The Science of Accomplishing Nothing

[sleepy-bebby]

Review of a butterfly farm… 🦋

[boggblog]

I interned at a place w butterflies and had to tell a mom to please stop offering the “snacks” on the pedestals to her kids and we had to give a speech to all the ppl who entered which I added lines to daily. Including the infamous “butterflies like fruit that’s a little older than what we eat, so the fruit is just for them! Please don’t eat it!” And “please please please please please don’t come in here if you’re afraid of butterflies.” It was the closest thing to hell I’ve ever experienced

[mynameis-snail]

*going to a butterfly farm* there better not be any fuckin butterflies in here

[you-are-another-me]

[fatlittlewife]

elvis

[psycho-delic--cunt]

I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know

[unrealunearths]

10/10

[cumulusthighs]

[transcendent-09373-deactivated2]

[guooey]

finally…

[hollowboobtheory]

shut up this is the only video I care about

[secondbeatsongs]

…until the sauce is what?

[chick-it-out]

😙👌🍝🐓

[secondbeatsongs]

this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

[haystarrs-deactivated20200728]

[peakingeveryday-deactivated2025]

[theboy-thebitch-thelegend]

[tikkety-tok]

[pawprint3]

This is better than any snl sketch

[kingofdoma]

when you so shit they gotta bust out a famous violinist to drag you

[raptorific]

funniest thing would be if when Queen Elizabeth dies or steps down and Charles is all ready to assume the throne, here comes King Arthur, Excalibur in hand, sauntering back from Avalon like “oof what a nap! thanks for keeping the chair warm I’m back to be king again”

[raptorific]

like, given that “King Arthur isn’t actually dead, he’ll be back to be King again someday” is, like, an actual aspect of the legend and a thing that a lot of people purport to believe, has anyone ever actually tried it? showing up to buckingham palace claiming to be Arthur Pendragon, The Once And Future King, and assume the throne? does the british government have a protocol for checking whether someone claiming to be King Arthur actually is? does parliament have a secret picture of the Real Excalibur kept under lock and key, only viewed if someone claims to be King Arthur, that they can use to confirm or refute the identity of alleged Kings Arthur? if not, how do they deter every jackass with a sward from pretending to be him? does filing a false King Arthur report constitute treason?

[lunetta-suzie-jewel]

The rules are simple. “Arthur” has to show up with a sword. They give the sword to the Lady of the Lake, and if she throws it back to the claimant, he’s legit and gets to be king again.

[pargolettasworld]

So the test for King Arthur’s identity falls to the even less officially identifiable Lady of the Lake.  No one can even agree on which Lady, or which lake, is the official one, much less how to tell if you’ve got The Lady of The Lake.  All of which suggests that all you need to accomplish this is one (1) sword, a willing female acquaintance, and a nearby body of water. 

There isn’t even any requirement for “Arthur” to catch the sword, so the Lady can just javelin an epee right at him.

[lunetta-suzie-jewel]

Well when you look at it that way, one might conclude that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

so who really comes out on top

[fileth-fourth]

モモの水道水さんはTwitterを使っています 月面着陸🚀💖

[viviraptor]

a fucking mongus?

[lexingt0n]

AMONGUS

[redchrominance]

girl your tits are amongus

[ampervadasz]

[peachmage]

[phantomrose96]

Day 286 of quarantine I have discovered www.webstaurantstore.com

It is, I BELIEVE, a website intended to be used by restaurants for bulk ordering food and utensils. And this is bringing me such unbounded delight scrolling through and recognizing that I, a single individual, ALSO can order ridiculous obscene enormous offensive-to-all-common-sensibilities shipments of BULK FOOD, to my LITTLE LITTLE APARTMENT, for PENNIES on the dollar. I have this god given power to flood my entire living space with bulk grains and it is one single button click away from my reality.

30 POUNDS of chocolate for $100. 20 POUNDS of peas for $13?? $13!!!! I will wake up every single morning from now on knowing that a box of donuts and a sack of dried split peas heavy enough to bodily injure someone both carry equal monetary weight. 25 POUNDS OF ONION POWDER for $50. Do you understand the enormity? the accessibility? the potential here? With the single click of the button I can put myself in a position of bequeathing more than a humanly comprehensible amount of onion powder in my will. AND IT WOULD ONLY COST ME $50 TO MAKE THIS A REALITY.

But what gets me

What truly gets me

is the 50 POUND BAG OF RICE 

FOR LESS THAN $20

Do you know how much that kills me? How much I’m losing my mind? that I can order MYSELF WORTH OF RICE for something to the tune of $50? I can OUT-RANK MYSELF WITH RICE, DEMOCRATICALLY OVERRULE MYSELF WITH RICE, IN MY OWN APARTMENT for the fucking PENNIES that is $50

I’m so sorry for the normal person I’ll be after quarantine because the cabin-fever version of me I’m inhabiting right now is perhaps just uninhibited enough to follow through on this dream I’ve just discovered of out-ricing myself.

[closet-keys]

real talk though, if you had a large number of people in your community who wanted a particular food item and couldn’t afford it (for instance if you’re in a food desert and need produce or if you’re a part of a large disabled and/or overworked community who all need prepared frozen food), you could pool funds and get an order from a supply store like this.

it requires organizing for finance management, ordering, transport, and distribution, but if you build a stable mutual aid network, it’s genuinely within the realm of possibility.

[anarchopuppy]

This idea is called a buyers club (or buying club, buying coop, etc) and it’s a great time-tested method of mutual aid. And there are guides and tools for starting your own at managemy.coop

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[yarrowthewitch]

"This crystal is good for such-and-such organ!" oh yeah name 3 of that organ's functions

[yarrowthewitch]

"This will cleanse your body of toxins" Oh? Which ones? What are their names? Why are they bad for you? What symptoms do they cause?

[halibellecter]

This is the only good addition to this post