I Choose You

I shouldn't qualify as an adult.

[slimetony]

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits of of mountainsides. They crave that mineral.

[sailor--spoon]

Why is this back on my dash in 2018

[blossomq]

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT ON CONSENT FROM END OF THE F***ING WORLD

[we-kant-even]

*reading the iliad*

Fuck this happened in Percy Jackson

[canadad-deactivated20171111]

whats it like getting 8 hours of sleep every night

[canadad-deactivated20171111]

vulpx this reply needs its own hall of fame imo

[justbant3r]

when the custodian just mopped and u trying to be respectful 

[greyscalesound]

Honestly if you don’t do this extra pointless ass tiptoe when this happens you’re trash who raised you

[hiswife87-deactivated20190117]

True

[helpmejordan]

Can we just take a moment to remember the greatest book in the history of our childhoods…

[iantojack]

im losing it

[queereyefabfive]

Okay but they’re right

[catboymuqing-moving]

bill and ted but with 2010s slang would be fucking lethal

[catboymuqing-moving]

this is most un-woke ted my dude

[vedajuno]

*both in unison* oh, biggest mood

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

This post was so powerful it brought everyone from the original movie back together for a sequel

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I bite my ice cream

that’s a circle of hell no one should descend to

[dragon-in-a-fez]

ice cream is food and should be bitten

[moonibinbon]

ExCUSE ME it is a SOLID LIQUID and should be consumed as a combination of drinking and biting known as licking. Thank you very much.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

discuss

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what madness have you brought down on us

[pandora15]

Wait what if you slurp your ice cream?

[cordezshenanigans]

I use my lips to eat ice cream. It’s like the motion of the “QUE-” in the word ‘QUESTIONS’ in ‘Why You Asking All Them Questions’, but in reverse. It’s like using my lips as a pair of little outside-tongues.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

[rnelodyy]

one of my friends once deep-throated her ice cream cone

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

please never say that again

[cozyhalfling]

Reblog for ice cream discourse

[lord-kitschener]

Putting potato chips on a sandwich with the other ingredients so you get a cronch is absolute the only righteous way to live

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

hey what the fuck

[lord-kitschener]

Stop being afraid to live deliciously

[dykespeare-deactivated20181228]

reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful

[kyloreybans-deactivated20160107]

I scrolled passed then I felt guilty

[taluluto-deactivated20190219]

i hate when i go up north and go to restaurants and the waiter comes to take my order and im like “do yall have sweet tea??” and theyre like “no sweetheart but we have unsweetened iced tea and we can give you some sugar packets!!!” llike no you fucking yankee because now the tea is already cold so the sugar wont dissolve in it and itll all just sink the bottom and be nasty learn basic fucking solubility this is 9th grade chemistry thats why sweet tea exists in the first place you fucking heat the tea up to make it and then while its still hot you add the sugar and then you chill it and its sweet fucking tea i bet you pronounce pecan like peecan too you four seasons-having piece of shit

[viciere]

i hate when i go down south and im scared to hold my girlfriends hand in public

[sireneas]

[powerburial]

getting random sharp pain in your organs is a lot like when your check engine light comes on in your car. you dont know what it means so you just ignore it and hope you dont blow up

[bob-belcher]

[latinxa-deactivated20180331]

[exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear]

[yugirimistwalker]

Mickey is short for Micholas