Give Me A Break Already

✨The personality hire for your team comps ✨

[c-53]

How do cats just manifest trash. You’ll vacuum your entire house and turn around and your cat will be running around with a kind of cardboard that didn’t exist until two seconds ago.

[entropic-introspection]

By this point the WoL can just go “I know a guy” in about 98% of all situations, but like the guy in question is

Just some guy, kind of the weirdest thing is that they know the WoL

Just Some Guy, but like. There is something distinctly off about them, like maybe they have been living in the wilderness alone for 15 years, who knows, but like. They do the job!

An expert in the field. Makes sense, you probably run into those saving the world and whatnot.

A world-renown expert in the field. Still makes sense, but wow you were not expecting that for your silly problem.

A world-renown person. Like, everyone’s heard of Cid Garlond by this point, what do you mean you have him on speed dial.

A world leader. You thought the Elder Seedseer never left Gridania except in times of crisis, but ok!

A dragon, quite possibly of the first brood or otherwise quite old. This feels like overkill.

Something you weren’t even expecting to be sentient, like the plushy chocobo and its robotic friend. Extremely weird.

A literal cryptid or person you thought was entirely mythical. Sure, this might as well happen.

You never meet ‘the guy’, because apparently ‘the guy’ lives in a different world/dimension. Somehow still gives excellent and applicable advice.

The WoL, but this time in a different outfit (silly hat included)

[nyaa]

[yurimartyr]

Collection

[eddwardtheseventhstardrawnwizard]

Gotta have a griller in your collection

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[tigirl-and-co]

[zoesupreme]

no for real like sit over there and drink your little beverage and stay tf out of the way let me cook

[weaselle]

as a kitchen dweller this is 100% my preferred configuration

big cooking sessions are a ven diagram that makes a circle of "Do Not Enter My Cooking Space" and "Please Hang Out and Talk with Me"

also, this is sort of similar to Shotgun Duties in a car - on a long kitchen trip Kitchen Chair should be in charge of music, and be available for such things as "can you hand me that towel?" and "oh thanks for refilling my drink" ... and of course watching out for cops

[sexycraisinthanos]

When I ask for help in the kitchen I specifically mean this. Hand me stuff I can’t reach and stay the fuck out of my way so we can chat

[wagyubeefs]

i don’t think we as a fandom talk enough about how alistair can straight up tell morrigan she went to clown school like… in game

[wagyubeefs]

(alistiar: oh ho, ho. funny. i see you went to clown academy at flemeth’s finishing school of the wilds.)

[homunculus-argument]

I fucking hate the french language. They'll call something shit like "the fatal allure of the dark shimmering mistress" and it's slang for when you stick your dick in a wine bottle and get stuck.

[depsidase]

[stuckinapril]

kitten I’ll be honest the finality of everything in this world haunts daddy like a second shadow

[caffeinatedopossum]

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.

[antigonehappy]

modern sansa stark has a tiktok account where she does mid song covers and outfit checks and a bunch of other generic young teen stuff. cersei occasionally comments to give her somewhat overcritical fashion pointers except as cersei's own world starts falling apart she ends up giving sansa increasingly questionable and cynical life advice until she's full on sitting on her luxury duvet three glasses of wine in venting through tiktok comments to this thirteen year old child who is just sitting there like. ok. and then sansa starts matching names to faces and realizes that this lady is actually the mother of her terrible jerk middle school ex-bf and blocks her so cersei retaliates by reporting sansa's account for terrorism.

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

if you’re doordashing a mattress from mattress firm you’re a fucking terrorist

[pokemon]

Ee-e-e-e-ee-e-e-vee Ee-vee EEVEE

[64mpg]

[sisifroggy]

Unhinged Text Posts: Zevran Arainai Edition

Zevran, you'll always be famous to me, pookie

[sisifroggy]

Unhinged Text Posts: Sten Edition

Bioware, when is my tired wife returning from the war? The kids miss him

[cacturne]

when you want to play your video games but dont have the energy for it its like who wants to be my proxy that does the gameplay while i watch and make every decision in the game from the comfort of my bed

[cacturne]

[rosewearsclothes]

ever since I was a little girl I’ve been a bitch