[curseworm]

actually i never experience negative consequences due to procrastination. i am occasionally blighted by god for unknowable reasons though

[sewerfight-deactivated20250114]

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

[powerburial]

socially progressive guy when a nonbinary person asks him out: oh sorry im only into nonbinary girls

[sasukeless]

people on tiktok would never survive a day on tumblr

[brucebocchi]

i have like six mutuals this could accurately describe

[prokopetz]

Tumblr's favourite types of Guy*:

Guy with improbably specialised skills that just happen to be exactly what's needed

Guy who knows a guy

Guy who's normal about things about which it's not normal to be normal

Guy who has no frame of reference

Guy who should technically be dead, and it's honestly an excellent question why he's not

Guy who's a big fan of substances

Guy who puts together sequences of words that have never been heard before and should never be heard again

Guy who's inexplicably always damp

Guy who's the most annoying human being you've ever met, but like in a sexy way

Guy with no kids who somehow has single father energy

Guy who's competent, collected, and thoroughly put together, and who also has one extremely specific thing wrong with him

Guy with fat fucking tits

* Note: a Guy is not necessarily a guy, though it helps

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

one of lifes evil ironies is when a kid (undiagnosed w a hereditary phys/mental health issue) goes to their parent and says “hey im experiencing (symptom of undiagnosed hereditary disorder) should we do something about that” and parent (also undiagnosed) goes “no thats normal i also experience that dont worry”

[tlirsgender]

People can't handle some bitch with an undercut talking about pronouns well I want my rep weirder I want cis people to get scared I want to see 4D chess type of genderfuckery I want genderfluidity I want to see girlfags and boydykes fucking each other do I make myself clear

[tlirsgender]

The kind of transgenderism they let you see on tv is so sanitized and palatable and holding your hand through basic concepts in the year 2022 and the cis are still mad. Well I want to take it further actually. You're weak and you won't survive the winter

[vampire-the-askerade]

Clan leader Tremere c. 1999

[the-bloody-masquerade]

[partywithponies]

I love vague labels that make people go "but that's confusing" or "but that could mean anything" Good. Keep guessing lol

[partywithponies]

"Queer doesn't actually tell me anything" who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.

[firstfullmoon]

thinking about that illustration of solitude vs loneliness in which solitude is a dog peacefully holding its own leash & loneliness is a feral dog fighting against the restraint of the leash & feeling slightly insane

[retrocausality]

Jaakko Pallasvuo

[256x224-deactivated20240130]

I go outside regularly

[antlershade]

no you don't

[256x224-deactivated20240130]

okay fine I go outside weirdly

[clowngirlpony]

"Wtf did you just kiss me????"

"Omg I've had a crush on you for the longest time too.."

[gemstone-gynoid]

"jerma either looks like a greek adonis or a decrepit drauger even in the same stream"

[demoninc]

[impsemporium]

nobody can do a thing.

[cheetahgirlmuscles]

Let me examine closer *my eyes turn purple and blaze with spiritual power* oh yeah no that's an egret not a heron, it's got black legs

[podcastwizard]

how could you hide this in the tags

[basedandfatpilled-deactivated20]