I'm just a lover of a lot of things, occasionally taken over by the need to share politics. I write, I beta, I teach! And then I lay down crying into a latte cuz I haven't slept enough. I published a novel! "The Coward's Emblem" by A.D. Guier. 😉 The sequel is in the works. For fanfics, I've written for Sterek (Teen Wolf), Harvest Moon, Eyeshield 21, and more. Currently working on: Dragon Age stuff. Absolutely obsessed with Dragon Age, it's a problem. A bit more basic: cis, she/her, older than you'd think, and doing my best Header Image: commissioned from Sabri on IG Profile: Lanil (Surana) Lavellan from DA:I
"i was a transtrender" no you werent. you were just questioning your identity and then you decided that wasn't for you. that's a fucking healthy thing to do. fuck off lmao
I once thought I was asexual and it turned out I actually wasn’t ready to have sex before I had transitioned to a point where I was more comfortable with my body.
And in that time, the asexual community welcomed me, supported me, helped me feel good about who I was, protected me from the harm I would have done to myself if I had pushed myself to have sex. That made a huge difference.
If I see an opportunity to support asexual organizations, I do so not just because it’s good but also because they were there for me in a difficult part of my life without judgement. I owe them for that.
If you at one point identified as transgender or questioned your gender identity, maybe you too sought a home in the wrong place because you were struggling with something else. And it is very likely that the people in that home, the transgender community, believed you and welcomed you and listened to you.
And then when it turns out that you were searching for the wrong thing, you don’t just leave that community behind but you turn around and shit on them? Shame on you. What a shitty thing to do.
"wahh i only like enemies to lovers if it's gay bc i don't want men to be mean to women" what about a woman doing heinous shit to a man and that man (who also sucks) being pathetically psychosexually obsessed with her. you people have no fucking vision. if you were willing to read & write women doing actual wrongs this wouldn't be a problem. let that female character commit atrocities with the sole goal of ruining one guy's life while they have weird sexual tension about it
for reals this time! It's an update! Next chapter isn't even CLOSE to done, but YOLO. Enjoy all the DA2 cameos and Lanil being a giant dumb asset (for reasons, I swear there's characte reasons that have been laid out throughout the whole story 🤣 my dummybrat is dummy on purpose I swear. I do like how this turned out overall: more Dorian! more ... "Gary"! more will they won't they! (people like that, right???)
With each step you take in my Hall (Part II)
Chapter (13) 25: And light up our hearts with blood so bold.
Chapter (13) 25: And light up our hearts with blood so bold.
Finally! It's basically ready for posting! I added so much and it's such a better read, but there are still things I left on the chopping block (like, I was going to have the actual Valor Spirit from Origins show up but we have another Spirit here to help instead lol). I hope everyone enjoys a lil taste and, in honor of one of my newest readers, I may have leaned a little harder on the LanLen (Lanil×Cullen) scenes. Nothing too much, it's actually less so than originally (before the Love Vee happened), but it's quite a bit. For you, dear new reader/commenter!! imloveyousomuch
Chapter Excerpt:
An apple. Lanil wondered if the others, all awake now, were eating something as deliciously simple as a fresh apple. Obviously Hawke couldn’t wake up in the wagon to join them for lunch, and wherever Anders slept, he had chosen to remain asleep so Justice could be at their side until Hawke was safely out. Of course, Lanil had to stay asleep to keep Hawke in her dream. No one wanted to know what would happen if Lanil woke up and left Hawke behind. Would she immediately get lost or would she stay exactly where Lanil had left her? Would Lanil get lost falling asleep in some other portion of the Fade that called to her mage-mind and waste precious hours leading everyone back to Hawke? No, nothing like that was worth risking. Lanil was the anchor, so she would stay anchored at Hawke’s side. Everyone else, however, had intervals where they could wake up, eat, drink, stretch their limbs, make sure water and broth made their way into Lanil’s gullet without choking her, before falling right back into her dream.
“Lanil Surana,” Justice started, repeating himself in the exact same tone he used before.
“Lane is fine,” she said without thinking about it. Justice smiled at her. It wasn’t her brother’s indulgent little smirk, but it was a genuine smile on Anders’ face.
“Lane,” he began again, sounding fonder, but still too serious, “Anders is the Healer, not I. There’s only so much of his abilities that I can utilize. How much longer will Hawke last if we carry on the same as we have?”
Lanil blinked, throat constricting and the feeling of iron bands tightening around her chest. No matter how many hours she saved by refusing to awaken, no matter how little recuperation their friends got when they went to the material world and swiftly returned, no matter how easily Justice led them forward, it was still weeks of travel to get to the Emerald Graves via wagon and also via Fade. Weeks of Hawke trudging wearily, steadfastly along. If Justice was speaking truly and Hawke had drunk the last potion she’d had on her…
“Days. She has days left,” Lanil murmured. “People, living, breathing, material people, require clean, fresh water. As for food, she could last a little longer without it, but in the end, she can and will starve before we make it that far. Hawke can maybe last a little longer by creating water or food from mana… but it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be enough and it would deplete her mana. Eventually her mana will stop replenishing, too.”
Silence fell between them.
Then, his hand was on the top of her head, ruffling her hair lightly. The familiar touch made her eyes and nose sting.
“It will be all right, Lane. We’ve come too far and fought too hard to have it end like that,” Justice said. He dropped his hand and walked over to Hawke’s curled up form. Like a sentinel, like the Valor Spirit he’d initially reminded her of, the Spirit-mage stood straight and tall at the foot of the daybed Hawke lay on and silently watched her sleep.
Lanil couldn’t bear to see it a moment longer. She spun on her heel and strode away, staying close enough the Fade wouldn’t shift under her feet and take her away, but far enough to breathe. The sickening feeling of failure was spreading under her skin like a poison. Without Dorian or the Iron Bull to distract her, it was too hard to ignore it. To banish it with the stubborn hope she’d been clinging to since they’d left her Great Road and the Nightmare behind.
Fortunately, the Fade was a distraction all of its own.
This website is still here and some of the asks are heartbreaking. Like “Jamie wants a new pair of jeans because he’s never had new clothes before”. Or “Kayla wants a bag with her name on it for when she moves foster homes again.”
A lot of these kids ask for brand name clothing and it sounds pretentious but having one nice new fashionable piece of clothing means a lot when all your previous clothes have come out of black trash bags from charities.
Btw, you can filter wishes based on gender, age, price, etc to help you find the perfect wish for you. This charity is LGBTQ-affirming (unlike a lot of religion-based charities that are unfortunately homophobic), so you can even look for nonbinary kids to donate to.
Also, I would really encourage people to be open to granting wishes made by older foster kids (14+) or young adults who aged out of the system and still lack family support. They’re so often forgotten.
If you don’t have a lot of money but still want to help give a kid a nice Christmas, there are lots of wishes that are $24 for stocking stuffers as well, or $15 for a sqishmallow!
I just want to add that right now, there are so many pending wishes for food. Kids are asking for food from the universe (and yeah, “kids” includes young adults just entering the work force–eighteen and hungry is just as morally wrong as eight and hungry).
Chapter 11 (Ch): Their vengeful hearts could not give in
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
A new update! And the next chapter (rough draft) is finished already. @sillyliterature @ketolic (I can't tag you?) were a huge help with joining me in a bunch of writing sessions 🥰🥰🥰 I might actually finish part 2 before winter LOL
I personally love these next few chapters because it's pure fanfiction 🤣 I looked at Bioware's decision and elected to ignore it. Fuck it, we ball. We indulge.
Excerpt from chapter:
Through the glassy emerald haze, she could make out the something too big with too many jointed limbs and a too swift scuttle. Lanil shuddered in horror and disgust without moving her gaze away, though it was a struggle. She never cared one way or the other about spiders—Stef couldn’t stand them, so Lanil had always been the one to deal with them when they were children. But looking through the Rift, as her stomach roiled and her skin crawled, the blurred arachnoid silhouette clawed the unfamiliar terror out of her guts.
Then, there was motion—desperate and quick—much closer and coming closer. Solas’ hand was on her elbow, pulling her back, even as her staff lit with threads of electricity. Varric was on his feet on her other side, Bianca pointed at the indistinct figures rushing towards them, and Fenris’ axe shone with the bright white of his lyrium tattoos. Then, Lanil shook Solas’ hand off and leapt forward, dropping her staff to the ground with a clatter.
With a bright, blinding, burst of light, Dorian jumped through, inelegant for once, with arms flailing and landing so awkwardly he would’ve fallen if Lanil hadn’t grabbed him.
“Dorian!” Lanil gasped, her hands holding on so tightly her fingertips were digging white crescents into the dark skin of his biceps.
Dorian stared at her, eyes wild and too much white, and then he all but dragged her in to a bone-crunching hug. She stiffened in shock for a moment, feeling how his whole body trembled like an exhausted, hunted animal having found its warren, and clasped him back just as hard.
“Thank Andraste, we made it out,” Dorian breathed out the words.
Another flash, and Cole was suddenly standing there beside them.
“They’re coming. Quickly,” Cole murmured, already slinking back and keeping his head turned towards the Rift. Lanil pulled Dorian away in time for another brilliant flash and Blackwall jumped through, nearly as flail-some as Dorian had been, but keeping to his feet and turning with his blade unsheathed, chest heaving in harsh pants.
“Ware, Wardens, it’s coming behind the Inquisitor,” he shouted.
Blades and maces were pulled free, shields were raised. The only three mages left in the courtyard (nearly every other mage was a prisoner or guarding prisoners) lifted hand or staff brimming with mana.
And then there was a pause.
“Blackwall, where is the Inquisitor?” Solas asked as ice coated the staff in his grip and steamed in the slowly warming air.
“Where’s Hawke?” Varric demanded hoarsely nearly as soon as the words left Solas’ mouth.
“Right behind us, they were right behind us!” Dorian exclaimed, ashen and expression pinched.
“It’s in the way. They have to choose,” Cole said, shrinking in on himself. “The bird won’t fly.”
“The bird? What bird? Cole, what’s going on in there? Is it Birdie?” Varric snapped. Usually he treated Cole so gently, like a innocent kid, belying the expert way Cole wielded his daggers. But not now.
Cole only shook his head and backed farther, gazes sliding off of him like water sliding off oil. “She won’t fly without him, so she broke his wings,” he whispered, words whisking away like an afterthought.
“I warn you, I don’t have patience for cryptic demon bullshit,” Fenris growled. Before he could press Cole further, however, everyone’s attention turned back to the sparking and flaring Rift.
Some ya’ll who are younger need to google Frank Serpico and read about his time in the NYPD and what the cops did to him and attempted to do to him up until the late 90′s. He literally had to go into hiding in Italy and Switzerland and multiple times people tried to kill him. He only came back to America after the mafia (who hated the NYPD a lot, obviously) said “you’re under our protection.”
👆Really really good article by the way. Feels like a good piece to show to folks you know who are still on the fence about things like police or prison abolition. Plus the pseudonym the author uses is hysterical, and he's really quite a good writer.
extremely good article, please read it. at the very least read the "how to be a bastard" section, it outlines a lot of the ways cops will try to trick you
hey you should ask your doctor about MAOIs. my SSRIs weren’t working so we tried those (i’m on nardil) and it did wonders for my mental health. just saying as a suggestion because based on the fact that you put the fucking onceler on my dashboard in 2022 the meds you take right now don’t work
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