[penny-anna]

what the hell is going on

[penny-anna]

i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.

[penny-anna]

Please god it would be so funny

[penny-anna]

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

[penny-anna]

Answers to some questions re Count Binface logistics:

Yes, he is a 100% real candidate and if elected would become the MP for Clacton

I've never voted anywhere with a gag candidate but I believe he does appear on the ballot as Count Binface. I assume candidates have to undergo an ID check at some point but there's no rule that says you have to run under your legal name. There is a precedent for people who have been professionally going by a name different from their government name keeping their professional name when they pivot into politics.

And like, how do you police what is and is not an acceptable name? You might say 'no joke names' but if Count Binface says his name is earnest self expression and not a joke how can you prove him wrong?

Count Binface's real name is public knowledge and there is an element of kayfabe going on wrt everyone playing along w the character.

If elected he probably would have to stop wearing the outfit as it would contravene a number of House of Commons regulations around hats and face coverings and also armour.

You do not need to live in a constituency to run for their seat in parliament. You do need 10 nominations from constituents. You also have to pay a £500 deposit which you will get back if you achieve more than 5% of the votes. Count Binface has never got his deposit back but this could be his year 🤞

Because the bar is comparatively low, it's not wildly uncommon for people to run for parliament for the bit or to make a point. Gag candidates generally DO have a point they're trying to make, whether it's an actual protest (as w Robert Pownall who runs for parliament in a fursuit to promote animal welfare) or just to illustrate the fact that anyone can run for parliament on any platform. Some people seem to have interpreted Binface as expressing disdain for the system but weirdly, no! He is actually expressing his appreciation for democracy.

[44prop]

one normal day in british politics that’s all i ask for . will never happen

[dragons-are-epic]

None of the other parties are running so it's genuinely going to be Farage vs Count Binface in the Clacton by-election.

[monkeysky]

Minotaur is not a species

The Minotaur was named that because he was the son of King Minos. Anyone with a bull head has to be named after their dad, like the Kyletaur or something.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[wintersoldierfell]

hang on i gotta google something

[supreme-leader-stoat]

I am so sorry.

[luke-naberrie]

nigel farage resigning to try and delay the investigation into him and immediately restanding for election in the same constituency, only for every single major party to say 'yeah nah have fun pal, see you back at work for the investigation' and refusing to entertain him is hilarious enough on its own.

the fact that the only person running against him is fucking count binface, who is promising to build one (1) affordable house, is hysterical. and he has a not zero chance of winning.

[loveridden1999]

[rhube]

Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?

Let me explain:

Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.

Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.

Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.

He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.

Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.

To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.

Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.

But. There is another option.

COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.

Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.

Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.

But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.

Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Also, for reference, Farage resigning won't actually stop the investigation against him. The investigation will just be paused while the by-election is going on.

If he wins, the investigation will no longer be paused. It looks very likely that Farage will be found to have breached parliamentary disclosure rules which, considered the severity (5 million quid ain't nothing), could get Farage suspended from parliament.

And if Farage is suspended for 10 days or more, it could trigger a recall petition which can trigger a new by-election that Nigel would have to stand in again if he wants to keep his seat.

But if he loses, the investigation may be picked up again. Not being an MP does not mean the investigation can't continue. If it's considered appropriate, it will carry on.

I say this for anyone in Clacton-on-Sea who worries voting for the Count would let Nigel off scot-free. Farage does not have a get-out-of-jail-free-card for this investigation. Especially because there's at least another four Reform donations that were reported by bankers as suspicious.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

All very true lol

To clarify further, candidates like Count Binface, Lord Buckethead, etc will stand in elections as the political equivalent of some dangly shiny keys to distract toddlers - there are always people who want to protest vote, and also people who will do what they think is funniest. So, these guys will stand in constituencies where important candidates are running to mop up the idiot votes and help protect the integrity of the actual contest. This is why they run in the constituency where the incumbent prime minister stands.

Here, it's necessary because of the exceptionally weird situation described above

HOWEVER, I should stress that there are actually multiple candidates - no post I've seen on this subject on Tumblr this far seems to mention this, so I think everyone is coming away with the idea that it's Farage or Binface. Ad OP says, no MAJOR parties are standing - even the Tories are calling this "Farage's fake by-election" (insert the Good Place "Even Jason got it? This one hurts" meme). But, there are currently nine confirmed candidates! Let's take a look at the high quality the people of Clacton are being given:

Nigel Farage. See above. He is standing for Reform, the UK's main far-right party which is splintering into identical sounding smaller parties even as we speak

Count Binface, the political extra-terrestrial alter ego of comedian Jonathan David Harvey (his stand-up shows are currently selling the fuck out lol)

Reclaim, one of the splinters from Reform, are sending infamous washed-up racist actor and all round piece of shit Laurence Fox, a man who simply will not stop partaking of his favourite hobby, which is losing defamation lawsuits for calling gay men and drag queens paedophiles

The British Democratic Party, a splinter group founded by former National Front members from the British National Party who felt the BNP was getting too soft and left-wing, are sending Kai Stephens.

The Forward Party, a party so obscure they don't even have a Wikipedia page, are sending Adham Alkhatip. He, too, does not have a Wikipedia page

And now! The independents!

6. Piers Corbyn, a conspiracy theorist who thinks climate change and COVID are hoaxes and is friends with David Icke (and describes his ex-wife as a Jewess)

7. Rob Pownall, an anti-fox hunting campaigner who likes to stand for election while dressed as a fox

8. Ollie Granger, a television personality

9. Luke Worley, a reality TV guy who, unlike everyone else on this list, is actually from Clacton

Meanwhile, the Monster Raving Loony Party have stated that they intend to field a candidate. So between Binface, the fox guy and whoever they choose, we might actually get three separate candidates in fancy dress to watch Nigel Farage's weird temper tantrum

[rottingtrouble-child]

I saw this video about a doctor who performed an MRI on a 5 year old and discovered she essentially had “brain damage” from excessive iPad use, as the white matter in her brain couldn’t form properly due to an understimulated environment.

Hmm it’s almost like there’s supposed to be adult figures responsible for monitoring her screen time and making sure she develops properly… certainly this isn’t the result of neglect at the hands of her parents…

[needsmoreexplosions]

Since Google is useless now I propose the new phrase "Wikipedia is free" when someone tries to derail a post they know jack shit about

[thestuffedalligator]

A while back there was a tiktok going “Ooo this is the best restaurant and I’m not telling you where it is ;) you’re going to have to guess ;)))”

And another guy stitched it with a whole breakdown of her most recent posts to go “The day before you posted this you posted another video saying you met this celebrity and he had just posted that he was in this city. You also posted a video in a hotel room and after searching up hotels in this city, we can tell it was this hotel because the wallpaper in your video matches the wallpaper in pictures on their website. By looking up restaurants by this hotel we can tell you went to this specific restaurant” and he was right

And people called him a creep, but I think we should take this as a moral lesson to lie about ourselves online more. I’m actually a talking dog and I live in a Montreal poutinerie

[sunderwight]

"That pairing would never be canon" and what of it? I'm only supposed to ship what the church tells me to or something?

[scooplery]

"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

[innerchildabortionclinic]

also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.

[sawed-on-shotgun]

the human body when you use it and exist in it

[infectiouspiss]

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

[infectiouspiss]

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

[infectiouspiss]

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

[boringkate]

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

[paradigm-adrift]

I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.

Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.

[terramythos]

holy shit this person in the notes

[thepl-ace-icallhome]

[duskdragonxiii]

I always forget Americans have sinks that kill everything