Concerning Heffalumps and Woozles

thirty-something, hella queer, imperfect plural, CEDU survivor, starving artist. they/them Someday I’ll make a website. Things that bring me joy: Books, D&D, Feminism, Fandoms, Sci-Fi, Math, Languages, Clever Quips, Bad Puns, Weird Science, The Latest Meme (Usually), Overthinking, Film, Art History, Your Art. If I like it, I reblog it. There is neither reason nor rhyme to this, no method. Rest in peace, Badger. You are loved and missed.

[omnipotina]

Settle a bet.

Who wins in a fight?

Kronk

Gaston

Voting ended onSep 7, 2023

[beemojis]

soooo true bestie

[wintermoth]

NO ONE GETS THEIR ASS BEAT IN A POLL LIKE GASTON

[solo-walker]

Among the various foods from different cultures that we see incorporated in ATLA (albeit with a fantasy twist), may I humbly suggest the fire paan? It's basically your usual south/south-east asian paan (aka betel leaves, areca nut, slaked lime, assorted spices etc.) except...

IT'S LITERALLY ON FIRE.

yeah, the seller sets it on fire after making it, and you fold and pop it into your mouth while it's still aflame. no, it doesn't burn your palate because it extinguishes once it's inside your mouth. and no, i haven't had the fortune of personally trying it, despite it being a popular and thrilling street food here.

so yeah, i don't know what 'fireflakes' are but this thing seems like something you'd find in a FN fairground or marketplace stall.

[atrusovaartist]

Acrylic on canvas 40*40 cm “Summer Sketch No. 3”

[positivestress]

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

[dajo42]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

[computationalcalculator]

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

[idontgettechnology]

I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.

[libraryogre]

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

[mothnem]

Well what ELSE were we supposed to do at the devil's sacrament????

[drowningbydegrees]

I used to be president of a company and made a devil's sacrament joke in a company-wide meeting without really thinking about it. On the one hand, the number of people who got it made me feel less like I'd stuck my foot in my mouth. On the other hand, I was the boss of everyone in that meeting and that... sure was a thing we all had to know about each other for the rest of eternity.

[valtsv]

if you're an adult behaving immaturely i'm not going to "treat you like a child" about it because i have a lot of respect for children as an oppressed and vulnerable class of people. i will however treat you like an embarrassment. which you are being.

[valtsv]

[kyotoprotocols]

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"

DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

do you think these people can read

[phoenix]

Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."

[saviorified]

when a woman points out that sports fans hate women and sports leagues hate women and athletes hate women people will often go "just watch women's sports" and it's a stupid fucking response every single time

[saviorified]

women should be respected in every single sports space, none of these structural issues are solved by just ... sending them somewhere else + the way people say this always comes across as demeaning; watching womens sports is worthwhile on its own, it shouldn’t be prescribed as exile for women who notice that the wider sports world hates them

[thatsbelievable]

[philcollinsenjoyer]

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

[prettyboyhere]

sister post to this

[frailbug]

you think that you're so alone in the world then you read literature from hundreds of years ago and you realize that other people have always felt this way

[millenniallust4death]

I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

[millenniallust4death]

Thank-you to all of my new Internet stranger friends for being so gracious about having my post shoved onto your dashboards. I loved reading all of your kind tags and comments! Both Martin and Bosco have been gone for several years now but for 24 hours, they felt very present in my life. I greatly appreciate this gift. ❤️

[psycorax]

Reblog to have your dashboard be visited by the spirit of joy that death can end but not erase.

[millenniallust4death]

Thank you to everyone who commented in their tags or messaged me. Indeed, today is “Martin and Bosco Day”. I originally whimsically blazed this photo on 13 July 2022. I never expected Martin and Bosco to travel so far and make so many new friends. The experience has been such a gift for me.

[velvetvexations]

"Even cis men?" is the obvious response to my stance that practically anyone can be lesbians, and to answer with another question: are any cis men actually doing that to begin with? I mean, unironically, not as a joke? Because I don't think they are. Generally cis men aren't not going to sincerely identify with the term the way cis women and trans people will. Cis men essentially self-regulate themselves out of the definition without anyone needing to make that definition have concrete limits.

Whether it's WLW, transmascs who drove through Dykeville to get where they are now, or anyone else, you should assume someone calling themselves a lesbian has a good reason for doing so.

[cock-holliday]

The only “cis men” i knew to use the label are the ones who lamented “i wish i could be a lesbian but unfortunately im a cis man” approximately a month before Realizing something about themselves and I will always ALWAYS maintain that being gentle about what that could mean for them is the right answer and not “omg you’re trying to prey on lesbians”

The two types of people to “jokingly” identify as a label:

1. Asshole trying to be edgy. If youre mad they double down, if you go ok ill call you that, they freak out and distance themselves from the label

2. Someone trying to figure themselves out

In both scenarios, using what they insist they are brings out the best outcome, and assuming someone is a 1 when they are a 2 and being hostile will only (shockingly) make it harder for them to come to terms with their identity

[sylas-dove]

and of course, i've said this before, but: if a cis man genuinely identifies with the label "lesbian" and is NOT joking about it, who cares? if someone feels like their attraction to women is queer even if they are ostensibly cisgender, that's none of my business and it's weird that people think it's theirs. what happened to the era of not asking people invasive questions about their gender, genitals, and sexuality?

[valtsv]

having both anxiety and depression is like that post about washing your meds down with redbull. you’d like to think that the constant fear of failure caused by your anxiety would cancel out the lack of motivation you feel thanks to your depression, but no. they are both working so very much and you cannot stop it.

[valtsv]

[joseshin]

It’s the duck paddling on the water thing.  The mind is going 100 mph, the body is just sitting there.

[brehaaorgana]

for the last time: if there's a sexy naked lady with long flowing hair and MAYBE a diaphanous sheet or flower crown; lots of swirlies and ribbon like curving LUSCIOUS shapes; very lush foliage (acanthus leaves, elegant flowers) and all kinds of fauna — both especially waterside (lily pads, lotuses, reeds, cranes, dragonflies); lots of green; everything is a lot of iron, stone, stained glass, mosaic, and carved wood; the windows or their frames are very Shaped; the lights are soft yellow; or it's a font with lots of line weight variation; feather tips are rounded; everything reminds you of france, vienna, or japan and something vaguely mediterranean; OR it's literally a Parisian metro station

— then it's art nouveau

and if the sexy lady has a bob cut or a hair cap and is wearing a column or flapper dress; there's a lot of geometry like rectangles, arches, rays, and diamonds; angels have super sharp wings and a lot of muscles; everything is steel, concrete, marble, gold, and red velvet seats; everything is VERY angular; and all the foliage is basically papyrus fronds; things feel vaguely Egyptian or Turkish or Mesopotamian; the fonts play with being very skinny or very thick and are sans serif with extra lines; or Gatsby would be found floating dead in that pool

— then it's art deco

[brehaaorgana]

And if looks kinda like art nouveau

— with lots of lush flora, tiny insects (like dragonflies) or graceful birds, stained glass, iron, warm golden lighting, lots of wood and wood carving (but now it's more wood paneling), a stylistic fondness for Japan, line weight variation in the font, and tile (but this time it's carved or sculpted on, not tiny mosaic)

but you're worried it's art deco

— because the forms (especially foliage) are very symmetrical and slightly more angular or blocky and graphic looking, things are more rectangular than circular or curvy in architecture, the patterns repeat more often, and more of the lamps are pyramids or rectangular, and there are nods to Egyptian or Ottoman style, and they used the color red (probably in an accent chair or carpet rug)

BUT there's no steel, concrete, gold plating or gilding, marble, big muscles, spiky or radiating diamond shapes, angular people, or flappers,

AND the vibes are jacobean, gothic, or spanish mission revival; they love some brick and stone; the wallpaper is an explosion of colorful pattern that could give you arsenic poisoning or help depict a descent into postpartum psychosis in a famous short story; but there are NO people to be seen, not even sexy ladies,

— then THAT is the arts & crafts movement.

[nonasuch]

hey did I ever post the best business card I’ve ever been given by a customer?

a woman wanted me to let her know if I had a particular item in storage, and she went to get a card out of her purse and went ‘oh no. I’m out of my work cards, I’m so sorry about this’ and handed me this:

apparently her husband made them for her as a joke but then she just had like 300 of them so they’re her backups when she runs out of her real business cards.