A Collection of Trash

[mydearthisbe]

The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.” 

[twelvemonkeyswere]

no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies

[thesanityclause]

Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book

[septimusprime]

Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.

[dreadpiratemary-deactivated2018]

Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.

[zero0000]

“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”

[animatedamerican]

it got better

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like

You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them

And there is literally no common sense

Anywhere to be found

Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve 

[kat8porgs]

Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up

The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.

But, but, but, you know the one person

the one person

who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?

Severus Snape.

Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.

‘Severus, he is my cousin.’

And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it

That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’

and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’

and just

Spare. Snape goes spare.

[laurathia]

Picturing Snape as Mr. Crocker from the Fairly Oddparents now.

[mariana-oconnor]

Gerald White eventually becomes a fully registered animagus. When he turns into his animagus form right in front of Snape, Snape’s bursting at the seams, just pointing at him and spluttering:

‘HE’S A BIG BLACK DOG! A DOG - THAT IS BLACK. SIRIUS BLACK. BLACK DOG DOG BLACK.’

And Remus calmly says: “That’s absurd, Severus. Sirius Black was never an animagus and besides which, people’s names don’t have any influence over their animagus forms or anything like that. That’s ridiculous.”

And Snape yells: “Shut it WEREWOLF MCWEREWOLF!”

Everyone looks at Remus, who blinks and sighs as Gerald White turns back into his human form.

“Pure coincidence,” Gerald says. “My aunt was into Roman mythology. Has to happen sometimes.” Then he pauses to give Snape an overly concerned look. “Are you alright, Severus? You’re looking a little red.”

[prince-aziraphale]

Okay but to expound on my deaf!Harry post…

- Dumbledore contacts Lupin before Harry attends Hogwarts and has him learn sign language and hires him as an interpreter for Harry during classes

- Snape: “are you listening to me potter?”

Harry, speaking to the best of his ability: “to be fair I can’t listen to anyone, however I was, in fact, paying attention”

-Hermione tirelessly helping Harry with speech and pronunciation so he can get spells right

-Ron aggressively trying to learn sign language to communicate with Harry and he’s so embarrassed he can’t get the hang of it at first but Harry thinks it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him because what are friends??

-Draco, mouthing: “I hate you”

Harry, misreading hate as date: “If you wanted a date you should have said something sooner.”

-Harry signing rude things at Umbridge.

Umbridge: “What did he say!?”

Lupin: “he said you’re charming.”

-The entire Weasley family learning basic sign language for whenever Harry is with them, making him feel more at home since the Dursley’s never made a decent effort with it.

- McGonagall aware of Harry’s condition from observation at the Dursley’s prepared and learned sign language and signs when she can during her class, allowing Lupin the occasional break.

McGonagall: “You’re not sneaky Mr. Weasley; I very well know what you just signed.”

- Voldemort monologuing in sign language

Harry: “I’m sorry I don’t understand, I’m blind.”

Voldemort: “??????”

[vodkassassin]

God Voldemort learning sign language just so he can monologue to his nemesis is honestly something he’s actually Edgy and Ridiculous enough to do

[argyle-s]

Harry Potter and How the Scene Should Have Gone

[hotboyproblems]

Umbridge: Mr. Potter, do you expect to be attacked in my class?

Harry: Yes.

Umbridge: What?

Harry: Well, I mean, I’m running four for four.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: Quirrel tried to choke me out.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: And Lockhart tried to wipe my memory.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: Of course, Professor Lupin didn’t mean it. He just forgot his potion, but still, totally went werewolf on me.

Umbridge: MR. POTTER-

Harry: And then Moody turned out to be an escaped Death Eater in disguise.

Umbridge: POTTER!

Harry: So, yeah, I figure it’s 100% you’ll attack me in June, 50/50 you’ll try to kill me, with a 25% chance of an Unforgivable curse.

Harry: (Turns to Hermione)

Harry: Did I get the math right?

Hermione: Yes.

[dutchster]

Party Rock Anthem has the same BPM as Uptown Girl (x)

[valtsv]

the fact that lights don’t start flickering ominously and short-circuiting whenever i’m upset is maximally unsexy and not at all excellent if you ask me

[skeleslime-phantom]

Popular Opinion

Mint Ice Cream and other mint flavored foods taste GREAT and y'all can’t change my mind

[sushinfood]

op do you accept constructive criticism

[skeleslime-phantom]

choose your next words carefully, dear sushi

[sushinfood]

m i n t    s u c k 

[skeleslime-phantom]

YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE DISRESPECT MY MINTS

[sorryimjessi-blog]

Dear friends of Tumblr,

Today at my school we had an assembly about internet predators and when I had said that most of my true friends are over the internet and they gave me a lecture about how “I don’t know who I’m talking to” blah blah. So please, if you aren’t a predator in any way, please reblog so i can prove a point.

[mortally-challenged]

[hotgarbagecentral]

If you don’t reblog this, then I am honestly very concerned.

[5sosphanandshortbread-deactivat]

everytime i see this im gonna reblog it and weed out my pedo followers

[dreamstormdragon]

I’ll reblog it.

[anotherknifeinmyhands]

[little-ditto]

Not a sexual predator. I am infact

And don’t want sex with

ANYBODY!

[smooththegoofyshark]

I ain’t a pedo/map/nomap or whatever they call themselves and they all deserve to burn in my opinion

[1purplepanda]

[finnofamerica]

I dont like people

[carolinesbookworld]

[ghostbustinggays]

ONE OF OUR INSTRUCTORS ACCIDENTALLY GOT PAID $787,000 THIS MONTH IM WHEEZING, OMFG PAYROLL

[ghostbustinggays]

A PAYROLL EMPLOYEE ENTERED 123 INSTEAD OF 1 SO HE GOT PAID 123 TIMES WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO

[ghostbustinggays]

this is the rare $786,708 payday. reblog to receive more money than you were expecting on your next paycheck 💫

[dungeons-and-danis]

Accents 101

So if you’re a dm like me, you probably want to be relatively skilled in some typical fantasy accents for your game to make things feel that much more real. So i’ve decided to throw together a little master post of “how to” videos on some various accents. This is mostly for my own reference, but if you’d like to save this for yourself too, go right ahead. Feel free to add on to this, as well!

General Accent Tips

How To Learn Any Accent (1)

How To Learn Any Accent (2)

How To Do 12 Different Accents

US/UK/Aussie English Vocabulary Differences

One Woman, 17 British Accents

How To Lose Your Native Accent

How To Learn A Different Accent

Fun Tour of American Accents

Scottish

Scottish In Under 2 Minutes

How to Speak With A Scottish Accent

HOW TO DO A SCOTTISH ACCENT

Speaking Scottish 101

Scottish Slang

Gerard Butler Teaches You Scottish Slang

Scottish Insults

English or “British”

How To Do A British Accent

3 Ways to Sound More British

HOW TO DO A BRITISH ACCENT CONVINCINGLY (1)

HOW TO DO A BRITISH ACCENT CONVINCINGLY (2)

HOW TO DO A BRITISH ACCENT CONVINCINGLY (3)

Henry Cavill and Simon Pegg Teach You English Slang 

French

How To Speak With A French Accent 

How To Do A French Accent In UNDER TWO MINUTES

Tips on how to do a French Accent

French Accent Tip

Irish

How to do an Irish Accent

How To Do An Irish Accent

How To Do An Irish Accent

Guide to Irish Accents

How To Do An Irish Accent In UNDER TWO MINUTES

Russian

How To Speak With A Russian Accent 

How to Do a Russian Accent | Accent Training

How to speak with a Russian Accent

How Russians Speak English

How To Do A Russian Accent 

German

How To Have A German Accent 

How to do a GERMAN ACCENT?

Get the Perfect German ACCENT

Me speaking in 12 GERMAN DIALECTS!

How To Do A German Accent

5 Steps to a perfect German Accent

Canadian

How To Do A Canadian Accent

All aboot Canadian accents

How To Speak Canadian, Without Knowing How!!

Is There A Canadian Accent?

The Canadian English Accent

[dmwisdom]

I don’t usually do reblogs but this may come in handy for some of you.

Disclaimer: using accents is NEVER required, but it can add a bit of fun! Don’t feel pressured to adopt one if you aren’t comfy with it!

[dankmemeuniversity]

[marshmallowessence]

@a-cupcake7

[all-alone-in-the-moonlight]

@spngeronimo

[spngeronimo-blog]

😂😂

[hogwartsaheadcanon]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again since no-one has yet given me a valid reason as to why James Potter, lacking a wand, didn’t just transform into Prongs when Voldy turned up and like… fucking spear him. Why didn’t he do that? Like I don’t care how astonishingly powerful a dark wizard he was, no-one could ever be prepared for walking into a house and there’s just… a massive fuck off stag staring you down? How could you possibly react to that? 

You couldn’t, giving said stag the opportunity to put an antler through his eye and save the day. Not to mention, can you imagine the Prophet headlines if that was how it’d gone down?

[aifsaath]

“Local Fauna Disagrees with the Dark Lord!” “Voldemort ReVealed!” “Furry Defeats Dark Wizard!”

[hogwartsaheadcanon]

Oh my god revealed

This was the kind of response I was angling for with this post thank you

[uwiguwi]

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

[uwiguwi]

it happened today, damn that was like 3 days maybe?

It Works the money is on its way!

[goodluckrob-deactivated20221110]

Need this.

[mindyourbusinessitsfree]

Of course

[sauvamente]

It worked tho

[ourblackisgold-deactivated20191]

I just won $500 off a scratch Ticket lottery.

[sauvamente]

ENERGY

[deux-pour-chagrin-blog]

OKAY LEGIT I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY. ME AND MY PARTNER ARE IN SUCH A TIGHT SPOT FOR MONEY ATM AS WE ARE SAVING FOR A DEPOSIT ON A HOUSE. I GOT PAID DOUBLE WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET AND SO DID HE AND HONESTLY I CRIED SO MUCH TODAY IM SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED

[lilybeth666-blog]

Positive vibes!!!!!

[realtrashwitch]

[analeahlove3]

I need this 🙌🏾

[siketae]

I’m not taking a chance sis

[irrationalperfection]

I have midterms next week soooo bless me sky kitten

[mikkeneko]

character concept: the best trick archer in the world, the trick to which is that he’s actually not an archer at all, he’s a speedster and he can’t aim for shit, every time he takes a shot he actually just grabs the arrow, runs over to what he wants to stick, then runs back before anyone can see him move

[mikkeneko]

he’s on a team with Heat Vision Man, who actually has no heat vision and is another speedster, he just glares at people then runs over and punches them and is back before they can see him move

[mikkeneko]

(the entire team is actually just composed of speedsters who all use their speed in different ways, and they all pretend otherwise in front of their teammates)

[dongoverlord]

sometimes I get so jealous of other people’s social skills. like damn. they can talk to people?? and people like them?? look at all those people who like them. wtf. illegal

[shaylogic]

One of my first thoughts when I woke up this morning was that–out of EVERYONE in the MCU–James Buchanan Barnes has had the weirdest freaking perspective on the change the world went through in all the movies.

Like he starts out as just a normal human dude–guy in the 40s joining the war effort, like most other young adult men at the time would have.

Then his scrawny pal gets super tall and buff but he could maybe chalk that up to Steroids or something. He, himself got captured and experimented on, which is awful, but not a thing unheard of at the time.

Then he’s “KIA” and doesn’t know anything. For a bit.

Then almost a century goes by that he probably only remembers like snippets of nightmare after nightmare, dissociated from the experiences but unable to fully reject or accept them. Who is he anymore? What has the world become? Is this Purgatory? Is this Hell? He doesn’t have much time or lucid consciousness to consciously take in the newer world around him.

Then, when he finally breaks free, he has to go on the run and piece it all together on his own. This future world, the new technology, how history remembers him and his friends, all these crazy and colorful superheroes. Aliens, magic, themed villains.

And it’s all A Lot but he’s doing his best to get by. But after all the hurt he’s caused others, and all the craziness of the Civil War being over him, when he doesn’t even have a good sense of identity anymore as it is, it’s too much. He needs to have time to process and heal, and deprogram.

Then it’s assumed he’s been woken periodically for Shuri to help deprogram him and for the Wakandans to kindly take him in and help him readjust. But he’s in a totally foreign country, a secret country that’s been hidden forever and that he could never have imagined! He’s in a very different time, place, and mindset now. He looks different, he feels different, he’s missing an arm. This isn’t what he signed up for in the 40s. This isn’t how he thought his life would go.

But at least his ridiculous friend is still here with him, despite everything. Just like he said, with him until the end of the line.

And then aliens attack and magic is flying everywhere and the army of a secret society is leading the assault and and and and

there’s a fucking norse god, a humanoid tree, and a talking raccoon

and the raccoon is fighting with him

and at this point, Bucky just fucking accepts it

TLDR: Bucky Barnes is the epitome of the Mood™:

[magdellain]

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY FANDOMS STARTING NOW, LIKE THE SINK FANDOM AND THE TREEHOUSE FANDOM AND THE BLANKET FORT FANDOM, BUT YOU ARE ALL MISSING ONE. 

SECRET 

FREAKIN’

ROOMS

LIKE

PEOPLE

BUILD ROOMS

WITHIN ROOMS

BUT THEY AREN’T LIMITED TO INSIDE THE HOME

THAT’S RIGHT

THERE ARE SECRET ROOMS FOR CARS

HONESTLY THOUGH

YOU EITHER LIKE SECRET ROOMS

OR YOU’RE WRONG

[kitty-mccat-deactivated20220312]

I have always wanted a house with secret rooms. 

[ladyprincepyro-blog]

My goal in life is to become an eccentric recluse with an entire manor filled with secret rooms young intrepid junior-detectives will want to explore to look for clues. I will then proceed to spook them periodically while wearing a bedsheet with holes cut out, and stare at them creepily from behind paintings.

[moss-woods-deactivated20240813]

YES