splugdor

trash man in trash can

[penandinkprincess]

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

[penandinkprincess]

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

[penandinkprincess]

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

[justasmidgx]

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

[penandinkprincess]

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

[spinglespanglejinglejangle]

"do you how fast you were going sir?"

"not fast enough to catch the fUcKiNg CAT"

[cash4bees]

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

[luulapants]

My elderly father started talking about how frustrating he finds “the pronouns thing” and I was like. Oh no. He had such a good stand on this, he’s been they/them-ing his cishet siblings for god’s sake! Is he regressing?? And he was talking about how difficult it is to remember, and how onerous it feels to expect strangers to keep track of it, and I’m like oh no oh no.

Then he says, “I mean, the problem isn’t the gender thing. The problem is four words: she, her, he, and him. We got rid of stewardess and turned it into flight attendant. It doesn’t matter if the flight attendant is a man or woman, so we got rid of it. We just need to get rid of those. I don’t need to know.”

“You don’t need to know… people’s gender?”

“No. I don’t care, I don’t need to know, and I don’t want to remember it.”

So we can relax. It’s just a continuation of his crusade to they/them the world. He doesn’t want to remember anyone’s gender. He’s abolishing the genders.

[teaboot]

Your dad is so powerful

[vileengine]

i actually did draft a bunch of abortion jokes but ultimately decided not to keep them

[animentality]

[databent]

hi. i really, really need everyone to see this gif of someones frog i just saw on reddit

[mathani]

Any point on torus lies on four circles on torus.

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

scissoring

[nuketowncryptid]

@sjweminem

[nocturnal-stims]

Red kite in flight

🪶 The Drone Guy UK on IG

[the-big-mood]

I didn’t realize there were so many people getting destroyed by mattresses 😂

[theswordofdamntheseknees]

I love these so much.

[genjichu]

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[gloomydude-deactivated20150419]

[son-of-rap-bear]

It doesn’t end there:

[funimationentertainment]

another addition

[cs-inactive1-deactivated2020060]

do you ever just like. feel unbelievably proud of someone you’d never even heard of previously

[eroscestlavie]

oh my god

[biomecharnotaurus]

By the way before I went to buy my stupid little plastic soldiers I went in a hole under the ground again. My legs still hurt from climbing that fuckass rusty ladder holy shit

[queenoliviaiii]

book cover illustration: Tristan Elwell

[depsidase]

[transmechanicus]

ICE agents reveal daily arrest quotas and surveillance app in rare court testimony

Under oath, officers said they were told to make eight arrests a day and given special tech to help choose ‘targets’

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

Evac

Warning for slight description of gore and blood.

-

Your hands are clenched tight to the harness keeping you in your seat as the pelican sways and shudders. There's blood staining the straps and buckles as you stare at the medic performing triage on the goddamn cyborg.

But it's not a cyborg, there's blood and bits that need to stay inside and the white of bone showing. The last guy you saw that much of didn't get up again and you swallow down another round of bile because the goddamn cyborg isn't a cyborg, it's a person. They're a person.

Even worse was when the helmet came off and the person turned out to be a fucking kid. Round cheeks with some fat on them still, no sign of stubble or lines or anything beyond bags under the eyes and a bit of acne.

Acne.

The cyborg that's not a cyborg but a fucking kid who has acne and saved your sorry ass and your whole platoon after you acted like a rabid dog towards it. Them.

This kid is going to die because of you. This kid with a fucking suit of armor and a number. Not even a name.

You swallow hard as the bird hits turbulence.

The other cyborgs are sitting silently. Not a muscle twitching and you can't bear to look at them.

But you have to ask, you gotta know who to pray for or beg forgiveness from before the night is over.

You ask them if 117 has a name.

Three helmets lock onto your face and you feel the smallest you've ever felt.

His name is John.

Don't worry, he's had worse.

That line takes the air out of your lungs and you grip the seat harness tighter. You don't speak for the rest of the flight.

[undying-princess]

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

[bumblebeebats]

Yesterday at work these two 12yo boys came through my line and i’m instantly like. oh Boy. Because solo children at a grocery store are always forces of chaos, good or bad

But thankfully these ones were totally pleasant, and when i asked if they wanted a receipt one of them pulled out a random fuckin receipt from his bag and asked “Do YOU???” and y’all, i lost my shit… What a power move. When will i ever be this funny

[sergal]

hello this is your google account. did you know that you are trying to log in. to. your google account. would you like five emails about how you logged in to your google account.