Why are you following me lol

22

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[byjove]

when you think about it, unleashing a plague of frogs is fucking hilarious

[byjove]

God said “let’s do a silly one”

[hungwy]

We genuinely need to kill and eat anyone who likes music

[sashimi55]

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

[dambiex]

[ispyspookymansion]

theyve discovered a planet where you can have a disappointing jerk off session and doom scroll on your phone until you get a headache every day. And theyre calling it. earth <3

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

mozzarella from real life is trans!

[medikawa]

No one is trans please stop

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

you're trans

[cute-catts]

[shiftythrifting]

you, uh, want some bathtub grappa?

[aflo]

not unless it's Uncle Scary's.

[cieledheart]

[jurassicpeanut]

No bond stronger than a disabled girl and her disabled cat

[mellifexfarm]

behold my ugly

[weepycat]

my brother sent me this photo of his cat and i’m gonna lose my mind. he looks like a kingdom hearts character 

[weepycat]

i swear to god. every time he sends me a text about this fucking cat, i feel like i’m gonna die

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[sludgebitch]

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

[catchymemes]

[cognitohazardous]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

[karda]

if this doesnt come true this year i may lose my mind