needs to get ahold of himself. Crowley’s literally just said how awful humans are and all Aziraphale can think is “oh fuck he looks so hot, I was not prepared, I need a moment but also let me scope that out one more time” 👀

[kryptaria]

OH DEAR I AM CHAINED UP AND HELPLESS AND GARBED IN THE FINEST CLOTHES MY WARDROBE HAD TO OFFER AND HERE IS A RAKISH DEMON SPRAWLED LASCIVIOUSLY NEARBY OH MY VIRTUE WHAT EVER SHALL I DO

 i shall invite him out for crepes

ahem

“crepes”

[fluffmugger]

#he lights up a SECOND TIME when he sees him#once for “Crowley’s here” and once for “AND HE’S HOT”#look at that little GASP#i CANNOT with this#HARLOT HARLOT that is the word that is exactly the perfect word. Antiquated and fussy and exactly what he’s doing he’s been getting stuck into all sorts of dreadful  titillating literature.   The ethos of western culture until the 18th century was dominated by the idea that sex is essentially a sinful act, then in like, 1754 it just went a bit bananas with the extra-marital sex as it was no longer punished (one essay I read used the word “explosion”), but there was still the madonna/whore complex going on so the woman had to be seen to be “reluctant” for the whole purity schtick, which meant token resistance, clutching of pearls “oh my goodness mister crowley what if my father should find out!” AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT AZIRAPHALE IS DOING. 

[ileolai]

and he’s enjoying it.

This is also why I believe ‘’GeT ThEe BeHinD Me FoUL FieND’’ was actually 100% deliberate ‘’we’re going into this bookshop and you’re going to rail me’’. At some point ‘’you’re a bad, bad, naughty demon and I shan’t succumb to your wicked ways!!’’ becomes flirtation

[I literally just read a kink fic along these lines. it was great.]

[welshscotsmanandlife]

Okay but can we also just appreciate the way Crowley’s just lounging there like some 1950s pin up? He could’ve been standing, and really, given the hygiene levels of that time, I would certainly have been standing, but no, he decides to just lounge around on the floor or casual like a 1790s French Elvis Presley. He is clearly going for evoking sinful thoughts. 

[1esbrarian]

[arqueete]

check out this spotify playlist of men covering women’s songs without changing pronouns

[1esbrarian]

nice

[thegenesimmonsboots]

the same user made a playlist of women covering men’s songs without changing pronouns!

[aphony-cree]

double nice

[scorpia-moved-deactivated202101]

we don’t talk about the koala sheep from the last airbender enough and i really think that needs to change

[lightningbenders]

THEM

[despicablewench]

some good things about kissing girls:

when they cup your face with both hands

when they tangle a hand in your hair

when they bite your lip

when they kiss your NECK

when they put their hand on your back. bonus if you’re wearing a crop top and they put their hand right when your skin is exposed

when you can feel them smile against you

when your lips are tingling afterwards

everything?????!?

[ru-debega]

a friend in a FB cat group has this cat named pigeon

i think you can see where he gets his name

[gamegameboi]

NUM NUM NUMNUM

[miamikurasan]

lesbiab? lesbiam?? less bien???

*inhales*

💕girls💕

[sapphicharmony]

🌙 Sapphic Sailor Moon🌙

🌙 | 🌙 | 🌙 🌙 | 🌙 | 🌙 🌙 | 🌙 | 🌙

bi/pan wlw friendly!

[fuwaprince]

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: [phone]

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

Barbados: 429-9999

Belgium: 106

Botswana: 391-1270

Brazil: 21-233-9191

China: 852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

Costa Rica: 606-253-5439

Croatia: 01-4833-888

Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark: 70-201-201

Egypt: 762-1602

Estonia: 6-558-088

Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

Japan: 3-5286-9090

Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

New Zealand: 4-473-9739

New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

(Source)

[uie-deactivated20230402]

ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.

[kitten--aesthetics-blog]

I noticed there isn’t one here for Ireland, so

Irish free suicide helpline: 01-116 123

[thescientificviolist]

last time i reblogged this, i got this ask:

so please, please reblog. this could actually save a life.

[scum-vullage]

keep yourselves safe!

[smolbabii-deactivated20190819]

Bitches will say “gimme another kiss” after being kissed 84848284 times.. it’s me, I’m bitches

[everythingfox]

Handful of bun

[worstloki]

Loki: Is that Mjolnir?

Thor: Yes.

Loki: In a tiny bed? Beside your bed?

Thor: Yes.

Loki: That’s pretty embarrassing.

Thor: Yes, it is. I must buy Mjolnir a better bed.

[hurglewurm]

marco polo. that’s the joke thank you for your time 

[great-tweets]

👀

[monkeysaysficus]

They have nine beverages between the two of them

[polychromehana]

i have that painting ai app on my phone so i went ahead and took the liberty…

[jessthecheesewitch]

What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.

[queen-rot]

The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?

[jessthecheesewitch]

[sentimental-apathy]

[actuallyfuckamatonormativity]

Gatekeepers first took our super-specific precision microlabels. Now they're trying to take queer, our umbrella term. It's almost as if it's not about the words, but about shoving people into rigidly defined, inflexible boxes where we can be more easily controlled.

[voyagevisuelle]

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ￥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk

you tell me

[meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin]

this is alexandrias melon (wow)

it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)

it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds

it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.

its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true

[coolstoryrob]

This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.

The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.

It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.

This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.

[bestrooftalkever]

Patrickmelon

The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

[ninja-sex-tarp]

I’m fucking done with this site

[celticpunkandcoffee-deactivated]

This is the evermelon.

If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.

[deltadragoon-deactivated2018111]

[neenernina]

OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!?

[amor-moved]

ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP

[thereisagirlwhonevergoesoutpt2]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!).

[memeseverdie]

Nothing will ever be better than the last one

[theinfiknight]

HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ

[liquid-geodes]

That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps-

[locatescape-deactivated20190801]

[billie-pipers]

Rose Tyler in Dalek, Doctor Who (2005)