Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

komodobits enthusiast

[toskarinfr]

my ability to take this 🫢 emoji seriously has been obliterated by that one image

[toskarinfr]

getting this image beamed into my head psionically whenever i see it used in any context

[eelizabit]

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

[hergraveyard]

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

[auckie]

Men will see a mouse and eat it

[hergraveyard]

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

[auckie]

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

[dogpuppy]

[evilvillain123456789]

step one: replace entire personality with open, festering wound

step two: contort absolutely all stimuli in my environment to relate to the my wound in some manner, ideally one which justifies random acts of unbridled aggression and vengeance

step three: marry a girl with generational wealth

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[dragongirl-weed]

transcription by @jub3r7

"This is getting ridiculous now. Where did you find this contraption? How did you build it? You're not really rolling them straight :/ I'm not sure I like this at all, I don't like the noise. See what's the point! That didn't break with the contraption, so it doesn't coun- I liked that one. That one was neat and clean. It was a clean break. Don't like the noise - she was with chil- you're BEATING the child! It's just sick. It's twisted - HE was with child. Okay. Something about this is... where are these children coming from? Seems unnecessary that they're all pregnant. Just straight beating that Pepsi and their plastic. I don't like this - it's SADISTIC. This is sadistic. I don't - they're SPRITZING me!" *from other video, a man's voice, vaguely sounding like a moan: oooooooooh. oohhhh* lady: "I'm sorry. What was that?" *last bottle falls* (with disappointment) "No."

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[ghostparties]

Girl Pictures by Justine Kurland

[senatortedcruz]

I am in fucking tears

[treecitysessions]

Text I got from my guy friend who’s currently dating a man for the first time when I asked him how it’s going

[treecitysessions]

I heavily fw bro

[oswednesday]

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

[teaboot]

I would immediately suspect you to be the whimsical assassin who killed them

[milfsisyphus]

he feels like the omega man

[dusttt]

To the bold ff.net user in 2013 who tried to write Moby-Dick from the whale’s perspective, please get back here you were cooking

[glowcowboy]

ohhhh i get it now. the little seed of loneliness i’ve carried with me since i was five will never go away

[cainightfics]

any interest in angelliot?

men and women being together is sinful and unnatural. and it makes my eyes glaze over

[lousolversons]

Martin Wallström as Tyrell Wellick MR. ROBOT (2016 - 2019)

[viciousrat]

how it feels to be a tyrelliot shipper in the year 2025