SHANE’S THING

bubbly sparkle lesbian : claire : 23 New Rochelle, New York

[thisfeebleheart]

Ilya is soooo charmed

[somegoodf-inghockey]

me going to buffalo for two years in undergrad and moving back home. this was personal

[snowsmoked]

Shane doesn't understand how lucky he got that his parents didn't come to the All Stars game. Yuna would have taken one look at her dressed up/prettied up son (who has never worn dressy clothes unless contractually obligated) talking to Ilya-heart-eyes-Rozanov who is looking at her boy like he's the love of his life, and she would have clocked their shit immediately. David saw their chemistry just by watching the game on TV. The game probably didn't even show Ilya kissing Shane's helmet because they would have been replaying the goal.

Then all three Hollanders would talk around it without actually talking about it for the rest of the weekend.

"Rozanov actually seems pretty nice in person."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Maybe we could invite him to grab dinner with us."

"No."

"You really hate him that much?"

"No, I just - like, we're not friends or whatever."

"Okay, where should we get dinner then?"

"I can't. I have plans tonight."

"Alright then, you boys have fun."

"What?"

"What?"

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[opiates]

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

[soppingwetratboy]

Being told what to do is great because then you know what to do

[rozanovshane]

[ahotknife]

there's something so sinister about hockey rpf being used for engagement bait when the national hockey league is so well known for its homophobia and intolerance that somehow in its 100+ year history there has never been one openly gay/out player on a major league hockey team. like 100 whole entire years have passed and not one single man felt safe enough to be himself. but sure every time the notifs slow down let's just whip some willmack out there into the public eye. that oughta do it. i'm sure this has been discussed before i think it's just even weirder in today's climate. like they (the league) are very much using these guys for marketing regardless of what personal feelings they may have on the matter. like the second you sign that contract not only does the nhl own your body but they also own the public narrative about your sexuality and relationships. and they're going to get everyone else in on the joke because they want views/clicks. really weird. what happened to reasonable expectations of privacy. what happened to boundaries. it is literally statistically impossible that there should be zero (0) gay players in your league's entire history + current roster and yet no man has lived his truth for fear of backlash. don't worry y'all it's 2026 we love the gays look at all the colorful tape on our sticks. you freaks and weirdos are totally welcome here. but ☝️ remember that being gay is for other people, and for hockey players it's only okay if it's a joke and/or being flouted for engagement. super awesome great work everyone. let's hit the showers

[hollanoveau]

okay twitter yall got me with this one. i laughed. guffawed, even. you may yet live.

[somegoodf-inghockey]

there is only one person in this world who can tell you what you are . me . coach wiebe. you are gay. this whole team is gay

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[carnationhes]

imagine ur already sober and autistic at the club and then u spot ur part time no commitment non monogamous long distance boyfriend sucking on some girls ear. and you’re gay

[somegoodf-inghockey]

if they cast harris as some skinny white man im gonna LOSE my mind

[ceruleanheaven]

i just wanna do nothinggggg 😭😭😭😭😭 which is like what im already doing but i wanna do it in a way that doesnt actively ruin my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[bonivers]

pilates will have you rethinking every decision you’ve ever made and then at the end you’re like Wait yay i should do this more 😋

[kdkdnfuiahuag]

during his first year in ottawa, ilya casually mentions he’s going to get coffee with david after practice and the team is like “who tf is david?????” meanwhile luca haas, hollanov shipper supreme, starts losing his fucking mind

[swearphil]

Even when you're not here, it becomes about you

[shanesbian]

i wish you were here

[somegoodf-inghockey]

also discussed this at a gathering but was i the only one who saw yuna hollander and was like .. smash. sorry was that just me ????

[sweetparagonradiance]

Hudcon "my boyfriend" 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

[somegoodf-inghockey]

no dna test needed that gay walk speaks for itself