it's not my problem that you're willfully stupid.

My blog caters only to me. You owe nothing to strangers on the internet, and they don't owe anything to you, either •|• STOP ASKING ME FOR MONEY OH MY GAAAWWWDDD I DON'T HAVE ANY EITHER😭😭😭

[starrshot]

the giggle brothers

[littlemut]

me: “sorry ): can’t come!! got so much to do at home”

me as soon as im home:

[demiza]

i made this quite some time ago and it flopped on pinterest so here you go tumblr people

[importantdogimages]

[kaity--did]

The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

[kaity--did]

Penny: We go home, we play the mirror game, we have dessert, we play more games, we have fun deal?

Me: Okay well actually we're going to go home, have dinner, then dessert, then we can play your video game, then tubby then bed

Penny: Okay no tubby, games first, deal?

Me: This is not - what is happening right now?

Penny: Dada?

Dada: Arbitration?

Penny: DEALS!

[kaity--did]

Every single thing in our lives has become a negotiation and it is frankly ridiculous as it is hilarious.

Penny: I want to use bare foot when we go outside

Me: I didn't know we were going outside but you have to wear shoes girl

Penny: okay but what about I use bare foot's but at Penny's house? This deal?

Me: you know what yeah fine if you agree to not fight about shoes when we leave the house you can be barefoot in the back yard, deal.

Penny: -sticks her hand out expectantly- we deal?

I think I just made a verbal contract with a 4 year old.

[kaity--did]

She's attempting to establish evidence I think

Penny: but I want to go shool pwease

Dada: okay well it is 8pm, so you have to go to sleep now

Penny: okay but I see my fwiends at shool now please, deal?

Dada: Darling no one is at school, all your friends are asleep as well.

Penny: all Penny's fwiends are sweep? What about we... get in Dadas car and check to see watch them sweep, yes deal?

Dada: I cannot begin to explain to you why that can not happen

[kaity--did]

The great thing about being beholden to Penny the Deals Warlock is that she is also beholden to the art of the deal

Me: (watching Penny scoot her step stool over to where we keep the candy jar): hey honey we're literally walking out the door to go get dinner, maybe we wait on the candy okay?

Penny: Oh but I will have some candy?

Me: Why don't you come have some mac and cheese and then when we get home you can have some candy, deal?

Penny: (running out the door) oh, yes this is deals!

[kaity--did]

We are visiting my family and Papa has quickly had to pay patronage to Penny the Deals Warlock

Papa: (yesterday morning, when Penny was a little grumpy) What about you come downstairs and we'll have some waffles and then tomorrow Papa will take you to the Diner in town for breakfast?

Penny: (extending her tiny hand to a VERY confused man) this is deal?

Papa: (not knowing hes entering a literal contract) uhm yeah deal.

-smash cut to 6:30 AM this morning-

Penny (running down the hallway in bare feet) 👹BREAKFAST DEALS👹

[the-big-mood]

Me after gas prices went up

[thickness-protection-program]

Why is this heat so hot 😩

[fagapult]

It’s the heat

[thickness-protection-program]

Source?

[mamoswole]

[thickness-protection-program]

[pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong]

[spaceorphan18]

Is it bad that I feel slightly bad that I keep coming to the library to use its quietness and its desk space and its pleasant atmosphere for writing but I never check out books?

[ckerouac]

Why would you feel bad? You’re using the library for one of its intended purposes. The desks, WiFi, space etc are LITERALLY there for you to do exactly what you’re doing AND each time you go in you add to the foot traffic numbers that prove hey people are coming in to use our stuff mr. government so keep funding us.

[surroundedbybooks]

Confirmed by another public librarian. One of the stats we track is "WiFi usages"

That is, we track number of sessions/devices using it over time.

The library is not about snooping on what you're doing with that WiFi. Libraries respect privacy.

[rosefyrefyre]

We literally have a door counter at my library. Congratulations, you just added to our statistics.

[chaosfrisur]

I think it's a bit sad that with more and more public spaces vanishing, people are feeling bad about not "buying" stuff to "earn" their time at a library.

A library is like a park, you're allowed to just. Exist in it.

I check out books every 4 weeks, when the learning period from my current books is up, but I go much more frequently with my kid to just sit there and read to them, and that's okay. In my school days, we'd go and do our research for presentations there, just reading, never checking out.

A library is a space to just exist.

[foxofninetales]

So a year or so ago, we added some new desklets at our library, in areas where we noticed that people gravitated to but didn't have the right furnishing to use them in the way they wanted to.

The first few weeks of having the new furniture were absolutely filled with excited librarians whispering to each other, "Look! Someone's using the desklet in the back corner!" and "casually" walking by to enjoy the sight like wildlife researchers who had successfully baited a particularly elusive rare bird. Nobody cared if those people checked anything out or not. There was a need! We saw the need! We filled the need! Hooray!

WE PUT THE THING THERE TO BE USED. USE THE THING.

[tractorgoth]

And you literally pay for the thing! You pay taxes! I’m sure they would want you there regardless and I understand you feel like you have to pay for rent but you very much did already pay for it, that was a thing that happened!

[the-big-mood]

Costco CEO Ron Vachris did the “CEO eats his own product” challenge by destroying a hot dog (and confirms the Costco hot dog combo is staying at $1.50 forever). LEGEND.

Show your unwavering support for Costco’s iconic $1.50 hot dog combo

Costco Hot Dog - T-Shirt (2 sided)

Your favorite $1.50 Kirkland Signature Costco Hot Dog, now on a T-Shirt!  American Apparel Mens Shirt Iconic AA classic tee shirt in our fin

[ruinedchildhood]

Most people know the warning from Costco founder Jim Sinegal to Costco’s previous CEO about raising the price of $1.50 hot dog combo: “I’ll f**king kill you.”

This exchange Sinegal has with the Seattle Times is better:

[theletterwsartflap]

They're reading on their break :)

[time-traveling-fetus]

bau to the bau bau bau bau bau

[the-big-mood]

SqueezeIt introduce their new “Color Changing Squeezit” 📺 (1996)

[ruinedchildhood]

[ruinedchildhood]

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[supreme-leader-stoat]

#do i out myself as a tumblr user so i can send this to my mom who’s a cartographer?

Just steal my meme and text it to her.

[cape-wearing-enigma]

i did in fact send it to my mother and it got a 🤣 emoji out of her which i’d say is a big success, this post is officially my mom approved

[oatmonger-deactivated20260529]

jeez man

[tuxankhamun]

i copied the wrong emoji 😭

[supreme-leader-stoat]

🖕i had a cheesy