The End

❋NSFW ❋ No more translations. All deleted. ❋ This account will no longer be active ❋

[nihononthego]

まさみおばあちゃんのおせち

Grandma Masami’s New Year’s Food.

[snowthunder]

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: In Howl’s Moving Castle Sophie goes back in time and witnesses Howl making his original deal with Calcifer thus discovering the way to break Howl’s curse and before she leaves she tells Howl to find her in the future and if you recall to the beginning of the movie Howl saves Sophie from some highly questionable and rapey soldiers and tells her “there you are sweetheart, sorry I’m late, I’ve been looking everywhere for you” because he took what she told him as a child to heart and has been looking for her ever since and if that’s not the tightest shit ever I don’t know what is

[saltwaterlullaby]

NOT ONLY THAT

When Howl finally finds Sophie and saves her from the soldiers if you look carefully you can see one of his rings glowing JUST LIKE the one he gives her later on when he tells her to “summon calcifer WITH [HER] HEART” 

HE WAS NOT ONLY LOOKING FOR HER SHE WAS IN HIS HEART FROM THE BEGINNING 

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[lesbianshepard]

what did these penguins do to the scientists to deserve this

[lesbianshepard]

researcher: okay so we’re calling these “african penguins” because it lives in africa

penguin: bites researcher

researcher: hey fucker guess what new idea

[xan-the-13th]

KITAKORE kills me yet again 

[kereeachan]

So I was reading @why-animals-do-the-thing ‘s utterly fabulous article on Why Vegan Diets Will kill You Cat (And Sicken You Dog) at 1am, as one does, and hit upon a pretty good argument against how many people anthropomorphize animals and why it is dangerous.

Anthropomorphization is people assigning human traits to nonhuman beings. This is dangerous because is can lead to fundamental misunderstandings of how those animals function which can then lead to improperly caring for them while actually thinking you’re doing a good thing, like, say, an over-zealous vegan who tries to put their cat (an obligate carnivore) on a vegan diet.  But the cat is not a human with a human digestive tract capable of supporting veganism (hell, there are many humans whose digestive tracts cannot support veganism for varying reasons). The cat is a cat with a carnivorous digestive system that cannot handle a vegan diet. Ditto for dogs, even if they’re omnivores. Omnivore does not mean “can be a vegan if you only feed it plants”, despite what some people think. Again, the article goes into this.

Worse, anthropomorphization can also lead to people not actually knowing that the reactions their animal is displaying to, say, a vegan diet or some new stimulus. Animals do not express emotions in the same way humans do.

Let’s take crying. I have mentioned to a few people over the last few days a crying incident my dog had while I was not home–because I was not home, he is used to only living with me and was confused and distressed that my parents were home and I was not, we are still working on this as it is a new situation. But when I say he “cried” I do not mean he wept or blubbered as a human would. In fact my dog is baffled by human tears and thinks licking them (which is profoundly uncomfortable) is the solution to their existence, while being far more accommodating to almost all other human signs of distress other than tears. His “crying” was to sit at the door, refuse play, food, or treat, and make distressed noises. My father tried to comfort him, but as the reason for the discomfort was partially my father’s presence (”why are there humans in the house when My Human is not in the house, this is not something I am used to, I am unused to it and therefore upset” essentially) it did not work for a little while. Still, my parents recognized the source of the crying and acted accordingly, and eventually he calmed down and joined dad on the couch (albeit dad noted he was still clearly stressed, just less so). They also recognized his getting upset and urinating was due to being in distress (again, he is not used to being home with other humans but not me yet) and was not him being a Bad Dog. It’s just that he hasn’t even been here a month at their house and is still adjusting when things go off his usual routines such as “no humans in the house unless My Human is.”

A lot of people seem to think that an animal is “crying” when it looks as if tears are coming from its eyes. That is not how many animals’ eyes function. Again, let’s take my family’s dogs, this time two cocker spaniels (both now passed). In some dogs, there are issues with their tear ducts–the eye socket is too shallow based on breed face shape, there are airborne irritants, or more serious issues. The first cocker spaniel, who was older than me, had constant tear tracts due to the stellar combo of all the crap in north Florida air, shallow eye sockets, and light fur making them more visible. He looked like he was constantly weeping, especially in heavy pollen season, but he was not weeping and was  a perfectly happy dog.The second cocker was in almost the same conditions, but had lesser tear tracts due to differing head shape giving her deeper eye sockets and her nose shape being less conducive towards gunk buildup sliding down her face quickly. Neither of the “tear tracks” meant anything other than that we as owners needed to clean around their eyes and make sure we were minimizing irritants. Excessive “tears” in dogs are not an indication of sadness but either of just flushing out irritants or a medical issue. If it seems severe, go to a vet. Otherwise, remember that animals have their own systems of showing distress and that you need to learn how your animal is likely to show upset, not assume that because a behavior seems like a human behavior it is the same as that human behavior with all that goes behind that human behavior.

Mistaking animal behaviors can lead to problems. There’s of course the common “my dog is smiling!” when in reality the dog is showing its teeth as a sign of distress. But, moving back to the vegan issue, there’s things like “my dog ate it so they must like it or think it’s okay for them!” Dogs will eat anything. My current dog will eat the fluff from inside stuffed animals or wads of hair pulled out of hair brushes and put in the garbage. One of the cocker spaniels loved shrimp, which turned out to be an issue as he ended up being allergic to it later in life. Dogs do not know what an acceptable diet is for them and will eat almost anything. It is what they do. Dogs also cannot be vegan because veganism is not just a diet but a series of lifestyle choices and dogs cannot actually make the choices inherent to veganism–they are dogs. They are not eating something because they have any moral feelings about it, they are eating it because they are hungry and it is there. While people say “oh, you can feed your dog a vegan diet with vet assistance!” I’m sorry, but having to have a vet constantly monitor your animal and give you supplements to prevent your chosen diet from killing your animal is honestly not much better–sure the vet can make sure you don’t do them serious harm but the fact that you admit what you are doing is so iffy that you need a vet to keep a constant eye on things should be a huge warning sign.

And this is an area where I blame the media. For example, in the wangst-laden film Seven Pounds, the “too good for this earth” love interest has a massive Great Dane that she claims is a vegan (which I’m 90% certain was done to make the love interest seem like a good person to the viewer). In one moment of the film the dog happily gobbles up some meat  from the protagonist (which upsets the love interest) and its diet is mentioned–it’s so bad, just steamed broccoli and tofu. No wonder that poor thing wants more protein, she’s killing it! And of course any number of animated movies. I don’t mind pets being anthropomorphized to star in the story, but maybe don’t have their humans do things that are completely bad animal care (unless that’s the point of the story). Even otherwise good movies fall into this trap a lot just for the sake of showing an animal, say, enjoying hot chocolate or ice cream (I like Oliver and Company, but Oliver should have been dead or at least very sick with what Jenny was letting him gobble up). And this has just never been a thing I’ve understood, even as a kid. Probably the “best” example from kids movies is Lilo and Stich were a) Stitch survives being given coffee because he is not a dog but an alien, b) there are still negative repercussions to giving him coffee and c) all of Lilo’s poor animal care is tacitly acknowledged by the story to be misguided as she is five and Nani is too busy to help her. And even then it’s pretty iffy.

I just do not get why so many shows and movies seem resistant to feeding pets pet food. Hell, not even to feeding pets pet food, but often by showing animals as disliking pet food and wanting something else, usually something humans desire but pets shouldn’t have like cake, ice cream, or hot chocolate (with no repercussions, of course). It baffles me. And then that causes people who don’t put too much thought into animal care to assume diets are wider than they are or that there’s no (or just very little) difference between feeding a pet and feeding a human. Or worse, to convince people that typical pet food is not going to be something their pet desires enough to eat and so start looking at ways to spice it up or feed them something else. Protip: if your dog or cat  is not eating normal, healthy pet food, as in refusing to eat it or not eating enough to sustain themselves despite it being provided, go to a vet and ask them what to do. Not eating is normally a sign of a problem. It is a sign something is wrong not “oh, he’s being picky”. Go to a vet.

While animal and pet care has definitely improved over my lifetime in many ways, there are still a lot of people who are hugely uneducated in how to keep their pets properly and I think anthropomorphization plays a role in that. While you still certainly have your assholes who treat pets just as property instead of living creatures with needs, you also now have well-meaning owners who have gone so far in the other direction–seeing their pets as practically human–that they’re ignoring the needs the animals have as animals and treating them and their behaviors as if they were humans. Animals are not “practically human” with human behaviors and people pushing that as the way to get people to empathize with animals can often be the wrong tactic as it can lead to misinterpretation of animal behaviors due to anthropomorphization making people think the behavior must be related to the nearest human analogue. And the well-meaning can be as much trouble as the assholes since they might (and often do) react very badly to the very suggestion that their behavior is harming their animal because they love their animal and would never intend to harm it. But lack of intent does not mean lack of harm. So there needs to be a lot more education so that the well-meaning learn that it’s not an attack on them and that we’re not saying they don’t love their pets, just that their pets need a better standard of care and need to be treated as the animals they are, not as the animal-shaped humans they are not.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

My favorite line from this whole piece: “Lack of intent [to harm] does not mean lack of harm.” It’s a hard lesson to learn, that you can hurt creatures you love to dearly just by trying to empathize with them - but it’s why anthropomorphism is so dangerous.

[therandominmyhead]

A wild MACHAMP appeared!

Go! DUGTRIO!

[rifa]

I tried to scroll past this but its too damn clever

[kamemushi325]

「おはよう」

[clearui]

戦刻ナイトブラッド / Sengoku Night Blood [Armies - Relationship Charts]

*DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE!!*

Oda Army

Chart:

Oda Nobunaga >Serve me for his whole life> Akechi Mitsuhide

Oda Nobunaga >Easy to talk to> Niwa Nagahide

Akechi Mitsuhide >Mercy/Loyalty> Oda Nobunaga

Mori Ranmaru >Admiration, Like!> Oda Nobunaga

Mori Ranmaru >Complicated feelings> Akechi Mitsuhide

Shibata Katsuie >Will always serve!> Oda Nobunaga

Shibata Katsuie <Frequently misunderstanding each other> Niwa Nagahide

The gathering of warriors selected by the absolute dictator, Oda Nobunaga. Most armies would be aiming for the world unification, but Oda Army wants more beyond that. Aiming further ahead…… There lies the outstanding future where only Nobunaga has foreseen. With Nobunaga and his troops’ strenght, they will cut open the path of their future with their own hands.

Character info > [Click Here]

  Toyotomi Army

Chart:

Toyotomi Hideyoshi >He’s clumsy but reliable> Ishida Mitsunari

Toyotomi Hideyoshi >Don’t understand what he’s thinking, but he’s reliable> Kuroda Kanbee

Toyotomi Hideyoshi <Go* friends> Takenaka Hanbee

Toyotomi Hideyoshi <Known for a long time> Maeda Toshiie

Ishida Mitsunari >Afraid> Kuroda Kanbee

Ishida Mitsunari <Hate, because can’t understand> Maeda Toshiie

Kuroda Kanbee <Gets along> Takenaka Hanbee

An army led by the sneaky guy who likes playing fool, Toyotomi Hideyoshi. Once a vassal of the great the demon king, Oda Nobunaga, fighting for unification. However, due to a certain incident, he separated himself from Oda army. Not sure what he should do, he aims for the world unification with his own power.

Character info > [Click Here]

  Chart:

Uesugi Kenshin >I would prefer you to fix your carelessness> Kakizaki Kageie

Uesugi Kenshin >I can leave my back to him> Amakasu Kagemochi

Uesugi Kenshin >Need to be raised strictly> Uesugi Kagekatsu

Uesugi Kenshin >Approval> Naoe Kanetsugu

Kakizaki Kageie >I’ll protect!> Uesugi Kenshin

Amakasu Kagemochi >Repaying debt> Uesugi Kenshin

Uesugi Kagekatsu >Source of my complex> Uesugi Kenshin

Naoe Kanetsugu >I’m approved!> Uesugi Kenshin

Naoe Kanetsugu >Caretaker> Uesugi Kagekatsu

Pursuing the righteous part, the unwavering heart of justice, Uesugi Kenshin. Who gather under him are those who believe in Kenshin’s belief, as a warrior who has decide to abandon greed and to obtain justice through his sword. While the other army are fighting for the world unification, they will only draw they blades for those who need help.

Character info > [Click Here]

  Takeda Army

Chart:

Takeda Shingen >Mature, mutual relationship> All vassals

Yamagata Masakage >Women are always fussing about him> Kousaka Masanobu

Yamagata Masakage <Sparring partner> Baba Nobuharu

Kousaka Masanobu <Gets along> Naitou Masatoyo

Baba Nobuharu >Too modest> Naitou Masatoyo

The accomplished man of both martial arts and literature, Takeda Shingen. Under him, there gather a lot of men, also warriors. He loves war more than any other army and is aiming to unify the people. Shingen treasures bonds strongly, and it’s also feared by other armies. However, Shingen seems to have a “secret”…… He will push the world into an undetermined result.

Character info > [Click Here]

  Sanada Army

Chart:

Sanada Yukimura <Brothers> Sanada Nobuyuki

Sanada Nobuyuki >Don’t make trouble for Yukimura?> All vassals (Idiot Trio)

Idiot Trio: Sarutobi Sasuke, Kirigakure Saizou, and Yuri Kamanosuke

All vassals (Idiot Trio) >We love Yukimura!> Sanada Yukimura

Sarutobi Sasuke <Eternal Rivals> Kirigakure Saizou

Not as large as Oda Army or Toyotomi Army, but Sanada Army is full of laughter everyday. In the outskirt, the warlord, Sanada Yukimura lives there as the center along with his warriors. Getting involved in the war, they have to draw their blades in a lot of places. Even though, they are smaller compared to other armies, they will protect everyone and friends in their territory. With bonds that no one can break, they cannot lose.

Character info > [Click Here]

  Date Army

Charts:

Childhood friends who have been together all the time.

Date Masamune <Cousins> Date Shigezane

Date Shigezane >I want to assist!> Date Masamune

Katakura Kojuro >Caretaker> Date Masamune & Date Shigezane

Date army is led by the one-eyed rebel, Masamune. It’s still small compared in numbers, but they can counter their enemies with their unorthodox strategies. Using their family bonds as their weapons, they will crush their enemy armies. Toward victory, they won’t take another choice and laugh fearlessly at disadvantages. They are trying to disrupt the war and take the unification under their hands.

Character info > [Click Here]

  *DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE!!*

Translated by clearui

[teathattast]

🌍🌎🌏

[stushiroll-deactivated20200406]

This is the Earths theme tune🙌🏻

[ugh2-0-deactivated20180606]

thank u for ur contribution, Iceland

[pansoph]

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

[beefmilkthings]

jerry is here

[eruriholic]

my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”

[cuddlyaxe-deactivated20190218]

When I was a teenager, we went to Italy for the summer holidays. We are German, neither of us speaks more than a few words of Italian. That didn’t keep my family from always referring to me when they wanted something translated because “You’re so good with languages and you took Latin”. (I told them a hundred times I couldn’t order ice cream in Latin, they ignored that.) Anyway, my dad really loved a certain cheese there, made from sheep’s milk. He knew the Italian word for ‘cheese’ – formaggio – and he knew how to say ‘please’. And he had already spotted a little shop that sold the cheese. He asked me what ‘sheep’ was in Italian, and of course, I had no idea. So he just shrugged and said “I’ll manage” and went into the shop. 5 mins later, he comes out with a little bag, obviously very pleased with himself. How did he manage it? He had gone in and said “'Baaaah’ formaggio, prego.”

I was done for the day.

[ravenpuffheadcanons]

This makes me feel better about every conversation I had in both Rome and Ghent.

[elodieunderglass]

I once lost my husband in the ruins of a French castle on a mountain, and trotted around looking for him in increasing desperation. “Have you seen my husband?” I asked some French people, having forgotten all descriptive words. “He is small, and English. His hair is the color of bread.”

I did not find my husband in this way.

In rural France it is apparently Known that one brings one’s own shopping bags to the grocery store. I was a visitor and had not been briefed and had no shopping bag. I saw that other people were able to conduct negotiations to purchase shopping bags, but I could not remember the word for “bag.”

“Can I have a box that is not a box,” I said.

The checkout lady looked extremely tired and said, “Un sac?” (A sack?)

Of course. A fucking sack. And so I did get a sack.

[kat2107]

I once was at a German-American Church youth camp for two weeks and predictably, we spoke a whole lot of English. 

When I phoned my mom during week two I tried to tell her that it was a bit cold in the sleeping bag at night. I stumbled around the word in German because for the love of god, I could remember the Germwn word for sleeping bag.

“Yeah so, it’s like a bag you sleep in at night?”

“And my mother must probably have thought I lost my mind. She just sighed and was like ‘So, a Schlafsack, yes?”

Which is LITERALLY Sleeping sac … The German word is a basically a one on one translation of the English word and I just… I failed it. At my mother tongue. BIG

[eridaniepsilon]

My former boss is Italian and she ended up working in a lab where the common language was English. She once saw an insect running through the lab and she went to tell her colleagues. She remembered it was the name of a famous English band so she barged in the office yelling there was a rolling stone in the lab…

[backonrepeat]

I’m Spanish and have been living in the UK for a while now. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new office which is lost somewhere in the Midlands’ countryside. It’s a pretty quaint location, surrounded by forest on pretty much all sides, and with nice grounds… full of pheasants. I was pretty shocked when I drove in and saw a fucking pheasant strolling across the road. Calm as you please.

That afternoon I met up with some friends and was talking about the new job, and the new office, and for the life of me I couldn’t remember the English word for pheasants. So I basically ended up bragging to my friends about “the very fancy chickens” we had outside the office.

Best thing is, everyone understood what I meant.

[eridaniepsilon]

I love those stories so much…

[acleverforgery]

Picture a Jewish American girl whose grasp of the Hebrew language comes from 10+ years of immersion in Biblical and liturgical Hebrew, not the modern language. Some words are identical, while others have significantly evolved.

She gets to Israel and is riding a bus for the very first time.

American: כמה ממון זה? (”How much money?” but in rather archaic language)

Bus Driver: שתי זוזים. (”Two zuzim” – a currency that’s been out of circulation for millenia)

[learningftw]

that’s hilarious

[shiraglassman]

I am officially screamlaughing at my desk from that last one OH MY 

[speakertoyesterday]

Does everyone know the prime minister who promised to fuck the country?

So in Biblical Hebrew the word for penis and weapon are the same. There is a verb meaning to arm, which modern Hebrew semanticly drifted into “fuck”: i.e. give someone your dick.

The minister was making a speech while a candidate, bemoning the state of the world. “The Soviet Union is fucking Egypt. Germany is fucking Syria. The Americans are fucking everyone. But who is fucking us? When I am prime minister, I will ensure we are fucked!”

[andhishorse]

What the hell Biblical Hebrew.

[moral-autism]

Just guessing: The path from something like “give someone a blade” to “give someone a blade, if you know what I mean ;)” is probably not that difficult or unlikely.

[liminalreader]

^Given that the Latin word for sheath (like, for a sword) is literally “vagina”, I can verify that this metaphor is a time-honored one. 

[liminalreader]

Oh yeah and one time my Latin professor was at this conference in Greece and his flight was canceled, so he needed to extend his hotel stay by one more night.

Except he doesn’t speak a lick of modern Greek, and the receptionist couldn’t speak English.  Or French.  Or German.  Or Italian.  (He tried all of them.)

Finally, in a fit of inspiration, he went upstairs and got his copy of Medea in the original Greek (you know, the stuff separated from modern Greek by two and a half thousand years).  He found the passage where Medea begs Jason to let her stay for one more day, went downstairs, and read it to the receptionist.

She laughed her head off, but she gave him the extra night.  

[quousque]

i once asked my greek professor what the biggest difference between modern and ancient greek was and she said “screeching”

[phantomthiefbymoonlight]

Nightshade releases on Steam April 12th! 

[goldfoxnikki-blog]

三条

[vvlin91]

Stage Patalliro! (2016)

Aoki Tsunenori as Major Jack Bancoran Sana Hiroki as Maraich

“Don’t…The stone paving is too cold.”

“I’ll warm it up.”

[theoldness]

[w-r-o-u-g-h-t]

this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”

[lady-dainty]

i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it

[wearejustvisiting]

guys guys guys

‘osteoporosis’ is a disease in which bone mass decreases

so they mean fucking

“Bone Atrophy”

[catsea-sushi]

も　　ふ　　も　　ふ　　で　　す　　ね　　。

[kitttn]

“Maeda-kun… is that really f..for me?” “…! B-but it’s unfinished for now…” “…🌸”  「Unfinished」&「Joy」 tkrb60minutes twitter challenge