next dynamic were sexualizing is that of a bull and a toreador
I'd rather be in outer space šø
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@thunderlovesbird
next dynamic were sexualizing is that of a bull and a toreador
Revolting little machine I hope someone guy fawkeses you too.
(Context: was trying to find the text of a version of the Guy Fawkes poem which ends 'are we glad that they stopped him or not?' Was not expecting this thing to run defence for the UK parliament 400 years ago)
Btw, if you ever wanted an indicator of the ideological censorship that now exists, and how pervasive it has become? The poem I was looking for, with its implication that maybe it might not have been a bad thing to blow up parliament way back when, was published in a children's book two decades ago. Without incident. Now I can't even SEARCH for that poem without receiving a telling off for its contents.
For all that the 1800s etiquette guides are--obviously--derangedly sexist from a modern perspective? They're also mindblowing in how casually they will assert things that MODERN DAY CONSERVATIVES would scream and cry and shit their pants about.
"People back then always married young it's natural!!!" Every single 1800s guide I've ever met casually mentions that, of course, you really shouldn't get married before you're at least 20, and waiting until 25 is usually better.
Or, like. Okay here's a long segment:
Just firmly going "it is crazy sexist to blame The Wife for overspending when thirty seconds of asking questions will immediately establish that her husband was outright lying to her about how much money they had. Talk to your wife like a normal person."
Or--okay, here. A section on being honest and not writing love letters in secret, because that's usually a good sign that there's something untoward going on....
....except that he then immediately acknowledges that sometimes, the reason you're hiding this from your parents is that your parents suck. That there are parents who frankly have not earned the right to approve or disapprove of your partner.
(I realize the phrasing there sounds a lot less strong than my summary, but--trust me on this. When you're familiar with the narrative voice of these kinds of books, this passage is downright radical. The mere acknowledgement that if you treat your kids badly, it's your own damn fault when they don't talk to you? I've genuinely never seen that before in this genre. Don't freak out over "properly trained", either. It's just a linguistic shift--at the time, "training" was used the way we would say "raising" a child today. )
"Delete all the nudes and sexts after a breakup or you're a piece of shit" has been the standard expectation since EIGHT. TEEN. EIGHTY. FIVE.
"Men and women being friends with each other is literally normal. Don't be a controlling freak."
Anyway I was wrong the publishing date is actually 1882 so like.
"If you have to abuse a child to keep order in your classroom then you're a bad teacher."
So like @ the modern Republican party, are the "traditional family values" in the fucking room with us right now--
god iām not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic
psychic: these are hieroglyphics⦠the spirits are trying to communicateā¦
home inspector: you put new paint over old paint and now the old paint is bleeding through, thatās why youāre not supposed to do that
homeowner: my daughterās room is always cold⦠cold like the deadā¦
home inspector: you put furniture on top of her heating vent
business owner: i got locked in the bathroom even though the door has no lock
home inspector: it has a lock. the lock is right there. on the knob.
Fun fact a scientist who is very not spiritual or superstitious began seeing corner eye hallucinations and feeling intense fear and a presence in his lab around the same time that everyone else in the building was suddenly reporting it haunted.
Determined, he found that the āhauntingsā stopped when the industrial air conditioning unit, that had just recently been installed, was turned off. Weāve found that measurable micro vibrations in a structure cause immense fear, and a feeling of a presence and corner eye hallucinations ā just like when you watch a scary movie alone at night and you see things move in the corner of your eye or are afraid to go in the cellar because youāre convinced someoneās in there.
Why?
Because many members of our species built homes in and around cliffs and caves for tens of thousands of years. And itās likely that these certain shaky vibrations give us intense fear and a need to move far away because that would have saved our lives if the cave were collapsing or unstable.
Youāll notice itās always falling apart, dilapidated homes that are āhauntedā - or very very old restored homes. These places might just be slightly structurally unsound. Thatās all.
Thatās infrasound, sounds that are below 20hz, or the limit of normal human hearing. Things that produce infrasound in nature include severe weather, earthquakes, volcanoes, tigers, alligators, rhinoceros; also known as things that can kill people. We developed an evolutionary sense of dread when our brains perceive sounds we cannot hear. The vibrations from infrasound can also vibrate the eye causing visual hallucinations.Ā
You know what also causes infrasound? A LOT of machines, especially large industrial ones. Thereās a reason haunted house stories started popping up in post industrialization. That scientist was Vic Tandy and he wrote about it in a the paper Ghosts in the Machines
āVic Tandy, experimental officer and part-time lecturer in the school of international studies and law at Coventry University, along with Dr. Tony Lawrence of the Universityās psychology department, wrote in 1998 a paper called āGhosts in the Machineā for the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research. Their research suggested that an infrasonic signal of 19 Hz might be responsible for some ghost sightings. Tandy was working late one night alone in a supposedly haunted laboratory at Warwick, when he felt very anxious and could detect a grey blob out of the corner of his eye. When Tandy turned to face the grey blob, there was nothing.The following day, Tandy was working on his fencing foil, with the handle held in a vice. Although there was nothing touching it, the blade started to vibrate wildly. Further investigation led Tandy to discover that the extractor fan in the lab was emitting a frequency of 18.98 Hz, very close to the resonant frequency of the eye given as 18 Hz by NASA. This, Tandy conjectured, was why he had seen a ghostly figureāit was, he believed, an optical illusion caused by his eyeballs resonating. The room was exactly half a wavelength in length, and the desk was in the centre, thus causing a standing wave which caused the vibration of the foil.ā
Okay I didnāt need my eyes to have a resonation frequency but thanks for that, science
There is an absolutely fantastic video about this show by the always-interesting Jenny Nicholson:
Many episodes are available on YouTube.
im fucking crying
Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).
When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".
When the boat is still being built, your say "it".
When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".
When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".
When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.
If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").
If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")
If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").
If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.
If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.
I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.
Hit "view post" and lost it
asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.
the natural lifespan of a fandom is unlimited. when well tended a fandom can be functionally immortal. and yet everywhere you look you see newly bred fandoms withering and dying when theyāre barely a year old. barely even six months old. fans are looking at their six month old fandoms and saying i think itās on its last legs, should i euthanise it? when with the proper care that fandom could outlive them for decades. itās sad. sad state of affairs weāre in.
me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: š¤¤
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup
Happy Moon Landing Eve! Remember to leave out milk and cookies for Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong, and donāt let Michael Collins convince you to prank NASA!
If Tumblr is still here next July 19th, I fully expect this post to obliterate my activity feed.
One of my brothers has this thing where he likes to be included on sibling movie night but he will not sit down or actually join us, heāll just wander around the house and periodically show up to lurk in the doorway or lean on someoneās seat
And *I* have this thing where I always always know when heās there, because every time heās not wandering around like the ghost of bob marley and isnāt immediately visible itās because heās stopped moving to watch the film from directly behind me, which makes the back of my neck tingle like a dog sensing an earthquake
Which has on more than one occasion resulted in me interrupting the movie to tell him to just sit the fuck down and stop lurking in the shadows, Jesus Christ, itās like Iām being haunted by the memory of ancient sins
Which has in turn been shortened to just āancient sinsā, every time I feel him doing it again
So to summarize, sometimes when my siblings and I get together for a movie night, weāll all be sitting in the dark in complete silence until my ass deadpan announces āancient sinsā and a 90 pound 5ā11ā Slenderman looking motherfucker emerges from the shadows behind me like a jumpscare incarnate in Batman pajamas pants and informs me that we are out of orange soda
I fucked up a little bit
āfool quail (for its behavior)ā ok⦠rude
like many people have said this better than me but no it IS odd that we've come to think of potatoes as so quintessentially european that their presence in historical fantasy where they're anachronistic doesn't jar. and yes people are trying to have the trappings of post-colonial europe without engaging w the icky colonialism part and yes people are neglecting to imagine what a european cuisine without potatoes would be like.
im fully in favour of 'let people have fun w their fantasy world' but is considering how the potatoes got there in the absence of colonialism not a fun exercise? maybe every year the dragon riders go on a great transatlantic potato pilgrimage
perhaps a good way to sum up the issue here is:
if you put potatoes in your medieval european style fantasy world people will by and large not find it jarring and accept it as a normal fantasy trope
if you put, say, black people in your medieval european style fantasy world a whole demographic of people will get very angry and accuse you of breaking their immersion
this is in spite of the fact that black people were a lot more common in medieval europe than potatoes.
āaverage person eats 3 spiders a yearā factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because iām handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)
holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later
A 2025 update
You have became this medieval role, how do you feel about it
you are in the medieval era and you have this role!
How do you feel?
great!! I love this
good!
It's okay
So bad. I hate this
This is similar to my real job!
Results/other
You did not have to transport me to medieval times for this
Youād think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that youād become slightly less obsessed with seeing peopleās cats but no if anything it gets worse
Now that there are two whole cats in my life I have become even more obsessed with cats. Tell your cats I said hi.
I am reminded every day why I love cats because theyāre right there, doing cat things, being absolutely adorable and committing cat crimes. They are friends with me and are so soft and also sharp.
I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days