Ninethousandcupsofcoffee

A friend once referred to me as "a glorious asshole," and "the professor of ugly." I consider those to be compliments of the highest order. There's a donation link at the bottom of this page for my favorite place in the world. You can read about my favorite place in the world at www.ptbr.org. #resisthate

[pocketss]

Happy Halloween!! Eat lots of candy and stuff!!!

[bastionkeeper]

I see this one like every year and I still dont know the characters involved but I love it, it’s not Halloween without the pumpkin dragons

[therightprometheanfire]

It’s the Glorious 25th of May! For the first time, I’ve done art in advance. Out of all these, I’m proudest of the first one.

Follow me on Instagram!

[theshittyfoodblog]

Just eat it Make sure to follow me on Instagram @theshittyfoodblog: https://ift.tt/2EjfqL4

[artfulg]

The art project that got me sent to the counselor in middle school. - Imgur

[machetelanding]

[deadpresidents]

It’s also worth noting that nobody in their 90s will ever master Twitter better than John Dingell

[statementofporpoise]

I love him.

[transenbyhollis]

[novakspector]

Working class people are mocked as “trailer trash” for living in small modular homes they can afford called “trailers” or “mobile homes.” Upper middle class people are praised as “environmentally conscious” and “minimalist” for “downsizing” and living in small modular homes called “tiny houses.” Rich people have pretentiously re-branded something poor people have been ridiculed for doing for decades as some sort of innovative, trendy lifestyle choice they came up with themselves. They use language that lets them continue to be snobby and make sure everyone knows they aren’t poor, they simply chose to live like a poor person out of their own virtue. The only difference between a “sustainable tiny home community” and a “trailer park" is the socioeconomic background of the people who live there.

[sosuperawesome]

Chris Austin Art on Instagram

Follow So Super Awesome on Instagram

[transtarks]

why does the airport i go to have the fucking willy wonka tunnel in it i’m going insane

[transtarks]

it is 6:09 in the morning and they expect me to walk through this and come out the other end mentally sound

[beggars-opera]

I’d like to introduce everyone to my new theme song

[the-v-gees]

fuckin MOOD

[aninactivebloggfgfgf]

I love the contrast between the lyrics and the melody this is art

[cold-and-analytical]

pfffffffft nooooo I didn’t just learn this song on ukulele… at midnight…

[prridot]

Lyrics: 

I’ve tried, tried, tried And I’ve tried even more  I’ve Cried, Cried, Cried And I can’t recall what for I’ve pressed, I’ve pushed, I’ve yelled, I’ve begged In hope of some success  But the inevitable fact is that It never will impress 

I’ve no more fucks to give,   My fucks have runneth dry,  I’ve tried to go fuck shopping  But there’s no fucks left to buy  I’ve no more fucks to give,  Though more fucks I’ve tried to get,  I’m over my fuck budget and I’m now in fucking debt 

I strive, strive, strive  To get everything done  I’ve played by all the rules But I’ve very rarely won, I’ve smiled, I’ve charmed, I’ve wooed I’ve laughed, Alas to no avail I’ve run round like a moron, To unequivocally fail!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck fuse has just blown, I’ve been hunting for my fucks all day, But they’ve upped and fucked off home, I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck rations are depleted, I’ve rallied my fuck army but It’s been fucking defeated! 

The effort has just not been worth The time or the expense I’ve exhausted all my energy  For minimal recompense The complete lack of acknowledgement  Has now begun to gall And I’ve come to realise that I  Don’t give a fuck at all!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have flown away, My fucks are now so fucked off They’ve refused to fucking stay! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have gone insane They’ve come back round and passed me While they’re fucking off again!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all dissolved, I’ve planned many projects But my fucks won’t be involved! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all been spent, They’ve fucked off from the building And I don’t know where they went! 

I’ve no more fucks to give,  I’ve no more fucks to give,  I’ve no more fucks,  I’ve no more fucks,  I’ve no more fucks to give!

[scootscoot5000]

Good news folks it’s on Spotify!!!

[chipmunkwithwings]

im going to be reblogging this every few hours to make sure every single one of my followers gets to see this epic post

[shotce]

OMG SOMEONE ADDED THE LYRICS

[dovewithscales]

This song makes me so happy.

[alina774]

This had me cackling like a madwoman way too early in the morning.

TURN THE SOUND ON!!

[the-brodie-set]

This tracks.

[tap-shoes]

Edina is 10000% T H E  W O R S T in Minnesota

[tami-taylors-hair]

Sorry, but it’s nonsense that Memphis is the worst city in Tennessee. This is a state where Murfreesboro exists. I’d rather be dead in Memphis than alive in Murfreesboro. 

[bluesmomsadclub]

Dallas is far superior to Texarkana. The surface of the sun is far superior to Texarkana. This map is a lie.

[thewhiskeykitteh]

Worcester SUCKS, good job map

[hopefulmisanthrope]

Albany is trash, sure, but Utica?

[guillotinaturner]

Albany isn’t that bad. I mean, Poughkeepsie would top Albany for me, for sure.

[unrequited-words]

Sparks is trashy AF

[thekiltedginger]

Yeah… Camden is really bad, but Reading and Chester are way worse than Scranton.

[stephaknee]

I happen to like Woonsocket, RI.

Bridgeport CT is effing SCARY after dark.

[statementofporpoise]

Clearly the creator has never been to Yakima, the self-proclaimed Palm Springs of Washington.

[visual-infinity]

[that-one-fat-guy-over-there]

how dare you do that to baby 

[towerofglass]

[theartistformerlyknownasmma]

@geekandmisandry

[geekandmisandry]

Same.

[vicholas]

[brainbubblegum]

To new, inexperienced drivers:

so idk if they teach you this in drivers’ ed class or whatever, but if you see someone in the opposite direction flashing their high beams at you, they’re NOT being a dick. they’re saying, “SLOW DOWN, I just saw a police car back there”.

If I hadn’t known that today, I wouldn’t have noticed the police car hiding in its fox hole and gotten a ticket for going 20 over the speed limit. and I’m glad I don’t have to pay $80 for a dumb mistake!!!

[badgerofshambles]

In deer country this is also used to warn others about a herd up ahead. In either case, the double flash means that some nonsense is occurring and ya gotta slow down!

[hiccup-queen]

Double-flash also means “turn on your headlights”. Basically, if someone’s flashing their brights, pay super-close attention and figure out what’s going on.

[annchovi]

They could ALSO be flashing them to tell you to turn YOUR brights off because you’re blinding them! It’s common courtesy to turn your brights off for oncoming traffic, but not everyone knows this~

[kyraneko]

I’ve also seen it used to warn of an accident ahead. Basically anytime someone flashes their brights at you, if your own lights are 1) on, and 2) not on bright, you can take it to mean “slow down and pay attention for the next stretch of road particularly.”

Whether that’s for a speed trap, a herd of deer, or four fire trucks, two ambulances, and a dozen squad cars all clustered around what used to be two vehicles, slowing down and paying attention is good for you and can save you a lot of money and/or heartache.

[statementofporpoise]

It's one of the few ways we have to communicate with other drivers.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[awesomacious]

The sweetest granddaughter