You’re so cruel for telling us you have a sneezy cold and then leaving us to our imagination (jk I hope you feel better soon!)
I hope these are what you had imagined? I can't go on being cruel any longer 😂
I just don't know which ones to post but this is short enough to be allowed here. I'll post ridiculous big cold fits when I figure out how to very soon.
I do feel mostly better now thank you. Fever, raw throat and flu have cleared and it just lingers in my nose but my sneezes are a touch calmer now and probably less contagion in their mist.
It was touch and go for a while but i was a brave soldier buried under a mound of tissues and permanently building up for a few days 🤧🤒
Saw an article today about the rate of hay fever in Japan climbing because of a reforestation project from the 1950s. I think it’s at around 43% now (for comparison, the article says that the hay fever rate in the US is about 12-18%).
Crazy to just see an article about that out in the wild.
I love your alien concept! I’d love to see one with a cold or space equivalent 🤩
Amazing art!
thank you :33333333 thank you everybody for the love :)
ok so the idea i have is that the colds they get aren't caused by germs, but actually a parasite of sorts. I have drawn up this handy dandy chart to illustrate my point.
This algae-looking fish is carrying a clutch of eggs, and is just about ready to make a deposit.
The clutch-bearer normally lays their eggs in the crevices of living things - mouths, ear holes, gills, and in this case, a long, cozy trunk. These fish are so small that they can wander in, make the drop-off, and then exit all while staying completely undetected.
The shells of the eggs are lined with prongs that, when touched to the host's flesh, emit a toxin into the bloodstream which suppresses the body's natural urge to expulse the eggs. The irritation caused by the eggs can still be felt, but the host just can't ever reach the point of coughing or sneezing.
The eggs hatch and the juvenile fish sustain themselves on the excess bodily fluids caused by the irritation. Through the course of about a week, the juveniles continue to feed until their grown enough to survive on their own.
By the time the juveniles grow to be nice and fat and healthy, the leftover egg shells should have completely dissolved, and without the presence of the shells and their toxic prongs, it leads to...
Quite the explosion. It doesn't hurt the juveniles, in fact, it helps them emerge out into the world so they can finally start living their lives, much to the host's relief. The expulsions last until all the juveniles are all gone, which could take another 3-4 days, and after that the host is pretty much recovered. Overall, the infestation lasts about a week and a half.
Along with irritation, an infestation can be accompanied by swelling and pain in the afflicted areas, as well as fatigue, dizziness, and fever. It usually doesn't get serious unless the fever spikes or an infection occurs, which can be caused by the shells improperly dissolving or the clutch-bearer dying inside the host due to complications during laying.
I also fixed up the space traveler concept while I was at it. Space travelers are provided synthetic metal shells packed with everything they could ever need, and it also doubles as a miniature space ship. The wire connected to the cheek is what allows material passed through the trunk to become data and get stored in the shell's computer. Nice and sleek and easy to draw.
Thank you so much for the positive response to the first part of this fic! You guys are so sweet.
Here’s the second part! NSFW! Dont say I didn’t warn ya. 3.6k words….sheesh
MINORS DNI! Do not reblog to nonkink blogs!
The house warming party// part 2
Part one
Premise: Jake meets alluring Iris at housewarming dinner, where unbeknownst to her, her perfume triggers his intense allergies
IRIS
I watched him unravel before me, this sweet, awkward man, his body the essence of vulnerability under the night sky. The porch light cast a soft, golden halo around us, illuminating the flush on his cheeks, the way his glasses had slipped down his nose again, fogged from the heat of his building fit. His hand was still on his knee right by where I’d placed mine, our fingers brushing in that tentative way that sent sparks up my arm. He was hitching uncontrollably now, those breathy “hih… heh…” sounds escaping his parted lips like forbidden whispers, his nostrils flaring wide and red, quivering with each inhale as if they were alive with their own desperate need.
God, it was mesmerizing—the way the itch consumed him, turning his composed facade into something raw, primal. My core throbbed with heat, a slick ache building between my thighs as I imagined coaxing more from him.
He stammered through another apology, his voice thick and congested—“I… I don’t know why it’s so—hih… bad tonight”—but I couldn’t wait any longer. The pull was too strong, that magnetic draw to his helplessness, the way his eyes watered and pleaded behind those lenses. I shifted closer, until our knees touched, the warmth of his leg seeping through his pants into my skin. My hand moved from his knee to his thigh, a gentle squeeze that made him tense, his hitches quickening—“Heh… hih’…”—and I leaned in, my face inches from his. His nostrils suddenly twitched violently, rims pink and damp, flaring even wider as the tickle deepened into something unbearable. I could see the fine tremble in his lips, the way his chest heaved with anticipation, and it ignited me, my nipples hardening against the fabric of my blouse, my breath syncing with his erratic rhythm.
Before he could pull away or stifle another one, I closed the distance, pressing my lips to his in a soft, insistent kiss. It started tender, my mouth capturing his mid-hitch, the warmth of his breath mingling with mine as I tilted my head to deepen it. His lips were soft, slightly chapped from the night’s torment, and they parted instinctively under mine, allowing my tongue to trace the seam gently, tasting the faint saltiness of his earlier sneezes.
I felt him shudder against me, his hands coming up to grip my arms, holding on, as if I were his anchor in the storm. The kiss turned hungrier as I pressed closer, my breasts brushing against his chest, the friction sending jolts of pleasure through me. His nose, that poor, inflamed beacon of his allergy, twitched against my cheek, the soft brush of his flaring nostrils like a feather against my skin, heightening my arousal to a fever pitch.
And then the fit escalated. He tried to hold back, his lips trembling against mine, but the sneeze built too fast, too fiercely. “Hih… heh’ISHHOO!” It exploded out of him, loud and desperate, the sound reverberating through our kiss, a wet spray misting my lips and chin as his head jerked forward slightly. The sensation was electric—warm, intimate, the essence of his release painting my skin in fine droplets that made me moan softly into his mouth.
Far from pulling away, I kissed him harder, my tongue delving deeper, savoring the vibration of his hitches against my lips. His body convulsed with the aftershocks. But the itch seemed relentless, coiling tighter in his nose. I could feel it in the way his nostrils flared against me, wide and urgent, the redness deepening to a flushed crimson as another built rapidly—“Heh… hah… HAH’CHSHHOO!” This one was even louder, more desperate, bursting forth with a throaty edge that echoed in the night, his sneeze spraying across my neck as I trailed kisses down his, the warmth trickling down my collarbone like a lover’s caress.
God, it was intoxicating; my panties were soaked now, the ache between my legs pulsing with each of his releases, my hips shifting involuntarily as if seeking friction.
He gasped between sneezes, trying to murmur something—“Iris, I—heh… sorry, it’s your—y—your—HAH’KSCHHUU! HEH’ISHHOO!”—but they came faster now, rapid and unyielding, each one louder than the last, desperate pleas from his tormented nose. The first of the pair was sharp and itchy, a high-pitched explosion that made his glasses fog completely; the second deeper, wetter, his body doubling over slightly against mine as the spray dotted my blouse, seeping through the thin fabric to my skin. I held him through it, my hands sliding up to cup his face, thumbs brushing the undersides of his twitching nostrils—gently, teasingly, feeling the quiver beneath my touch. The physicality of it all was overwhelming: the heat of his flushed cheeks under my palms, the way his chest pressed against my breasts with each heaving breath, the subtle hardness I felt against my thigh as he shifted, betraying his own hidden arousal. I kissed him again, mid-fit, my lips capturing the edge of another hitch—“Hih… HAH… HAH’CHOO! HEH’KSCHHOO! ISHH’OO!”—three in frantic succession, each one more rapid and desperate, the sounds building to a peak of raw need. The spray misting my hair, his nose burying into my shoulder as it all erupted, wet and lingering, his body sagging against mine in surrender.
I pulled back just enough to look at him, our foreheads nearly touching, my breath ragged with desire. His eyes were glassy, nostrils still flaring weakly, red and irritated, but there was a spark there. A mutual, unspoken bond was formed.
The sensual haze wrapped around us, my skin tingling from his sneezes, my body alive with the thrill of it. But I knew we couldn’t stay out here forever; the group inside would wonder. I smoothed his hair back, planting one last soft kiss on his inflamed nose, feeling it twitch under my lips. “Shh, baby,” I whispered, my voice husky with want. “God, you’re adorable like this. Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
We stood, my arm linked through his as we headed back inside, the cool air doing nothing to quell the fire in my veins. The group looked up as we entered, concern etching their faces at Jake’s sniffly, red-nosed state. I smiled reassuringly, my hand squeezing his. “Hey, everyone, Jake’s not feeling great—those allergies are really hitting him hard. I’m gonna take him home, make sure he gets some rest.” And just like that, with Jake following my guidance out of the house, I knew he was something special, this night was far from over.
JAKE
I stumbled out of Alex’s front door alongside Iris, my arm still linked with hers like she was guiding a lost puppy. The cool night air slapped me in the face again, but it did little to clear the congestion in my sinuses or the fog in my brain. My nose was a wreck—red, itchy, still twitching from that insane fit out back, and every sniffle reminded me of how her perfume had turned me into a sneezing mess. But god, that kiss… her lips on mine mid-sneeze, the way she’d held me through it, not pulling away but leaning in harder, like my helplessness was some kind of aphrodisiac. It had left me rock hard, my pants uncomfortably tight, and I was grateful for the darkness hiding the evidence.
Iris was something else—confident, sultry, with those freckles dancing across her skin, her body curving in all the right places under that blouse and skirt. I couldn’t stop stealing glances at her as we walked to her car, a sleek little hybrid parked down the block. She moved with this effortless sway, hips rolling just enough to make my mind wander to what it’d feel like to have her pressed against me, no barriers.
“Thanks for, uh, getti’dng mb’e out of there,” I mumbled, my voice still thick and nasal as we reached her car. I rubbed at my nose with the back of my hand, feeling the residual tickle linger like a promise of more chaos. “I feel like a’d idiot, s’dneezi’dg all over the place like that.”
She unlocked the doors with a beep, flashing me that warm, mischievous smile that made my stomach flip. “Don’t even think about it, Jake. You were adorable. Besides, I like taking care of people.” Her voice had that husky edge again, like velvet rubbing against rough silk, and it sent a shiver straight to my groin.
Adorable? Me? The guy who’d just sprayed her with allergy-fueled desperation? The way she said it, fussing without pity, made me believe it for a second. I slid into the passenger seat, the leather cool against my heated skin, and she started the engine, pulling out smoothly into the quiet street.
The drive was short—surprisingly short, like fate had conspired to keep the tension building without giving me time to overthink. “You live close?” I asked, trying to sound casual as I watched the suburban houses blur by, my hand absently adjusting my glasses.
“Just a few blocks away,” she replied, glancing over at me with those sparkling eyes, her hair catching the streetlight glow like a halo of fire. “Perks of the neighborhood. Alex actually helped me find the place—said it was perfect for someone ‘adventurous’ like me.” She laughed softly, the sound low and inviting, and I felt my cock twitch again at the implication.
Adventurous? What did that even mean? My mind raced with images—her body arched in pleasure, those full lips parted in a moan, tan freckled skin flushing under my touch.
Fuck, I was so turned on by her, this woman I’d just met, her confidence like a magnet pulling at every insecure part of me. She wasn’t just hot; she was intoxicating, the kind of woman who could make a guy like me forget his own name.
We pulled up to a charming little apartment building, all brick and ivy, and she parked in a spot marked with her number. As we got out, the air carried a faint floral scent from nearby gardens, teasing my nose anew, but I ignored it, too focused on her. She led me to her door on the first floor, keys jingling in her hand, and paused there, turning to face me fully. The porch light illuminated her features—those high cheekbones, the subtle curve of her breasts rising with her breath—and I felt like a deer in headlights, my heart hammering.
“Jake,” she said softly, her voice dropping to that sultry purr that made my knees weak. She stepped closer, her body heat radiating toward me, that damn perfume wafting up again in a gentle wave that made my nostrils twitch involuntarily. “If we go in… I want you to know, I’d like to have sex with you. No games, no pretending. You’re cute, and you are very much doing it for me.”
My face burned like I’d stuck it in an oven, a flush spreading from my neck to my ears.
S-Sex? Just like that? She said it so honestly, no coy bullshit, her eyes locked on mine with a hunger that mirrored the ache in my pants. I was flustered as hell, my mind short-circuiting—part thrilled, part terrified I’d screw it up. “I… uh, wow. Really? I mean, yeah, I’d… I’d like that too. A lot. You’re, um, incredible.” It came out awkward, in that bumbling way I hated about myself, but it was consent, clear as day, even if my voice cracked a little. God, she was turning me inside out, her directness making me harder than ever, fantasies flashing of her naked, riding me slow while that perfume drove me wild.
She grinned, pure delight lighting her face, and unlocked the door, ushering me inside. The moment we stepped in, it hit me like a pollen bomb. Her apartment was a jungle of flowers—vases on every surface, potted plants dangling from shelves, bouquets of lilies and roses spilling their petals on the coffee table. The air was thick with their scent, dust motes dancing in the soft lamp light, and my already overstimulated nose rebelled instantly. That familiar prickly itch exploded in my sinuses, sharper than before, like a thousand tiny feathers brushing the sensitive linings, building pressure that made my eyes water and my breath hitch. “Hih… oh shit,” I muttered, plugging my nostrils with my fingers, pinching hard to block the invasion. It helped a little, but the tickle lingered, teasing the edges, my nostrils flaring against my hand despite the pressure.
Iris closed the door behind us, turning to me with a curious tilt of her head, her body silhouetted against the warm glow of the living room—curves that begged to be touched, skin glowing like honey. “What was setting you off so much back at Alex’s? The flowers? Or something else?” She asked it innocently, but there was a spark in her eyes, like she was piecing it together.
I breathed thickly, my voice muffled through my plugged nose, hitches slipping out anyway—“It was… hih… actually your perfume. It’s really strong… hih… in a good way, but my allergies are—hih… total crap with stuff like that.” Awkward as fuck, admitting it like that, my face heating again as I stood there pinching my nose, feeling like a dork. But she was so damn attractive, leaning against the doorframe with that sultry poise, her blouse hinting at the lace beneath, making me want to bury myself in her despite the impending sneeze.
Her expression shifted to one of pure delight, eyes widening with a wicked gleam, lips curving into a smile that was equal parts apologetic and thrilled. “Oh, Jake… I’m both sorry and absolutely not sorry for causing it. That’s really hot, you know? Me making you sneeze like that.” Her voice was a sensual murmur, stepping closer, her presence overwhelming in the best way, that perfume now mingling with the floral assault, intensifying the itch despite my efforts.
The tickle built anyway, my plugged nose doing little to stop it, and I felt the pressure mounting, eyes fluttering. She moved closer then, her hand reaching out to trace my arm lightly, sending goosebumps racing. “How about we hop in the shower? Wash off the day… and maybe that perfume.”
I nodded sheepishly, flustered beyond words, my cock straining at the thought of her wet and naked under the stream. “Y-yeah, that sounds… hih… perfect. Lead the way.” It was eager, but god, I wanted her—every freckled inch, her confidence wrapping around me like a promise of ecstasy amid the chaos
She led me down the short hallway, her hand slipping into mine with a casual confidence that made my pulse race harder. The apartment was like walking straight into an allergen ambush. My already ravaged nose gave an immediate, traitorous twitch, the itch flaring back to life with vicious speed despite my fingers still clamped over my nostrils. Every breath pulled in more of the floral assault, tiny particles dancing straight into the raw, overstimulated membranes, making my eyes water and my chest tighten with pre-sneeze pressure. I could feel the hitches starting again, small and helpless—“hih… hih…”—even through the makeshift plug of my hand.
Iris glanced back at me, catching the way my shoulders hunched and my free hand hovered near my face like I was bracing for impact. Her smile turned wicked-sweet, eyes glittering with that same delighted fascination she’d worn outside. “You’re already building up again, aren’t you?” she murmured, voice low and syrupy as she pushed open the bathroom door. Steam was already curling from the shower she’d apparently started while I was stuck fighting through the tickle; the mirror had begun to fog, softening the edges of everything.
I nodded, sheepish and painfully hard, my cock throbbing against the confines of my jeans at the sight of her standing there—hair slightly mussed from the night, blouse clinging, skirt riding up a fraction as she reached to adjust the water temperature. “Yeah… can’t really help it,” I managed, voice thick and congested. “You’re—fuck, you’re so hot, and the flowers, and your perfume still on you… it’s all just… a lot.”
She laughed softly, a sound that vibrated straight to my groin, and stepped closer until I could feel the heat rolling off her body. Her fingers brushed my wrist, gently prying my hand away from my nose. “Then don’t fight it,” she whispered, thumb tracing the flushed, twitching rim of one nostril. “Let it happen. I want to hear you.” The command was so casual, so filthy-sweet, that my knees nearly buckled.
The first real hitch ripped out of me—“Heh… hih’ISHHOO!”—sharp and wet, spraying mist across the tiles as my head snapped forward. She didn’t flinch; instead she pressed herself against me, breasts soft against my chest, lips finding the corner of my jaw while I shuddered through the aftershocks. Another followed almost immediately—“HAH’CHSHHOO!”—louder, more desperate, my glasses fogging completely now as my body jerked against hers.
“Shower,” she breathed against my ear, already tugging at the hem of my shirt. “We’ll wash everything off… and then I’m going to make you sneeze for me again, nice and slow, until you can’t think straight.”
I was entranced, heart slamming, utterly wrecked and completely hers.
IRIS
I watched him under the warm cascade of the shower, steam curling around us, softening the edges of his body as water slid down his skin. Jake stood there, glasses already discarded on the sink, his dark hair plastered to his forehead, eyes wide and vulnerable, still sniffling from the remnants of his earlier fit. The bathroom was a hazy sanctuary, tiles cool under my feet, the air thick with the scent of my lavender body wash mingling with the faint, lingering pollen from the apartment beyond. I stepped closer, my hands finding the hem of his soaked shirt, peeling it up slowly over his chest, revealing the lean muscles beneath, dotted with droplets that traced rivulets down to his waistband. He shivered, not from cold, but from the intensity of my gaze, his breath hitching softly—“hih…”—as if the steam itself teased his sensitive nose.
“Let me help you,” I murmured, my voice a low, commanding purr, fingers lingering on his skin, tracing the lines of his ribs. He nodded, flustered, his hands tentatively reaching for my blouse, unbuttoning it with trembling fingers. The fabric clung wetly, peeling away to expose my lace bra, my freckled shoulders, the curve of my breasts heaving with anticipation. I pressed against him, our bodies slick and heated, guiding his hands to my skirt’s zipper. As it fell away in a wet heap, I returned the favor, tugging at his pants, sliding them down his thighs along with his boxers, freeing his cock—already hard, throbbing with need, the head flushed and glistening under the water. He gasped, a soft whimper escaping as I wrapped my fingers around him lightly, teasing with feather-soft strokes, up and down the shaft, thumb circling the tip in lazy circles.
The sensation was electric; his skin velvet-smooth under my palm, pulsing in response, and I felt my own core clench with desire, slick heat building between my thighs.
“You’re so ready for me,” I whispered, leaning in to nip at his earlobe, my hand pumping slowly, deliberately, drawing out his moans as water pattered around us like rain on heated earth.
We lingered like that, bodies entwined, until the steam had us both breathless. I turned off the faucet, the sudden quiet amplifying our ragged breaths, and stepped out, grabbing fluffy towels but discarding them almost immediately. Why bother? I wanted him bare, exposed, skin still damp and warm as I took his hand, leading him down the hall to my bedroom.
The space was neat, minimalist—crisp white sheets on the king-sized bed, a few abstract prints on the walls, and behind the headboard, soft dim lights casting a golden glow in the dark. No clutter, just us, the air still heavy with the apartment’s floral scent.
I guided him to the bed, pushing him gently onto the mattress, his body compliant under my touch. “Lie back for me, Jake,” I said, my tone firm yet affectionate, climbing over him to straddle his waist briefly, feeling his hardness press against my inner thigh. He looked up at me, eyes dark with lust and a hint of uncertainty, that awkward charm making him all the more endearing. “You’re in charge here?” he asked, voice sheepish, a small smile tugging at his lips as he reached up to trace my hip.
I leaned down, capturing his mouth in a deep kiss, tongue exploring with possessive hunger. “Yes, baby. I am. And you’re going to love it.” Pulling back, I reached for the silk ties I’d kept in the nightstand—soft, black ribbons that whispered against his skin as I looped them around his wrists, securing them to the bed frame with gentle but unyielding knots. He tested them lightly, a soft tug, his breath quickening. “Iris… this is… intense,” he murmured, but there was no protest, only eager submission in his tone.
“Trust me,” I replied, sliding a satin sleeping mask over his eyes, the fabric cool and smooth against his flushed face. I sealed it with another passionate kiss, my lips devouring his, our bodies pressing together in a tangle of heat and desire, my breasts brushing his chest, nipples hardening at the friction. He couldn’t see now, blind to my movements, yet every sensation highlighted.
The rustle of sheets, the faint creak of the bed, the distant hum of the city outside.
I slipped away quietly, padding barefoot back to the living room, my skin prickling with goosebumps from the cooler air. There, on the coffee table, sat a bouquet of lilies, their petals creamy white and velvety, stamens heavy with golden pollen that dusted my fingers as I plucked one—thick, vibrant, loaded with the very essence that would unravel him.
Returning, I found him waiting, cock standing proud and twitching, wrists straining just a bit against the ties, his chest rising and falling in anticipation. I climbed onto the bed slowly, the mattress dipping under my weight, straddling his hips with deliberate grace.
My hand wrapped around his shaft again, guiding him to my entrance—wet, aching, ready. “I’m going to take you now,” I whispered, lowering myself inch by inch, feeling him stretch me, fill me completely, the sensation a delicious burn that made my walls clench around him. A moan escaped my lips, deep and throaty, pleasure rippling through me like waves on a stormy sea, my hips settling flush against his.
Jake bucked beneath me, struggling against the ties, wrists pulling taut as whimpers spilled from his throat—desperate, needy sounds that fueled my own arousal. “Oh god, Iris… you feel… so fucking good,” he groaned, voice breaking into a whimper, his body arching up to meet mine.
I began to ride him slowly, hips rolling in languid circles, each movement sending sparks of ecstasy through my core, my breasts bouncing softly with the rhythm, skin slick from the shower’s residue.
He moaned louder, groans turning to whimpers of praise—“Please, more… you’re amazing, Iris, fuck, don’t stop”—begging in that sweet, submissive way, his blindness amplifying every thrust, every slide of our bodies together. The air was thick with our scents.
I leaned forward, the lily hidden in my hand, bringing it gently up to his face, the pollen-dusted stamens brushing his twitching nostrils. This was going to be fun.
Jake seems so pathetic I wanna put him in a jar and shake him ❤️❤️❤️ please please post more content of him I want to watch him suffer
YESSS YOU GET IT!! More pathetic Jake content coming soon 🤗
I’ve received many inquiries about my OCs Jake and Iris, and though I’ve never thought I’d share my writing on here, I am so unbelievably overwhelmed by the support and love for the few posts I’ve shared, I can’t even describe how grateful I am.
So, since many requested more information about Jake and Iris, here is the first part of a very long one shot about Jake and Iris’s first meeting.
Also….. ummmm 200 followers? What the actual heck guys. Thank you 🥲
With out further delay here is 3.5 k words of my horny delusional writing 😝 (and it’s only part one. Jesus…)
Minors DNI! DO NOT REBLOG TO NON KINK BLOGS!
The house warming party// part 1
Premise: Jake meets alluring Iris at a housewarming dinner, where unbeknownst to her, her perfume triggers his intense allergies.
JAKE
I adjusted the collar of my shirt for what felt like the tenth time, staring at my reflection in the rearview mirror of my beat-up Honda. The housewarming invite from Alex came last week. We’d kept in touch since college, grabbing beers every few months, swapping stories about our dead-end jobs and failed attempts at getting our shit together. But this…dinner party? It screamed “setup,” especially after he’d casually mentioned his coworker Iris would be there.
“She’s great, man. Smart, funny, and single. You’d hit it off.”
Yeah, right. Me, the guy who has never had a girlfriend, who had mediocre going-on-unpleasant sex once at 20, who can’t even look a girl in the eye without my brain malfunctioning. Me.
Confidence around women wasn’t exactly my strong suit.
I grabbed the bottle of wine I’d picked up,
a cheap Cabernet that the clerk assured me was “decent for the price”, and stepped out into the cool evening air. Alex’s new place was a modest house in the suburbs, the kind with a neatly trimmed lawn and a welcome mat that looked like it had never seen a muddy boot. As I approached the door, a faint itch prickled at the back of my nose. Pollen season was winding down, but the neighborhood trees were still shedding their invisible torment. I rubbed my nostrils discreetly, hoping it wouldn’t escalate. Allergies were my constant shadow—pollen, dust, pet dander, and god forbid anyone wore strong perfume. One whiff could turn me into a sneezing mess.
The door swung open before I could knock, and there was Alex, grinning like he’d just won the lottery, his arm slung around his boyfriend Mark’s shoulder. “Jake! You made it. Come on in, dude.”
“Hey, man. Congrats on the place.” I handed over the wine and clapped him on the back, stepping into the warm glow of the living room. The space was cozy, still smelling faintly of fresh paint and unpacked boxes. A small dining table was set for five, with mismatched chairs and a centerpiece of wildflowers that made my nose twitch again. Damn, those looked pollen-heavy.
“Everyone, this is Jake, my old college buddy,” Alex announced, steering me toward the group. Mark waved from the kitchen, stirring something that smelled like garlic and herbs. Next to him was his cousin, Lena, a bubbly woman in her mid-twenties with short curly hair, who gave me a friendly nod while pouring drinks.
And then there was Iris. She was perched on the edge of the couch, legs crossed, chatting animatedly with Lena. The drawings I’d seen in my mind’s eye from Alex’s vague descriptions didn’t do her justice—long auburn hair cascading over her shoulders like a waterfall at sunset, freckles dusting her cheeks like stars on a clear night, and eyes that sparkled with a quiet intelligence. She wore a simple blouse and skirt, but there was something effortlessly magnetic about her, the way she leaned in as she listened to Lena, her smile warm and genuine. My heart did a stupid little flip, and I felt that familiar awkwardness creep in, that made my palms sweat and my words tangle.
“Iris, this is Jake,” Alex said, winking at me not-so-subtly. “The one I told you about—the tech whiz and the trivia god.”
She turned to me, her smile widening, and extended a hand. “Hi, Jake. Alex has been singing your praises. Nice to meet you.”
Her voice was smooth, like honey over warm toast, with a slight lilt that made my stomach knot. I shook her hand, hoping mine wasn’t too clammy. “Hey, Iris. Nice to meet you too. Alex exaggerates, though.
I-I’m not that good at trivia .” A slight stutter sneaked in to my words.
She laughed, a light, melodic sound that sent a shiver down my spine. “Modest, huh? I like that. What do you do for work?”
“Software engineer,” I replied, settling into the chair across from her as Alex herded us toward the table. “Boring stuff, mostly fixing bugs in apps. You?”
“Oh, I work at the firm with Alex on marketing. It’s creative, but half the time it’s just arguing with spreadsheets.” She tilted her head, studying me with those piercing eyes. “Alex mentioned you two were roommates in college. Any good stories?”
Before I could answer, Mark called out from the kitchen, “Dinner’s ready! Pasta primavera, salad, and garlic bread. Nothing fancy, but it’ll fill you up.”
Dinner commenced. The conversation flowing easily as plates were passed around. Lena dove into a tale about her recent trip to Europe, her enthusiasm infectious, while Alex and Mark bantered about the horrors of moving. I tried to chime in, but my gaze kept drifting to Iris. She was right across from me, her presence like a gentle pull, making the room feel smaller, more intimate. Every time she spoke, her words carried a subtle confidence that I envied—asking thoughtful questions, laughing at the right moments.
As I took a bite of pasta, that prickly sensation in my nose returned, sharper this time. It wasn’t the flowers; I’d sat far enough from them. No, this was different—a floral, musky scent wafting subtly across the table. Perfume? Shit. I sniffed discreetly, trying to pinpoint it. Iris shifted in her seat, and there it was again, stronger now, teasing the edges of my nostrils like tiny feathers. Her perfume. It was intoxicating in more ways than one—rich and alluring, but damn if it wasn’t stirring up trouble.
I rubbed my nose with the back of my hand, hoping no one noticed. “This pasta is great, Mark,” I said, my voice a touch nasal.
“What’s the secret?”
Mark grinned. “Fresh herbs from the garden. And a lot of butter.”
Iris leaned forward, her eyes locking onto mine. “Jake, you okay? You look a little… flushed.”
Shit. Was it that obvious? The tickle was building, a persistent itch deep in my sinuses, making my eyes water just a bit. I forced a smile, awkward as ever. “Yeah, totally. Just, uh, allergies acting up a little. Nothing major.”
She tilted her head, concern mixing with curiosity in her expression. “Oh, poor thing. What are you allergic to? Maybe we can move the flowers or something.”
IRIS
I watched him from across the table, this Jake, with his dark hair tousled just enough to look effortlessly charming, those glasses perched on his straight nose giving him that intellectual edge that always pulls me in. He was cute in a boyish way—semi-awkward, the kind of man who fumbles his words but means every one of them. When Alex introduced us, I caught the way his eyes lingered on me, a flicker of attraction that made my skin tingle. I liked it. I liked him already, the subtle blush creeping up his neck, the way he adjusted his posture like he was trying too hard to seem at ease. Straightforward, unpretentious. A refreshing change from the overconfident types who think a smirk is what gets a girl going.
The conversation swirled around us like a lazy river, the clink of forks against plates punctuating the laughter. I leaned in, savoring the warmth of the room, the faint garlic aroma mingling with the wildflowers’ earthy sweetness. But my focus kept drifting back to Jake. He was engaging, chiming in with a dry wit that made me smile, but something was off. His voice had taken on a nasal edge, and every few seconds, he’d rub at his nose with the back of his hand, a discreet gesture that only drew my attention more.
—“Oh, poor thing,” I said softly, my voice dipping into that husky tone I reserve for moments like this, when I want to draw someone closer. “What are you allergic to? Maybe we can move the flowers or something.”
He hesitated, his fingers pausing mid-rub, and I saw it then, the subtle twitch in his nostrils, those delicate flares widening just a fraction as if something invisible was teasing them from within. His eyes watered ever so slightly, the rims turning a soft pink, and he blinked rapidly, trying to play it cool.
God, it was endearing. And so much more. A spark ignited low in my belly, unbidden but familiar, the way his vulnerability peeked through, raw and unfiltered.
“Just… everything, really,” he managed, his words hitching a little, like his breath was catching on the edge of something. “Pollen, dust, pets… perfumes sometimes, if they’re strong.” He laughed it off, but it came out strained, and there it was again: a soft, involuntary hitch in his breathing. “Hh… it’s fine, though. Really.”
I tilted my head, letting my hair cascade over one shoulder, watching him, that itch seemed to deepen. His nostrils quivered, the pinkish rims flaring wider now, trembling with each shallow inhale. He pressed a finger under his nose, rubbing firmly, but it only seemed to make it worse. His chest rose and fell unevenly, those little hitches building—“Hh… hih…”—slipping out like he couldn’t contain it.
Lena was mid-story about a disastrous Eiffel Tower proposal she’d witnessed, but I barely heard her. My gaze was locked on Jake, on the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, fighting whatever was building inside him. His lips parted slightly, breath quickening, and I felt a flush creep up my own neck, heat pooling between my thighs. There was something so intoxicating about it—the loss of control, the way his body betrayed him in such an intimate, helpless way. I shifted in my seat, crossing my legs tighter, my pulse thrumming with a wicked thrill. He was trying so hard to hold it together, and it only made me want to unravel him more.
Then it hit, the first one. His head tilted back just a touch, eyes squeezing shut behind those glasses, nostrils flaring dramatically—wide, quivering ovals that betrayed the intensity of the tickle. “Hih… hih’NGXt!” He stifled it into his sleeve, the sound muffled but sharp, like a sudden burst of restrained energy, wet and desperate. In my mind, it echoed like a thunder—deep, throaty, with that edge of congestion that made it sound utterly vulnerable. God, it sent a shiver through me, my nipples tightening under my blouse. I bit my lip, masking my reaction with a concerned smile, but inside, I was on fire. Why did this affect me so? The rawness of it, the way his face contorted in that split-second of surrender.
He sniffled wetly, excusing himself with a mumbled “excuse mb’e,” his voice thicker now, eyes darting around the table as if embarrassed. But it wasn’t done. Oh no, I could see it building again, those hitches returning faster—“Hih… hhih…”—his breath stuttering as he tried to respond to Alex’s question about some college prank. His nostrils twitched incessantly, the left one flaring more than the right, rimmed with a faint sheen of moisture. He pinched the bridge of his nose, but it was futile. “I… hih… yeah, that was—hih’KSCHuu!” This one was louder, less contained, exploding out of him with a spray that he barely caught in his napkin. It sounded powerful, almost relieved, with a harsh, itchy edge that lingered in the air like an aftertaste—deep and resonant. One that vibrates through your chest. My core clenched at the sound, a rush of arousal making me squeeze my thighs together helplessly. Fuck, he was adorable like this, all flustered and sneezy, his cheeks flushed a deeper red. I imagined tracing my fingers along that twitching nose, coaxing out more, and the thought made me ache.
The fit wasn’t letting up. He sneezed again, doubled over slightly—“Heh’ISHHoo! Hah… hah’CHSHH!”—two in quick succession, each one wetter than the last, the sounds building in intensity: the first a sharp, ticklish release, the second deeper, more exhausted, like his nose was finally giving in to the torment. His glasses slipped down his nose, and he pushed them back up with a shaky hand, sniffling thickly, eyes glassy and apologetic. Everyone murmured sympathies, but I was transfixed, my body humming with desire. The way his nostrils continued to flare even after, red and irritated, quivering with residual itches—it was mesmerizing. I wanted to pull him aside, to watch up close, to feel the warmth of his breath as he hitched and sneezed.
“Poor thing,” I purred, leaning forward, my voice low and soothing, laced with that sultry undertone that always gets what I want. “You sound miserable. How about we step outside for some fresh air? I could use a break from the crowd myself.” I let my eyes meet his, holding the gaze a beat longer than necessary, inviting him in without saying it outright.
He blinked, those watery eyes widening a fraction, and I saw the hesitation—the insecure flicker, like he couldn’t believe I’d suggest it. But he didn’t say no. Of course he didn’t; I could sense his attraction, the way he mirrored my lean, drawn to me despite the chaos in his sinuses. “Uh… yeah, sure. That… hih… that might help.” His voice was congested, hitched, but agreeable, almost eager beneath the awkwardness.
I stood gracefully, smoothing my skirt, my heart racing with anticipation. As we excused ourselves and headed toward the back door.
JAKE
I followed Iris out the back door, my heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with the allergies, or at least, that’s what I told myself. The cool night air hit me like a balm at first, the suburban backyard quiet under a canopy of stars, the faint hum of crickets and distant traffic the only soundtrack. Alex’s place backed onto a small garden, overgrown with late-blooming flowers that probably weren’t helping, but anything was better than the confined space inside where that scent—her scent—had been trapping me like a velvet noose.
God, she was stunning, even in the dim glow from the porch light. Her auburn hair caught the faint illumination, shimmering like polished copper, and the way her hips swayed just a fraction as she led the way to a pair of Adirondack chairs made my mouth go dry. She moved with this effortless grace, confident and alluring, her skirt brushing against her legs in a whisper of fabric that I couldn’t help but notice. I felt like a fumbling idiot next to her, my glasses fogging slightly from the shift in temperature, my nose still prickling with that insistent, feathery tease.
We settled into the chairs, the wood creaking under us, and she turned to me with those freckle-dusted cheeks flushed just a bit, maybe from the wine, maybe from something else. I couldn’t read her, not really; women like her were a mystery to me, the kind that made my insecurities flare up like a bad rash. “Better out here?” she asked, her voice low and smooth, like warm silk sliding over skin. She leaned in a little, and there it was again—that perfume, wafting toward me on the gentle breeze, jasmine and vanilla intertwining in a heady embrace that invaded my sinuses without mercy. The tickle sharpened instantly, a tiny spark igniting into a full-blown fire deep in my nostrils, making them flare wide as if begging for release. I rubbed at the bridge of my nose, feeling the warmth there, the subtle redness I knew was creeping in from the irritation.
“Yeah, a bit,” I managed, but my voice hitched mid-sentence, that telltale “hih…” slipping out before I could clamp down on it. The sensation was exquisite torture— a persistent, fluttering itch that danced along the sensitive membranes, like invisible feathers brushing against every nerve ending, building pressure that made my eyes water and my breath come in shallow, uneven gasps. I’d always had this weird thing with sneezing, something buried deep that I’d never dared to unpack. As a kid, I’d feel this strange thrill when someone sneezed around me, especially if it was drawn out, vulnerable. But my own fits? They embarrassed me, yet there was this undercurrent of… arousal?
No, I pushed that thought away, like always. It was stupid, perverse.
Being a sneeze prone man, that came with the blessings, I hated them. They made it worse, turned the embarrassment into something intimate, spotlighting the helplessness. If a pretty girl ever said “bless you” with that soft concern, it could stir something low in my gut, make me shift uncomfortably to hide the evidence. But with Iris? Fuck, she was on another level. Just imagining her voice wrapping around those words made my cock twitch traitorously.
She tilted her head, her eyes, those deep, expressive pools, locking onto mine with a mix of sympathy and something sharper, more curious. “You must be so itchy,” she murmured, her tone dipping into a sultry purr that sent a shiver straight down my spine. “Your nose all red like that, poor thing. It looks so sensitive, flared up and twitchy.” Her words hung in the air, laced with a fussing tenderness that made my face burn hotter. She reached out, almost as if to touch my arm, but pulled back, her fingers lingering in the space between us. Up close like this, I could see the curve of her lips, full and inviting, the way her blouse hugged the swell of her breasts, rising and falling with her breath. She was fussing over me, and it was undoing me thread by thread.
I tried to respond, to play it cool—“It’s not that ba—hih… hih’NGXt!”—but the sneeze cut me off, stifled into my elbow, a sharp, congested burst that rattled through my chest. The sensation was overwhelming: the itch peaked, my nostrils quivering wildly, rims pink and damp, as the pressure released in a wet, muffled spray. It felt like a dam breaking, relief mingled with that forbidden spark, my body tensing in ways it shouldn’t. But it wasn’t done; oh no, the perfume was relentless, clinging to her like a second skin, each inhale pulling more of it into me. My nose twitched again, the tickle rebuilding almost immediately, faster this time, like a storm gathering speed. “Sorry, I—hih… heh…” My breath hitched audibly, chest heaving as I fought it, but it was useless.
Fantasies flashed unbidden, her on top of me, that skirt hiked up, her breasts spilling from that blouse, soft and warm, and me sneezing helplessly against them, the spray misting her skin while she whispered encouragements. Jesus, where did that come from? My cock stirred harder at the image, straining against my pants, and I crossed my legs to hide it, mortified.
Iris leaned closer, her concern deepening, that alluring smile playing on her lips like she was enjoying this—wait, was she?
“Aw, don’t apologize, sweetie. Let it out if you need to. You look like you’re building up to something big.” Her voice was a caress, fussing in a way that made the itch intensify, as if her words were stoking the fire.
My nostrils flared wider, trembling with each hitch—“Hih… hih’ISHHoo!”—this one escaped freer, a harsh, desperate expulsion that bent me forward, the sound deep and throaty, echoing in the night air like a confession. The release was electric, waves of sensation rippling through me, the wetness on my lips, the after-tingle making my sinuses buzz.
But the rapid ones followed, relentless: “Heh… heh’CHSHH! Hah’KSCHuu!” Two more in quick succession, each one building on the last, a ticklish snap, sharp and itchy, spraying fine mist. I was out of breath, my body shuddering with the force. I could feel the redness blooming across my nose, hot and inflamed, the itch lingering.
Through watery eyes, I glanced at her, and she was a vision, her eyes wide with innocence but gleaming with something darker, more intrigued. She bit her lower lip, fussing again: “Bless you, oh my god, that sounded so intense. Your poor nose. You must be dying from that itch—does it tickle really bad, making you just have to sneeze like that?” Her words hit like a bolt, wrapping around me, and damn if it didn’t make me harden fully, the arousal mixing with the allergy haze in a confusing, sensual fog.
I hated being blessed, the way it spotlighted my weakness, but coming from her? It was intoxicating, fueling those hidden desires I’d buried. I sniffled thickly, trying to speak through the building hitches—“Th-thanks, it’s just—hih… the air out here isn’t—heh… helping as much as I—hih’NGXshh!” Another stifled one, but it came out wetter, more urgent, my body betraying me in waves of sensation that blurred the line between torment and pleasure.
She scooted her chair closer, her hand finally resting on my knee—a light touch, but electric, sending jolts through me. “Shh, it’s okay. Just breathe through it. Or don’t—maybe you need to sneeze more to get it out.” Her voice was smooth, fussing with a sultry edge that made my head spin. I was lost in it, the itch coiling tighter, my nose twitching uncontrollably, flares wide and desperate, as another fit loomed. “I… I think I—hih… heh’ISHH! Hah’CHOO! Heh… heh’KSCHHoo!” They tumbled out rapidly, while I tried to stammer excuses, the build-up teasing, the release a shuddering ecstasy that left me breathless, hard, and utterly exposed under her gaze.
heyy, so back in the summer of 2024 I started this series on the blue site about a guy who does wavs while reading poems aloud. as requested by a few comments, I wrote more of it. I sorta went back and forth about whether or not I’d post this here, and I thought why not. each chapter is basically just the wav so there’s no other context you need to catch up on, just plain snzfuckery.
892 words // [link to all chapters on the blue site]
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-New recording 157-
There’s a scratch, and then silence. Then a rustling sound, but it’s delicate - tissues being pulled from a box, two or three, and a shaky gulping sound. Another beat, soon filled with shuddery, choiceless breaths, so desperate that his voice appears in each torturous, snagging one.
“-hihH-! heih! … heeh! ng’hihh…”
He sniffles, a miserable action restricted by inflammation. And worse, it tickles. A whimper escapes his trembling lips, and he mashes the wad of tissues against his nose until his dizzying hitching breaths calm a little.
“hih-! heih! Hi…” he begins, in a weak exhale. “I’b tr’hh… t-try’ig dot to… hh-hihh! s-s-sdeeh… heihh-? eeEiHtt’-!!-ohhh…”
Whoa. Dangerously close. His brow pinches and his neck muscles move with a hard swallow.
“I‘b tryi’g dot to sdeeze.” His voice is softened with bashfulness after starting off so intense and staccato. “Because, I… *snrff!* I got request to. So… *k’hrm!*”
There are soft taps of thin paperback covers on a tabletop. He snuffles, blinking his teary eyes as they loll out of focus. He’s sure his expression in a sight, as it’s very difficult to rest his facial muscles in a way that won’t let the sneeze escape. Eyes squinting, nostrils damp and flexing. Both flushed in an autumn maple leaf red, and streaming down his face.
“I’b- *koF!* Mb, ‘scuse be. *sdDRFF!* Unh, I’b… godda read- AHd’SSCHHIEWWfh!!!” The sneeze slips from his control, spraying the book pages and the desktop in front of him. It takes up all of his might to hold in the next sneeze. “hAAH’-!” The sharp beginning of an exhale, and then a real one with muscles relaxed. “-ohhhh… *snrg* S-hih!-sorry, I- idDSSCHHiue-!!!”
He winces, sniffling thickly as his nose streams down his upper lip. Then, it’s back to precarious hitching.
There’s a short pause as he lifts the folded tissues to his nose. He blows hard and wetly, soaking the material.
“Sorry, *hsnrf!* ub… Oh by god, it’s so hard,” he chuckles hoarsely, and wipes his teary eyes with the palm of one hand. He puts the other hand on the open book. “I’b godda read a poeb c-called… *snrf* It’s called ‘A Waki’g Seasod’ by Ndora Shirley… hheh… *snnrgk!* …. h-hht’- ..hihH-!! -n’hhh…. *hsnnrg* Ah.
I live these days id shadow
Climbi’g out frob subway burrows
*snnrk* Stepping over *hsnnrk* a’d aroudd… ugh, *hsnnrk!* the hh’streabs, of…
Hhh’the streabs…”
Watery mucus runs down his upper lip. He keeps sucking in liquid, drippy sniffles, not like they’d prevented the flow, perhaps out of habit. Or focus. Or the protection of his book.
The sneezes come splashing, spraying out, crushing his gasping attempts to hold them in. There’s a relief after the violence that graces him for mere seconds, momentarily quieting the buzzing, looming itch. When they’re finished with their vengeful override, he blinks through bleary eyes. He touches the open page with careful fingertips. Droplets seep into the paper. He swallows, dazed, and reaches for more tissues.
“Ehh’excuse be, Ihh’b… oh-” Quickly, he buries his nose into the tissues, his brow pinching at the intense itch. “AAyY’ISSSCHIUHHh!!! huhh-? AAD’EISSCHHIUHHhh!!!…. *gsnf!*”
He blows his nose. There’s relief in that too, the shift scratching some of the itch where the constant sniffling had irritated him. He exhales. And breathes in again, without interruption. Then out. “*’grmm!* … Wow. Excuse be.” His shining eyes fall back to the page and the stanza, and find the line he’d stopped at. The words form in just-about-legible squeaky utterances, between thick snuffles and soft coughs.
“Steppi’g over a’d aroudd the streabs…
Collectiods of footpridts casted id slush.
… *hsdrff* ….
This is the district of art a’d mbuseubs, ihh-! Dowd the s- ‘heiHh! heH’hih!”
His eyes squeeze shut, eyebrows wrinkling with desperation. The suppressed itch has formed a feeling of pressure in the centre of his face. This time the hitching breaths are quiet, coming fast. He gasps for more of them to try and postpone the inevitable sneeze. He’s curling slightly, pressing the crumpled tissues under his nose.
Still tense, his eyes slowly flutter open. He tries for some more words, but they come in a whisper, shivering and heavily nasal.
“-hHih!’hih! D-hh! Dowd the street from the-hihh! high e’d shops, a’d…
God. He’s grateful to already be holding something over his nose and mouth, because this time- “hh’b sorry, I c-cad’t hold baahh’-hihHH! HAiyYY’ESSCHHIEUWw!!!’USSCHHiew!! iyY’AAASSHIEWW!!! -asshhieww!!”
The tissues grow more and more damp with each sneeze, and these are huge, barrelling from him before he can think of doing anything else.
“-AAEISSCHHIEWWw!!! -Aghh…. *snrk*”
On his phone screen, the audio waveform spikes as he pulls more tissues, clutching the sodden ones to his face. He lowers them with a thick sniff, and drops them in the wastebasket. His fingers fold the new tissues together. Mouth agape and panting. Nostrils twinging, deep red and running.
“uUH’RRUSSCHHIEWWh!!! ‘guhh….”
He blows his nose, finally. When he emerges, he presses the folded edge of the tissue against his sore nostrils.
“…’hew. Ub…. *gsnrff!*” His teary eyes drift from the book to his phone. “I’b godda stop dow.” He chuckles, the sound deflated and whistly. “*ah-hem!* *snrk!* Thagks for listedi’g. Bye.”
Concept: A multi-headed entity (a hydra, for example) sneezing.
One head has big buildups and an explosive sneeze: “Hiiihh, iiihh, hhuuhhh!! HHH, HHHHHDT—! HHHHHUUUUHHH’IISSSCCCHHHH!!”
One head has very rapid fire sneezes with little to no buildup: “Hiiisschhoo—iisscchhoo—iiisscchhoo—iiisschhoo!!”
The third head isn’t sneezy but has a very runny nose. They keep sniffling and rubbing their nose, and maybe over time they start to hitch but the irritation isn’t enough to let them sneeze yet.
I just love the idea of one entity having such different sneezes and each of their noses reacting differently to the same irritant.
turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
izzy806
