Tell me "sorry" with a straight face

.U.kno.I.cud.crush.u.w/.my.voice.

[stardustcrucified]

Back from the dead, don't expect much.

Will probably keep up the dissapearing act inbetween posting terrible poetry.

Seems nice here.

[stardustcrucified]

I think God is watching, watching

Watching the glances and painful stopping.

I think God is waiting, waiting

Waiting for me or you to become worth saving.

I think He is dying, dying

Forced observer of habitual lying

I think He sees black and blue

I think He sees me and you.

Watching through the soul of me,

He'd see green eyes and litany

Self-aimed bullets to blow off my head

I've seen God and God is dead.

So if a God is watching,

Watching still I do

If a God is watching it's me and my only muse

Is you

[stardustcrucified]

Floating away before I ever come back

Sometimes that's the best part

Hearing howling sounds in whirlwind clouds and splitting my sternum to make a cave in my chest

It's not that I don't care,

It's that I know it isn't real.

Try telling frozen bodies to move in dawning sun

You won't get anywhere, the same way I'm stuck

Hitting the same wall again and the same floor again

Punching at the jaw again

All for something to matter

And it never did

I miss the freedom of being a kid.

[stardustcrucified]

I'm prepared,

I say, but really I'm trying not to lose this image of us before the storm

I'm trying to hold my breath so you won't hear me shaking.

I may have just slaughtered you

Torn you down, ripped you open from your navel

How can I be ready to see you dead?

But I'm prepared,

I pray, but really I don't believe in God. Or anything higher.

I don't believe you will love me either.

I may have lost myself

Broken my hands, mutilated what remains of me

I cannot be ready to cut off my head

But I'm here

And if that's all that matters anymore I'll leave

Because the meaning in presence and absence is never the same.

So maybe learn to love me from a distance

Or let me go

Never hold me the same way again

The choice I leave to you.

But don't be afraid. It's yours to make.

And whatever you prefer,

If you choose to forget me for the rest of your life or restart my blackened heart

I'm prepared

And I don't think I ever will be more so.

[stardustcrucified]

Went to this big bridge today

Well, yesterday. It's tomorrow morning and I can't sleep.

Want to give myself a nosebleed

Watch it all pour out and think, 'I blinked first years ago'.

When I took all that pain

And walked to the house from the end of the street.

I think of the raised fist sometimes.

The coldness, and the threat of, ' If you ever say that again,

I swear to god I'll punch you in your face'

I remember how the front door looked. And the eyes too.

Just remember waiting for the key to turn so I could hide inside.

It feels like that now someday

Like I'm just waiting for the world to move

For something to shift.

So, I guess, yesterday when I stood on that wall

It made sense why I thought about jumping

Losing my balance with the turn of my head

Blinking out at whiteboard clouds

And feeling my body crash all the way down.

[stardustcrucified]

Rather bored.

laying in my bed, feeling seconds slip by my skin

it's weird, because

there was a time where I would have told you anything.

Now I see the way you adopt monotony when I tell you the way I'm afraid

because maybe you think I'm lucky, or maybe

you see this as a cry for sympathy, attention.

it's strange, because

the only way to prove the hurt is to spill my blood or die in it.

I begin to think about it. It doesn't seem as bad as it did nights ago,

when I knew I still had a chance of sleeping.

But now all I do is lay awake.

I am waiting to die, to dream, to be proven right.

And every recognition is one you should have made when I told you to,

you seem surprised I have nightmares.

So many are about the way I'm afraid. And about you dismissing me so easily.

[stardustcrucified]

Been waking up about 5 times a night for the past 4 nights and all I think about every time is the fact that I would feel so much better if shit like this just didn't happen??

[stardustcrucified]

It was a closed casket funeral, you know,

I'm not sure they ever found her body.

Twisting, turning, falling, lurching in a certain kind of darkness you can only feel

They said she died quickly-a second or two-but when I looked in her eyes I saw

Her life. Her childhood, her friends, everything

I saw a long, long story

And I knew she'd read it all

I think I was the only person who knew that.

Pieces lost everywhere, the kinds you can't replace

The wound grew to a chasm

Nobody knew how to fix it

What's worse, no-one even noticed.

Then it happened.

I can imagine the shatter of bones and tearing of skin but nothing is closure enough

I would look even if it were carnage

Even if it broke my soul

But I just look at you now

The empty casket in the ground

And I say that it feels like so long has passed

And I'm not sure they'll ever find your body.

[stardustcrucified]

Climb out of the wreck

Just like that, keep going

Keep moving

Upon your hands and knees, scraped and stabbed with shards of glass

I think you're off the road

There's a puddle of blood by the shattered door

No, don't look, just keep crawling

You'll make it but you have to keep your head down

That's good, like that, keep that rhythm

Slow, achy, begging for an end

Yet still you move.

Hey, come on, don't stop

You didn't fly that far

The car's a mess but you're a maniac

You don't have far to fall anymore

You're on the asphalt now, good

Rolled over, belly up and so, so vulnerable

Between the yellow lines.

Stay still and stay there

Wait for a freight to run you over

Then we can bury you properly.

[stardustcrucified]

There is a time and place for everything in this universe

Except for all that is mine, forgotten,

Forsaken, pushed back against the walls and rocked against the stone forever

Don't think I forgive you, you had a chance

You had a choice to set yourself free

To let me go, too.

You threw it away, tossed it, hurled it like a broken kid flying for the fight

Well I can throw too

Now when my chance comes,

I'm going to blow this place to pieces and watch the fear in your eyes

And in my eyes you see your own reflection

Terrified

You'll remember you had a chance

A choice

To stop this

Now it's too late

Far, far too late

[stardustcrucified]

Today I put on my clothes, nice ones, incase I saw you

It was cold and your eyes never caught mine

I saw your friends talk and stare at me, pointing, brows down, asking each other

Questions I could not hear

You should've come over

Up to me then, or I should've come over

Try to find a way to invite myself to you

Smiling with my tongue chewed up

Yours is almost as loose as your own restraints

And you'll never find me again

Really I hope you don't because

This might be the self destruction I need to set off the bomb

Inside my chest

Ribs flying everywhere, blood on the walls, all over your hands

Did you really think it was pointless?

Think of it, drown it, cradle it tightly

I'll wear something different if you ever see me like that again

Maybe everything you've come to regret

Something you will remember

[stardustcrucified]

Unmarked by tide and watched by time our bodies turn to rust

Unblinking eye and all go by, forgetting as I must

Electric blue, the sharp-edged hue that stings me in my trust

The loss and pain of loss of gain, the agony of lust

In dark red rooms and bitter fumes that claw your eyes to dust,

I know you wish to do what your mind reels from in disgust

In wicked games and long taught shames I know it is unjust

To keep from you in heart and pew, to help you to combust

Your face it tells of sickly swells and how your blood will rush

To clot the wound of angered boom, to drown your mind in mush

And nothing in the world will make you click to this adjust

So you go down and into town and suffer in star's dust

You know

We could do what lovers do, and do what lovers must

Deep in your heart it rips apart as agony encrusts

We could be like lovers free, and you would never fuss

Or we can stay alone this way, you'll look but never touch

We can laugh and kiss and sleep and do what lovers must

We'll kiss and lie and then confide in hollow empty husks

We'll know the spin of glory win and how the time will rush

We can do what lovers do, but kiss and never touch

You will never own your world

You'll look but never touch

[cadygroves]

If I relate to Pete Wentz' lyrics does that mean I'm insane?

[foliejpg]

“i could fix him” “i could make him worse” i could be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday

[f3v3r-dr3am]

Tag game!!!

Do this quiz

And this picrew

And tag people(obviously)

@anartistwithamask @gummy-axolotl @shadowthegay @auseryoumayknow @copper-ichor @moonysfavoritetoast @alexthescaredenby @invaderxeya @fungal-boy-witch-yay @artists-void @hazbin-hotel-lucifer-simp @ka1-the-pr0ot @theautumnalcat

[cathartictrash]

Thanks for the tag!

I tag @rubyeyebabybat, @stelladoesstuff, @elemit, @clipartreview-blog, and @breathing-sarcasm.

[stelladoesstuff]

Thanks! :D

@skydraanwyn @roguishwretches @gaypenguinss @atomicradiogirl @darkurgetrash @lewdisescariot

obligatory tagging have fun everyone /nf

[paladin-dog]

The alignment chart did me so dirty but I had a hella fun time w the picrew >:3 thanks for tagging me <3

I shall tag: @whatismyyybpoggg @it-sucks-to-be-a-duck @canigetanuwu @gaypenguinss @cgi-heart-eyes

[canigetanuwu]

Oooh thanks for the tag :D

Tagging: @l3m0n4d3-st4nd @i-3at-s0ap @nutria--oscura @phillycheesesteakcore @soup-child @livingponcho

[nutria--oscura]

The art style is so pretty AHHHHHH!!! Thanks for the tag!!

Tagging: @louthecoder @bugwantsahug @mthevlamister @lex-the-lesbiann @lemonofthevalley @livingponcho @abeinginsand @scamuel-likely @kazooyay

[mthevlamister]

Thank you~

Loads of fun~ @phillycheesesteakcore @darlingmissmoth @writingrobinsblog @wowbitchymuch (get your ass online loser) @fishyfishyfishtimes @greiiliss

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Fun game, it's like making yourself into an adventurer! Yours looks very nice :D

When I was making the little picrew I kept thinking "Yes! Long pants to protect me from the ticks and mosquitoes! Tall boots to walk in the grass!" because I kept thinking about an adventurer who would do foresty things.. but then I saw the fishy backgrounds and I was immediately like "oh."

@eddieintheocean @trickstertox @bethanythebogwitch @ilovecoelacanths @rosybetta and umm... whoever! I sometimes forget to tag people I would otherwise tag

[bethanythebogwitch]

Mad scientist time.

Tried to make my avatar but there weren't enough options

[aquatic-dusk]

@snakest1cks @sundriedt0mato @a-burnt-muffin @chaoticdelusionangel @scatteredexho @thorned-urchin

[scatteredwxho]

thanks for the tag! all the picrews look so neat :D

@zestyonion @tastybrick @catpossibly @missbutnotmadame @draconiandread @sketchygainedyoursoul

[sketchygainedyoursoul]

echo you bastard

@penguinsr4ever @jos-has-too-many-hobbies @callum-hunt-is-bisexual idk

[blueish-jay]

@foooxobsessedperson @dude-againjustwhy @sewer-rabbit

[sewer-rabbit]

@padawan-crevette @turboputt03 @crowleystolemyshoes

[turboputt03]

Very fun!!

@squirrelfromspace @ax-fantasma @eve-the-beep @inkwell-god @completely-real-and-normal-human

[squirrelfromspace]

@fungisteri @drum-bot-brian @turboputt03 @overclockedroulette @kuro-matcha @cup-of-anxi-tea @kanda-franca @nocturnebby @notsobakedtoast @thegaythespian @leuchtturmhaus @dmpls-sos (and anyone that wants!)

No pressure though!

[starlight-storytime]

admittedly, i did expect this. (chaotic good is the only type ive ever played)

@ anyone who wants to play, please feel free!!

[pinkhimecat]

My results!! About what I expected, honestly.

Come play with me!

@bxrningdragxn @omniuravity @valiantsuitcaseskellington @ittybittyworm2 and anyone else who wants to join!

[bxrningdragxn]

Thanks so much for the tag! ^^

ngl I did not expect to be lawful good lol

Let's see who to tag... >:3

@bottlecapsandotherthings @stardustcrucified :>

and of course, anyone else who wants to!

[stardustcrucified]

Thanks for tagging me!

@weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral @edenexxe and anyone else that wants to!

[mysweetfracture09]

fun fact sophomore slump taught me how to spell believe seriously i just kind of guessed. before cause there are too many i and es 👎👎👎👎 too confusing

also yay 2 me for actually drawing something today i have had the WORST artblock vro

[stumpomatic-blog]

patrickstump.com blog from April 27, 2008

24…minus the Jack Bauer

Yup. So I’m 24 today. As of 1:06 AM. I guess it’s about time for a quarter-life crisis.

I was at an acting coach a while ago and I was filling out this little questionaire thingy in the waiting room. They ask for the range of what ages you could play. Thus far as a crappy little actor I’ve played a 30+ murder suspect on Law and Order, and I was in talks to play a 15 year old Oklahoma boy. I guess I figured that was my range so I wrote it down. Looking at those numbers though, it felt kinda weird. I feel like I could convincingly be either but nothing in between. Like I’m missing my 20’s and I’m not even halfway through them. You get a mortgage and you drive a Civic and you take your dog to the vet and pretty soon you find yourself going to bed at 11 and begrudgingly becoming a morning person. I guess in retrospect, 23 felt a lot more like what I thought 33 would feel like. I guess I’ll have to wait 10 years to know for sure. But then I feel like I’m still a little-ass kid in a lot of ways. I realized I’ve never seen the Godfather movies. Or like Caddyshack. Cause I’m a kid. And I have a lot more to do with my life. Like see the Godfather. And Caddyshack. And then there’s the fact that I’m a little dude at a towering 5'4…closer to 5'5…but I feel like when you’re as short as I am, if you’re really grabbing at those percentiles of an inch that’s just sad. I’d rather round down. But the point is I’ll always be looking up to everybody like when you’re a toddler. I mean, I can’t grow a beard yet. I shaved my sideburns a few months back and I got carded everywhere I went for a couple weeks. I guess it’s like how Yoda tells Luke his mind is never on where he is or what he’s doing. And I’m still young enough to think that’s a relevant analogy.

-p.stump