I feel old

oh god why am I still on here

[normal-horoscopes]

There once was a doctor named Freud

[happy-hudson-deactivated2023083]

who woman preferred to a-void

[whilommm]

bitch loved his cocaine

[normal-horoscopes]

But he couldn't explain

[triggerjolly]

Hatsune Miku vocaloid

[ponyboyfaceshopping]

feeling like the health inspector

[ponyboyfaceshopping]

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[were-wolfdog]

[hungwy]

first mammoth to get hit with a spear mustve been like actually fuck you for real

[rostbef]

I think this applies to every mammoth hit by a spear

[moxyinverse]

no the rest of them didn't mind

[rosequart]

"company erases all evidence of children's cartoon as a tax write-off" "ten tv shows that will be removed from their streaming services right now, forever" "creative production on indefinite pause because the algorithm said so" "game developers forced to leave company they created due to made-up financial reasons" "fully completed film will never be released because their ceo will lose five dollars"

[antlershade]

person who streams art but does exaggerated reactions like they're a gamer. re-doing a line 15 times and just screaming louder and louder with each brush stroke

[cowboydeanwinchester]

will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake

[cowboydeanwinchester]

so when i made this i didn’t expect ANY notes so i feel like an asshole now for not explaining. so incase you check the notes, 86 in restaurant terms means “unavailable or out of stock” but has kinda morphed into “omit” or “leave out”. but none of us had worked in a restaurant before, also why would you not just say “no cherries” it’s the same amount of characters to type

[charaah]

Man ordering food: I work in the restaurant business ;)

Children working at restaurant: this guy must really like cherries. Got something in your eye there sir

[swanmotifs]

thinking abt when pacrim said there are people out there who will have the capacity to know you completely and love you in a way where you genuinely complete each other, VERY much a metaphor for platos concept of two souls splitting from one and then said this is important because you can pilot a huge robot and beat up giant aliens together

[calamitys-child]

Like how come being burnt out by social interaction is only acceptable under the age of ten. “Oh he’s had a busy few days and he’s tired out from seeing you all, it was exciting and he needs a nap” is a perfectly normal thing to say about a grouchy or sleepy wean but “Oh I’ve had a busy few days and I’m tired out from seeing you all, it was exciting and I need a nap” isn’t something I’m allowed to say at age 21? It’s true! I’ve used all my fuckin spoons now!! I want a pillow!!!!

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

yno how you pay spotify every month to let you listen to music w/o ads n maybe download some for offline listening but then when a song is deleted or taken down you still see it but its shadow realmed u dont get to listen to it ever again despite having downloaded it ages ago and also if you cancel the subscription u lose all th songs so you never really had them in the first place and thats everything right now. paying rent for songs and films and shows and services that arent mine from the moment i stop paying constantly all t he time for them. i want to chew metal and kill the scumpeople who decided one-time buying and owning was a thin ng of the past

[cheltrei]

[whatleighdoesnext]

Twitter stealing our ideas again

[the-gay-cryptid]

No, they can have this one. I think it would be funny

[quasi-normalcy]

"We're the daughters of the witches you couldn't burn."

Oh, shut up! If you lived during the European Witch Craze, you'd be the one accusing the mentally ill woman down the lane of cavorting with Satan, and we all know it, because it's exactly how you behave now. Fuck off.

[detectivehole]

this is the first sponsored post i've seen

[googledocsdyke]

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

[mostlybats-partiallyrats]

How fucking old are you people?

[googledocsdyke]

normal amount

[chaoticgouda]

I’m sorry milord, but the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

[fieldbears]

and the ship name, squire? what is the ship name

[angelicgarnet]

some things that happen in hannibal that sound very fake 

hannibal eats his doctor because he was homophobic to him 

a guy kins a painting so hard that he eats it 

hannibal sends a furry to go murder will. will ends up killing said furry in self defense and enjoys it a little too much. hannibal tends to his wounds in a very affectionate and romantic way 

hannibal has a heightened sense of smell which allows him to detect will’s brain infection long before it’s diagnosed. he does not tell him about this 

a guy hates his social worker so much that he puts him inside of a horse 

a guy gets so high that he cuts off his own face and feeds it to some dogs. then he eats his own nose 

hannibal carries will bridal-style for 30 hours straight in the snow 

[sm64mario]

Hm… Mario’sa saw an ad in the newspaper for’a part time job! Mario’sa gonna take it! It’a seems like easy pay! Yahoo!

[sm64mario]

First’a night on the job, everyone!

[sm64mario]

Why are they moving.

[sophisticatedferret]

it’s the drop in the accent for me