I really dislike the narrative that detrans people were “never really trans”…really? how do you, an internet stranger, get to decide what someone’s identity “really” was? being trans means many different things to many different people, so to say that someone was never “really trans” because they changed their mind at some point kinda implies that you think there is a “right way” to be trans.
well, newsflash, there is no “right way”. If someone believed they were trans, lived as a trans person, experienced the ups and downs of gender dysphoria/euphoria, went thru the trouble of social and medical transition and through that journey, that person said “wait…I don’t think this fits me anymore.” seems pretty trans to me.
and that’s okay, it’s okay to change your mind. you were trans.
or if you want to say “I wasn’t trans I was x thing instead” that’s also okay.
what isn’t okay is to police other people’s language about their journey. to police someone’s identity because it makes you uncomfortable. like it or not, real trans people detransition. whether they decide they are actually cis, trans but in a different way, or another identity that fits them better is up to that individual person and doesn’t invalidate their previous LIVED EXPERIENCE as a trans person.
If your knee jerk reaction to someone saying they were trans for a period of time, then decided to detransition is “well you were never trans at all!” mayhaps examine why that’s the first thing you think to say, instead of something a bit more constructive or positive. Like what happened to “oh I’m glad you were able to find an identity that worked for you” as an example.
For those who are detrans reading this, if you needed someone to tell you this. you were really trans. you weren’t faking it and you weren’t deceiving anyone. you don’t deserve to have your experiences devalued or seen as unimportant. Whatever your situation or circumstances were/are, it was real, because it was real for you. and that’s all that matters.