SparkleMouse

Grade A Butt

[3000s]

YUP

[the-frog-blog]

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[oneheadtoanother]

[targetedknowledge]

[greelin]

they just look like this

[greelin]

too many of you are being far too cruel.

[mammalidentifier]

Brown dorcopsis (Dorcopsis muelleri) and white-striped dorcopsis (Dorcopsis hageni). Dorcopsis are cat-sized marsupials native to Western New Guinea, Papua New Guinea and Indonesia, closely related to kangaroos and wallabies. Their tails are partially hairless and they look remarkably greyhound-like when seen from the side.

[argumate]

I keep thinking this! very frustrating

[argumate]

fuck!

[wanderinghalo27]

Shout out to one of the funniest sports graphics I've ever seen

[fiore-firelily]

huge things happening in politics recently—and don't worry, it's good news this time

[wistfulelfgirl-deactivated20231]

lesbian sex that looks like a big cartoon ball of dust with the occasional leg sticking out and i crawl out of it covered in lipstick kisses and get swiftly dragged back in

[blujaynoodles]

[altrbody]

Fabio Viale, marble sculpture.

[hereforthefunnyguys]

[things-that-are-not-true]

i just bought a toyota speck for $0.003

[dogpuppy]

[samreich]

just throwing this out there

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

an atom is about the size of a pea btw. maybe a little bigger.

[fortzancudo]

i literally feel like im going to be sick trying not to laugh at this at my desk like i feel faint

[plumbo-gummite]

the smuckling smumbler

[homeofhousechickens]

Oh baby fight

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

“oh one time my—” (abruptly stops myself from saying the words “tumblr mutual” in public) “overseas colleague”