Books and Laughter

NorCal Native • San Francisco Born and Raised • Lover of Art, Books, and Photography • Jokes and Life

[spanishrose1234]

Credit: Instagram @retrovontagia

[catsoverloaded]

A black dragón floating above the clouds

[themediocrehuman]

So others need not squint to read “On March 11, 889 CE, 17 year-old Emperor Uda wrote:  ‘On the 6th day of the 2nd Month of the First Year of the Kampo era. Taking a moment of my free time, I wish to express my joy of the cat. It arrived by boat as a gift to the late Emperor, received from the hands of Minamoto no Kuwasahi.  The color of its fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink. It has an air about it, similar to Kanno. Its length is 5 sun, and its height is 6 sun. I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long. In rebellion, it narrows its eyes and extends its needles. It shows its back. When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. you cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were a circular Bi disk. When it stands, its cry expresses profound loneliness, like a black dragon floating above the clouds. By nature, it stalks birds. It lowers its head and works its tail. It can extend its spine to raise its height by at least 2 sun. Its color allows it to disappear at night. I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.’”

[hellscabanaboy]

“[list of traits common to many or all cats] I am convinced it is superior to all other cats” is the cat owner’s creed

[fuks]

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

This just hit me. I’m so Southern my family has a matriarch and no one in the family knows for sure how old she is. We all also got into a heated debate about the existence of her glass eye (still not confirmed). She’s in her 90s- we think- beat cancer, outlived two husbands, had seven children and has outlived three of them, survived The Great Depression, and either her dad or her grandfather was a full blooded Cherokee Indian… possibly the tribe’s leader but no one really knows for sure.

She also once lit into my dad’s school bus driver, cussing him black and blue about how he treated the kids and didn’t realize she had a butcher’s knife in her hand until he RAN away. She didn’t have any more trouble out of him.

[whitebeltwriter]

…I wish to know how and why this just occured to you, please

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

I had an eloquent reason but really what it boils down to is I think Mamaw is a cryptid. The running joke in the family is that Mamaw will be at the end of the world with the twinkies and the cockroaches.

I’m not sure it’s a joke anymore, I think it’s a premonition.

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

Two years ago one of my cousins wanted to bring her wife to thanksgiving and Joe was all “ew no way” and Mamaw stood her ass up and said “Who the hell do you think you are, saying who is and isn’t welcome in my house? This ain’t your house- you get out! I say who is welcome and YOU is not welcome. Now SCAT!” while slapping at him and then sat back down and asked my cousin if her wife ate catfish. Joe tried to come back in and she popped the tennis balls off her walker and threw them at him until he left

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

No matter how old Mamaw gets, her hair is still solid black. She still hasn’t gone gray and she’s never once died her hair. Her kids all have heads full of gray hair, and my father- her grandson- is starting to go gray. Mamaw? Nothing. I swear she looks exactly the same as she did when I was a kid.

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

Mamaw got Covid-19. She presented with symptoms and was rushed to the ER with a dangerously high fever and next to no oxygen. The doctors took note of her age (she’s apparently 93 as best she can guess) and her vitals and, well, Mamaw wasn’t gonna make it past Monday.

By Sunday night the fever was gone and she was complaining that the hospital didn’t get WWE and she was gonna “miss my wrasslin shows!”.

She was home and completely fine by Tuesday. By Wednesday she was calling up the anti-maskers in our family just to call them idiots and hang up.

[karmaneko3]

Gods above, your Mamaw would scare Cthulu into submission.

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

Mamaw would probably fish Cthulhu out of the sea and fry him up along with the catfish

[chimericaloutlier]

[megs-mayhem]

@unpretty

[unpretty]

it’s DIRT

[ceekari]

unmute for comically aggrieved farmer

[ygmtwr-atrus]

Eclair!

[shingojira]

[fantasmicallyfunsized]

I did a thing…am I funny yet LOL

[spanishrose1234]

If anyone responded to my fairyloot post, I also have this James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs tapestry from the Fairyloot Chain of Gold Box. It’s the scene of them in the Whispering Room. Message me if you want it

[notvoid]

[milf-adjacent]

Love how she was all carefree then skipped right over angry and went all the way to Dark Souls miniboss

[agoddamnrayofsunshine]

Nightmare image

[spanishrose1234]

Has anyone heard of the book subscription Fairyloot?

Well every month they send a box with exclusively designed books with the author’s signature and add in goodies inspired by popular novels.

I’m at the stage where I have too many items that I’ve never used and would like to be rid of.

Instead of throwing them out I’d like to give them away, and they’re things likes pins, bookmarks, keychains, beanies, etc inspired by series like The Raven Cycle, Throne of Glass, Caraval, Serpent & Dove, The Cruel Prince, etc.

If anyone’s interested just hit me up. Again never been used, worn, still in packaging

[ubercharge]

My girlfriend and I introduced our cats recently ♥️♥️♥️

i’m genuinely going to cry

[thejonymyster]

Ah ok *bursts into tears*

[spanishrose1234]

[spanishrose1234]

[narwhalsarefalling]

MY TA SHOT SOMEONE IN THE FOOT AND THE PROFESSOR WAS SO FUCKING QUICK LMAOOO

[spanishrose1234]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[quantummindclassicalheart]

To clarify, they are bisexual, not lesbians:

https://twitter.com/fancy_foxtrot/status/1205747696813756416

[slumberinggirl-deactivated20210]

Still iconic

[lynati]

WHEN DO WE GET THE COMIC SERIES AND/OR MOVIE?

[dirtydirtychai]

It keeps getting better:

Bonus:

[dajo42]

if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior.  I had a real sword with me, too.  I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion.  Some woman walks by, with her little girl.  The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight.  But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.”  You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?”    And the girl looked around and saw me.  I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood.  So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?”  And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating.  Like she thinks I’m going to say no.  So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her.  And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.”  I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.

[maneth985]

[luxgalador]

This post was good but then it got better

[celticshenanigans]

Okay, this is a slight topic diversion, but in response to the above comment. I’ve volunteered at the CT Ren Faire for years now. For the last 5 or so I’ve worked in the game section, and we have a game similar to the above comment called “Smite the Knight”. I’ve been in the ring before, it’s a ton of fun getting to run around with the kids. The main goal is entertainment. Have a good shtick, keep the crowd engaged, and let the kids have a good time.

In both work and observing, I have learned something about kids. A lot of parents try to get their boys to go fight. Of the young ones that do, they tend to be shy. You get the ones who just swing the boffer swords around with no regard for life, but, mostly, they’re reserved. It’s adorable. I mean, they’re kids.

But the girls. THE GIRLS. Holy crap. I swear, the pinker the dress, the more taffeta and glitter…the more intensity. I remember, the first year I worked there, one girl came in, grabbed the biggest sword she could, and WENT TO TOWN on our knight. Lifted it over head, let out this primal scream and mowed him down. Homeboy is 6′2″, she was FIVE. And once he was in the fetal position (He was fine. It was for show.) on the ground, she stopped, put her foot on his chest, and yelled “I AM A FIERCE PRINCESS!!”. Later in the day when she walked by a couple of us yelled “Ah! It’s the fierce princess!” and she stopped and flexed. It was the best, and I will never forget that girl.

[complete-in-ix-deactivated20230]

OH MY GOD IT’S BACK YES

[the-ironhobbit-deactivated20170]

This has improved since last I reblogged.

[tinierpurplefishes]

I taught karate for like 5 years, and the girls were always, pound for pound, better than the boys. Even the girls who didn’t really want to do it and were only there because their parents made them were better than like 95% of the boys.

[shadesofmauve]

I was playing fiddle at a ren faire, and two little girls were really enjoying our set. After quite some time one of them walked up to me and shyly offered me her star tinsel tiara, because she “didn’t have any money. And this protects you from trolls!” I said “Thanks, that’s really sweet – but what about you? Don’t you need protection from trolls?”

At which point this six-ish-year-old girl whips out her certificate from the axe throwing booth and says “Nah, I’m fine.”

I still have that tinsel tiara. It’s draped over my modem. I figure it’ll protect me from the most trolls that way.

[callmebliss]

I am not in the habit of reblogging a post and slapping an “it got better” on there BUT I SAY GOTDAMN