Just some loser

31, Australian. Star Trek fan, and occasional ranting, raving lunatic about Raymond E. Feist. Sometimes I hit the post limit on purpose.

[mteverestaaaaahh]

It was nice not having to cover them in blood and soot this time

[staringdownabarrel]

I saw the new episode of Strange New Worlds, Valles Marineris. Spoilers under the cut.

My kneejerk reaction to this is just holy shit, this is the dumbest shit I've seen in a while. Surely if there was some ancient civilisation on Mars that got destroyed at the same time the dinosaurs were destroyed on Earth there would have been some signs? Like, we know the dinosaurs existed here on Earth, and even in the real world we have some modelling on what the environmental development of our planet looked like over the course of its history. By the 23rd century, we'd have a similar depth of knowledge about Mars if we don't have it already.

I feel like this is going to be one of those episodes where it seems really dumb now, but when I come back to it in twenty years, it'll seem like a lot of fun in the same way bad episodes of TOS or the Berman era are fun episodes. That by itself puts it streets ahead of what that dreadful opening episode of the first season had been like.

That being said, I think the idea about having multiple M-class planets in the same solar system hosting sentient species is a good one. Obviously there's been other episodes where this has happened (Spock's Brain for one, and A Taste of Armageddon), but I wish it'd come up more because I think it's a cool concept in general.

Really Strange New Worlds would be a good show to do that with, especially given that so much of the show's first season was based around edge cases of the Prime Directive. The show's moved on a bit from that sort of story premise now of course, but there's no reason why they couldn't go back to it.

The time travel elements are a bit touch and go for me. I think there are some interesting things you can do with time loop storylines, but this sort of paradox where the event needed to happen for the characters to exist but the event couldn't have happened if they weren't there is one of the least interesting ones. I don't know if it's actually not all that interesting or if it's just been overdone because everyone wants to do their version of this paradox, though.

I think a more interesting version of this would be to have had it so that the Martians were on the verge of developing a planet killer anyway, but something about the Enterprise coming back in time made it so the prototype was destroyed. That way it would have sidestepped the paradox a little bit, but it also would have given Pike more actual agency in the story.

Speaking of agency, I wish they had have gotten rid of Scotty for the season. Pelia's the chief engineer, but they keep treating Scotty as if he is in terms of his actual role in the story. This annoyed me in season three and it'll probably annoy me this season, too.

[spockvarietyhour]

Star Trek Deep Space Nine "Dramatis Personae"

[paradosical]

spock sketches cuz i’m figuring out how to draw him

[is-spirk-canon-yet]

yeah

[paradosical]

go my ponyfication beam 💥💥

[silvaerial]

Patron Saints of One-Way Trips

[cutecipher]

oh my god. i have never seen this

this is the worlds most awkward promo shot

[cutecipher]

where are they supposed to be. there's no cave in that episode.

[cutecipher]

[mf-dooom]

[yetanothergreyjedi]

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

[ashtraythief]

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

[luulapants]

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

[whetstonefires]

crane husband.....

[roach-works]

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

[alex51324]

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

[thesylverlining]

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

[anais-ninja-bitch]

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

[largishcat]

[eshlimoriarty]

[lazorsandparadox]

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

[queersatanic]

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[kedreeva]

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.

[optimysticals]

Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe

[thelibrawrian-deactivated201912]

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

[tehzii]

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.

[ladyzolstice]

i used to work in a call center for a roadside assistance company, from late 2015 to early 2016. it was easily the most miserable job i’ve ever had, and the turnover rate was very high. people stuck on the side of the road tend to be quick to anger - understandably so - and it wears on you after awhile.

so i had been having a string of very time-consuming, draining calls. my line rings again, i steel myself for another angry caller, and i pick up. “[redacted] roadside assistance, how can i help you?” i chirp, in my Customer Service Voice.

“yeah, hi,” a gentleman with a thick southern accent responds. “my motorcycle won’t start.”

i brace immediately for another long call. motorcycles were notoriously difficult to work with - a lot of insurance companies wouldn’t insure them, and a lot of tow companies refused to pick them up because they require a specific sort of trailer.

“i’m sorry to hear that, sir. what’s your current location?”

“oh, i’m just at my house. i was wondering if it would be okay for me to just load it into my trailer and take it to my buddy’s shop. would that interfere with my insurance?”

i click through his account and am Relieved to discover he’s in the clear. “No sir, it looks like you’re good to go. Can I help you with anything else?”

A pause. “Have you heard the good news?”

My Anxiety, which had been receding, suddenly spikes into the fucking stratosphere. I live in the rural south. The “good news” usually means “Jesus” and i was in no mood to be proselytized to for god knows how long.

i steel myself for the Religious Talk. “What news, sir?”

“McDonald’s is now serving breakfast all day!”

I laughed so hard I almost cried. I hope that guy ate as many hashbrowns as he could.

[hollowflight-propaganda]

Once in my old private school with only like 20 kids maximum, we started having a debate about this:

I’m not kidding.

One kid had a bag of goldfish crackers, and everyone somehow started to yell at each other about if the main fish is yellow or orange.

I became one of the spearheads for yellow, and my argument was that yellow was the base color and the orange is being used as shading, so it’s not actually orange. But the kid who was the spearhead for orange (let’s call him David) WOULD NOT listen to me. (he was always an asshole though, so it’s not too surprising)

This got so heated that the one guy who was in my grade (let’s call him Paul (half the kids had bible names anyway)) was looking at the back of the bag and found a phone number. I think it’s supposed to be there if there’s a problem with the food or something, but he thought he’d try to call to see what they’d say about our dilemma.

I don’t know exactly what the person told him at first, but Paul explained the situation to them and then they put him on hold for a couple minutes while we waited in suspense. I have no clue what they did to fact check this for us, but they pulled through, AND IT WAS YELLOW!!!!!!!!!!! EAT SHIT DAVID!!!!!! >:DDDD

We broke into a cacophony of either joyful cheers or enraged disappointment. I’m not sure if the person who answered our burning question could hear us, but I hope they did and got some joy out of it.

[bianca-hooks123]

I would have been on the side of goldfish being, ya know, GOLD.

[transfemininomenon]

saddest string of words ive ever read please get some self respect baby girl

[andchaos]

Book Grace: This is all so cool! I am the first person to make contact with an alien. And then kill said alien. And then breed said alien. And then make contact with another intelligent alien species. And we can communicate. And we are working together! And I know its the end of the world and this probably isn't the time to be nerding out but, dang it! This is cool!! I just really love science!!!

Movie Grace: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! EVERYTHING IS TRYING TO KILL ME! I'M GOING TO DIE! Okay never mind. This alien guy is chill. Also I just really love science!!!

[jumpingpuddles]

STARGATE ATLANTIS ↝ First Contact

[t-rina]

It is easy for misunderstanding to occur between different cultures when one lacks context.

[defconprime]

USS Fuller under attack

[sg1]

Stargate SG-1, 06.12 Unnatural Selection

[daforged]

episode 1 of tng is fucking wild like q shows up in some shakespearean shit and speaks in ye olde englishe for a solid five minutes before nearly murdering someone with ice and calling picard a little bitch before disappearing, they separate the saucer for basically no reason except to show that they can, meanwhile THEY HAVENT TECHNICALLY STARTED THEIR MISSION BECAUSE THEY HAVE CREW TO PICK UP STILL, q sends humanity to trial and has a guy MURDERED purely because picard was a meanie to him, o’brien is at the conn for some reason, data constantly speaks using contractions, and all of this shit happens in the first 20 mins

[convenient-plot-device]

and then there are giant space jellyfish