autism in the key of books

im 25 and didnt know i was autistic or bi until after i got my english degree (i definitely shouldve known).

[sofieofbooktopia]

i would like to get railed by darrel curtis end quote.

[queenpotatothegreat]

Fuck it we bawl (starts sobbing uncontrollably)

[redstonedust]

love characters who are like "this is how the world works. this is how it has to be (because if i'm wrong i have to face what i've done // if i'm wrong i have to face whats been done to me) "

[tlbodine]

This trait is much more endearing in fiction than in my mother.

[sofieofbooktopia]

i dont think im gonna be lovable anymore. that bit just aint for me. im going to isolate myself and become a monster, maybe master the art of making caramel sauce.

[sofieofbooktopia]

finally realizing the reason vacations have always been disappointing to me is because i think i can leave my trauma at home.

[zoltyx]

My favorite period drama shot for my birthday post:

[firawren]

I love how he takes her hand without asking. He just hates seeing her in pain and loves her so much that it’s instinctual 🥹

[sofieofbooktopia]

there is nothing sluttier than this moment and if a man i love did this i would shit myself.

[firawren]

Happy 30th anniversary to Pride and Prejudice 1995!

I wanted to reblog my very favorite P&P95 posts for today, but #pride and prejudice 1995 is my 18th most frequent tag with almost 300 posts tagged with it, so I couldn't comb through all of them.

I will, however, direct you to my P&P 1995 text post memes, all of which I am proud of, and as you've seen, I've been reblogging random other P&P95 posts that have been sitting in my drafts for awhile.

P&P95 will always hold a very special place in my heart. It's what got me really into Jane Austen. I had just read P&P in my high school English class, and I loved it. But then I watched the 1995 miniseries on VHS at my best friend's house, and I fell in love with it. And with Colin Firth.

That was the start of my Jane Austen obsession. That was the reason I read all the rest of Austen's books and letters, took a course on her in college, spent my first ever trip abroad visiting Austen locations from her life, books, and movies, have a picture of Colin Firth on my pillow, use the P&P95 opening credits music as my ringtone, make a ridiculous amount of Austen memes, started writing Austen fanfic, created the Janeuary fandom event, and do so many other things that have brought me joy in my life.

So, thank you P&P95 for impacting my life in such a far-reaching and positive way. You're not perfect, but that doesn't matter. You're important to me. I love you.

[fibro-memes]

[ahotknife]

you can claim that pride & prejudice (2005) is overplayed and overdone. whatever. i’ll let you have your opinions. but every time i see a smash cut of clips from that movie where darcy is looking at elizabeth like she is a lake in a desert and he’s been forbidden to swim makes me want to scream. i’m genuinely afraid i will die without knowing what it feels like to have someone look at me like that. do you hear what i’m saying. i’m eating my drywall

[sofieofbooktopia]

what am i supposed to wake up to after a nightmare if im single and my housing doesnt allow pets?

[houndmother]

i’m burning the candle at ends you’ve never heard of

[houndmother]

exactly

[sofieofbooktopia]

i cant say i had an emotionally stable mom just because i knew how to avoid triggering her.

[autisticinnovator]

After a lifetime of being unable to read facial expressions & body language, feeling lost socially, and getting bullied for my autistic ways, I just avoid people.

Part of me wonders if autistics actually prefer being alone, or if we just want to not be bullied anymore.

[sofieofbooktopia]

for me its the second one.

[notecardpasta]

I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind

[countthelions]

#if you line up several neuroses and identify the interlocking connections between them they should all vanish like clearing a line in tetris (via @karliahs)

[redstonedust]

its funny when events that probably couldve been traumatic dont bother you so you'll end up casually dropping stuff like "so after that time i almost got lost at sea as a kid-" and theyll be like WHAT and youre like. oh yeah dont worry its just part of my lore. its honestly not even a top five interesting backstory moment. focus please.

[segamascott]

[sofieofbooktopia]

i dont know how else to describe it besides mourning my childhood. it's something ive only started doing in the past two years, only since coming to grad school, and i dont know how to make it better. i saw a handsome little teenage boy being so silly the other day and all the ladies watched him eat a massive bowl of lucky charms, and i almost cried in public. bc high school me would have loved that. high school me would have had such a huge crush on this boy downing cereal at 9pm. im crushed on a regular basis that i wasnt allowed to fall in love without the majority of my prefrontal cortex. now i have to hyper-intellectualize my feelings for 30 yo men who make catastrophic choices with bigger repercussions bc they are grown ups. bc i never got to listen to my whimsical little heart when i was 16. so shoutout to all the boys and girls i wanted to love when i was only a child but couldn't bc my mom said i wasn't allowed to have crushes bc i was too young to get married. maybe it isn't about the union of marriage--maybe teenage love is about learning union with yourself as you listen to your feelings in full volume.