Sweet Seals For You, Always
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Misplaced Lens Cap
d e v o n
Jules of Nature
wallacepolsom
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
hello vonnie
Game of Thrones Daily
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Origami Around
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
izzy's playlists!
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Discoholic 🪩
will byers stan first human second
blake kathryn
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@stargateinmybasement
I have just enough knowledge about archaeologists working for the American federal government to write the most boring stargate: SG1 fanfiction ever put to page. Everyone be thankful I have not inflicted it upon you.
I would love to read a fic about the bureaucracy and Daniel and contractor levels/pay grades. with like. Goa'uld attacks in the background, largely ignored by the fic.
Horrible job everyone
due to popular demand you can now stream the Slur Song for free without Spotify, using my new streaming service slurify.co
Pretty amazing that the website dedicated entirely to streaming slurs is somehow more ethical than spotify
vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off
She Would Say That. She would DO that.
For context: Jonis Josef is a famous Norwegian comedian.
for @dammmithardison
“It’s only a crime if you get caught, really,” General Kenobi nodded.
“We did get caught, Sir.”
“Semantics, my dear Commander, semantics.”
“This is the best day of my life,” Fox sniffled, holding up the camera again. “General, give us a smile!”
is jake gyllenhaal gay??
why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this
happy pride month to this post specifically
World Heritage Post
always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal
Did you know that AO3 allows fics with homicide in them? There’s a whole tag for Major Character Death and even more tags so you can find exactly what kind of character death you want to read.
Don’t they know that murder is illegal? You just know there are a bunch of homicidal maniacs out there who love to read those stories. They write them, too, in between killing people.
Anyone can read the stories on AO3! Kids can read them! They’re getting exposed to stabbing, poisoning, even guns! And they’re writing the heroes doing the killing, too! That’s basically telling kids it’s okay to go out and murder their families. It’s promoting violence and encouraging homicide and if we don’t do something about it soon, you’ll be murdered next!
The devil came to my house and tried to burn it down, which is why this post exists in the first place.
I can’t believe that tumblr user ao3commentoftheday is telling KIDS to go out knocking on doors asking for the devil! /s
but only *after* they piss on the poor! /s
collection
lmfao the Scots in town for the World Cup have made a pilgrimage to Boston's world-famous Cop Annihilating Slide
Academy Award winner Marcia Lucas has died. While winning major awards for her work as an editor for Star Wars (alongside a team of editors, including Paul Hirsch and Richard Chew; some of her contributions outside of her work with George Lucas include Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Taxi Driver, and New York, New York), she mostly disappeared from the public eye following her divorce and essentially retired.
While Marcia dispelled the belief that she singlehandedly saved Star Wars in the edit (and very passionately defended George's craftmanship and ideas, which she felt were undercredited, as well as the work of their team in general), there was a lot of work she specifically did and I thought it would be good to highlight just how much she did and give her credit where it is due. There is a lot that came from her that most don't know about. Most of those examples are from Howard Kazanjian's biography, A Producer's Life, published in 2021.
On some of the uncredited dialogue and story revisions for Star Wars:
On some of her work in Star Wars:
On having the iconic trench run on the Death Star as her biggest work while working on Star Wars:
On her uncredited work in The Empire Strikes Back:
On how her input changed the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark:
On her joining the Return of the Jedi crew, an emphasis in finding the right cut for actors, cutting together footage of Luke in ROTJ after she and George disagreed with the characterization the director had given to Mark Hamill and unable to reshoot footage:
On editing the climactic ending in the Throne Room in ROTJ:
One thing about Farscape is that it really follows through on a lot of consequences of violence, and I think that's because at the center of the show is a living ship, deliberately created without any means of violence, whose only substantive protection is running away further and faster than anyone else. For a show with space guns, star fighters, intergalactic armadas, and an above average number of planets being destroyed, a whole lot of Farscape's plots revolving around avoiding violence, and the total futility of violence. Two major antagonists both pursue the protagonists with violent actions and intentions, and both are total futile. One blames them for the accidental death of his brother, the other thinks they have important information that none of them could share if they wanted to. When the protagonists resort to violence, the outcomes range from mixed success that creates new and worse problems to purely being a bad decision full stop. There's two whole characters who were child soldiers and they're haunted by the violence of their past, with fragile grips on the tenuous sense of belonging that comes from being stranded with strangers. The whole crew gets a reputation and discover it's a bad thing when anyone, anywhere might assume you're a dangerous violent monster.
And a lot of the ptsd and emotional problems play out in hilarious ways, because that's kind of life, so it never beats you over the head with the idea that everyone is Very Sad, it's just baked into their sharp tempers, sudden flares of emotion, rambling speeches, self destructive behavior and so on. No one has anyone to talk to who hasn't got some kind of thorny, deeply troubled violence both in the text of the show or the past, because it kicks off with a jailbreak. The one calm, therapuetic crew member is like that because it's how she copes with having been a former terrorist and doing shitloads of murders. The action is exciting and interesting but no one has a good outcome form violence. It's just like life for real.
hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?
IMPORTANT UPDATE: 7,532 species of frog in the world, ok?!
great news! 7,556 species of frog in the world, ok?!
hey don't cry, now there are 7,576 species of frog in the world, ok?!
excellent news! 7,591 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth
guess what! 7,624 species of frog on planet earth, ok?
hey don't cry, 7,645 species of frog on planet earth, ok? peace and love on planet autism
great news! 7,653 species of frog on planet earth, ok?
hey don't cry. 7,670 species of frog on planet earth, ok?
new year new frogs! 7,678 species of frog on planet earth, ok?
hey don't cry. 7,683 species of frog in the world, ok? ❤️
hey don't cry. 7,698 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth
hey don’t cry. 7,701 species of frog in the world, ok?
@markscherz how many of these do we get to thank you for again?
95 at present, more on the way :)
hey don't cry. 95 species of frog discovered by tumblr's own frog scientist dr. mark scherz, ok?
hey don't cry. 7,758 species of frog in the world, yippee!
hey don't cry. 7,806 species of frog in the world, ok?
hey don’t cry. 7,817 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet autism 💖
hey don't cry. 7,836 species of frog in the world, ok?
hey don't cry. 7,864 species of frog in the world, yay!
hey don't cry. 7,935 species of frog in the world, yippeeeeee
HEY DON'T CRY. 8,008 SPECIES OF FROG IN THE WORLD PER AMPHIBIAWEB AND THE 8,000TH FROG WAS DESCRIBED BY TUMBLR'S OWN FROG SCIENTIST DR. Scherz, ET AL., PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH ‼️‼️‼️
it’s been said before and it’s not even close to the worst thing but it sucks how our current robber barons are such philistines. like these guys aren’t even building libraries or concert halls. they can’t even pretend to enjoy art, and they don’t see any value in signaling that they appreciate art
this current batch of the fithy-rich is BORING. They're BORING. Oh you have a yacht that's bigger than anybody else's yacht but functionally no different from one of your fancy houses? BORING. You have yet another fast car? YAWN. You ate a burger but like, a special burger? whatever. FUND AN OPERA ABOUT ANOTHER RICH GUY YOU HATE, DIPSHITS. How about you put a concert hall with your name on it in every city in the US and fund their operations for the next decade, if you're so rich????? unless you're too poor to afford that????? How many people do you, personally, directly employ, and what are their salaries? Do you pay well enough to command the loyalty and willing service of any masters of their craft? It would be so easy to win the absolute love and adoration of the masses in this climate but no, they wanna build bunkers and play politics in order to save a few more miserable nickles.
@capriceandwhimsy reminds me of your rabbit hole about yachts
This’ll be a longer story for sure but I’m thinking about that time on my mission when a companion and I helped a man burn his porn stash but when he showed it to us it was literally a refrigerator box full of porn and the smoke burned our eyes so bad they were red for like a whole week and when I told my wifey ( @cintailed) about it she was like “I bet he jizzed onto some of his porn and his burning jizz was what made the smoke so caustic” and I cried because I was really high and I realized I’d smoked jizz right into my lungs. I also got second-degree burns in that area from an accident with a candle so overall that area was a bad area for fire-related activities.
Didn’t it also like. Fail to burn completely. So little flakes of half burnt Playboy went up on the thermals and then rained down after. Such that you might be walking down that street later and see some yellow burnt cornered scrap of paper, like a chunk of some ancient wizard scroll, and then you could flip it over and be like: Ah. That is A Butthole. Zoomed in close enough to count the spokes. God’s plans are strange today.
Ok, so the full story is: My companion and I made contact with a family of former investigators in our area of the mission. They had two kids and were only unable to be baptized due to extreme poverty making it difficult for them to “fully live the law of chastity” (i.e., the husband was still legally married to someone else and couldn’t afford a divorce.) But they were super interested in baptism, especially his fiancée. They’d been getting the missionary lessons from other companionships for so long they knew everything by heart, so they liked to request certain lessons they liked more than others. One day, the wife asks if we can teach The Law of Chastity with a focus on eternal marriage, and we said “yes” because that is like a missionary’s dream.
So we start preparing the lesson and get a decent setup for the couple and their two young kids to be engaged and interested. We go to their place and teach them and at the end of the lesson we ask if they have any questions. The husband and the kids all shake their heads and say thanks, but the wife lets out a big huff and says,
“Hey, you guys skipped the part about pornography, right?”
Which, we did. Because they requested a lesson on the law of chastity focused on temple marriages AND because they had teeny weeny little kiddos and we didn’t wanna broach that topic unless we had explicit permission from parents. So we told her all this, and she goes,
“Ah, that makes sense! My kids already know what pornography is.”
And me being a dumbass, say back,
“Your oldest is like 4, how do they know what that is?”
And she does the most dramatic hair-toss-head-flip combo I’ve ever seen and goes “I don’t know, BABE, how did they learn?” 👀
And he sighs and says “baby, you swore you weren’t gonna do this.”
And she says, “yeah, because you swore I wouldn’t have to! You said you’d do it yourself!”
And he sighs and tells us that after he and his soon-to-be ex-wife separated he bought a subscription to Hustler and had it for years before he cancelled it. He also mentioned that he was involved in a lot of chat rooms and that he had bought and printed out a lot of porn over the years. He said when he started dating his fiancée he realized that he didn’t want to look at porn anymore so he just kinda stopped, but he had so much stored up that he needed a place to put it so he put it all in a box and forgot about it until they decided to move to a smaller house and his fiancée mistook the porn stash for their eldest son’s bed and opened it and unearthed the morherload of all porn caches in front of their children, who just wanted their beds so they could nap.
We listened patiently as they shared the story with us and the husband shared feeling super guilty and gross about that part of his life and that was why he hadn’t brought it up. He asked if we could help at all, and, again, because this is the stuff of missionary dreams we said yes. So he brought his porn stash box down and it was a fucking full-size refrigerator box stuff to bursting with porn. Like, I fully do NOT believe pornography addiction is a thing but this experience pushed my belief in that a little. It was SO much porn. Magazines, posters, DVDs, even stuff he had clearly printed out at an Internet cafe. We had our work cut out for us, and let me tell you friends that me and my companion got to work.
We set up a day and time to meet with them, and told them to make preparations by stockpiling wood and tinder. My companion and I bought two bottles of rubbing alcohol and two gallons of gasoline the day of the booty bonfire and set out towards our destination. When we arrived, we became aware that the parents had turned gathering firewood into a family game, and we hey had amassed a pile of wood and dry grass about 3 feet high and 3 feet wide. We started off by spraying a whole bottle of rubbing alcohol onto the wood, then started systemically ripping the magazines and tossing them into the pile. We then doused the whole thing with 1 gallon of gasoline and lit a match. It was at this point that we realized the true challenge of our task: the paper that made the magazine pages was some sort of a plasticky laminated paper substance, and was insanely hard to burn. Overall, this turned something simple (burning paper) into a wretched task, which was made more wretched by the noxious smoke the plasticky pages emitted. Even a full week after our cum quest ended our eyes were bloodshot and irritated. People thought we were stoners, and because the pages smelled faintly like burning plastic we even kinda smelled like stoners. We had to tend to the fire excessively, as each individual magazine took concentrated effort to set alight. Additionally, the pages often fragmented and got carried away with the rising smoke, which created a fire hazard that required a lot of attention.
Despite how gross it was at its core, it was actually a really fun act of service. The fiancée and kiddos sat a safe distance away from the burn pile and cheered like we were star athletes any time we got another magazine to catch fire. They turned burning pornography into a wholesome family event by letting the kids throw fistfuls of dry grass and lint into the infernal pile of blazing pornography and making it a contest to see who could find the most kindling. Additionally, like @inbabylontheywept said, we ended up showering the neighborhood in highly detailed chocolate starfish and exquisite 1999-2005 era tiddies because the pages would break apart and float up on the rising smoke, then descend like depraved confetti. I personally found fragments of Hustler as far as a mile away while waiting for the bus home, and I heard tell from a family of members who lived about 2 km away that their neighbors had found what appeared to be fragments of roasted pornstar anus falling into their backyard in the evening, so we got some distance with that stuff. Overall the experience was fun, and realistically it was one of the only times I had a story from my mission I felt I could write home about without traumatizing my mom, so I was stoked. It was a very weird thing overall, though. So anyways, I guess the moral of the story is if you’re burning porn get more than two gallons of gasoline. Like, consider thermite. Read more Terry Pratchett, be gayer, and if you wanna burn your porn stash be prepared for a fucking slog.
Happy Pride Month Tumblr ✨
